In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m 28 and been with my partner for four years. He’s always been the one to initiate sex and I thought he liked it that way. But, now he’s told me he’s sick of it and wants me to take the lead—not just with initiating, but during sex as well. I have no idea how to do this. Can you help?

2) I had a bit of a thing with my neighbor. We’re both single, but have teenage children and didn’t want them to know anything was going on. Two months in, we got busted by my daughter and now it’s in the open. The kids are delighted—but I’m not interested anymore. I liked the excitement of sneaking around and having hot sex. I never did want a relationship, but now feel like it’s expected. What do I do?

3) I grew up with parents who had an open relationship and were very open about sex. I’m now 24 and want to settle down with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t trust me because of my parents’ attitude toward sex. They’ve made it plain they think I’m too young to marry and should be having fun. How do I convince her I’m not like them and want to live a normal, stable married life?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a woman who has no problem having an orgasm on her own, but it happens rarely with my partner. I’ve told him how I want to be stimulated, but sex always feels like something that’s done to satisfy his needs and mine are an afterthought. He knows I don’t orgasm through intercourse, but still asks me every single time if I have. When I say no, he begrudgingly gives me oral sex or uses his fingers, but it’s half-hearted because he’s had his orgasm. I’m feeling increasingly resentful. How do I tackle this?

2) My wife and I are in our late 60s, fit and healthy, and have been happily married for 40 years. Sex has always been a small part of our marriage, but it was adventurous and good. Since menopause, which she seemed to sail through, both sex and intimacy have disappeared. We talk about it now and then, but nothing happens. I don't necessarily want penetrative sex, I just miss holding her and showing her I love her rather than just saying it. I feel lonely.

3) I'm a straight woman in my 30s and recently met an amazing guy. I ended it because of his smell. He doesn’t smell bad, just like he has a different chemistry to me. My gut said not to go there. Am I right to pay attention to this? Is it something that you can work with or get past, and how?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a 25-year-old straight woman and am not interested in a relationship right now. But, I do want sex. How and when do I bring this up with people I date—and do I have to?

2) My boyfriend of four years is suddenly doing new things in bed which is making me suspicious. I’ve always been the higher libido one; now he’s the one initiating sex and wanting to try new things. I feel like maybe he’s attracted to someone else and this is what’s firing him up. I don’t want to ask because I don’t want to know, but it’s making me uneasy. What should I do?

3) My wife and I went to a remote beach in Greece while on holiday last year. It was just us on the beach, but then another couple turned up, stripped off and, in full sight of us, had sex. We both pretended not to look, but obviously did. That night we had the most amazing sex. But whenever I try to talk about it with my wife, she blocks discussion and called me a pervert for bringing it up. I felt the whole experience unlocked a moment of sexual magic. Should I drop it, or try to talk about it again in the hope of having better sex? 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) How do I make myself desire sex more? I’ve tried everything to turn myself on but nothing seems to work. I have never had a high sex drive and probably never will. But I would like to get to the point where sex is remotely appealing. Do you have any advice I won’t have already heard?

2) I know my husband watches porn—we’ve always had a laugh about it. But I was surprised to see the kind of porn he watches. I couldn’t resist checking his history—I did it on a whim—and now wish I hadn’t. There was some weird stuff on there. Is this something to worry about? I figured he just watched "normal" porn.

3) My wife of 23 years has just left me—for another woman. She’s been straight the whole of her life and we have two children. I am obviously upset, but not sure how seriously to take this. My male friends tell me to hang in there and that she will come back. She says she’s not lesbian but fell in love with a person. Is it more likely she will change her mind because it’s a woman not a man and this is not her usual thing? It’s been six months now.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My wife and I have had sex in our garden, but she wants to try it in semi-public. We want the thrill of thinking we might be caught, but not actually get caught. Do you have any tips on how to go about this?

2) I’m 27 and just got engaged to my girlfriend of seven years. At the start, we had sex once or twice a week, but now we barely touch each other. We have discussed this many times and agree to prioritize sex, but it never happens. Once every 1-2 months we masturbate each other but that’s it, and it’s not enough for me (though it is for her). Is this how it’s going to be when we marry? I love her, but I’m frustrated.

3) My wife had an affair six months ago. We’ve been to therapy and are doing well, but haven’t attempted to have sex yet. I feel like I can forgive her, but I’m worried images of the two of them together will haunt me when we get physical. How should we tackle this?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’d really like to try using a whip as a sex toy. My partner is up for it, but can you advise on what’s best to buy for a beginner and how to incorporate it into sex?

