In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m 32 and should be at my prime sexually, but feel like I’m an intensely boring lover. I want to be wild and uninhibited, and the sort of lover men think about for the rest of their lives. But I’m so vanilla, I don’t even know how to be wildly sexy, or what sort of things that would include.

2) I’m happily married, but, like anyone in a monogamous relationship, a bit bored. I have never had a threesome, but would love to have one. My fear is that even asking my wife to have one will lead to her never talking to me ever again. How can I suss her out without causing issues?

3) Our last ever question on SexTok isn’t a question—it’s a round-up of what Kelsey and Tracey think are the most important things to do if you want to be a happy couple. Some tips to live your life by...

To contact Tracey: Email her at traceycoxtherapy@gmail or message her on Instagram @traceycoxsexauthor

Starting in 2026, Tracey is offering a problem solving service, based on decades of writing and researching sex and relationships. It's a unique three-session package done via Zoom, chat, email, or phone. In the first session, you'll tell her your problem. In the second, she'll suggest solutions. In the third session, she'll troubleshoot and come up with a plan for the future. Straightforward, practical advice that's simple to follow—and works.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m dating again after a divorce and have met a new man I really like, but I’m convinced he’s faking orgasms. Why would he do this, and should I say something?

2) I’ve been with my new girlfriend for four months, and although I’ve given her oral sex every single time we make love, not once has she offered to reciprocate. I’ve made jokes about it, but she says it's just never been something she's keen on, although she doesn't have any real objections. I thought things would change as she felt more comfortable, but they haven’t. How do I handle this?

3) I have a smaller than average penis. It’s never been a problem with girlfriends because I give lots of oral sex. It doesn’t bother me—if anything, it’s made me a better lover because I can’t rely on penetration. But every girlfriend has registered surprise when she first sees it. Should I warn potential lovers beforehand, or just make a joke when all is revealed, which is what I do now? I don’t want to make women feel uncomfortable.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My wife has an extremely high libido. I know that sounds like every man’s dream, but it’s not. My sex drive has never been that high, but hers is through the roof. I thought we’d even out when we had kids, and her libido did calm down for a while. But three years later, she’s wanting sex every day. It’s emasculating, and I don’t know how to deal with this. She’s okay when I say 'no,' but I worry she’ll seek sex elsewhere.

2) I’ve just gotten together with my boyfriend and we’re going to stay with my parents for the holidays. We’re in our early 20s and don’t want to go without sex for two weeks, but I also would die if my parents heard us or guessed. Any tips for quiet, undetectable sex?

3) My new girlfriend is really into what she calls 'power games.' I have never tried anything like that but am intrigued. She knows all about it and I am guessing she will take charge, but can you give me a heads up for the type of thing I might expect?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My partner does the same moves in the same order every single time we have sex. How do I break the routine without bruising his ego? I like what he does, but can’t be doing this for the rest of my life.

2) My boyfriend loses his erection during sex, but not when he’s having solo sex. How do we fix this without making it worse?

3) I feel guilty that my fantasies never involve my partner. Is that normal?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I have just found out my wife fakes her orgasms sometimes. We’ve been together for seven years. She recently asked me if we could use her vibrator during intercourse so she doesn’t need to fake it. I am shocked. I had no idea, and feel hurt and angry that she didn’t tell me this before. Sh explained that she finds it difficult to climax during intercourse, which is interesting because none of my other partners have had this issue.

2) With my consent, my boyfriend films us every single time we have sex—which is a lot. We’ve been together 18 months and his libido is still as high as it was at the start. He says he watches the videos and uses them to masturbate. Is this normal, or could it be an indication that he is a sex addict or up to no good? We’re both in our 30s.

3) I have a very average sex life. My libido is low and I’m unadventurous in bed. I have a good relationship with my mother and asked her if this was the case with her. She said it was. Does this mean you can blame your parents if you have a rubbish sex life?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Why do orgasms feel so much better when you’re on your own? When it’s just me and my vibrator, they are consistently intense and satisfying. It’s very hit and miss with my partner, even if he’s giving me oral sex (which is the only thing that works for me).

2) In one of your previous podcasts, Tracey suggested that couples who’d been together for years might spice things up by visiting a sex club. My wife of two decades and I just did this—and we LOVED it. We just watched and soaked in the intensely erotic atmosphere. Now, we want to go back and this time have sex with each other at the club—maybe even invite others to join. Any advice on how to do this? How do we decide on our boundaries, and how do we stick to them in the heat of the moment?

3) We only ever have ‘efficient’ sex because we’re tired parents. How do we stop being productivity machines and start being lovers again?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’ve been married a long time and our kids are about to graduate—the pressure is finally off. I’m as happy as you can be with someone you’ve been with for 25-odd years. Meaning, I’m also bored. I’ve paid my dues, and I want some excitement. There’s a man in my life that’s paying me a lot of attention. Am I bad for thinking that if I’m discreet and careful, I kind of deserve to have fun?

2) Do you have a solution for the age-old problem for everyone who has sex: If one of you orgasms first—usually the woman, because ‘she comes first’ is a good motto—how do you maintain interest? Once you’ve climaxed, the horniness disappears and everything is half-hearted.

3) What is the etiquette these days for STI testing with a new partner? I’ve only had one sexual partner my whole life and am out there dating again. I know what’s recommended, but how many people follow these guidelines? I don’t want to look out of touch.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m reading lots of things on social media that suggest people who are emotionally volatile are better in bed. Is there any truth in this?

2) Everyone talks about how having kids ruins your sex life. But no one talks about your wife never wanting sex ever again afterwards. It’s been six years since our last child was born, and we now have sex around three times a year. She has zero interest, and tells me I’m not being supportive for wanting sex with her when she’s so busy.

3) I am a man in his mid-50s and have carried this for years: When I was 12 years old, my mother walked into my bedroom while I was masturbating and humiliated me for it. This has left me with intense shame ever since. How do you get over something like this? I feel uncomfortable even when a sex scene comes on when watching TV with my wife.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m concerned about my daughter. She’s a virgin at 24. Once upon a time, a parent’s fear was teenage pregnancy. I’m worried because she’s not having sex at all. She’s beautiful, bright, funny, and has everything going for her, but has never had a boyfriend. I couldn’t wait to have sex. What’s going on, and should I talk about it with her?

2) My boyfriend and I love sex toys. We have lots of toys for me, but nothing for him. He’s not into anal play. Other than a penis ring, is there anything else I could treat him to?

3) I have a job that requires me to work in a different country quite frequently, often for three or four months at a time. Can you give some practical tips for intimate video calls? My wife is confused by what we’d do, and I don’t want it to feel awkward. Should we ‘finish’ on camera, or would that be too much?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Can you explain what role-playing games are? What would you recommend for guys, so it doesn’t come off as weird when I suggest it? I want something that women would find sexy and attractive. Also, do you really need to buy expensive costumes?

2) After I’ve had intercourse with my girlfriend, she often asks me to give her oral sex if she hasn’t had an orgasm. Am I being squeamish for not doing this?

3) How do you stop friends from meddling in your relationships? My friends dissect everything: how fast a guy texts back and the emojis he uses; they pour over his social media and put a negative spin on everything. I know they’re being protective because I’ve made some bad choices in the past, but they almost bully me into ending relationships they think I shouldn’t be in. I don’t want to lose their friendship, and I’ve asked them to butt out, but they continue to give unasked for opinions.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.