In this conversation, David Polidi speaks with author and cultural critic Soraya Chemaly about the cultural mythology of resilience and what it means to truly heal after hardship.

In much of Western culture, resilience is framed as an individual trait. We are encouraged to bounce back quickly, return to productivity, and prove our strength by pushing through pain. Soraya challenges this narrative and invites us to reconsider resilience through a relational lens.

What if resilience is not primarily about individual toughness, but about connection?

Throughout the conversation, Soraya explores how narratives of resilience have been shaped by individualism, gender conformity, colonial thinking, and dominance based hierarchies. These narratives often isolate people rather than helping them heal. When resilience becomes synonymous with endurance and productivity, it can reinforce systems of power that separate us from one another.

David and Soraya explore how healing requires something very different. Healing often emerges through relational energy. It grows when people feel understood and connect with one another.

The conversation also explores how cognitive flexibility allows us to adapt to life’s changes rather than attempting to return to a past version of ourselves. Ultimately, the myth that resilience is only an individual achievement, is not only inaccurate but dangerous. Instead, we can understand resilience is something that also grows through relationship, compassion, and shared humanity.

• The cultural myth of resilience and the pressure to “bounce back”

“You have to be a daily pessimist but an eternal optimist.”

Soraya Chemaly reflects on the importance of holding both realism and hope at the same time. Strategic pessimism allows us to plan, organize, and act collectively, while long term optimism helps sustain movements for change and healing.

Soraya Chemaly is an award winning writer, speaker, and cultural critic whose work focuses on gender, power, culture, and social justice. She is the author of Rage Becomes Her and The Resilience Myth. Her writing has appeared in publications including The Atlantic, Time, The Guardian, and The Washington Post. Her work examines how cultural narratives shape our understanding of emotions, power, and identity.

Soraya Chemaly’s website

The Resilience Myth by Soraya Chemaly

Empowered Through Compassion explores trauma healing at the crossroads of Internal Family Systems, EMDR, and Motivational Interviewing. Through conversations with therapists, researchers, and thought leaders, the podcast examines how compassion, relational attunement, and integrative approaches to therapy can support deeper healing for individuals, couples, and communities.