The Gently Used Human with Dr. Scott Lyons

What are trauma tingles, you ask? Oh, you know them. They're those wild, exciting, tantalizing, and misdirecting feelings that magnetize you into the same shitty relational dynamics you've been dealing with your whole life.

Oof, It's wild out there in the complex realm of relationships. Sometimes we find ourselves more interested in the chase than the embrace or confusing intensity for intimacy- all the while declaring that we want and need love. If red flags feel like home and you find yourself or people you know in the merry-go-round of relationship pains, welcome to the world of trauma tingles... Let's talk about it.

In this episode, Dr. Scott Lyons chats with Kai Cheng Thom and Nkem Ndefo about red flags in dating and why trauma tingles feel irresistible. If an ordinary life feels risky and red flags cause a buzz of excitement, don't worry—this is a normal part of being human and an adaptive response to trauma. Through witnessing patterns unfolding and learning how to form safer boundaries for ourselves and others, we can heal to the point that those trauma tingles become boring and unsexy- red flag couture no more!

Topics we break down:

• How trauma tingles relate to your attachment style.
• Why dating apps can be dehumanizing.
• Communicating your needs.
• Reconfiguring relationships.
• Maintaining boundaries.
• Choosing yourself.

Kai Cheng's work focuses on the intersection of social justice, pleasure activism, and transformative approaches to healing conflict.

Connect with Kai Cheng

Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Arise Embodiment

Nkem is the founder of Lumos Transforms and the creator of the Resilience Toolkit.

Connect with Nkem

Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

The Resilience Toolkit

Connect with Dr. Scott

Website | Instagram | TikTok

Addicted to Drama

Save 10% at OMALA with offer code DRSCOTT10

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Want to see the Rorschach Drawings? Head over to the episode page.

What if the key to unlocking your potential wasn’t waiting for the perfect opportunity but realizing that you get to create it?

In this episode of The Gently Used Human, Dr. Scott Lyons sits down with Maha Abouelenein, a global expert in communications, branding, and self-reliance, to explore the mindset shifts that turn hesitation into action, connections into opportunities, and self-doubt into unshakable confidence.

Maha’s career spans decades as a trusted advisor to Fortune 500 companies, CEOs, and some of the world’s most influential brands. She understands what it takes to build influence, create lasting relationships, and step fully into your strengths. In this conversation, she shares the strategies she’s used to navigate her own journey—from overcoming personal challenges to becoming one of the most sought-after voices in branding and communication.

Together, Maha and Scott break down how to reframe self-doubt, develop confidence through action, and build a personal brand that reflects who you truly are. They explore why networking doesn’t have to feel transactional, how the simple shift from have to to get to can change your entire outlook, and why true success comes from showing up, creating value, and taking bold steps forward.

This episode is filled with practical insights on how to stop waiting, start owning your story, and build the kind of influence that opens doors.

• Reframing self-doubt – Why waiting for confidence is a trap
• Building your network – How to connect with people authentically
• The power of gratitude – Why shifting from have to → get to changes everything
• Personal branding – Why your reputation matters more than ever
• Taking the first step – How to break free from hesitation and just start

This is a conversation about power, presence, and the freedom that comes from stepping into who you truly are. Listen now on The Gently Used Human.

Maha's "Icebreaker Questions for Introverts"

• How can I help? 
• What brought you to this event? 
• What do you enjoy most about your work?
• What projects are you excited about working on next?
• How did you first get started in [industry]? 
• What do you find most challenging/rewarding about your job? 
• What inspired you to pursue a career in [specific field]? 
• Are there any industry trends or developments that particularly interest you right now? 
• How do you see your industry evolving in the next few years? 
• What advice would you give to someone just starting out in [industry/profession] 
• What are your thoughts on [current industry news/topic] 
• Have you attended any interesting conferences or workshops lately? 
• Are there any skills or knowledge areas you're currently looking to develop?

Are you struggling to stay focused in a world full of distractions? Do you feel like your memory isn’t as sharp as it could be? 

In this powerful and deeply insightful episode, Dr. Scott Lyons sits down with the world-renowned brain coach, memory expert, and author Jim Kwik. Jim has dedicated his life to helping people break through mental barriers and unlock their full cognitive potential. From overcoming his own childhood struggles with learning difficulties to becoming the go-to brain coach for top performers, Jim shares his transformative journey and the essential tools to supercharge memory, focus, and productivity.

Throughout this conversation, Jim and Scott dive into the impact of digital distractions, the hidden costs of our reliance on technology, and how to reclaim mental strength in a world that often works against us. Jim offers practical, neuroscience-backed strategies that listeners can start using immediately to improve concentration, beat burnout, and optimize brain health.

