My guest today is Carla Miller. She is a women's leadership and confidence coach, trainer, and keynote speaker. Her mission is to empower women in their careers and close the influence gap that exists for women in the workplace. Carla is the author of Closing the Influence Gap: A Practical Guide for Women Leaders Who Want to be Heard, which empowers women leaders to successfully navigate the workplace and to learn to lead their way.

On this episode of The Growth Guide, we explore the art of influence and how to overcome obstacles when presenting ideas to senior stakeholders as women. We discuss how to handle personal leadership branding and create a unique personal brand, and how to identify and utilize our strengths to excel at work. We also discuss the impact of disempowering phrases, particularly for women in the workplace, and how to replace them with empowering ones.

 The episode touches on the importance of cognitive flexibility and self-reflection for personal and professional growth, and how to boost confidence before important meetings. 

Additionally, we tackle the subject of radical responsibility and how it can fuel career success. Tune in to discover practical tips to sharpen your influencing and leadership skills.

[08:56]  Inner critic – Self-doubt prevents speaking up, recognizing and reframing beliefs and inner critic, accessing inner leader and behaviors to reduce burnout.

[23.11] Reframing – Carla walks us through the steps of her own reframing process of imposter feelings.  

[29.43] Personal leadership brand – How to create a personal leadership brand 

[39.32] Owning identity – When you show up differently in front of people, they are going to treat you differently. 

[43:33] Meeting Preparation - Prepare for meetings by setting an achievable goal, claiming a desired perception and using body language or music to feel powerful.

[54.53] Qualifying statements – Women tend to make qualifying statements to soften challenging points in meetings, but this disempowers them; instead, they should ask questions and end strong.

[1.07.11] Authority and gravitas – Distinguishing between authority and gravitas, using appropriate tone and body language to be taken seriously as a leader, and challenging the assumption that women's voices must be lower to be respected.

[1:20:39] Cognitive flexibility - The skill of listening to other perspectives and having a discussion rather than asserting your own to be right.

[1.25:59] Radical Responsibility – Carla shares her view of radical responsibility as being able to create change and no longer being able to be a victim and complain.

Connect with Carla

Website: https://www.carlamillertraining.com/ 

Instagram: instagram.com/thisiscarlamiller/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlamiller1/ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/carlacmiller
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/influenceandimpact 
 

Resources

 Book by Carla
Closing the Influence Gap: A practical guide for women leaders who want to be heard

Book by Valerie Rein
Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment

Book by Mary Ann Sieghart
The Authority Gap: Why Women Are Still Taken Less Seriously Than Men, and What We Can Do About It

My guest today is Houston Kraft. He is a professional speaker, author, curriculum developer, and kindness advocate who has a passion for sustainable impact, positive culture change, and student success. His aim is to create a more loving, kind, and compassionate world. He is the co-founder of CharacterStrong, an organization that provides curricula and training for schools all around the United States and Canada. 

Houston is the author of the book “Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness” which takes an honest look at the gap between our belief in kindness and our ability to perform it well, and shows us how to put intention into action.

We explore the importance of kindness and empathy in our world. We delve into why empathy has decreased in recent times and the barriers that prevent us from being kind. We also discuss how we can develop our empathy muscle through specificity, sacrifice, and awareness. 

Houston also discusses the difference between confetti kindness and deep kindness, and we learn about the importance of paying attention to shame and understanding the needs of others without expecting anything in return. Join us as we explore the power of kindness and how we can cultivate it in our society.

[05.10] Kindness isn’t normal – We start the conversation by diving into the question of why kindness isn’t normal in our world. 

[14.21] Deep kindness – Deep kindness is how you understand a person’s needs and the willingness to offer them without expectations. 

[25.11] The Power of words  – We talk about how specific vocabulary can make a difference in complimenting someone. 

[34.45] Increasing empathy – We talk about how self-awareness and perspective-taking help increase empathy inside people. 

[42.21] Holding space - To hold space is to give the gift of attention.

[52.39] Mental health – All of us experience mental health at some point in our lives. Houston talks about the importance of normalizing mental health in our lives. 

[01.00.34] Understanding shame – We talk about how to give our love to others by loving ourselves first.

[01.05.00] Authentic kindness – Authentic kindness comes with the ability to say no and make your yes’s genuine. 

