The Courageous Life

What does it mean to live a 'good life'?

For centuries philosophers, theologians, and psychologists have explored this question.

Arguing primarily that there are two distinct paths to living well.

The first might be casually thought of as sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Choosing pleasure as our primary pursuit - building our life around a simple equation:

The more pleasant experiences we have, the better life is.

The second path is the pursuit of a meaningful life. Choosing to craft our lives, and our work in ways that lead to a greater sense of purpose, and fulfillment.

The reality is, there are strong arguments behind the benefits of taking either path,

And when you combine the two it may be an even more potent recipe for a life well lived.

But what if these answers are incomplete?

If all we need is more happiness or meaning, why aren’t more of us achieving that truly “good” life?

Today's guest, Philosopher and popular Middlebury professor Dr. Lorraine Besser is shedding light on the missing third piece in our search for the Good Life—

what researchers refer to as psychological richness.

And what Lorraine calls The Interesting.

In today’s conversation we will take a deep dive into Lorraine’s work and her beautiful new book - The Art of the Interesting: What We Miss in Our Pursuit of the Good Life and How to Cultivate It,

We’ll explore how interesting experiences captivate our minds, engage our thoughts and emotions, and often change our perspective.   

And how ultimately when we choose to take the path of interesting experiences we live a fuller and more satisfying life. 

For more on Lorraine, and The Art of the Interesting, please visit Lorrainebesser.com

Did you find today's episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• Neuroscience, Spirituality, and the Quest for an Inspired Life | Dr. Lisa Miller
• Pride: Is the Deadliest Sin the Secret to Success? | Dr. Jessica Tracy

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What if the time is never coming when you’re ‘on top of things’, or finally feel like you know what you’re doing?

For years, New York Times Bestselling author Oliver Burkeman has dared to ask provocative questions like these.

The sort of questions that invite us to examine popular cultural views about what it means to work and live well.

In his beautiful and brilliant books, his longtime column in the Guardian, and other writings,

Oliver has been a leading voice helping to unravel myths about the often celebrated idea that we can 'do it all'.

Rather than chasing perfectionism he invites us to embrace our imperfections,

To confront our mortality,

and to explore deeper questions about what matters, and what will bring us fully alive in the brief time we’re here.

In today's conversation we’ll thoroughly explore how and why imperfectionism may actually be the path to experiencing a more meaningful, productive, absorbing and energizing life –

not later, but right here in the midst of the overwhelm, the distraction, and the anxiety-inducing news headlines.

For more on today's themes be sure to check out Oliver's profound new book, Meditations for Mortals, which you can pick up wherever books are sold. 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• The Life-Changing Power of Saying No | Dr. Vanessa Patrick
• Letting Go of Perfectionism and Finding Happiness | Tal Ben-Shahar

More about Oliver:

Oliver Burkeman is a best-selling author and keynote speaker. His books include Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, Four Thousand Weeks, as well as The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. For many years Oliver wrote a popular weekly column on psychology for the Guardian. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. For more please visit: Oliverburkeman.com

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Dr. Jonathan Fisher, is a Harvard educated cardiologist, a mindfulness teacher, and an outspoken leader passionate about helping to end the epidemic of clinician burnout in healthcare.
 
 In sharing his own story he writes:
 
 "I took care of 20,000 hearts before taking care of my own.
 
 For years, I hid my anxiety, depression, and burnout behind the facade of being a “perfect” doctor.
 
 That effort took a toll.
 
 So, I began a journey to understand true healing, health, and happiness.
 
 Along the way, I realized others were also seeking the same timeless practices that helped me thrive."

 Today, Jonathan is on the show, and will generously share some of that journey through:

• His expertise as a heart doctor, 
• His depth of insight gained both as a student and teacher of ancient wisdom practices like mindfulness and self-compassion,
• And his experiences of working through the process of burnout recovery and healing his own heart. 

This conversation sheds a light not only on the transformative power of opening the heart (on our health, our relationships, our work, and our lives broadly)
 
 But also on the courage it takes to do so. 
 
 Particularly when the world we find ourselves in can feel cold, and scary. 
 
