The Audacious Life - Break Free

Healing is in the air! Ready to break free from narcissistic abuse? Discover these 5 essential books to help you heal, release the fear, and rebuild your life. Learn how to break free from toxic patterns, regain your self-esteem, and find inner peace.  

Steph discusses the need to focus on healing from narcissistic abuse through recommended resources, emphasizing the importance of moving beyond seeking validation through shared traumatic experiences.

Book Recommendations:

It's Not You: Indentifying and Healing from Narcissistic People by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, PhD - https://amzn.to/4d7RJn9

Focuses on healing from narcissistic abuse rather than discussing the abuser, providing insights into recovery.

Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft - https://amzn.to/3SzJrfg

Explores the mindset of abusive men, offering understanding and validation for those recovering from such relationships.

Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by: Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD - https://amzn.to/3WRjMla

Offers comprehensive guidance for those still in abusive relationships, covering practical aspects like finances and children.

Boundary Boss, Terri Cole: the Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free - https://amzn.to/4cgCKWt

Provides concrete tips and scripts for setting and maintaining boundaries, especially with toxic individuals.

Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal for Recovering from Trauma and Emotional Upheaval by James Pennebaker, PhD - https://amzn.to/3WNaTst

Encourages journaling as a therapeutic tool to process and release trauma, with proven psychological and physiological benefits.

What's on the Horizon

Shifting Focus to Healing and Thriving: Steph emphasizes the need to focus on healing and thriving rather than dwelling on the trauma and identity tied to narcissistic abuse. Seeking ways to find our voice and create meaning through interests that light us up and help give us something to build and look forward to each day, whether a blog, a product, a hobby to share publicly to gain confidence being seen and standing in your power.

Personal Experience and Self-Care: She shares her personal journey and the importance of self-care to get through the worst of times and deeper emotional work. Steph intends to develop resources like an eBook and mini-course to help others in similar situations. Watch for announcements about these and a curated newsletter focused on healing and thriving.

Engagement and Community Support: She encourages listeners to engage with her content, share their own recommendations, and leave feedback to foster a supportive community for healing from narcissistic abuse.

Thank you for listening! Sending lots of Love, light, and prayers to you!!

Love you!

Steph

xoxo *This may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no cost to you if you purchase through a link here. I would never recommend a product I don't use or love myself!

When we seek validation about narcissistic abuse, we think it's helping us heal. But be warned: The Truth About Narcissistic Abuse Validation is not what we think. We're drawn to memes and videos that validate our experience, comfort us, and maybe even help us feel seen...and sane. But is this the best thing for us to heal and grow beyond the abusive programming? In this episode, I'm sharing some thoughts about how we use content to validate our feelings and what can happen as as result. Here's the video with Lundy Bancroft that I mentioned at the beginning of this episode. Narists vs Abusers: https://youtu.be/0iYfG8x80Yw?si=dkiHPw8BcE7Ae-3f - check the comments and add to the conversation.

QUESTION Who are the people, and what are the channels, books, and podcasts you're following to focus on healing and breaking free from narcissistic programming? I'd love to know so I can utilize them and feature them for others--share in the comments. Thank you!! RESOURCES - Feeling hopeless? Dial the 988 Crisis line for compassionate support. - CNN article on the research: https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/12/health... - The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 - The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or online.rainn.org FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL   / stephaniroberts      / audaciouslife      / audaciousmamas      / audaciousmamas   THE AUDACIOUS LIFE PODCAST https://www.theaudaciouslife.com/ THE AUDACIOUS MAMAS SHOW https://www.audaciousmamas.com/ WANT TO BE A GUEST ON PODCASTS? Check out my free lesson to learn about the power of podcast guest appearances to build an audience, amplify your authority, and build your brand while growing your email list with warm leads. Thank you for listening! Lots of Love! xoxo!!

Bethenny's Mom Passed - what happened to the divorce videos?