Connect with Houston:

Website - houstonkraft.com/ 

                characterstrong.com/ 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/houstonkraft/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/houstonkraft

Twitter - twitter.com/houstonkraft 

Resources:

Book by Houston Kraft
Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness

Book by Marc Brackett
Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

Book by Jamil Zaki
The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World

Book by James C. Hunter
The Servant: A Simple Story About the True Essence of Leadership

Book by The School of Life Library
On Being Nice

Books by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson
The Wheel of Time Series

Book by RA Salvatore
Relentless: A Drizzt Novel

This week’s show features Nick Gray, a serial entrepreneur who has been living in Austin, Texas for the past two years. After moving to New York City in his mid-20s without any friends, he quickly adapted to the hustle and bustle of the city by walking up to 10,000 steps each day. Inspired by his love of museums, Nick created Museum Hack - a business that provides renegade museum tours led by stand-up comedians and Broadway actors. Museum Hack quickly became a multimillion dollar business, offering team building activities to businesses and companies across the United States. 

We discuss Nick’s book: "The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: How to Build Big Relationships with Small Gatherings." Nick shares tips for improving event attendance and hosting successful parties. He discusses the use of icebreakers, delegating duties, and communicating the end time of a party. Additionally, Nick shares his experience with starting Museum Hack and provides tips for building confidence as a new host. Tune in for great advice on turbocharging connections with guests and making hosting parties a habit.

[05.07] Making friends – Starting the conversation, Nick explains why it is difficult for adults to make friends. 

[09.50] Cocktail party – Nick shares the reason behind choosing the title cocktail party instead of a dinner party and the difference between the two. 

[25.01] Start small – Start small by inviting close friends, neighbors, and work buddies for a low-stakes party.

[30.37] The attendance – Nick shares the steps you have to take to boost the attendance of your party with RSVPs, reminder messages and guest bios.

[37.06] Name tags – We talk about the importance of name tags at parties. 

[39:00] Icebreakers - How icebreakers are used to get people talking and meeting new people at parties.

[48:42] How to end a party - End party 15 minutes before scheduled time, turn off music and lights, tidy up and thank guests for coming.

Connect with Nick:

Website - nickgray.net/ 

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/nickgraynews/ 

Instagram - instagram.com/nickgraynews/ 

Twitter - twitter.com/nickgraynews 

Tiktok - tiktok.com/@nickgraynews

Resources:

Book by Nick
The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: How to Build Big Relationships with Small Gatherings 

Book by James Clear
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Book by Priya Parker
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters 

Articles by Nick:

How to Host a Party Website

Happy Hour Best Practices: How to Plan, Host, and Throw a Great Party

The Easy Way to Host or Plan a Networking Event

Launch Party Ideas: 4 Tips for Success

How to Host a Dinner Party

How to Plan a Picnic

How to Host a Housewarming Party

How to Host a Party at Home with Kids

Our guest today is Dr. Deb Mashek, a social psychologist who helps business leaders navigate the relationship headwinds that tank timelines, bottom lines and well-being.  She is an experienced business advisor, professor and non-profit executive.   She is the author of the book Collabor(h)ate: How to build incredible collaborative relationships at work (even if you’d rather work alone)

[05.50] Collaboration – Deb shares a brief bio on herself and defines collaboration in her own terms. 

[15.02] Hierarchy – The collaboration of every member is important in a collaborative workspace. 

[21.03] The Mashek Matrix – We go through the two dimensions of the Mashek Matrix.

[28.47] OCEAN - Openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism are the big five personality assessments.

[36.16] Relationship quality – We talk about ways to improve relationship quality.

[46.19] Self-expansion theory – Deb explains the psychological theory of self-expansion. 

[59.26] Frequency dial – We talk about formal vs. informal time on the frequency dial in interdependence. 

[01.05.52] Invest in relationships – Collaboration is far from easy. We talk about the importance of developing relationships in order to collaborate. 

[01.20.27] Best behaviors – We talk about the best behaviors to have when we are building a team for collaboration. 

Resources

Connect with Deb

Website - myco.consulting/ 

                debmashek.com/ 

Mashek Matrix:  https://debmashek.lpages.co/mashekmatrix/

Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/debra-mashek-phd

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/debra-mashek/ 

Twitter - twitter.com/debmashek 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debmashek

Book by Deb 

Collabor(h)ate:  How to build incredible collaborative relationships at work (even if you’d rather work alone)

Book by Oliver Burkeman
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals 

Book by Liane Davey
The Good Fight: Use Productive Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Back on Track 

Book by Linda Flanagan
Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids' Sports--And Why It Matters 

Book by Clifton Corbin
Your Kids, Their Money: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Literate Children 

Our guest today is Derrick Kinney, CEO of Good Money Framework and host of the popular Good Money Podcast.  Derrick is recognized by Forbes as one of the nation’s top financial advisors and he’s coached thousands of clients to financial success.  We talk about his book, Good Money Revolution: How to Make More Money to Do More Good, and he teaches us to make more money, live the life we deserve and change the world, too.