 Jonathan is one of those courageous leaders who engages in the practice of opening the heart and invites us to do the same, 
 
 But, importantly, to do with skillful discernment. 
 
 Offering a reminder that courage and wisdom are two virtues that are often best paired together. 

I hope you enjoy the time with Jonathan as much as I did.
 
 Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love:

• The Art of Being Human at Work | Ali Schultz
• Strong Back, Soft Front - The Practice of a Lifetime | Elizabeth Lesser

 Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!
 
 About Jonathan:

Dr. Jonathan Fisher is a cardiologist who focuses on healing the heart in the broadest sense, encompassing both the physical and emotional aspects of cardiac care. Educated at Harvard and Mt. Sinai, he is a mindfulness meditation teacher and organizational well-being leader. Dr. Fisher has designed programs for an organization with 38,000 team members, reducing stress and enhancing well-being. He is the author of Just One Heart: A Cardiologist's Guide to Healing, Health, and Happiness. He has delivered keynotes, workshops, and retreats for organizations globally across various industries. His efforts in addressing burnout in healthcare, including co-hosting the Ending Clinician Burnout Global Summit, have garnered international attention. For more, please visit: drjonathanfisher.com

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Today's practice features guest teacher Amy Dong.

Amy is a talented therapist, and a breath work facilitator, who specializes in helping both individuals and couples to find steady footing through life’s inevitable twists & turns.

She’s also the author of a beautiful sub stack called The Softening.

Which she describes as a walk through our internal landscape, a journey with mental health and well-being in long form.

In our most recent Courageous Life episode, Amy joined me in conversation as we dove headfirst into the topic of uncertainty and the possibility of opening and softening as we learn to let go, surrender, and trust ourselves.

Today's practice builds on that conversation as Amy will invite you to explore a powerful blend of progressive muscle relaxation and breathwork.

The intention is to notice where we’re holding tension, physically and metaphorically, and pausing to release.

Please note: if you’re pregnant, it’s not advised to do the breath holds.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Amy (if you haven't already):

• Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear | Amy Dong

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge, The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge and the brand NEW Creativity Challenge.
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show

Our 20’s are a unique season in our lives. 

While often romanticized as a decade that should be a high point

It’s a time often fraught with major life transitions

From leaving the familiar rhythms of school

Which so many of us have known since early childhood

To (for many of us) entering the work force full time, for the first time

To shifts in meaningful relationships, and our sense of community as we say goodbye to good friends, move to pursue jobs, and travel down different paths. 

The variety of these transitions is connected by our shared underlying experience of uncertainty as we navigate uncharted territory.

This familiar experience brings up important questions:

• What does it mean to live well in our 20’s? 
• And how might we do so practically?

Which are at the heart of our exploration in a new 3-episode mini series that shines a light on our 20’s and the possibility of making the most of this decade. 

Each episode will invite you into an intimate and thought-provoking conversation with amazing guests who will offer up: 

• Powerful insights
• Tool sand practices
• Research 
• And some of their own stories about navigating uncertainty and answering some of the prickly existential questions that begin to surface in early adulthood.

Last week we kicked things off with Dr. Meg Jay.

Meg is a therapist and bestselling author who a recent New York Times profile called “the patron saint of striving youth” 

Her TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” is among the most watched ever. 

If you haven’t already I would encourage you to go back and tune in to that conversation as it complements this episode beautifully. You can find it here:

Today, Amy Dong is back on the show. 

Amy is a talented therapist, and a breath work facilitator, who specializes in helping both individuals and couples to find steady footing through life’s inevitable twists & turns.

She’s also the author of a beautiful sub stack called The Softening.

Which she describes as a walk through our internal landscape, a journey with mental health and well-being in long form.

Amy's work is informed by her own depth of practice, and courageous experiments in living fully, as she embraces all aspects of what it means to be human. 

And she’s in her 20’s and works with many clients in their 20’s so the perspective she brings is quite unique, and I think you’ll find it both interesting and valuable as she shares her own stories, as well as tools and practices that have helped the people and communities she serves.