2) Our relationship is really good but my wife and I argue about sex a lot. Do sex-life problems suggest there are problems elsewhere in the relationship? It’s a perpetual problem that never seems to get solved.

3) Can you give me any advice on massaging my husband’s prostate during sex? I’d never done it before, but we're both keen to try.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m intrigued to know what happens at a chem sex party. I’ve got a few adventurous girlfriends and we’re all quite keen to give it a try. Would you advise it?

2) I know it’s normal to go through periods when you don’t find your partner attractive. But when should you worry that it’s more than a passing phase?

3) I’m struggling with premature ejaculation. After 30 seconds of penetration, I struggle to hold back and constantly have to pull out. I think it’s psychological. We tried a penis sleeve, which worked at first, but we both enjoy it so much it backfired. I tried pelvic floor exercises as well, but to no avail. My wife loves the vibrator/penetration combination, but it’s such a fight for me it ruins the mood.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’ve just started seeing a guy who is really into giving ‘facials.’ I’ve done it before, and don’t honestly mind, but what’s the psychology behind it? Why do so many guys like doing it, and is it degrading to agree?

2) I’ve only ever had an orgasm once without a vibrator, and that was after a long sex session with me on top. I’d like to start masturbating without vibration, but I can orgasm within seconds using my bullet vibe, and it feels like it's going to take hours using my fingers. After a bit, I give in and reach for the vibrator. Any hints on how to stick with it?

3) Is it normal to have never felt sexual desire? I am a 23-year-old man and have never had a girlfriend and never masturbated. I watched porn once out of curiosity, but it didn’t make me aroused in any way. I don’t have any issue with sex and am not aware of any trauma in my childhood. I like women as friends, but just don’t have any desire to have sex with them. I’m not attracted to men, either. I’ve read about asexuality, and I’m guessing that’s me, though am wondering if there’s any research on whether this might change as I get older.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I love my husband and I’m very attracted to him. But for some reason, I have to picture a scene from porn to reach orgasm with him. I’m very much in my head when having sex in general, and find myself thinking about a million things that aren’t related to sex during it. How can I change this pattern of having to play these images to climax? Is it something you’ve heard of before?

2) I have been seeing an amazing man for two years. He’s chivalrous, loving, we have sex often, and it’s good. But, he seems to be permanently horny and comments constantly about my bum and boobs and how much he loves my body. Then he gropes me and gets turned on. I don’t want that attention when I’m doing the washing up or reading a book or watching telly. I’ve tried laughing it off or being flattered or just moving his hands away, but when I don’t respond the way he wants, he gets moody.

After much prodding on my part, he admitted he feels rejected and hurt when I don’t react favorably to his advances. I love how attentive he is, but I feel stifled by it when I’m trying to have time by myself. How can I politely decline the attention without him feeling rejected and getting in another mood that lasts for days?

3) My daughter is 12 years old and we’ve been pretty open with her about sex, body parts, and how things work. I grew up in a house where there was zero sex talk, which resulted in lots of sexual issues I had to deal with later in my life in a therapist's office. So, I’m determined to raise my daughter without the shame I was brought up with. When she hit puberty, I mentioned masturbation to her. I told her that this is a normal thing lots of women do and enjoy, and I mentioned that there is a spot on a women’s body which feels intensely pleasurable. I told her we could talk about it more if she wanted, thinking this would probably be in a couple of years. But, a few days later she asked me to show her the spot and explain what to do to get pleasure. The question blindsided me. We were driving, so I told her we could talk about it later. She’s forgotten about it momentarily, but now I’m at a loss of what to do. I want to be honest and open, but she’s only 12! Is it too early to show/talk about that stuff? If not, what’s the best way to go about it? Any advice will be much appreciated!

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Kelsey recently said she faked many orgasms while married. What is the general feeling about faking it now? How do most people react when they find out their partner’s faked it? Surely men think it’s a betrayal in the relationship?

2) Help! The inevitable has happened: sex with my husband of six years now feels like I’m having sex with my best friend. We’ve both been married before and vowed this wouldn’t happen to us—but it has. I know you’ve talked about this before and, conceptually, I understand why it happens. Can you skip straight to the how-to-fix-it part with some practical tips that make a difference?

3) I am a 35-year-old guy and I recently moved to Europe. I’m currently working in a restaurant as a server. Recently, I was serving a couple—a man and a woman. We had a short conversation during their meal about all the usual things. But after I brought them the bill, the man asked me outright if I would be interested in meeting his wife later and having sex with her. I know that people in Europe tend to be more open about their sex lives, and I’m aware that there are many swinger clubs. But what does this mean about their relationship? Is this kind of thing normal? What would be your thoughts on this situation, and how should I respond?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.