Today’s guest Dave shares his enjoyment is trimming the bushes in front of his house because now it is HIS house. After going through over two years of the divorce process, he finds peace for himself and his kids. He admits that it is incredibly difficult to celebrate this as he is flooded with sadness at the trajectory of his marriage. At the same time, though, he chooses to embrace the quiet peacefulness of his home.

The CNG group coaching session was pivotal for him. He began these groups just as he was beginning his discovery of covert narcissism and continued through much of his divorce process. During this time, he discovered the incredible value in helping others who are living this. As you are removed from the emotional heaviness of someone else’s situation, gaining perspective on their situation is easier to do. At the same time, it helps you to see your own situation in a new light.

For more information on the CNG group coaching sessions, please visit www.covertnarcissism.com

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Welcome back. I am again talking about covert narcissism, and in specific, parenting with a partner who is showing the traits of covert narcissism. These kids go through a lot. Everyone has wounds from childhood. This is true. But the more educated we can become about the types of wounds and specific nature of the wounds, the better we are able to heal our own wounds and also the better we are able to help our children.

I cannot express enough how important it is to live a life of growth, recovery, healing, self-reflection, accountability, vulnerability in front of your kids. Children learn by mimicking those around them. They copy behaviors to find what works for them and what doesn’t. 

So in this situation, you already have one parent who is manipulative, coercive, controlling, passive aggressive, hyper sensitive, overly reactive, and taking no personal responsibility. Often in these homes, the non-narcissistic parent over-compensates. We try to control what our kids see and experience. We try to fix everything. We try to deny the reality that they are already living with the narcissistic parent in an effort to protect them from it. We try to be “perfect” for them.

What we are missing though is that our kids don’t need perfect, they need human!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Memories can absolutely haunt victims of covert narcissistic abuse for years!! They trigger us, causing massive internal reactions. Anxiety, tension, pain in the gut, shaking, twitching, upset stomach, increased blood pressure and heart rate, panic attacks, and so on.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Covert narcissistic parenting has a massive effect on our children! It leaves gaping holes in their development, which can haunt them for the rest of their lives. And they have NO clue in the early years. They don’t see the abuse in those really young ages, but they certainly feel it.

Kids aren’t stupid, They know how they feel. They experience their feelings, even if they can’t verbalize them yet. They know when they feel loved and when they don’t. They know when they feel accepted and validated and when they don’t. But they are missing one key ability, the ability to lay blame where blame belongs.

There seems to be a pre-written script that will play out in most of these kids' lives, if not all. They will blame themselves, and this self-blame is so incredibly damaging!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

I'm drowning in a world of narcissism. I think about it the minute I wake up, all day long, and the last thought before I fall asleep. It is all consuming. Never in my life have I ever absorbed as much information as I have on covert narcissism. I have watched every video, read every book, listened to every podcast, talked to anyone who would listen. 

I just can't think about this any longer. Not one more thought. I just don't have it in me. I have nothing left! I can’t read another word! I have no room left in my brain. No space for one single thought more. It’s full. I’m full. I’m done. I need a break! But how? I don’t even know how to stop thinking about it, about him, about the abusive behaviors, the why, the how, the kids, the effects. How do I turn my brain off for a while?

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

"I am the mom! I know everything and am right about everything."

"I am the dad! I know how to handle life. Don’t tell me what to do."

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Kathleen bought into the sales pitch of the top notch salesman. He sold himself to her with great sales pitches, carrying the "same" interests, beliefs and values. He seemed so caring and altruistic. She thought, "Wow, this is a prince of a guy." As time went by, she came to the realization that, like his job, she was simply another conquest for him. He was not the guy she thought he was. 

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

“I divorced a narcissist 10 years ago and now I am married to another one! How in the world did that happen??”

I have talked to so many people who have gone from one narcissistic relationship to another. Finally divorced one narcissist only to find themselves in a relationship with yet another one. For some this may even be a lifetime of many narcissistic relationships. The thought of being trapped in another relationship with a narcissist is terrifying!

How do I keep this from happening? Do I just need to stay single for the rest of my life? How will I ever know that they are not a narcissist, especially when I never saw the covert narcissist that was right in front of me?

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

When dealing with covert narcissism, it is so difficult to give yourself permission to set boundaries, physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. Yet those boundaries are so vitally important! Within those boundaries comes healing and hope!

Learning the signs of narcissistic mirroring gives you the knowledge you need to keep from being hooked by it. Victim switching, inconsistencies in their behaviors, lack of self and fast intense connections are all things to watch out for. Learn what to do when you see signs of mirroring to help build healthier relationships. Build your own sense of self and get back in touch with your own intuition. Prioritize your self care and set healthy boundaries around who you are. Your own strong and healthy sense of self is the beautiful YOU!