Derrick walks us through the reasons for selling his practice and how he wants to help independent advisors build their practices by incorporating generosity into them. He further shares how he can get what he wants by helping other people.

Being generous to people who need it is one of the best things you can do as a human. It makes you part of others’ happiness. It makes you part of a bigger picture in society. Derrick shares one of his clients' stories about having a generous purpose in life and how it helped them grow their own businesses by being generous.

Having a side hustle is important. You can stay motivated with your side hustles once you figure out why you're doing them. You have to find your big "why," and the sacrifices you make are worth it at the end of it.

[01.24] The “Good Money” message – Derrick discusses why he wanted to bring the "good money" message to the world.

[18.40] Generosity purpose – When you connect a purpose to your money, everything changes. 

[28.03] Being generous – Derrick shares how you can be generous to people when you are not financially stable.

[35.43] Saving money – How to save money and use it to invest in generosity.

[45.04] Side hustles - Derrick discusses the importance of knowing why you want to do a side hustle. Derrick believes that once you discover the reason, all other sacrifices are worthwhile.

[58.50] Money mindsets – Common money mindsets people have, how to avoid them, and keep moving forward.

[01.10.50] Setting goals – We talk about the things we need to do to make a difference in our lives every year.

Resources

Connect with Derrick

Website - goodmoneyframework.com/ 

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/derrickkinney/ 

Instagram - instagram.com/derricktkinney/ 

Book by Derrick 

Good Money Revolution: How to Make More Money to Do More Good 

Derrick’s Podcast:

Good Money with Derrick Kinney

Book by George S. Clason

The Richest Man in Babylon

Book by James Clear

Atomic Habits

Book by T. Harv Eker

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth

My guest today is Mary Firestone is the co-founder of Firestone Sisters, Inc and has a Masters in Clinical Psychology from Princeton University. She is the author of the book "Trusting the Dawn: How to Choose Freedom and Joy After Trauma”. Mary joined this week’s episode of The Growth Guide podcast to talk about understanding trauma, how to talk to yourself, integration and initiation, aromatherapy, ketamine therapy, daily practices to reduce trauma, and more.

Sometimes we talk to ourselves in a harsh way that we never tell anyone else. But being empathetic and kind to ourselves is essential in the process of healing from trauma. The first step in addressing ourselves kindly is identifying our internal thoughts. The second step is to redecorate those internal thoughts with more powerful and empowering ones, says Mary.

The goal of trauma therapy is to integrate. That means we shouldn’t try to fully remove trauma from our lives. Instead, we can make the trauma a part of our story. A part of our lives that led us to the moment we are in or be the person we are today.  You are not alone, and there are a lot of ways to help you reduce your suffering with the right guidance. Healing is absolutely possible; you just have to keep searching.

[05.29] Understanding trauma - How to recognize that you are dealing with trauma and what symptoms to look for.

[11.52] Talk to ourselves – It’s important how we talk to ourselves. Mary walks us through the steps to talking to ourselves when we are in a traumatic condition.

[18.56] Integration and initiation – Instead of attempting to eliminate trauma, we should try to integrate it into our lives.

[25.53] Shaking therapy – Mary shares some trauma-releasing exercises that you can do to physically release trauma.

[30.34] Aromatherapy – Mary defines aromatherapy and flower essences and how they can help with trauma.

[36.07] Acupuncture – Mary explains how acupuncture takes one from the sympathetic stage to the parasympathetic stage.

[41.55] EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. 

[54.30] Daily practices – Qi Gong, reading, writing letters to God, and yoga are some of Mary’s daily practices for people who deal with trauma. 

Resources

Connect with Mary:

firestonesisters.com
https://www.maryfirestone.co/

linkedin.com/in/mary-firestone-22203058/ 

instagram.com/trustingthedawn2022/ 

instagram.com/firestonesisters/

Book by Mary

Trusting the Dawn: How to Choose Freedom and Joy After Trauma 

Book by Florence Scovel Shinn

The Game of Life and How to Play It 

Paul Fraser Qigong - paulfraserqigong.net/ 

This week’s episode of the Growth Guide Podcast features Brad Stulberg. Brad joined us today to talk about his book, The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds—Not Crushes—Your Soul.

Brad is a writer, researcher, and performance coach and is also the co-author of: Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success. 

