What actually goes on when you attend a session with a sex therapist and what are some of the tools they use to try and help singles and couples to overcome their challenges around sex.

After a hundred or more episodes, in which I suspect I have overlooked many of the practical aspects of sex therapy, I decided to use my conversation with Dr. Denise Renye to get into the nitty gritty of her profession.

We begin by addressing the natural nervousness many of her clients feel when stepping into therapy for the first time. Dr. Renye reassures us that this is completely normal and shares practical tools to help ease into the process, creating an environment where they can feel safe and understood. She then introduced me to the "Wheel of Consent," a powerful tool that clarifies how we can navigate our desires and boundaries.

We also talked about the practice of sensate focus, a method that encourages couples to reconnect with their partner by focusing on touch and sensation rather than performance. This approach invites them to shift their attention toward presence and shared experiences, helping to reignite the spark in their intimate lives. She reminds us that intimacy isn’t about perfection—it’s about being present with one another.

We also explored the importance of setting boundaries, a vital part of building trust and safety in any relationship. Dr. Renye guided me through ways we can establish and respect boundaries, helping us create relationships that feel secure and fulfilling. For those of us who may struggle with performance anxiety, she introduces the "4D Wheel," a tool designed to help us reframe our anxieties and approach intimacy with curiosity and compassion.

I hope you find these tools useful and would encourage you to find out more about them.

You can find Dr. Denise Renye here.

00:00 Understanding Sex Therapy

02:47 Navigating Nervousness in Therapy

06:08 The Wheel of Consent Explained

08:55 Comparing Consent Tools

11:46 Sensate Focus and Its Benefits

14:52 Re-engaging with Intimacy

18:07 Exploring Boundaries in Intimacy

20:59 The 4D Wheel and Performance Anxiety

24:00 Resources for Sexual Health

27:07 Closing Thoughts on Intimacy

Dr. Denise Renye has specialised training and has worked directly with people in the areas of sexuality, relationships, states of consciousness, psychedelic integration and intimacy. She holds several degrees and accreditations. You can find out more about her here.

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