The Messy Parts

This week, we are looking back at some of the most powerful, hilarious, and vulnerable moments from The Messy Parts. We created this episode with Hark Audio, gathering the standout clips that define what this show is all about: embracing the chaos and finding strength in the struggle.

Whether you are new to the podcast or a day-one listener, this compilation features the wisdom you need right now. We revisit these conversations and more:

• Negin Farsad on finding the humor in social justice and the "messy" side of comedy.
• Fede Garcia on navigating communication and the power of perspective.
• Vanessa Barboni Hallik on the complexities of sustainable fashion and ethical leadership.
• Cindi Leive on redefining power structures and her journey through the media landscape.
• Ana Gasteyer on how you make your aspirations your identity

Tune in for a dose of inspiration, laughter, and real talk.

Links: Check out Hark Audio: https://harkaudio.com/ 

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We're going back to our first episode: Katie Sturino is no stranger to reinvention—from fashion PR hustler to viral dog-momager to founder of Megababe and author of the new romcom Sunny Side Up. In the premiere episode of The Messy Parts, she joins Maryam to talk about building a self-funded brand, the real struggles behind the Instagram gloss, and how letting the "messy parts hang out" can be your superpower. They talk all things Ozempic, Oprah, body image, revenge-fueled motivation, and working with family. Katie also opens up about her purpose: helping women stop feeling bad alone—and start feeling powerful together.

Show Notes: 

Guest: Katie Sturino – Entrepreneur, Author, Founder of Megababe

Follow Katie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiesturino/?hl=en

Follow Katie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiesturino

Topics Covered:

• Why revenge is her greatest motivator: "Success is the ultimate revenge"
• Moving to NYC and relentlessly pursuing her dream job at Chanel
• Making her dog Toast Instagram-famous and recognizing unexpected opportunities
• Starting 12ish Style blog after discovering the power of body representation
• Creating Megababe: solving problems no one talks about (thigh chafe, boob sweat)
• Working with family: benefits and challenges of business partnerships
• Writing "Sunny Side Up": transforming pain into a romcom after 9 years
• Meeting Oprah and sparking a national conversation about weight stigma
• The messy reality of entrepreneurship that podcasts don't share
• Dreaming big without limits and trusting your gut

Mentioned:

• Chanel
• Dolce & Gabbana
• Megababe Products
• Toast (her famous dog): DogMeetsWorld
• 12ish Style blog
• "Sunny Side Up" (her novel)
• Today Show
• Oprah Special: Shame, Blame and the Weight Loss Revolution
• Target
• Weight Watchers
• Ozempic
• Ina Garten’s book, Be Ready When Luck Happens
• The Longest Table

Send us Fan Mail

Email us: [email protected]

To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.

What does it really take to build a career across Saturday Night Live, Broadway’s Wicked, network TV, and music? In this re-release of one of our favorite episodes of The Messy Parts, Ana Gasteyer joins Maryam Banikarim to reveal the messy, unglamorous parts of showbusiness — like rejection, insecurity, and feeling like an outsider. Ana turned those realities into fuel for her creativity, and tells Maryam about the power of radical preparedness in auditions, why naming her goals out loud shifted everything, and how Martin Short's life-balancing method helps her navigate the chaos of life. Whether you’re an actor, artist, writer, or anyone chasing a creative dream, Ana’s insights on resilience and reinvention will resonate deeply. A warm, hilarious, and refreshingly honest conversation about ambition, belonging, and showing up for the life you want.

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To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.

Is your path too messy for success? In this episode of The Messy Parts, Maryam talks to Rafat Ali, founder of Skift and one of the most quietly influential figures in digital media. This feels like a personal conversation, Rafat opens up about the parts of his journey most people never hear: stuttering as a teenager, feeling like an outsider in America, breaking down during intense life changes, and rebuilding through resilience. Maryam guides Rafat through the unexpected threads that connect his life — curiosity, delayed gratification, instinct, and the belief that nonlinear careers often lead to the most meaningful destinations. From surviving the collapse of his industry to navigating the COVID shutdown and a banking crisis, Rafat offers real insight for anyone struggling with uncertainty.

Show Notes: 

✍️ Stammering to Storytelling: How Writing Became His Superpower 

The childhood stutter, expanding vocabulary, and discovering writing as expression.

🌍 From India to Indiana: Culture Shock, Baywatch & Belonging 

Rafat’s honest story of early loneliness, identity, and adjusting to America as a Muslim kid.

🎙️ Why Push Through? Rafat on Life Phases & the “Two-Year Rule” 

How he decides when to persist vs. pivot — a core framework for careers and reinvention.

