The Terri Cole Show

How manipulatable are you?

When someone is using fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) to control you, do you recognize it, or not?

If not, or you've never heard of FOG, you're in the right place. This episode is all about the FOG technique, commonly used by narcissists and others to manipulate people to do what they want at all costs. I'm breaking down what it is and sharing real-life examples from my therapy practice to help you become less susceptible.

Note: the purpose of this episode is to educate you on how people will try to manipulate you, not to make diagnoses. People using one of these tactics in isolation (like guilt) does not automatically make them narcissists.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/709

I am so excited to have podcaster, actor, and author Amy Wilson on the show to talk about her newest book, Happy to Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser. I felt seen by Amy's essays and reflections, and I think you will, too.

We talked about so much– Amy's early introduction to putting others first by caring for her younger siblings, why modern productivity advice often just makes us feel bad, Amy's views on perfectionism, saying no and feeling scared, the freedom in saying "it's not for me," and the importance of being present. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/708

Have you ever wondered whether you feel drained because of what you're tolerating in life?

Whether it's a cluttered office space, messy car, side table overflowing with paperwork, or something bigger like a one-sided relationship or ineffective communication with your partner, what you're putting up with could be exhausting you more than you think.

So…what are you consistently putting up with that gets on your nerves or depletes you?

In this episode, we're looking at what we're tolerating in life– because we're not always aware of the things we put up with that make us low-grade aggravated and drained.

I hope you'll leave with more awareness around what you're putting up with and feel inspired to stop settling and make changes for a more fulfilling life.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/707

Today I'm so excited to have my friend, money expert Kate Northrup, on the show again. We chat about the relatively new relationship that women have with money, common blocks women have around money, and how you can improve your relationship with your finances. Plus: How creating a feeling of safety in your body can help you make smarter money choices!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/706

How curious are you?

Are you as curious as you used to be in your 20s when you were having new experiences more often?

Or have you become complacent with curiosity or too busy to cultivate it?

It recently struck me how important curiosity is to me. My husband, Vic, is the most curious person I know, and my friends are often original thinkers who enjoy questioning conventional wisdom, which I love.

Stoking curiosity also makes life more juicy and satisfying, which is why this episode is all about the different ways in which we can curate more of it.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/705

I am SO excited to welcome bestselling author and counseling psychologist, Gay Hendricks, to the show to talk about themes from two of his books, The Big Leap and Conscious Loving.

Gay has been a huge inspiration for me personally and professionally, and he makes psychological concepts easy to understand.

We talk about upper limit problems (self-sabotage) first, and then move into how to create epic relationships. Throughout the conversation, Gay shares invaluable wisdom from his own life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/704

Do you get offended if a date doesn't immediately get back to you?

How about when you ask a friend to call you later and they don't?

When you pass a stranger on the street and they glance at you, looking annoyed, do you assume their annoyance is directed at you?

Or do you cut others slack in these situations, rather than take it personally?

In this episode, I'm sharing what the research says are the four dimensions of the tendency for interpersonal victimhood, breaking down the difference between having a victim mentality and being a victim, and giving you ideas on how you can shift from a victim mindset into a growth mindset.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/703

I am so excited to have my pal, award-winning journalist and menopause advocate, Tamsen Fadal, back on the show to celebrate her new book How To Menopause, which I had the honor of contributing to!

It has been amazing to watch Tamsen step into being a midlife mentor. She is truly leading the menopause movement we desperately need and I am here for it. I don't know about you, but it wasn't fun going through perimenopause and menopause with next to zero knowledge and no one publicly talking about it.

Tamsen shares how watching her mother go through menopause inspired her to cultivate a strong, shame-free community where women can talk about their menopause journeys. We're all going to go through it. Why not empower ourselves and the next generations with more knowledge? I think that's exactly what How to Menopause will do. ❤️

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/702

I am so excited to have Breeshia Wade, author of Grieving While Black: An Antiracist Take on Oppression and Sorrow, on the show to talk about fear of future loss and Elemental Grief™. She explains some ideas from the book: The way that fear of future loss has shaped society, and the responsibility that majority groups have to attend to their own feelings of fear so that they do not project those feelings onto members of oppressed minorities. Breeshia also shares her experience attending Stanford University as a Black student, and we chat about fear of future loss in our marriages.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/701

Does it often feel like life is a grind of checking off endless to-do lists, where you barely have a moment for yourself?

The emphasis on hustle culture in society has conditioned many of us to believe that rest and reward must be earned through hard work.

It's no wonder "little treat culture," a trend on social media that encourages us to use small rewards to stay motivated, is exploding in popularity.

As a little treat gal for many years, I want to talk about the power of motivating yourself by using little treats throughout your day, the psychology behind why they work, and how treats can make life a little sweeter.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/700