Bethenny Frankel was on a role sharing about her messy 10-year divorce and my last podcast was all about this. But what happened to Bethenny's divorce videos?"  When she decided to share about her divorce, I was ecstatic and shared why I think she'll be a solid, outspoken catalyst for awareness around emotional abuse, coercive control, and more. Then I saw that her mom died just a few days after I posted the podcast. Heartbreaking and awful timing given the roll she was on and how great she reports she was feeling. Stating that she felt, "Good" and "free."

I figured she would pause her episodes to grieve the loss of her mother.

However, a listener shared that the videos have been pulled down. ") This is  about why she pulled them down, her plan IS to share more information moving forward and an alternate place to get information regarding the details of her divorce (BRAVO Docket, link below) if you can't wait or are now so curious about her specific situation. 

Please subscribe to her channel and remember to click the bell to be notified when she goes live or shares. It seems like she's on a roll, so we can expect more.

And SHARE with other women!

BETHENNY ON THE LOSS OF HER MOTHER: https://youtu.be/yaHvmtGr5hE?si=RTKWtSW4EPOregD4

THE BRAVO DOCKET ON BETHENNY'S DIVORCE

PART 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/lv/podcast/bethennys-divorce-it-just-goes-on-and-on-my-friend-pt-i/id1549568903?i=1000579166591

PART 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bethennys-divorce-it-just-goes-on-and-on-my-friend-pt-ii/id1549568903?i=1000580622246

You may *eventually* be able to see her previous videos below.

MY TEN YEAR DIVORCE ON A 2 YEAR MARRIAGE

https://youtu.be/zvGwNyQ5mgA?si=4Agfq-jhMTI-lTeE

PART ONE  CHARMING IS A RED FLAG

https://youtu.be/2FxZ52LB9MM?si=d9aEIR6ZUBgkOMT1

RESOURCES

- CNN article on the research: https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/12/health/early-signs-of-intimate-partner-violence-wellness/index.html

- The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474

- The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or online.rainn.org

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniroberts/

https://www.instagram.com/audaciouslife

https://www.pinterest.com/Audaciousmamas/

https://www.instagram.com/audaciousmamas

THE AUDACIOUS LIFE PODCAST

https://www.theaudaciouslife.com/

THE AUDACIOUS MAMAS SHOW

https://www.audaciousmamas.com/

WANT TO BE A GUEST ON PODCASTS?

Check out my free lesson to learn about the power of podcast guest appearances to build an audience, amplify your authority, and build your brand while growing your email list with warm leads.

Bethenny Frankel's Messy 10-Year Divorce - She's Sharing So We Can Learn

As a longtime fan of Bethenny Frankel, I've been waiting for her to share more about her relationship with her former husband and father of their daughter, Bryn.   As outspoken as she is, she clearly had a gag order in place for many years. And she now considers herself an "expert on Divorce" as she  researched and dug deep to help her case.  I caught a YouTube Live with Bethenny sharing that she's decided to share the details of her divorce. And she aims to help other women! Imagine what Bethenny Frankel can do to spread awareness around narcissism and post-separation abuse, including family court corruption.  She's a black belt in verbal jujitsu and can sling memorable one-liners effortlessly. Her impact WILL BE FELT. I immediately recorded this after watching, and she went live again today before I could get this out.  You can catch her previous videos below. Please do go and subscribe, and remember to click the bell so you'll be notified when she goes live or shares. It seems like she's on a roll, so we can expect more. And SHARE with other women!!

Fueling Healthy Thoughts: Overcoming Darkness and Transformative Resilience

In this episode I have some raw and vulnerable moments about this year and reflect on what I believe I need to work on with my own stinkin' thinkin'. Being more intentional with what we feed our minds is essential in turning things around, creating hope in our lives, and being a light in the darkness.  It was recorded on MLK Day and I was inspired by his memory and his ability to be the man outside the box pushing through oppressive norms and spurring on all people of color to dare to dream bigger, and believe that more is possible. Here's a run down of this episode

• Reflecting on the challenges of the past year and the struggle to maintain balance in life.
• Drawing inspiration from Martin Luther King Jr. and the power of intention.