By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to take charge of your mental fitness and equipped with actionable techniques to sharpen your mind, cultivate resilience, and create a more fulfilling life.

Topics We Break Down:

• The modern digital habits that are eroding focus, memory, and decision-making

• How the brain rewires itself and how you can train it for peak performance

• How outsourcing our memory to devices is making us mentally weaker

• Daily techniques to rebuild attention span and mental clarity

• What your brain needs to stay sharp and resilient

• The self-imposed beliefs that hold us back and how to overcome them

• How challenges and adversity can be transformed into personal superpowers

• Simple, effective exercises to remember names, learn faster, and stay present

This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to reclaim their cognitive power, improve learning skills, and develop unshakable mental resilience.

Where to Find Jim Kwik:

📖 Read his book: Limitless

📱 Follow him on Instagram: @jimkwik

🎧 Listen to his podcast: Kwik Brain

🧠 Take the Brain Type Quiz: My Brain Animal

Join the Conversation!

Screenshot this episode, share your favorite takeaway, and tag us on Instagram @thegentlyusedhuman and @jimkwik! Let us know which Brain Animal you are! 🧠🔥

Welcome to The Best of January—a powerful compilation of the most insightful, transformative, and inspiring moments from our recent episodes. Whether you're a longtime listener or just tuning in, this episode brings together wisdom from thought leaders, wellness experts, and real-life stories of resilience.

If you’re looking for motivation, a fresh perspective, or simply a reminder that healing is possible, this episode is for you. You’ll hear deep, honest conversations about overcoming adversity, shifting your mindset, and reclaiming your sense of self. These moments will not only inspire you but also offer insights to help you navigate stress, relationships, and personal growth.

🔹 Lindsay Roth – The power of presence in parenting, why you don’t need to have all the answers, and how shifting your perspective can transform relationships.

🔹 Elaine Glass – Breaking free from toxic relationships, rediscovering your identity, and learning to trust your intuition in the healing process.

🔹 Gabor Maté – A fresh perspective on ADHD, medication, and mental health, along with how stress and trauma shape our experiences.

🔹 Josselyne Herman Saccio – Why mindset alone isn’t enough, how to turn insight into action, and the power of keeping your word to create real transformation.

✨ Small Shifts Matter – You don’t have to solve everything at once; focusing on the present moment can be life-changing.

✨ Stress Isn’t the Enemy – It’s how we perceive and adapt to stress that shapes our experience.

✨ Healing Starts with Truth – Ignoring problems won’t make them disappear; acknowledging them is the first step toward change.

✨ You're Never Alone – There is always a way forward, and sometimes, it starts with getting quiet enough to listen to yourself.

✨ Action Creates Transformation – Insight is valuable, but true change happens when we take steps—no matter how small.

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs a little inspiration today! And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and continue your journey of healing and self-discovery.

What if you could design a life where you’re truly unmessable with?

In this episode of The Gently Used Human, Dr. Scott Lyons sits down with the powerhouse of transformation, Josselyne Herman-Saccio, founder of Be Unmessablewith. With over 30 years of experience helping people break through overwhelm and burnout to create lives filled with purpose, Josselyne shares her unique approach to turning vision into action and dreams into reality.

Together, Dr. Scott and Josselyne explore what it means to take control of your life by shifting from reaction to creation. They discuss practical strategies for honoring your word, building resilience, and finding fulfillment—not by working harder but by designing smarter. Josselyne’s wisdom will inspire you to embrace the chaos of life, harness your inner power, and finally say “yes” to the life you’ve always wanted to create.

Whether you're a high performer looking for your next breakthrough or someone ready to overcome the pull of procrastination, this episode will leave you empowered to take action, no matter where you are in your journey.

Topics We Break Down

• Why overwhelm happens—and how to shift back into creation mode
• The power of vision: How to create it, live it, and keep it alive
• Breaking free from the myth of “motivation” and leaning into action
• The secret to working less while achieving more: Delegation and design
• How to honor your word, even when things don’t go as planned
• Practical tools to transition from reacting to creating in every moment
• How to use promises as a tool for transformation and empowerment

In this transformative episode of The Gently Used Human Podcast, Dr. Scott Lyons is joined by the extraordinary Dr. Gabor Maté, a celebrated physician, speaker, and bestselling author whose groundbreaking work has reshaped how we understand addiction, trauma, and chronic illness. With over four decades of clinical experience, Gabor is renowned for his compassionate exploration of the mind-body connection and the profound ways stress and trauma manifest in our lives. His bestselling books, including The Myth of Normal and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, have inspired countless individuals to embrace healing through reconnection with their authentic selves.

