The Date Brazen Podcast

Ready to stop emotional outsourcing and start owning your worth in dating and beyond? If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or the exhausting cycle of codependency, this episode will feel like a deep exhale. Lily invites her brilliant friend and colleague, Victoria Albina, to explore what it takes to recognize the patterns that no longer serve you and break free from them—so you can finally show up as the main character in your life.

Through an intersectional feminist lens, Victoria redefines the trope of codependency as “emotional outsourcing,” helping us see how it impacts not just our relationships but how we exist in the world. Together, they explore how our nervous system shapes our sense of safety and belonging, offering practical tools for reconnecting with self-love and grounding in our voice and intentions.

We get into:

• How emotional outsourcing holds you back from being your authentic self
• The three essential emotional needs: safety, belonging, and worth
• An in-depth look at the nervous system and its role in fight, flight, fawn, and freeze responses
• Grounding techniques to help you reconnect with self-love and intention
• How to expand your capacity for feeling good, seen, and safe

Links: 

✨ Register for The Late Bloomer's Guide to a Confident Holiday Season

Victoria’s website

Victoria on Instagram 

Feminist Wellness

Free meditations from Victoria for Date Brazen Listeners: VictoriaAlbina.com/lily

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/healing-from-codependency-with-victoria-albina

I’m diving into how to care for yourself when life feels heavy. If you’re feeling drained or disappointed post-election—or really, after any tough experience—I’m here with a simple but powerful framework to help you reclaim your energy. In this episode, I’ll guide you through the SOFT practice: Self-compassion, Owning your needs, Feeling your feelings, and Thoughts, not facts. I’ll share practical tools, like Dr. Kristin Neff’s self-compassion meditation, to help you navigate challenging times with more grace. 

Whether it’s political stress or personal struggles, this episode is for anyone who needs a reminder that you deserve care, kindness, and support.

Links: Free 5-minute self-compassion medication from Dr. Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/

The Loveland Foundation: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/

We’re airing a popular episode about claiming your essence-based preferences. Lily takes you through what essence-based preferences are, how they can transform your dating life, how to know if you’re being too rigid, and how to create them for yourself. This is a juicy episode you’ll want to come back to again and again!

Hot-takes and How-tos from this episode:

• How do you know if you're being too "rigid"

• Essence-based preferences can apply to everything that you want

• Figure out how to get to the root of what you want by crafting your personal love-life vocabulary

Links: Main Character Dating (formerly Brazen Breakthrough)Episode 26: How to navigate money in your dating life Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

“Should I give them another chance, or should I ‘just know’ if they’re right?”

Hot take: The whole slow burn vs. spark debate might be keeping you from finding a meaningful connection. This episode challenges the idea that a romantic connection needs to fit neatly into a “slow burn” or “spark” to be worth pursuing.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✨ The pros and cons of Slow Burn vs. Spark—and why binaries rarely help in dating.

✨ Why curiosity is your best guide—offering a healthy middle ground that brings clarity without overthinking.

✨ When you’re just not feeling romantic interest? Bless and release without guilt!

✨ How to know what you want, trust your instincts, and choose curiosity over stressing about instant chemistry.

Get ready to reframe your approach to dating, focus on what matters, and let go of the pressure to decide if it’s a slow burn or a spark from the start. Let’s make dating feel lighter, more fun, and aligned with you!

Links: Pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold! Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/slowburn-vs-spark

How do you date with intention and authenticity during an election season? You’re in luck! Lily is back with a special episode all about dating during the election. She explores how to navigate the heightened political climate with a boundaried, agency-filled plan to attract people who truly align with your values. 

Lily also shares tips on crafting a profile that reflects your values, managing tough discussions on dates, and knowing when to "bless and release." Get ready to learn how to vet dates based on political beliefs, set firm boundaries, and confidently steer conversations.

You’ll learn:

• Understanding your boundaries and using essence-based preferences to define how you want to feel in a relationship
• How to incorporate your political values into your essence-based framework
• Best practices for bringing up politics in dating, including a reminder that “You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person.”
• Guidelines for dating during an election year, focusing on asking questions and prioritizing your emotional well-being
• Tips for including your political preferences in your dating profile
• Navigating heated political discussions during a date with grace

Links:

Pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold! 121. Dating Apps, AMA

135. How to create your essence-based preferences

162. The complete dating detox guide

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/dating-during-an-election

Playing the sidekick in your own life? Not it. Step into your power, claim your main character identity and start making bold moves today. Why not you? Lily is dishing all about main character energy—what it is, what happens when you're not living in it, and how to level up and claim your spotlight.