Connecting with the Audience:

• Acknowledging the shared difficulties many face, emphasizing the feeling of being overwhelmed.
• Encouraging listeners not to feel alone in their struggles.

The Four Nutriments:

• Exploring Thich Nhat Hanh's concept of the four nutrients (Edible food, Sense impressions, Volition, and Consciousness).
• Emphasizing the importance of identifying sources of suffering and finding peace and joy.

Navigating Personal Struggles:

• Sharing personal struggles with podcasting, career decisions, and the challenges of parenting.
• Expressing empathy for those facing overwhelming situations and the difficulty of finding options.

MLK Day Reflection:

• Reflecting on personal connection to Martin Luther King Jr. and the power of intention in creating positive change.
• Mentioning the influence of spoken words, particularly MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech.

Coping Strategies and Tools:

• Introducing coping strategies, including mindful eating and being aware of sense impressions.
• Discussing the impact of volition on happiness and the importance of cultivating healthy desires.
• Addressing the role of consciousness in transforming painful events and finding enlightenment.

Focusing on Healing and Positivity:

• Highlighting the challenge of podcasting about abuse without inadvertently perpetuating negativity.
• Exploring the power of focus and intention in creating positive change.
• Expressing a desire to shift the podcast's focus towards healing, love, peace, and thriving.

Inviting Positive Stories:

• Sharing the intention to invite guests who have overcome darkness and transformed their lives.
• Expressing the need for positive role models and stories of turning life around.
• Acknowledging personal challenges and the importance of collective healing.

Closing Thoughts:

• Offering tools for managing anxiety and promoting well-being, including heart math techniques and grounding practices.
• Sending love, hope, and thoughts for a brighter future to the listeners.
• Encouraging subscriptions, reviews, and engagement to build a community focused on healing. Mentioned in this episode: Thich Nhat Hahn's "How to Focus" beautiful book. Inner Balance Heart Math App for heart brain coherence and learning to ground and become less anxious. And help the collective energy of your family, home, town, the World. Earthing, grounding mat for grounding while indoors. Just plug it into a grounded outlet. I use mine near my desk for my feet while working and under my sheets so I can ground while sleeping. Amazing!! DISCLAIMER: This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no cost to you if you purchase through a link here. I would never recommend a product I don't use or love myself!     Thanks for tuning in! Sending lots of Love and wishes for a healthy 2024!  

New Study Uncovers the 16 Early Warnings Signs of Emotionally Abusive Partners In this episode, I dive into brand new research that pinpoints behaviors you should look out for early on in a romantic relationship that could indicate your partner has the potential for emotional abuse, physical violence, and controlling tactics down the road.

The study comes from the University of Western Ontario in Canada, with the goal of uncovering what factors accurately predict if intimate partner violence is likely.

I share the 16 predictors the researchers identified - ranging from pressuring you into sex to creating uncomfortable public situations. A few stand out as being particularly concerning if they happen early in dating.

Some of the key signs to pay attention to:

• Your partner blames their ex for everything
• You feel you can't say no because your partner reacts negatively
• Your partner refuses to admit fault or take responsibility
• You have trouble focusing at work because your relationship consumes your thoughts

The more of these that you notice, the higher likelihood of future abuse in the relationship. While a few issues here and there can potentially be worked on, a pattern of multiple signs is a red flag.

I also discuss talking to your teenagers about healthy and unhealthy behaviors in both friendships and dating relationships. Getting this information early helps them identify poor treatment before it becomes normalized in their relationships.

