Shrink For The Shy Guy

The High Cost of Deferring Decisions


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In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives deep into one of the sneakiest traps that keep us stuck: deferring decisions. Whether it’s fear of making the wrong choice, wanting more clarity, or simply waiting for the “perfect time,” delaying decisions comes at a steep cost—and it’s often invisible until it’s too late.

Dr. Aziz unpacks how avoiding decisions drains your confidence, erodes momentum, and reinforces the illusion that you're not ready or capable. He shares a radically freeing mindset shift that allows you to make powerful choices now, even if you're scared, uncertain, or don’t feel 100% “ready.”

🎧 Tired of waiting for the stars to align before you move forward in your life, career, or relationships? Tune in now and discover how making the decision—any decision—is often the most powerful step you can take.

 

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Most people don’t ruin their lives with one dramatic mistake.

They do it quietly—by waiting.

By postponing conversations.
By delaying decisions.
By telling themselves, “I’ll figure it out later.”

And later becomes years.

Today, I want to talk about something uncomfortable—but liberating if you really let it land: the cost of deferring decisions. Not just at the end of life, but right now, this year, this week.

Because the goal isn’t to someday look back and feel okay about your life.

The goal is to feel fully alive now.

 

The Regret That Wakes People Up Too Late

There’s a well-known body of work from hospice nurse Bronnie Ware, who spent years listening to people reflect on their lives as they were dying. One regret stood above all others:

“I wish I’d lived a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Let that sink in.

Not “I wish I worked harder.”
Not “I wish I made more money.”

But I wish I’d been myself.

And if that’s what people realize at the end, the real question is:
How many people are already living with that regret right now—just more quietly?

 

Whose Life Are You Actually Living?

Living “your life” sounds obvious… until you really examine it.

Are you living the life your parents wanted?
Your partner expects?
Your industry rewards?
Your internalized image of a “good” or “nice” person demands?

Most people don’t consciously choose someone else’s life. They drift into it. Piece by piece. Decision by decision. Or more accurately—non-decision by non-decision.

And over time, you end up steering nothing… while your life still moves forward.

 

The Trap of Endless Information

We live in an age that promises certainty through information.

If I just read one more book…
Watch one more video…
Gather a little more data…

Then I’ll know what to do.

But here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear:

Information does not create action.

At best, it creates temporary motivation.
At worst, it becomes a sophisticated way to avoid deciding.

Many people become incredibly informed—and quietly stuck.

 

Why Decisions Feel So Uncomfortable

The word decision literally means “to cut off.”

When you decide, you eliminate options.
You create consequences.
You step into uncertainty.

And that’s terrifying for the part of you whose job is survival, not fulfillment.

So instead, you hover in “I’m not sure yet.”

But here’s the uncomfortable reality:

Not deciding is still a decision.

If you don’t decide to leave, you decide to stay.
If you don’t decide to speak up, you decide to remain silent.
If you don’t decide to act, you decide to keep living exactly as you are.

 

Action Is the Antidote to Regret

There is no path in life that avoids discomfort.

The only real choice is which discomfort you choose:

  • The sharp, temporary discomfort of action
  • Or the dull, chronic ache of regret and self-betrayal
  • Living fully doesn’t require dramatic gestures or burning your life to the ground. It requires something much simpler—and much harder:

    Decide. Then act. Then do it again.

    Small decision. Real action.
    Big decision. Imperfect action.

    It’s not about getting it “right.”
    It’s about reclaiming the steering wheel.

     

    An Invitation—for Today

    If you’ve been waiting for certainty, confidence, or clarity before acting—this is your wake-up call.

    Clarity comes after movement.
    Confidence grows through action.

    So don’t overthink this.

    Pick one decision you’ve been deferring.
    Make it.
    Act on it—today, in some real, tangible way.

    That’s how aliveness returns.

    And that’s how regret never gets a chance to take root.

    Until we speak again—
    have the courage to be who you are,
    and know, on a deep level, that you’re already enough.

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    Shrink For The Shy GuyBy Dr. Aziz: Social Anxiety And Confidence Expert, Author and Coach

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