In today's episode: 

Amy and I will dive headfirst into the topic of uncertainty and the possibility of opening and softening as we learn to let go, surrender, and trust ourselves. 

• We’ll talk about the power of embracing curiosity, 
• The subtle and difficult art of slowing down, 
• and why everything we want may be on the other side of fear. 

This was a powerful conversation, and I hope you enjoy the time with Amy as much as I did.

Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love: 

• A Revolutionary Remedy for Uncertainty - In Our 20's and Beyond | Dr. Meg Jay

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Thanks for listening!

Support the show

This past week clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Meg Jay was back on the show. 

One of the big themes we explored together was uncertainty,

And how we can experience more ease in the face of it. 

Meg offered a useful reminder that when we experience uncertainty 

research shows that our amygdala becomes more active.  

The amygdala being the part of the brain that is often casually referred to as the "alarm bell."

Simply put, when things are uncertain we don't tend to like it very much.

• We want a plan.
• We want to feel like we are in control.
• We want to know.
• We want answers. 

Part of the reason for this is that sitting in uncertainty can feel vulnerable,

And by definition when we are vulnerable we are more susceptible to harm,

and more open to attacks.

As a result our body and mind have evolved to respond to uncertainty accordingly.

Our perspective can narrow.

The mind can race.

Our heart rate can increase, and we can become more contracted as we enter into a 'threat state'.

Knowing this can be helpful in that it gives us greater awareness.

But what’s even more helpful (at least in my view) is using that awareness to explore ways we can strengthen our ability to relax into uncertainty.

To explore ways we can find ease in not knowing as we learn to make friends with uncertainty.

This is like a superpower for our time. 

Today’s practice will offer up a couple of ideas for how to practically grow this capacity in ourselves.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Meg Jay (if you haven't already):

• A Revolutionary Remedy for Uncertainty -In Our 20's and Beyond - Dr. Meg Jay

Or  pick up a copy of her book: The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• LIVE 6 Week Training in Positive Neuroplasticity with Joshua (begins October 5th, 2024)
• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge, The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge and the brand NEW Creativity Challenge.
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show

Our 20’s are a unique season in our lives. 

While often romanticized as a decade that should be a high point, 

they are an age marked by uncertainty and major life transitions. 

From leaving the familiar rhythms of school,

To (for many) entering the work force full time, for the first time.

To experiencing changes in meaningful relationships, friendships, and our community. 

And as part of this there’s the big questions that begin to arise:

• What do you want to do with your life?
• Who do you want to be?
• Are you dating? Are you in love? Will you get married?
• Are you happy?

And sometimes it can feel like not only do we need to have the answers, but we need to have them quickly. 

This episode is the first in a new mini-series that will shine a light on this unique decade of life, ideas for how to approach the big questions, the possibility of relaxing into uncertainty, and even thriving in the process. 

Over the next 3 Wednesdays you’ll be exposed to powerful insights, practices, tools, and stories that hone in on:

• Navigating uncertainty
• Making major life transitions
• And answering some of the prickly existential questions that begin to surface in early adulthood.

Today, we are thrilled to kick these conversations off with one of the world's leading experts in this space, Dr. Meg Jay.

Meg is a therapist and bestselling author who a recent New York Times profile called “the patron saint of striving youth.” 

Her TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” is among the most watched to-date. 

And her books have changed the way millions of twentysomethings think about their twenties—and themselves. 

During our time together Meg and I will explore: 

• Some of the greatest lessons and insights she's gained from her work with thousands of clients and students
• Fascinating highlights from the latest science of the twentysomething years, including what we get wrong about the twenties, and the unique opportunities and challenges during this time.
• Powerful stories of behind-closed-doors therapy sessions with her twentysomething clients. 
• The possibility of relaxing into uncertainty, and getting excited about positive possibilities. 
• The importance of building skills and gaining experiences that give us "identity capital"
• The power of acceptance and curiosity in the face of change and transition
• Letting go of the need to find answers, and the practice of "living the questions"
• Tools and practices intended to help us make the most of our 20's - “The Defining Decade” of our lives. 
  
  

I hope you enjoy the time with Meg as much as I did.

And if you know someone who might benefit from this conversation, please share!

