As a former employee of FranklinCovey (in my college years), I have always been fascinated by the work and thoughts of Stephen Covey. I am sure you have heard of him as the author of one of the most successful business books of all time, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Near the end of his life, he often wrote about the idea that your best work and life are ahead of you. He called it living a life in crescendo. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to feel like, after all the commercial success of his first book, he would never do anything at that level again. He takes on that question in a book he co-wrote with his daughter Cynthia Covey Haller that was recently published, titled “Live Life in Crescendo; Your Most Important Work is Always Ahead of You.” I tackle that same question on today’s podcast.

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY  “My best moments are always ahead!” “You can always contribute, no matter what stage of life you’re in.” “Do not allow others to define what success looks like for you.”

This week Dr. Bray is sharing the latest research to be published on the brain. We have heard much information about the harmful effects of inflammation on the body; Dr. Bray discusses new findings of inflammation on brain cognition.

Do you love your memories? Well, at least the good ones! Dr. Bray shares the latest research on what is occurring in the brain to enhance memory recall. Research has shown that emotion and memories are tied together, and the stronger the feeling is tagged with a memory, the easier it is to recall and remember.

Last, Dr. Bray discusses new findings on light-intensity exercise (just 6-9 minutes!) and its effect on your brain cognition. Think about brain breaks during the workday with light walking to increase your performance throughout the day.

You don’t want to miss this episode on your way to becoming a brain expert.

When discussing a decision with a client, I asked him what the motivating values were in his decision-making process.

“Money,” was his first response. “Not a value,” I responded.

“Promotion” came next. “Not a value,” I responded.

Then “decision-making power,” “Not a value,” I repeated.

Are we going through life mindlessly adopting the values of our friends, society, or even family? Are we daring to explore our values and what they mean to us personally, or are we running away in fear?

This week’s podcast deals with awakening or discovering your values and then utilizing those values for your life plan. Learn the neuroscience behind these activities, and why it is imperative you spend the necessary time aiming your life at something you might want versus the habit of what you are mindlessly doing. These two steps are the beginning of expanding your life to more fulfillment and meaning. This will be a topic you want to discuss at dinner! 

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “If you know what your values are, you will know what the right decision is for you.” “You don’t need to change everything, just make a few small changes, start there.” “Values are enduring, eternal guides to living. You cannot achieve a value, only manifest it daily.”

It feels good to have a friend, someone we can call, hang out with, and go to during difficult times.

Yet, it isn't easy to make friends in today’s environment. We hesitate when we contemplate taking actions that build friendship and directing such behaviors toward others. We worry that it will be awkward or that the person won’t really care about the gesture and will respond in kind.

This mismatch between our perception of how others act toward us and how we think others will perceive how we act toward them is created by our innate egocentricity. We get caught up in thinking about our thoughts; if we notice that we acted awkward during an interaction, we figure the other person noticed our awkwardness too. We struggle to step through our feelings to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes; if doing something doesn’t give us a sense of surprise, we can’t imagine the positive surprise it will create in someone else.

Reams of studies have been done on the human failure to read other people’s minds accurately. But our common weakness in perspective-taking is more than just a psychological curiosity. It affects our social life, demotivating us from doing the things that will help us develop richer and more positive connections with friends, family, and even strangers.

In today’s podcast, I will discuss nine research-established mental perceptions to be aware of. Understanding them will help you be more proactive and confident in social interactions, and keep in mind these important and overlooked truths: talking with others will go better than you think; people are less critical of you than you suppose; folks appreciate affirmation far more than you know.

**Brett & Kate McKay published an article on January 24, 2023, on ArtofManliness.com titled, “9 Mental Distortions That Are Sabotaging Your Social Life.” This was such a phenomenal article. I have used it for this podcast and added my thoughts.

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “People usually like you more than you think they do!” “Tell people how much you appreciate them, even the small things.”

I am amazed by how many brilliant people there are in the world; there is so much we can learn from others. In a recent article by Ryan Holiday (the host of the Daily Stoic Podcast), he shared life lessons he has learned from guests on his podcast. I liked the article so much I wanted to share some of the highlights with you and add my thoughts. As you listen to the 12 Life Lessons, choose one or two that you want to implement in 2023 to make this year better than last year. I hope the lessons spark your thinking and self-reflection. I also hope you are smarter and wiser than before you listened to the podcast!

** Dailystoic.com

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “If you want to have sustained excellence, you have to be able to rejuvenate.” “We need to know how to show up and how to solve problems when things are going well, when conditions aren’t perfect.” “Reading will change your life, and you DO have time!” “Life will never be fair.” “Your choices have meaning.”

There is exciting new research comparing exercise, mindfulness, and breathing to current drug treatments for anxiety. A research study in JAMA Psychiatry on November 9, 2022. The study provides evidence for clinicians, insurers, and healthcare systems to recommend, include and provide reimbursement for mindfulness-based stress reduction as an effective treatment for anxiety disorders. This is big news as the movement is becoming stronger to include mindfulness, breathing, and exercise programs to combat anxiety and depression versus immediately going to drug treatments. This is an episode you don’t want to miss. Be sure and consult a doctor before making any changes to your depression or anxiety treatments.

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “It is so important to do mindfulness techniques! You can do them any time.” “Getting out and exercising helps relieve anxiety.”

Dr. Bray discusses one of life’s big questions, “What should I do with my life?” Dr. Bray shares three additional insights on creating a meaningful and fulfilling life (and career!). Combining research, personal experience, and interviews with over 500 individuals, you will surely have an insight or two on the next steps you should take this week. What a perfect way to start 2023!

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “You need to have something real when the winds of life hit.” “You are of incalculable value! You have to push yourself to do hard things because you are great!” “Choose carefully what you put in your brain and what you learn.” “If you want to get smarter, exercise!”

One of the questions Dr. Bray is asked the most is, “What should I do with my life?” Dr. Bray answers that question by combining research, personal experience, and interviews with over 500 individuals. This information will wake you up, might make you a bit agitated, and start you on the change process to a more meaningful and fulfilled life. QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “Loneliness is, literally, a killer.” “You don’t need to be good at everything, but you do need to be good at a couple things.” “Improving your environment improves your life!” “You want to be happy? Go do something for someone else.” “Say what you think and tell the truth.”

How should you start out the year? We often write down resolutions that we want to accomplish, but they quickly fizzle out over the next couple of weeks. Today, Dr. Bray shares a few ways to change your life this year in a way that you may never have been able to. These research based ideas will bring meaning, fulfillment, and joy to your life. But be warned! It will also sting a bit when I tell you what is required. But it is well worth it! That is what we are talking about today on the Dr. CK Bray show.

Future and Self Authoring Program: https://bit.ly/TheDrCKBrayShow-SelfAuthoring

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “Materialism will always leave you bereft of meaning.” “Social media breeds mediocrity.” “You have to be precise in what you want to look like; you can’t hit a target unless you aim at it!” “That which you fear most is your day’s duty.” “Failures; the year will be full of them. Successes; the year will be full of them. You just need small wins every day!”

To make next year one of your best, listen to a few chunks of wisdom from Dr. CK Bray. These bits of wisdom will not only help you out in the workplace but will also assist you with creating a meaningful new year.

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “You create the person you are becoming every day.” “People don’t notice us nearly as much as we think they do.”