💼 B2B Influence > Fame: Choosing a Niche and Owning a Sector 

Why Rafat sought influence over money—and how niching down fueled his career strategy.

🧭 Contrarian Thinking & Global Lens: Seeing What Others Miss 

How being an outsider shaped his instincts, travel philosophy, and entrepreneurship.

🔁 Career Compounding: Staying Put to Accelerate Growth 

His philosophy on long careers, loyal teams, and why job-hopping kills momentum.

🌐 Influence Over Money: Why Rafat Chose Impact, Not Income

Rafat reveals the driving force behind his entire career: the pursuit of influence—not wealth

👨‍👩‍👧 Family, Legacy & Belonging: The Emotional Skift India Forum 

The powerful story of bringing his mother to his Delhi conference and finally being “seen.”

💥 When Everything Breaks: COVID, SVB Collapse & Leading Through Panic

Inside the near-death business moments—money running out, tears, resilience, and action.

 🧠 Mental Health, Compartmentalizing & the Breakdown That Changed Him 

Rafat opens up about his recent mental health crisis, adopting a baby, and learning limits.

Send us Fan Mail

Email us: [email protected]

To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.

How do you turn fun into a career? In this honest, funny, and inspiring episode of The Messy Parts, celebrity event planner Marcy Blum tells Maryam how she went from living on a failed commune in Vermont to organizing lavish celebrations for LeBron James, Kevin Bacon, and countless billionaires, and why “fun” is her most powerful business strategy. Along the way, Marcy opens up about sexism in the culinary world, building her brand without a blueprint, and finding purpose after burnout. It’s a story of creativity, survival, and joy — the messy kind that makes a life worth celebrating.

Key Moments

🎭 From Bronx Kid to Performing Arts Dreamer
How a bold teenager chased art, broke expectations, and followed her creative instincts.

🏡 The Commune Years: Learning the Hard Way About Belonging & Failure
The Vermont commune experiment — and the messy lessons it left behind.

🍳 From “Let’s Make a Deal” to Le Cordon Bleu
How depression, a mother’s push, and Paris changed everything.

👩‍🍳 Breaking Barriers in a Male-Dominated Kitchen
Being one of the first women at the CIA — and facing sexism head-on.

 🍽️ From Miserable Chef to Accidental Entrepreneur
The bizarre lunch that led to her first big break — thanks to Ed Koch.

💡 Reinvention & Risk: How Marcy Accidentally Invented Wedding Planning
The Tony Robbins insight that pushed her to quit misery and start her business.

💰 The Pricing Wake-Up Call: Why It Took 25 Years to Stop Undervaluing Herself
Marcy’s candid money talk: from flat fees to millionaire weddings — and learning her worth.

🥂 The Queen of Fun: Turning Every Party Into Living Theater
How she brings joy, surprise, and connection into every event — even for billionaires.

– 💬 Real Talk: Boundaries, Asking for Help & The Power of the Specific Ask
Why vague “pick your brain” requests don’t work — and how to ask for help with confidence.

Send us Fan Mail

Email us: [email protected]

To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.

Kelly Kopp, is now known as “New York City Kopp,” influencer, photographer, tour guide But at 40 years old, Kelly lost everything—his house in the mortgage crisis, his restaurant job, his health (without insurance), and watched his best friend, Sandy, die of cancer. Sitting poolside in Orlando contemplating how people reach their breaking point, Sandy's death became his wake-up call to "go live." He moved to New York City with just a suitcase, discovered photography, and built a social media empire as "New York City Kopp." This raw conversation explores how devastating loss can become the catalyst for reinvention, the power of laser focus, and finding joy in the most unexpected places.

Topic Covered 

The Years "Wasted" Doing What You Were Supposed To Do: Working as a manager in Orlando for about 8 years before his pivot.

The Economic Earthquake You Didn't See Coming "I bought a house in Orlando... I ended up losing the house. And that was the beginning of the domino effect."

When Your Body Sends An Invoice Your Career Can't Pay At 40, Kelly experiences chest pain and stress, goes to ER without health insurance, ends up in cardiac unit for a week with tests and a blockage scare requiring a stent.

The Compound Crisis That Breaks The Formula: "It was just so stressful. I lost my job. I lost my house, I'm in the hospital... Everything was against me... I didn't think things could get worse, but they continued to get worse."

When Loss Doesn't Care About Your Deadlines: "She got diagnosed with cancer and it was quick from diagnosis to her passing away... it was a huge, huge impact on me."