We’ve all been there—shrinking our desires because we fear being "too much" or worried about rejection. Or maybe you’re in that “good enough” life rut: a good job, good friends, good vacations... but deep down, you know you’re ready for great. This episode is all about ditching the people-pleasing and stepping into your main character era.

You’ll learn:

• What it really means to not be in main character energy
• The three essential main character skills: permission, self-trust, and massive messy action
• How to stop sidelining your needs and start taking up space
• Practical tips on how to use 10 seconds of courage to build that main character muscle

It’s not about being perfect. Even main characters make mistakes—but they’ve got the tools to get back up. So, give yourself permission to be a little messy and start owning your story today. 

Links: Applications are open for the Main Character Life Mastermind!140. My bless and release strategy for letting go216. Stop overthinking your love life decisions (and how to actually trust yourself)

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-build-main-character-identity

Ready to crush it and take your dreams to the next level? This episode is ALL about that! We’re diving into Laura’s epic journey of leveling up her life, how she tapped into her MCE (yep, Major Character Energy), and broke down her big dreams into totally doable, bite-sized steps. And guess what? It worked!

You’ll walk away feeling fired up, knowing that what you want is not only possible—it’s practically calling your name.  This is your sign. Time to hit play, step into your power and go after what you want.

We get into:

• Why action without community = dead-end vibes
• Laura’s raw, real talk on going through Main Character Life Mastermind during a tough time of grief
• How deep personal growth impacts everything, including your relationships
• The badass move from inaction to taking bold steps toward your biggest dreams
• Real talk: Confidence is EVERYTHING, and asking for what you want is the key to getting it
• How to create the support system you need to step onto that bigger stage in your life

Links: Applications are open for the Main Character Life Mastermind!Laura’s websiteLaura on Instagram: @cheekylamiki @dispatcheddivorcee

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/from-paralyzed-to-launching-her-dream-business-with-laura

Ready to stop playing small and start living big? This week, Mastermind client Katie shares how she embraced main character energy, stepped out of her comfort zone, and began living a joyful AF life! 

From ditching self-doubt to creating a social life that lights her up, Katie talks about the bold moves she made—like taking a sabbatical and going on solo adventures. It wasn’t easy, but she trusted herself enough to push past fear and take massive, rewarding actions.

We get into:

• Breaking out of your comfort zone and going after what you want
• Building joy and meaningful social connections
• The power of self-trust and why it’s okay to invest in yourself 
• Katie’s breakthrough journey and how she stopped playing small 

Don’t miss out on the chance to take control of your own story! Tune in and step into your main character energy. 

Links:

RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/comfort-zone-to-mce-with-katie

Do you feel like you're burning the candle at both ends with nothing left for yourself? In this bonus episode, Lily chats with Juliet, a client from the Main Character Energy Mastermind, about how she transformed her life by setting boundaries at work and making room for joy and meaningful connections.  

Juliet’s story is all about taking back control and living fully to share how stepping into her power completely flipped her life around. From feeling burned out and isolated to creating deep friendships and a fulfilling love life, Juliet’s transformation is nothing short of inspiring.

We get into:

• Truly believing in what you need and want unlocks the power to make aligned choices
• Identifying the key components and values of your ideal life is the first step toward living it
• How Juliet nurtured deeper connections with friends 
• Finding more space for joy within all facets of Juliet’s life 
• Overcoming internal criticism shifts your mindset from self-doubt to self-compassion
• Turning “dating sucks” into “I can make dating fun!” 

Links:

RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/from-burnout-to-boundaries-with-client-juliet

Are you stuck in a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt? Lily tackles exactly how you can break free from that mental loop. We dive into the real cost of overthinking—how it's draining your energy, wasting your time, and slowing down your life’s momentum.

Lily shares methods to help you stop doubting yourself and start building a rock-solid foundation of self-trust. By the end of the episode, you'll have a clear plan of action so you can confidently take bold steps toward the life you want, without the exhausting mental spirals.

What if overthinking was just a roadblock on your journey to becoming the main character in your own story? This is your invitation to shift into that energy, giving yourself permission to trust, transform, and take massive, messy action.

You’ll learn:

• How to recognize the signs that you may have a self-trust deficit and how it affects your daily life
• Why building self-trust, even imperfectly, is an essential step toward living a rich and fulfilling life
• The reasons behind why you struggle to trust yourself and how fear and past experiences may be holding you back
• That self-trust is a skill that takes time and practice to master
• How to build self-trust and confidently take action, leading to more clarity and control in your life

Links:

RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy

Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please

Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-trust-yourself