Together, Scott and Gabor explore the hidden costs of disconnection, the survival mechanisms we develop in response to early trauma, and how those patterns shape everything from our identities to our health. Listeners will learn about the dynamic nature of the brain, the powerful role of curiosity and compassion in healing, and practical ways to notice where we’re not being true to ourselves. This episode is an invitation to uncover the unity of mind and body and discover what it means to come home to oneself.

• The profound impact of disconnection on our mental and physical health
• Understanding trauma as a loss of connection with oneself
• The survival mechanisms we adopt to protect ourselves—and how they shape our identities
• How addiction, ADHD, and chronic illness are rooted in early life experiences
• The dynamic nature of the brain and its capacity for healing and change
• The healing power of curiosity, compassion, and connection
• How societal norms and the medical system overlook the unity of mind and body
• Practical steps to notice where we’re not being ourselves and move toward wholeness

Have you ever felt like life is an endless cycle of noise and distraction, leaving no room for stillness? What if the silence we avoid holds the key to profound healing and transformation? How might embracing the quiet spaces between moments change everything?

In this episode of The Gently Used Human, Dr. Scott Lyons welcomes Elaine Glass to explore the transformative power of intentional silence. After escaping a 13-year toxic marriage that left her health deteriorating, Elaine found healing and purpose through the ancient practice of labyrinth walking. She shares how this sacred tool inspired her to create The Get Quiet Way, a powerful method for creating space, reconnecting with the soul, and reclaiming inner peace.

Elaine's journey from chaos to clarity provides listeners with practical insights into nurturing the body, clearing the mind, and cultivating a healthier relationship with oneself. Her reflections and actionable strategies invite us to pause, listen deeply, and move forward with intention.

Topics We Break Down:

• The transformative journey from survival mode to soul alignment
• The power of intentional silence and meditative walking
• Understanding the three ways we spend our time (in-person, digital, and with ourselves)
• The seven energy paths to reconnecting with your authentic self
• The importance of creating a healthy state of being to co-create with our purpose
• The ancient wisdom of labyrinth walking as a tool for spiritual growth

In this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of The Gently Used Human, Dr. Scott Lyons is joined by the talented Lindsay Roth—a TV producer, author, and mother—to dive into the art of connection, resilience, and self-discovery. From navigating the complexities of modern relationships to finding joy in the present, Lindsay’s insights shine a light on how small, intentional choices can lead to transformative change.

The conversation tackles the practicalities and challenges of everyday life to the more significant, profound questions. Dr Scott and Lindsay explore the power of setting boundaries and reframing life’s challenges as opportunities for growth. Lindsay shares her personal journey of balancing career, motherhood, and self-awareness, offering practical advice on maintaining a positive mindset amidst life’s chaos. Together, she and Dr. Scott unpack how asking the right questions—whether about relationships, work, or self—can foster deeper understanding and alignment with what truly matters.

This episode is filled with wisdom, humor, and actionable insights, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking clarity, connection, and empowerment in their lives.

If you’ve ever struggled to communicate your needs, felt stuck in life’s challenges, or questioned how to align with your authentic self, this episode will inspire and guide you. Lindsay and Dr. Scott’s candid, compassionate conversation offers both relatable stories and practical wisdom to help you navigate life with curiosity and courage. You’ll laugh, reflect, and walk away feeling empowered to embrace your journey as a “gently used human.”

Topics We Break Down:

• How intentional questions can foster deeper connection and self-awareness.
• Viewing stress as a resource for growth and adaptability.
• Redefining boundaries as self-driven actions rather than requests from others.
• Lessons from challenges, the importance of relational “reps,” and reframing the idea of “failure.”
• Strategies for finding gratitude, staying present, and discovering what truly matters.

In this special New Year episode, we pause to embrace the quiet power of reflection amidst the noise of the "New Year, New You" culture. Rather than rushing into resolutions, this episode encourages you to marinate in your existing potential. With curated reflections from past episodes and insights from this year’s most meaningful conversations, we aim to equip you with actionable tools for sustainable change.

Instead of focusing on what needs fixing, this episode celebrates your limitless capacity for renewal. Join us for a heartfelt journey through laughter, wisdom, and empowering truths that prepare you to embrace 2025 with intention and grace.

What You’ll Learn:

• The Beauty of Imperfection: Discover why you’re already enough and how embracing imperfection can be a superpower for growth.
• Crafting Sustainable Shifts: Learn small, meaningful steps to bring clarity and momentum into the new year without burnout.
• Reflections on Joy and Balance: Learn to navigate the thin line between passion and overwhelm and uncover tools for recalibration when needed.
• Breaking Cycles: Explore practical ways to step off the hamster wheel of self-criticism and create cycles of self-compassion instead.