More about Meg:

Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is the author of The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age, the cult classic The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now and Supernormal: The Secret World of the Family Hero. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and her work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review and on NPR, BBC and—maybe most important for her audience—TikTok. For more, check out megjay.com

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To fail is human.

It’s built into our experience from childhood.

We begin to walk and we fall.

We begin a project, we work toward a goal, or we start a business and we may fail.

We experience these moments -

• When we are engaged in learning, 
• When we are moving toward something we care about 

And we come up short.

And in these moments there is an opportunity for practice -

Learning to relate to these moments from a place curiosity, care, and compassion (vs. criticism, blame, and judgment).

In my recent conversation with Amy Edmondson we dove into the topic of failure and explored this opportunity under the backdrop of larger questions:

How do we stay open to learning in the face of failure?

How do we stay open in the moments where we come up short?

Today’s practice (which is being re-released) offers some options for opening that build upon the conversation with Amy and the insights that came out of it, including:

An invitation to slow down

To breathe deeply

And to make an intentional shift to curiosity, awareness, and compassion.

When you do, it may just open up more opportunities for learning, growth, and getting better next time.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Amy Edmondson (if you haven't already):

• Meeting Failure with Curiosity and Compassion | Dr. Amy Edmondson

Or  pick up a copy of her book: Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• LIVE 6 Week Training in Positive Neuroplasticity with Joshua (begins October 5th, 2024)
• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge, The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge and the brand NEW Creativity Challenge.
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

-Abraham Maslow

What is it that empowers people to make this choice?

To be bold enough to step forward into fear as they move toward purpose, and transcendence?

These questions are at the heart of today’s conversation with Dr. Jordyn Feingold.

Jordyn is a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, a researcher, and a positive psychology practitioner who focuses on bringing the work of self-actualization to patients and clinicians around the world.

Jordyn's work is in part inspired by Abraham Maslow and other prominent psychologists who were at the forefront of the human potential movement in the 1950’s, 60's, and beyond.

Today Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, (Jordyn's mentor, co-author, and collaborator), is in many ways carrying this work forward.

Following in Maslow's footsteps Scott is pushing the science of self-actualization into new frontiers as author of the bestselling book Transcend and founder of the Center for Human Potential where he and Jordyn have worked closely together. Jordyn is part of the Center's Senior Leadership team, and is also a member of the founding faculty.

In this episode Jordyn and I will dive deep into the topic of growth and themes related to human potential which she and Scott explore throughout their beautiful book: Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt.

I hope you enjoy the time with Jordyn as much as I did!

Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love:

• The New Science of Self-Actualization | Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman
• Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity | Mark Nepo  

About Jordyn:

Jordyn H. Feingold graduated from adult psychiatry residency in 2024, and is now a Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Fellow. She's also well-being researcher, and positive psychology practitioner. She graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with her BA and Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) and received her MD from the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. She is also a founder of the emerging field of Positive Medicine. Learn more about Jordyn at centerforhumanpotential.com

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Thanks for listening!

Support the show

One of the highlights of this season on the Courageous Life has been expanding the show with a new series that features inspiring stories of everyday heroes and the helpers who walk beside them.

One of these helpers conversations featured Amy Dong.

Amy is a talented therapist and a breathwork facilitator.

During our conversation she offered a window into her work and how she walks beside people on their journey in therapy,

where one of her core areas of focus is helping people learn fundamental practices that can help regulate their nervous system in ways that lead to:

• Greater wellbeing
• An increased sense of agency
• And the possibility of experiencing inner peace amidst the everyday hustle. 

For today's Practicing Courage episode I asked Amy if she would be willing to record a brief practice along these lines that we could share here.

She agreed.

And here we are.

I hope you enjoy this brief time with Amy and find that what she offers creates a restful pause in the midst of your day.

More from Amy:

• Heroes and Helpers #4 - Embracing the journey from 'doing' to 'being' with Amy Dong

Thank you for your practice today.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• LIVE 6 Week Training in Positive Neuroplasticity with Joshua (begins October 5th, 2024)
• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge, The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge and the brand NEW Creativity Challenge.
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show