Resources:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474
• The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or online.rainn.org
• CNN article on the research: https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/12/health/early-signs-of-intimate-partner-violence-wellness/index.html

Check out the YouTube Channel

How to get more of Lundy Bancroft? That's one of the most common questions I get. People often ask where Lundy Bancroft is and they want more access to his work. Lundy has a program called the Peak Living Network (PLN) that helps with emotional healing and recovery.  And as a gesture of support through this holiday season and into the New Year, I want to share some of the best places to find Lundy and possibly be trained by Lundy in his Peak Living Network for emotional healing.  I was in his PLN program and found it incredibly beneficial. If you join now you may be approved and able to start learning ways to connect with others in a safe way, virtually and in-person. Peak Living Network (PLN) - https://peaklivingnetwork.org - Based on Lundy's book "The Joyous Recovery." - Involves co-counseling sessions in groups or pairs to share and process emotions. - Not a substitute for therapy but can be a helpful adjunct. - An option if you can't afford therapy or are waiting to access it. - Requires some training first before joining the network. - International network with an online option. Other Ways to Connect with Lundy - https://lundybancroft.com has his books, articles, resources lists etc. - Active Facebook page with over 23k followers.   / lundybancroft   - Mentions upcoming events, podcast interviews etc. - HelpGuide.org has resources on abusive relationships. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ab...  - Consider joining Peak Living Network for more direct contact with Lundy. - Check his website and Facebook page for updates. - Provide suggestions for other content from Lundy eg podcast, YouTube channel. Check out my FREE video Lesson and get the pitch sheet. ➡︎ https://bit.ly/pod-lesson Check out The Audacious Mamas Podcast website and blog ➡︎ http://audaciousmamas.com Check out The Audacious Life Podcast website and blog ➡︎ http://theaudaciouslife.com  Learn more at http://audaciousmamas.com

Why Become an Entrepreneur as a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse? In this podcast episode, Steph discusses the advantages of entrepreneurship for mothers who have survived narcissistic or toxic abuse. Steph shares that being an entrepreneur provides a sense of independence and control, which is empowering after experiencing control in a previous relationship. Starting a business can rebuild confidence, provide a sense of purpose, and connect survivors with others. When you're rebuilding your identity and starting over this infuses you with confidence. Flexibility is another advantage of entrepreneurship, allowing mothers to create a schedule that works for them and their families. Financial stability is also a benefit, although it may not be financially feasible in the beginning.  Steph encourages listeners to take advantage of free resources for coaching and building your business, as well as leveraging highly targeted podcasts, to build your brand and attract customers. Overall, entrepreneurship can provide a fresh start and a way for survivors to take control of their future and work toward their dreams. Check out the Audacious Mamas podcast and join the email list to be the first to learn more about the community, support for your dreams, the mindset and spiritual work required, and learn valuable skills to build and scale your business or income stream as a side hustle.  https://www.audaciousmamas.com/podcast Here's a breakdown of the reasons why there are so many advantages for moms and parents who are starting over.

• Being an entrepreneur provides a sense of independence and control, which can be empowering after experiencing control in a previous relationship.
• Starting a business can rebuild confidence, provide a sense of purpose, and connect survivors with others.
• Create a new positive identity with a purpose to build confidence and hope for your future.
• Flexibility is another advantage of entrepreneurship, allowing mothers to create a schedule that works for them and their families.
• Financial stability is a benefit, although it may not be financially feasible in the beginning.
• There are loads of free resources, such as highly targeted podcasts, to build your  brand and attract customers.
• Overall, entrepreneurship can provide a fresh start and a way for survivors to take control of their future.

What about you? Have you thought about building a business?  I would love to hear your thoughts. Leave me a comment or reach out directly at steph at stephaniroberts.com Thanks for listening! Cheering you on! xoxo!! Steph

Hello! I hope you're well and caring for yourself through this emotionally turbulent time. In this episode, I'm letting you know where I am with the podcast and my current goals as I manage major life challenges with my children and, like everyone else, do my best to keep my chin up in the midst of life.

