The BPD Bunch

How do you actually build a sense of self with BPD?

In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Carys, Solène, André, and Katja continue the conversation on identity, this time focusing on what’s helped us move toward a more stable sense of self. Still through the lens of the Alternative Model for Personality Disorders (AMPD), we’re looking at identity as something you can actively shape over time.

Under the AMPD, difficulties with identity are considered part of impairments in self functioning, alongside self-direction. To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning: identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits, which we’ll be discussing in more detail later this season.

If you’ve ever felt empty, disconnected, or like you’re constantly reinventing yourself… this is the part where we talk about what starts to change that.

We talk about:

• how chronic emptiness and dissociation connect to identity

• relying on relationships or external validation to define who you are

• the difference between emptiness and boredom (and why that matters)

• finding purpose, values, and small anchors that make you feel more “real”

• learning who you are without labeling yourself as “broken”

• building identity through creativity, feedback, and lived experience

• integrating different parts of yourself instead of rejecting them

• why identity takes time and doesn’t form all at once

This is part of our Season 7 series where we’re breaking BPD down in a more real, human way while also connecting it to newer ways of understanding personality.

In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explained what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. If you missed them, check them out:

Part 1

Part 2

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🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨

🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________

About Us:

The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!

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Disclaimer:

This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

What does identity instability’s actually feel like in BPD?

In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Carys, Solène, André, and Katja, start looking at identity through the lens of the Alternative Model for Personality Disorders (AMPD). It’s a way of understanding BPD that focuses more on patterns and functioning, not just labels. Under the AMPD, difficulties with identity are considered part of impairments in self functioning, alongside self-direction. To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning: identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits, which we’ll be discussing in more detail later this season.

If you’ve ever had that “who even am I?” moment… yeah. This is that episode.

We talk about:

• what it’s like to feel like you don’t have a solid sense of self

• why you might feel like you don’t know who you are

• masking and becoming whoever you need to be to avoid rejection

• losing yourself in relationships, jobs, or even your diagnosis

• when BPD starts to feel like your whole identity

• how identity struggles show up in everyday life

This is part of our Season 7 series where we’re breaking BPD down in a more real, human way while also connecting it to newer ways of understanding personality.In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explained what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:

Part 1

Part 2

⸻

🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨

🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________

About Us:

The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!

________

Disclaimer:

This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

What does BPD actually look like in real life, and what does recovery really take?

In this episode of The BPD Bunch Brunch, Megan shares her lived experience with Borderline Personality Disorder, including identity struggles, painful relationships, self-deception, emotional chaos, and the communication skills that helped her heal. This is an honest conversation about BPD recovery, relationships, truth, and learning how to feel seen and heard.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What BPD actually felt like in everyday life

• Why relationships can feel impossible with BPD

• The role of self-deception in BPD

• What it means to “stop lying to yourself”

• A communication skill that helped improve relationships

• Why healing from BPD takes longer than people expect

• How pain can become something you use, not just survive

👇 Megan's podcast + socials below.

Podcast: https://istheremoreworld.com/

TikTok: @meganatullyInstagram: @meganatully

UPLOAD SCHEDULE UPDATE: BPD Bunch brunch episodes will now standalone from the season, and will be uploaded the first Sunday of every month!

🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Hey…

This isn’t the video we planned for today.

This past week, I lost my dog. And I needed a little more time than I expected to get back on my feet.

I thought about just skipping this upload entirely, but there was something in this experience that felt important to share. Especially when it comes to what recovery from BPD actually looks like in real life.

There’s this idea that recovery means things won’t hurt as much anymore. And I’ve found that it’s not exactly that simple.

A lot of emotional contexts can and do change drastically in recovery, and it's possible to get to a point that feels emotionally stable most of the time.

But one of the universal human truths is that if you care a lot about someone or some creature, losing them will be painful. No amount of recovery will erase the grief process. And there's nothing abnormal or disordered about you if you feel the pain of loss.

So this video is a bit different from the usual, it’s just where I’m at right now and something I didn’t think we talk about enough.

Thank you for being here, seriously. I’ll be back to our regular episodes next week.

If you do want the more in-depth version of what’s been going on, I shared that over on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/i-had-to-put-my-155040984(this one is available to free members as well!)

❤️ Xannie

_____🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

So… what even counts as “BPD” anymore?

Last week, we explored how the Alternative Model for Personality Disorders (AMPD) moves away from strict categories. This week, we’re taking it further:

What does BPD actually look like in this model, and do you even need the label at all?

We break down the core of BPD through self and interpersonal functioning, how traits shape the “borderline” pattern, and why diagnoses like BPD and NPD might not be as separate as people think.

If you’ve ever felt like the DSM didn’t fully capture your experience, this might hit differently.

This is Part 2 of a 2-part series.

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Featuring:

Dr. Carla Sharp — Clinical psychologist and Professor at the University of Houston. Director of the Developmental Psychopathology Lab, with a focus on personality disorders, mentalization, and adolescent development.

Dr. Frank Yeomans — Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College and Director of Training at the Personality Disorders Institute. Internationally recognized for his work in Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP).

Dr. Alex Stein — Clinical psychologist, researcher, and advocate known for her work on attachment patterns and “favorite person” relationships in BPD.

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Subscribe to see what these traits actually look like from a lived experience perspective!

🌟 Love what we do?

Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

________

About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!