No matter how hard you tried or how hard you thought you would be happy at your destination, it’s normal to feel exhausted. But if you enjoy the journey, you may enjoy the destination. Brad discusses the importance of enjoying our journey in order to enjoy the end result.

As much as social media holds an important role in our lives, we have to understand that not all the things we see there are true.Brad talks about how we are consumed by the unrealistic nature of social media. 

The front-stage self is the personality we show to the world. The "backstage self" is who we truly are. If we give too much space between these two personalities, we are welcoming cognitive dissonance. Brad explains why we need to bridge the gap between our front-stage and backstage selves and why we need to set boundaries for our personal lives on social media.

[06.38] Blessing and a curse – Brad shares his opinion about the lack of boundaries between work and life. 

[14.08] Enjoying the journey – If we do not enjoy doing something, we won’t find enjoyment at the end of it.

[20.46] Social Media – We discuss how we are consumed by the false happiness of people in electronic media. 

[26.40] Stoicism and Buddhism – How the teachings of stoicism and Buddhism about being in the present moment which leads us to feel better and do better. 

[31.50] Behavioral activation – A key component of acceptance and commitment therapy. 

[38.33] Therapeutic toolkit – The Buddhist way of considering thoughts as thoughts and not taking them seriously. 

[45.06] Want vs. need – The more we focus on what we want rather than what we need, the better. 

[01.01.25] Productivity vs. productive activity – Brad explains the difference between productivity and productive activity. 

[01.10.31] Consistency compounds – Brad shares some practices to be consistent and stay on the path. 

[01.22.38] Front vs backstage self – Front stage is the performative self, and the backstage is who you really are. The less distance between them, the better. 

Resources

Connect with Brad

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/brad-stulberg-009b168b/ 

Website - bradstulberg.com/ 

Twitter - twitter.com/BStulberg 

Instagram - instagram.com/bradstulberg/?hl=en 

Book by Brad

The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds—Not Crushes—Your Soul

Book by Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness

Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success

Book by David D. Burns

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

Book by Stephen R. Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

This week’s episode of the Growth Guide podcast features Dr. Kristen Lee, a researcher and expert in the field of behavioral science.  She is the author of Worth the Risk: How to Microdose Bravery to Grow Resilience, Connect More and Offer Yourself to the World.  She talks about her book which provides a fresh take on how risk-taking and resilience can be leveraged for the greater good.

Dr. Kristen Lee, Ed.D., LICSW, is a behavioral science clinician, researcher, educator, lecturer, and comedian based in Boston. She is the Lead Faculty for Behavioral Science and Faculty-in-Residence at Northeastern University. Kristen focuses on the well-being and resilience of individuals and organizations, especially those that serve underrepresented communities. She also consults with businesses and leaders worldwide to help them develop positive mental health cultures that reduce the risk of burnout and increase their chances of long-term success.

Throughout today's discussion, we discuss "what-if" living, defined as being plagued by worries about the past and the future. Kristen adds that one's mental health and well-being might be negatively impacted by having such an attitude. She maintains that a "what is" perspective is preferable to a "what if" since it includes embracing the realities of life and concentrating on the positives.

[01:07] What-if living - Instead of being paralyzed by worry and dread, accepting the world as it is and making the best of it can liberate you to pursue your dreams.

[16:57] Microdosing Bravery - Bravery and courage are not about grand gestures or impressive displays but rather about taking small and manageable steps towards our values and goals, facing our fears and anxieties, and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.

[22:15] Emotional Regulation - When we learn to regulate our emotions, we control our feelings better, react with greater awareness, and rely less on habitual, unthinking responses.

[29:37] Mental Health  - Kristen stresses the need to address the current mental health problem because of the unprecedented level of suffering in the world today.

[37:51] Labels and Diagnostic Frameworks - You are not your diagnosis, you are still [Name].

[01:20:03] Tolerance, Acceptance, And Reverence  - We discuss the difference between the concepts of tolerance, acceptance, and reverence and how these can be used to choose values over passivity when dealing with different biases, racism and other "isms" that exist in the world. 

Resources:

Connect with Dr. Kris(ten) Lee:

Website: kristenlee.com/

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drkris1/

Tiktok: tiktok.com/@drkristherapycomedy

Instagram: instagram.com/therealdrkris/

Twitter: twitter.com/TheRealDrKris

Book by Dr. Kristen Lee

Worth the Risk: How to Microdose Bravery to Grow Resilience, Connect More, and Offer Yourself to the World

Mentioned in the Podcast:

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion

Life Is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way

This week’s episode of The Growth Guide podcast features Steve Magness, a performance coach who works with athletes, entrepreneurs and executives. He is the author of the book "Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness".  He talks about his book which brings a radical rethinking of how we perceive toughness and what it means to achieve our high ambitions in the face of hard things.