The Crisis That Makes You Understand Why People Just Stop

The breaking point: "There was a point where I was sitting at the edge of my pool looking in the pool thinking... I could understand how people could get to the point and be like, I just can't do it anymore."

The Terror Of Reinventing Yourself When You "Should Have Figured It Out By Now." 

Being Your Own Hype Man When You're Running On Empty: "Sometimes I do have to motivate myself... I'll read some motivational books or something... watch something that's motivational... that'll kick me out of this little bit of a funk."

The always-on problem: "In the back of my mind I'm thinking I could do a video right now... It is challenging because... I'm like, hold on one second. I just gotta do a quick photo. I gotta do a quick video."

Show Notes: 

Follow Kelly on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newyorkcitykopp/#

Follow Kelly on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newyorkcitykopp

Follow Kelly on TikTok: https://www.instagram.com/newyorkcitykopp

Kelly Kopp Tours: https://newyorkcitykopp.com/

Send us Fan Mail

Email us: [email protected]

To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.

Could getting fired be the best thing that ever happened to you? In this deeply personal episode of The Messy Parts, journalist Brooke Baldwin sits down with Maryam to discuss her journey from heartbreak to healing after she was let go from her dream job at CNN. Brooke talks about speaking truth to power, walking through fear, and redefining success on her own terms. The two explore what happens when your identity is tied to your career — and how to rebuild when it all unravels. Whether you’re facing a layoff, a breakup, or a life transition, Brooke’s story will help you remember: sometimes losing it all is how you finally find yourself.

Key Moments:

Trusting Your Gut: When You Know Something’s Off
Brooke shares how that inner “spidey sense” told her something wasn’t right at work—and why we so often ignore it.

Kill Them with Kindnes💄
How politeness and perfectionism can hold women back and the high cost of always saying yes.

When Your Dream Job Stops Feeling Like One 💔
Brooke reflects on how the news industry changed, and how her joy slowly faded at CNN.

Being Sidelined and Staying Silent 🤐
What it feels like to be removed from your own job and how masking pain becomes a survival skill in corporate culture.

Speak Up (Before It’s Too Late) 🗣️
Brooke reveals what she wishes she’d done differently and how to find the courage to speak up with both grace and strength.

Fired but Not Free Yet 🔒
The truth behind her on-air goodbye, the NDA that silenced her, and the emotional toll of pretending everything was fine.

The Charade of the Perfect Life 🎭
Brooke connects her workplace silence to her childhood, where appearances mattered more than truth.

When It All Unravels: Career + Marriage 💥
Two major endings collide, and Brooke learns that sometimes losing everything can be the start of becoming yourself.

Make Your Own Money 💲
Brooke explains how saving money over the years gave her the freedom to bet on herself after she was fired and her marriage fell apart.

Healing at the Hoffman Institute 🌿
A week of deep emotional work helps Brooke find clarity, courage, and connection after loss.

Living Without the Armor ✨
Brooke embraces her natural self, her truth, and the “messy middle”—and reminds us that the mess is life, so we might as well surrender to it.

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Thank you for listening.

Is your biggest mess also your best teacher? Broadway veteran Michael McElroy tells Maryam about his remarkable journey from rejection at Carnegie Mellon to leading Broadway casts and founding the award-winning Broadway Inspirational Voices. He and Maryam explore how to find purpose after burnout, the power of community and service, and what happens when you finally stop waiting for permission to begin. Michael opens up about identity, faith, and the messy truth behind resilience — reminding us that the hardest lessons can help us develop our greatest strengths.

01:30 – 🙏 The Son of a Preacher: Growing Up in a Life of Service
Michael reflects on his Cleveland roots, family faith, and how service shaped his art and leadership.

06:30 – 💔 From Golden Child to Rejection at Carnegie Mellon
Michael shares the painful story of being cut from his college program — and what it taught him about resilience and self-worth.

09:30 – 💪 The Do-Over That Changed Everything
With his mother’s support, Michael fought his way back into the program, learning how to turn pain into purpose.

14:00 – 🔄 Stop Reacting, Start Acting
Michael’s breakthrough moment — learning how to reclaim power by responding with intention, not reaction.

17:30 – 🎭 Teaching Life Through Art
 How Michael teaches young artists resilience, failure, and courage in an age of perfectionism.

19:30 – 💡 Breakthroughs and Busts
As Michael’s star climbs in NYC, he is also reminded how unpredictable the business can be and that he can’t attach his identity or his worth to his job.

26:00 – 🚀 Say Yes Before You’re Ready
Michael explains how leaning into side projects and passion work opened doors he never expected.