Key Takeaways:

1. Celebrate Your "Now": Before chasing transformation, honor where you are in this moment—imperfections included.
2. Start Small, Stay Consistent: Sustainable change is built on small, regular acts of self-awareness and care.
3. Turn Criticism into Curiosity: Approach challenges and emotions with openness instead of judgment.
4. Boundaries Protect Joy: Craft boundaries that honor your energy and foster healthy relationships.
5. Pause for Possibility: Savor the stillness and rediscover your creativity and vibrancy through presence.

Featuring Clips From:

• Tara Schuster on transforming self-care into a powerful survival strategy
• Thomas Curran on balancing perfectionism with self-acceptance
• Nicole Walters on embracing boldness, courage, and comfort
• Nicole Sachs on decoding and reshaping our relationship with pain
• Rachael Kaplan on the liberating power of emotional release and connection
• Brian Moller on cultivating gratitude as a daily practice
• Amy Morin on strengthening mental resilience and fortitude
• Justin Michael Williams on fostering empowerment and building community
• Eliza VanCourt on nurturing and soothing your inner fears
• Marie Forleo on developing habits that align with intuition and meaning
• Britt Frank on how small, consistent steps lead to big changes
• Michael Galyon on practicing presence and self-care
• Max Lugavere on prioritizing physical well-being today for a healthier tomorrow

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it with your fellow Gently Used Humans, and leave us a review! Your support helps us reach more listeners on their path toward growth and self-discovery. Here’s to a new year that celebrates the amazing person you already are.

In this special Best of 2024 episode, we revisit the most impactful moments from our inspiring conversations throughout the year. These discussions dive deep into relationships, attachment, community, and healing, offering meaningful insights into how we connect with others and ourselves.

From the complexities of love and partnership to the foundational influence of early experiences, we explore tools for navigating challenges with clarity and intention. Mark Groves and Dr. Stan Tatkin discuss the intricacies of relationships, focusing on the balance of connection and independence that helps them thrive. Dr. Judy Ho explains attachment styles and how our childhood patterns continue to shape our adult behaviors. Kai Cheng Thom and Nkem Ndefo expand on emotional resilience, sharing strategies for navigating conflict and fostering greater compassion for ourselves and others.

We also explore the transformative process of healing. Jessica Fern demystifies ethical non-monogamy, offering practical approaches to reframing love. Dr. Peter Levine delves into the impact of trauma on the nervous system, providing pathways for release and growth. Mastin Kipp and Dr. Nicole LePera share tools for understanding and managing emotional triggers, while Mia Magik reconnects us with ancient practices to strengthen our inner foundations.

Themes of community care and mutual support emerge as Vannessa Bennett and Dené Logan reflect on the importance of fostering connection in mental health. Laura Clery reminds us of the power of humor to lighten life’s burdens, while Michael Galyon encourages us to embrace the present moment with gratitude and openness.

Featured Guests

Mark Groves, Dr. Stan Tatkin, Sabrina Zohar, Jillian Turecki, Dr. Judy Ho, Jessica Fern, Vannessa Bennett and Dené Logan, Dr. Nicole LePera, Mastin Kipp, Dr. Peter Levine, Laura Clery, Mia Magik, Michael Galyon, Kai Cheng Thom, and Nkem Ndefo.

If you feel one of your favorite guests has been missed, don’t worry! Many more of our favorite guests will appear in next week’s specially curated New Year’s episode, where we’ll share transformative tools to help you heal, grow, and graciously embrace 2025.

If you enjoyed this Best of 2024 episode, please subscribe, share it with your fellow Gently Used Humans, and leave us a review! Your support helps us reach more listeners on their path toward growth and healing.

Listen to the full episodes:

Mia Magik https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/the-alchemy-of-rage

Michael Galyon https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/finding-calm-in-chaos

Sabrina Zohar https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/breaking-the-cycle-of-toxic-relationships

Mastin Kipp https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/nourishing-your-nervous-system

Dr Arielle Shwartz https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/the-nonlinear-journey-of-healing

Mark Groves https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/liberated-love

Dr Stan Tatkin https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/the-architecture-of-relationships

Jessica Fern https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/erotic-blueprints-and-the-map-to-intimacy

Dr Peter Levine https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/the-birth-of-somatic-trauma-healing

Dr Nicole LePera https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/healing-trauma-and-an-addiction-to-drama

Kai Cheng Thom and Nkem Ndefo https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/dating-your-trauma-tingles

Vennessa Bennett and Dené Logan https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/tap-dancing-for-belonging

Jillian Turecki https://www.drscottlyons.com/podcast/the-safety-of-turbulance