The Couples Therapist Couch

Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We're bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back)

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017).

Her second book, about sexual self-awareness, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationship You Want, was published in February 2020. Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples, teaches and trains marriage and family therapy graduate students, and teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, "Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101."

Find out more at dralexandrasolomon.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship.

She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships.

Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom. Her blog posts, YouTube clips, books, trainings, workshops, and online courses have made her a popular go-to relationship consultant. Her work has been featured on TV, in cyberspace, and popular magazines, but she's also a distinguished professor, licensed marriage and family therapist, and long-standing clinical member and approved supervisor in American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Dr. Love (yes that is her real surname) has authored/co-authored six books, has written numerous professional publications, and has developed multiple training programs including Love Education™. Her work literally has taken her around the world to help people understand and improve their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Why do we love in the first place? Why do we choose the partners we choose? What happens in the brain when people fall in love? These are all questions that Helen Fisher has spent her career answering.

Helen E. Fisher, PhD is a biological anthropologist, and Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships-- what she calls: slow love.

Find out more about Helen Fisher at anatomyoflove.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues.

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books:

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness?

These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going through in a way that gives them hope.

That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked below. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut.

Check out Dr. Spring's website at janisaspring.com

Books

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients.

Laura is a badass business coach and you can get tons of great information and resources from her website: yourbadasstherapypractice.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Kine Corder talks about removing blocks to success, particularly stress. We talk all about money, marriage and maturing.

Kine Corder helps people who have achieved success by society's standards, but still feel that they are missing something. She has a podcast called the Love and Money podcast, is a best selling author, psychotherapist, and international speaker.

Find out more about Kine at kinecorder.com

Take the Money Mentality quiz that Kine created

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginning of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time.

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.

Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

Find out more about Sue at drsuejohnson.com

Find out more about EFT trainings at iceeft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience.

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.