29:00 – ❤️ Healing Through Helping — Founding Broadway Inspirational Voices
The story behind his award-winning gospel choir and how service became a form of healing.

37:00 – 🔮 The Little Voice That Changes Everything
Michael describes the quiet inner voice that guided him to teaching — and how to trust your intuition when it’s time to pivot.

Send us Fan Mail

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To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.

Jonathan Merritt was a pastor’s son destined to preach — until he was publicly outed online and his life imploded. When faith, identity, and ambition collide — what do you do? Jonathan knows that question intimately. But through the wreckage came clarity, courage, and an entirely new way of living. In this candid episode, Jonathan tells Maryam how losing community, career, and certainty opened the door to authenticity, spirituality, and a renewed sense of purpose. Whether you’re navigating a career change, questioning what you believe, or trying to rebuild after loss, Jonathan’s story offers hope that healing starts with honesty — and that being messy is part of becoming whole.

00:01:45 – Growing Up in a Mega Church World 🙏
Jonathan shares what it was like being the child of a famous Southern Baptist pastor — living under constant pressure to appear “perfect.”

00:03:45 – Always Knew I Was Different 🌈
Jonathan opens up about knowing from childhood that he was “different” — and how that difference was seen as dangerous in his community.

00:10:15 – The High of Being Seen 👀
Jonathan describes his early writing success and the addictive rush of external validation — and how it left him feeling empty.

00:13:30 – Feeling Trapped in My Own Life 🌀
He shares how fear, faith, and career expectations left him feeling stuck — and how that became a lifelong trigger for anxiety.

00:17:00 – Preaching What I Didn’t Believe 💔
Jonathan confesses that he preached sermons he no longer believed, torn between loyalty to his community and honesty with himself. He wonders what he really wants to do with his life, and how he might find the courage to make a change.

00:21:00 – Outed — and Everything Changed ⚡️
The moment that shattered everything: Jonathan is publicly outed by someone he considered a friend, and forced to confront his family, his church, and his identity. Standing before thousands, he tells his truth — learning that vulnerability can invite compassion, not condemnation.

00:27:45 – Courage Takes Time ✨
Jonathan gathers the courage to make the biggest change yet: he sells everything and moves to New York to pursue his writing career, a leap of faith that begins his rebirth and new life in alignment.

00:34:00 – Finding Light in the Darkness
Jonathan draws on his spiritual roots, explaining how there is always light in the darkness, and how this mindset can keep anyone from falling into a pit of despair — even through the hardest times.

00:45:45 – Messy Is the New Strong 💫
Jonathan reflects on why he trusts “messy” more than “perfect” — and how real strength comes from embracing imperfection and truth.

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At 22, Jaclyn Johnson landed her dream magazine job — until she realized it paid less than her rent. That rejection set off a chain of bold decisions: launching a fashion blog, being sued by a former employer, losing a job she moved across the country to take, and eventually starting her own PR/branding agency. Jaclyn tells Maryam how she turned fear into fuel and turned Create & Cultivate from a side hustle into a brand she eventually sold for $22 million. 

Along the way, she learned what women aren’t taught and don’t discuss in business, why women sometimes don’t support one another professionally, and the magic that can happen when they do. Jaclyn doesn’t sugarcoat the toll success can take — panic attacks, burnout, isolation — but she also shows how failure, when faced head-on, can be the greatest creative act of all.

Key Moments

*  “You can’t eat makeup.” Learn why saying no to underpayment was the first bold move that shaped Jaclyn's multi-million-dollar career. 

* If you want to run your own business, you need to understand every role first. An early magazine internship taught Jaclyn Johnson a lesson most entrepreneurs miss: sales runs the show. She realized editorial might look glamorous, but it’s marketing and revenue that keep the lights on — and that knowing how every piece fits together is what makes a great founder. 

* Her advice for anyone just starting out: believe in yourself enough to show up. You might not be the expert today, but you can be tomorrow. Confidence comes from action, not perfection.

* Being the Squeaky Wheel Can Get You Fired — And Set You Free. Jaclyn Johnson shares how being the one who questions, challenges, and moves too fast ultimately got her fired… and turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened. Her story is a reminder: sometimes getting fired just means you’re meant to be your own boss

* Jaclyn shares the turning point when Create & Cultivate went from side project to full-blown brand. After one breakout event, major clients started reaching out — and she realized the momentum was real. Encouraged by a mentor to bet on herself instead of building for others, Jaclyn took the leap and never looked back

Send us Fan Mail

Email us: [email protected]

To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for listening.