________

Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

What if Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t just a checklist of symptoms?In this episode of The BPD Bunch, we explore the Alternative Model for Personality Disorders (AMPD), a framework that shifts how we understand BPD from a set of categories to patterns of functioning, severity, and relationships.Joined by leading clinicians in the field, we break down what’s changing, why it matters, and how this model could reshape diagnosis, treatment, and stigma.This is Part 1 of a 2-part series.⸻Featuring:Dr. Carla Sharp — Clinical psychologist and Professor at the University of Houston. Director of the Developmental Psychopathology Lab, with a focus on personality disorders, mentalization, and adolescent development.Dr. Frank Yeomans — Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College and Director of Training at the Personality Disorders Institute. Internationally recognized for his work in Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP).Dr. Alex Stein — Clinical psychologist, researcher, and advocate known for her work on attachment patterns and “favorite person” relationships in BPD.⸻Subscribe for Part 2 where we break down what BPD actually looks like under this model.🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

What happens when grief, trauma, and misdiagnosis collide, and it turns out to be BPD?

Shaharin shares her story of being sexually assaulted, losing her marriage, struggling with rejection sensitivity, and finally receiving a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) diagnosis after years of confusion.

We talk about:

• Being misdiagnosed with grief instead of BPD

• Emotional abuse after a mental health diagnosis

• Rejection sensitivity and losing long-term friendships

• Dating again after divorce with BPD

• DBT therapy and real recovery

• Turning intense emotions into creativity and purpose

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” misunderstood, or ashamed of how deeply you feel, this episode is for you.

BPD recovery is possible. And this conversation proves it.

👇 Shaharin’s book + socials below.

TikTok: @shaharin.aura

Instagram: @theshaharinaura

The Girl Baba Left Behind: https://a.co/d/h953q4LUPLOAD SCHEDULE UPDATE: BPD Bunch brunch episodes will now standalone from the season, and will be uploaded the first Sunday of every month! 🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie and Carys chat with Katja about publishing her first book “Sorry, My Mental Illness Isn’t Sexy Enough for You”, going straight for the parts of BPD people never say out loud: shame, “unsexy” symptoms, misdiagnosis, self-sabotage, and why BPD can look totally different from person to person (quiet vs loud presentations, comorbidities, and stigma).

If you’ve ever felt like “I don’t look like the BPD stereotype”… this one might feel like a hug.

Here's a quote from co-cauthor Kay on why she wrote the book:

"Sorry my mental illness isn’t sexy enough for you, started out as the title of a blog I wanted to write after witnessing first-hand the difficulties of having mental illness, lack of support and the prevalence of poor treatment. Naturally, I wanted to make a difference but being unwell, combined with my human nature of not being a starter finisher, it lived as an idea in my head for a while. Then came along came Katja with this amazing idea of launching our own mental health project using the name, which is the website we know and love today. If you had told me our little project would be as successful as it has been and that we would be publishing our first book because of it, I would have laughed, but here we are. I’m so incredibly lucky to have been given this opportunity to achieve my wildest dream, and to achieve it with my best friend. Asking why I wrote the book is multifaceted, since the age of 14 I have been involved in Mental Health Activism with the purpose of reducing suffering in people who experience mental health difficulties. I raised awareness in a variety of projects and focused on bringing together people with lived experience and services to work together to improve mental health services. I wanted the book to share my story so that others do not feel alone, and so that I could provide understanding and hope, and to talk about ways people can have agency over their own recovery. Mental illness can sometimes be seen as a moral failing, especially the ‘unsexy ones’ that we spend our days challenging. I absolutely feel called to break down this dangerous concept that divides people and communities. I didn't write the book to be cathartic, but I think the process has provided relief in some ways – taking painful and difficult experiences and turning them into something that can help others."

Buy the Book

What actually happens when a relationship involving Borderline Personality Disorder ends...

from the exes’ perspective?

In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie sits down with Katja, Raf, and their former partners, John and Danni - who are still in each other’s lives - to talk honestly about breakups, impulsivity, communication breakdowns, fear of abandonment, and what recovery actually looks like after the relationship ends.

This conversation explores:

– What ex-partners noticed (and didn’t notice) about BPD symptoms

– When “normal” behavior crosses into something harmful

– Why some breakups stay amicable, and others don’t

– The difference between blame and responsibility

– How insight, accountability, and communication change outcomes

If you live with BPD, or have loved someone who does, this episode offers nuance, compassion, and reality, not stereotypes.

UPLOAD SCHEDULE UPDATE: BPD Bunch brunch episodes will now standalone from the season, and will be uploaded the first Sunday of every month!
🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________EPISODE TERMS:Schizotypal Personality Disorder - is a mental health condition characterized by odd or eccentric behavior, unusual beliefs or thoughts, and difficulty forming close relationships. People with this disorder may have magical thinking, such as believing they have special powers or can predict the future, and they often feel uncomfortable in social situations. Their way of thinking and behaving can be different from what is considered typical, which can make it hard for them to connect with others.________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

The holidays can hit different when you’re living with Borderline Personality Disorder.In this impromptu holiday episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Georgette and Jack talk honestly about the parts of the season that are rarely acknowledged; financial stress, loneliness, family dynamics, oversharing, feeling “off” at gatherings, and the quiet grief of holidays not looking the way you wish they did.We also share what’s actually helped us get through it: neutral responses when people ask how you’re doing, finding small moments of joy, community rituals, opposite action, and learning how to stay present without forcing “holiday cheer.”If you’ve ever thought, “Why is this so hard for me when everyone else seems fine?” this conversation is for you.💛 Want more support?On our Patreon, you’ll find extended cuts, deleted scenes, exclusive episodes, and practical skills videos designed to help you navigate BPD in real life—not just survive it.👉 Join us on Patreon for deeper conversations and tools that help. https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch Leave your questions in the comments—we love answering them in future videos.________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.