I'm sharing that I'm shifting a bit to focus on my other podcast, Audacious Mamas, to help ambitious single moms survivors of narcissistic abuse who are creating businesses and additional income streams. I'll interview people and share content on branding, visibility, mindset, spirituality, self-care, mental health, and more. If this is YOU, please reach out via my guest form so we can connect. I'd love to have you on the podcast to share your story and your business! Seriously, don't second guess it, reach out! :-)

In this episode I'm curating a few things that I found helpful, writing and an interview that's super insightful. First, a piece of writing from Joanne Sacred Scribes about a spiritual awakening that's relevant if you feel yourself changing your interests, your moods, connection to spirit, connection to others, things you're noticing in your daily life and noticing them in ways that make you feel "different" or like you're just not yourself. 

Yes, some of this can be depression or something related to stress, but many are feeling something deeper and more all-encompassing. And if you've had depression, you'll know this feeling isn't quite the same because there are definite highs and bursts of inspiration mixed in with lows and emotional breakdowns among other things. I think she covers this topic in a nuanced way that's relatable..

Second, I'm sharing some nuggets from two of my favorite narcissist experts, Dr. Ramani Durvasula and Doctor Les Carter, aka Dr. C. They had an excellent discussion on Dr. Carter's Surviving Narcissism channel. They have some overlap but different approaches to narcissists and narcissistic recovery, and both are super valuable--check it out!

Breaking Free from a Narcissist with Dr. Ramani and Dr. Les Carter on the Surviving Narcissism channel

https://youtu.be/gc3PV--4cmw

Spiritual Awakening - from Joanne Sacred Scribes

http://psychicjoanne.blogspot.com/2009/08/spiritual-awakening.html

Check out the Audacious Mamas podcast for solo mom survivors and mompreneurs 

https://podfollow.com/1136848529

Helping single mompreneurs take control of their time & 

avoid burnout so they can become financially liberated.

The Audacious Mamas website - building this up to create a community, learning, and support!

https://www.audaciousmamas.com/

Places to find in-person connection if you're feeling disconnected and want to find more people who are like-minded and build your own tribe.

Meetup.com

https://www.meetup.com/

Eventbrite.com

https://www.eventbrite.com/

Thanks for listening! Lots of Love! xoxo!!

Steph

Hello, this week I'm talking about the mental cage we have in our minds. It's that thing that stops us from being our best selves, our true selves, from honoring the voice that was once there and was slowly eroded by the programming of toxic relationships, specifically those where coercive control and manipulation are at play.

One consistent pattern I've seen with myself and fellow survivors of emotional, financial, mental, or sexual and physical abuse. You finally get out of one of these relationships, and you're like, oh, I'm free! 

But you quickly realize you're NOT FREE because this experience built a cage in your mind through years of abuse, manipulation, and coercive control. 

In this episode, I share about an interview that lit a fire within me and helped me see this pattern and a way out that can help many of us over the long term. 

It's not a quick fix, and it's all about incremental change. Those 1% tweaks in our behavior trigger shifts in how we frame our lives. They're catalysts for more profound change, allowing us to create a new story and identity, breaking through the well-worn programming we may not even be aware of.

I'm speaking from the heart here, addressing many challenges in my life right now and doing my best to reframe all of it and move forward each day vs. seeing what didn't get done. We're so hard on ourselves even in a crisis, and it's destructive. But we can turn it around and create a new way of life.

Mentioned in this episode

Atomic Habits by James Cleary (the book on Amazon) https://amzn.to/3UR5nAZ

Atomic Habits by James Cleary (the book on Audible) https://amzn.to/3FkHfRA

Ed Mylett's interview with James Cleary (on YouTube) https://youtu.be/Kz0pNyS0plk

Read Coercive control: Harms to children | Coercive control in children's and mother's lives | Oxford Academic https://bit.ly/cc-harm

Domestic Violence Hotline in the US 800-799-7233  SMS: Text START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence

Interested in learning how to leverage podcast guesting for your business, service, or side hustle?

Check out the info video! https://youtu.be/LVQ5LgUyI5o

Hop on the early signup list! https://bit.ly/blessedguest Sending lots of Love and peace your way!! Thanks for listening!! Steph xoxo!!