[02.41] Defining toughness – What people commonly think toughness means, comparing physical toughness vs. inner strength.

[08.48] Training model – Why are people caged in an outdated training model to develop children using archaic military-style methods, when the US military has updated their training model.

[15.03] Fear as a motivator – Why fear works as a motivator for a short period of time.

[16:22] Ditching the facade – Acting or appearing tough is just faking it until you make it, until reality smacks us in the face. 

[25.00] Duality of life – We only show people what we want them to see. Steve dives into how dangerous it is when people show only their bright side on social media.

[35.52] Arrogance vs. confidence – Confidence is not about being perfect. Steve explains what is lacking in people who try too hard to let others know they are confident and how you can build inner confidence.

[41.30] Overcorrecting – We have a bias towards always correcting and what happens we tend to overcorrect.

[47.11] Interoceptive system – Steve defines the interoceptive system and explains how it works. 

[56.32] Being alone in your head – How to learn to practice cognitive behavior therapy by making it simple and consistent in your life.

[01.03.50] Using 2nd or 3rd Person – How referring to yourself in the 2nd or 3rd person can free you up to deal with the thought instead of having to be in charge.. 

[01.16.09] Stimulus and response – Increasing the gap between a stimulus and a response to improve your response.

[01.24.14] Intrinsic motivation – Autonomy, mastery, and belonging are the three components that need to cultivate intrinsic motivation. 

Resources

Connect with Steve

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/steve-magness/ 

Website - stevemagness.com/ (Personal) 

                thegrowtheq.com/ (Company)

Twitter - twitter.com/stevemagness 

Book by Steve – 

Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

Book by Marcus Aurelius – 

Meditations

Book by Viktor E. Frankl – 

Man's Search for Meaning

My guest today believes that the food industry is a place where anyone can earn their way into a leadership role, regardless of formal education. She emphasizes that the food industry offers many opportunities for growth and learning and that the skills and relationships gained in the food world can be transferred to other career paths and industries.

Renee Guilbault, a veteran food-industry consultant with expertise in large-scale, global, multi-unit food and beverage operations, joins this episode of the pursuit of learning podcast to share her experience and insightful perspectives. Renee is the principal of Essayer Food Consulting and she played a pivotal role in creating and implementing high-volume operational strategies and ground-breaking food programming at Pret A Manger, Bon Appetit Management Company at Google, Compass Group, and Le Pain Quotidien before starting Essayer Food Consulting. She is the author of the book "A Taste of Opportunity," designed to help anyone seeking a rewarding career in the food industry, whether they are just starting in the workforce or have their sights set on the highest levels of management.

Today, Renee discusses her career progress and the many lessons she has learned along the way.  Renee stresses the significance of self-improvement, deliberate action, and emotional awareness. She elaborates on the areas where she believes young leaders have the most potential for improvement during their transition into leadership and the areas where they tend to miss the mark. We also talk about the idea of the resilience muscle, having a Personal Board of Directors, and the process of writing a leadership obituary. 

[00:19] Introduction – Renee discusses her career in the food industry, sharing several lessons she has learned about advancing in one's profession, networking, and developing a personal board. 

[19:19] Get Your Dream Job - You must stand up for yourself, especially in the tough times, and keep going forward by using your goals and dreams as a compass. 

[32:41] Helpful Tips – Importance of continuous growth, the concept of intentionality, and emotional intelligence for young listeners

[48:59] Renee's View – Renee discusses the leadership obituary and its process, her definition of resilience, and the value of JFDI as a tool.

[01:01:09] Big 5 - What are the Big 5, and how can we make the most of them?

[01:08:02] Amazing Concepts -  Renee provides helpful insight on the concepts of "always hire your replacement and make yourself obsolete," "if not us, then who? and “If not now, then when".

Resources:

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/renee-guilbault-2208b55a/

Website: essayerfoodconsulting.com/

Book by Renee:

A Taste of Opportunity: An Insider's Guide to Boosting Your Career, Making Your Mark, and Changing the Food Industry from Within: essayerfoodconsulting.com/a-taste-of-opportunity

Mentioned in the Podcast:

Reframe Your Story: Real Talk for Women Who Want to Let Go, Do Less and Be More—Together: goodreads.com/book/show/59363531-reframe-your-story?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=cWbddK8oHH&rank=1