In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I welcome back Michelle Jermy, psychotherapist and founder of The Yoni Therapist, to discuss her groundbreaking work on women’s sexual health, low libido, and the often-overlooked relational aspects of desire.

Michelle shares her mission to help clinicians and patients better address issues like low libido, pain during penetration, and the pressures many women feel to “perform” sexually. While current clinical tools like the Female Sexual Function Index, which I have never heard mentioned previously, focus on biomedical factors, Michelle emphasises the need to explore relational and emotional dynamics.

She is developing a new toolkit to help clinicians ask deeper, more relevant questions, such as, “Do you feel pressured to have sex to maintain your relationship?” or “Do you know what brings you sexual pleasure?”

The conversation highlights how women’s sexual health is often dismissed or under explored in clinical settings. We discussed the importance of clinicians adopting a more expansive view of sex—not just focusing on penetration, but including a full spectrum of intimacy and pleasure. Michelle also stresses how understanding basic wellness factors, such as sleep, mental health, and physical touch, is essential for restoring desire. We tend to think of libido as purely driven by hormones, but as we discussed in this episode and I have discussed in previous conversations with doctors such as Lauren Streicher MD, it’s much more complex than that!

Michelle’s upcoming research project aims to train clinicians and provide tools for better addressing women’s sexual health concerns. For patients, she advocates for proactive communication with healthcare providers, even suggesting template letters to help women articulate their needs confidently.

It’s so important that we normalise conversations about women’s pleasure and sexual health, in order to bridge the gap between patients and clinicians.

Why Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors? Because Desire Never Retires.

Hi, I’m Suzanne Noble, author of the bestselling The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir, and passionate advocate for sexual pleasure at every age. If you’re curious about improving your intimate relationships as you age, then Sex Advice for Seniors is your ultimate resource.

For just £6.99/month, you’ll unlock a wealth of benefits designed to inspire, educate, and empower you to live a more fulfilled, pleasure-filled life:

What You’ll Get as a Subscriber:

* Exclusive Content: Every week, I share personal stories, erotic experiences, podcast highlights, sex toy reviews, or fresh perspectives—all behind a paywall for subscribers only.

* Practical Resources: Receive a free copy of my book Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, packed with tools to enhance your pleasure.

* Private Access: Join a private chat community where you can ask me (or other members) personal questions in a supportive, judgment-free space.

* Advocacy in Action: Your subscription helps me advocate for sexual pleasure in later life, from speaking at events to distributing practical guides like Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life. Together, we can smash those final taboos around aging and intimacy.

Why Our Readers Love It:

* “Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

* “I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

* “Straight non-judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

By subscribing, you’re not just accessing valuable content—you’re joining a movement to challenge outdated taboos and celebrate the joy of intimacy at every stage of life.

Let’s keep the conversation going. For just £6.99/month (or £49.99/year), you can help ensure that the right to pleasure and connection doesn’t end with age.

Subscribe now and rediscover why desire never retires.

Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires.

In this week’s episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I sat down with Sabrina Baldini, a TED speaker, sex educator, and self-proclaimed “geriatric millennial,” to explore how ADHD impacts sex, relationships, and intimacy. As someone diagnosed with ADHD herself, Sabrina provided fascinating insights into how neurodivergence shapes sexual behavior and emotional dynamics. And, if you’ve ever wondered whether you may have ADHD, then this conversation may turn out to be a real eye opener!

ADHD often manifests as extremes, hyperfocus or complete disinterest, which can significantly impact sexual experiences. Sabrina explained how people with ADHD may experience intense bursts of desire or crave novelty to stay engaged. This drive for dopamine can lead to risky behaviours, but it can also be channeled into creative ways to keep sex exciting, such as role play, sexting, or trying new activities.

We discussed the challenges of mismatched sex drives, emotional regulation, and rejection sensitivity, which are common for people with ADHD. Sabrina highlighted how kink can be a powerful tool for those with ADHD, as its structure and clear boundaries provide a sense of safety and reduce the risk of failure. From brats and power dynamics to playful exploration, kink offers an outlet for creativity and novelty while fostering connection.

Sabrina also illuminated the broader need to redefine sex as more than just penetration. By expanding our understanding of intimacy and pleasure, we can create more fulfilling connections… whether or not ADHD is part of the equation.

This conversation was a real eye opener for me and if you’re curious about the intersection of neurodivergence and intimacy, I encourage you to have a listen! Whether you’re neurotypical or neurodivergent, Sabrina reminds us to stay curious, playful, and open to exploring what works for you and your partner.

You can find Sabrina’s website here.

00:00 Introduction to ADHD and Sex Life

02:46 Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Relationships

05:33 Neurodivergence and Sexual Health

08:23 The Role of Novelty in Sexual Engagement

11:20 Authority Dynamics in Sexual Relationships

13:57 Hyperfocus and Its Effects on Sexual Experience

16:54 Navigating Rejection Sensitivity in Relationships

19:45 Kink as a Tool for ADHD and Sexual Exploration

22:43 Defining Sex and Intimacy

25:35 Conclusion and Final Thoughts on ADHD and Sexuality

Why Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors? Because Desire Never Retires.

Hi, I’m Suzanne Noble, author of the bestselling The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir, and passionate advocate for sexual pleasure at every age. If you’re curious about improving your intimate relationships as you age, then Sex Advice for Seniors is your ultimate resource.

For just £6.99/month, you’ll unlock a wealth of benefits designed to inspire, educate, and empower you to live a more fulfilled, pleasure-filled life:

What You’ll Get as a Subscriber:

* Exclusive Content: Every week, I share personal stories, erotic experiences, podcast highlights, sex toy reviews, or fresh perspectives—all behind a paywall for subscribers only.

* Practical Resources: Receive a free copy of my book Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, packed with tools to enhance your pleasure.

* Private Access: Join a private chat community where you can ask me (or other members) personal questions in a supportive, judgment-free space.

* Advocacy in Action: Your subscription helps me advocate for sexual pleasure in later life, from speaking at events to distributing practical guides like Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life. Together, we can smash those final taboos around aging and intimacy.

Why Our Readers Love It:

* “Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

* “I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

* “Straight non-judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

By subscribing, you’re not just accessing valuable content—you’re joining a movement to challenge outdated taboos and celebrate the joy of intimacy at every stage of life.

Let’s keep the conversation going. For just £6.99/month (or £49.99/year), you can help ensure that the right to pleasure and connection doesn’t end with age.

Subscribe now and rediscover why desire never retires.

Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires.

On this week’s episode, I covered a topic I’ve never covered before: pegging. So strap onto your strap-on, this is going to be an out there ride!

Joining me was Luna Matatas, a Toronto-based sex and pleasure educator with 15+ years of experience in kink, anal play, and Femdom. Luna’s expertise and humour made this conversation both fun and very spicy.

Pegging, in simple terms, is when a cisgender woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a cisgender male partner. Beyond the physical act, it explores vulnerability and gender role subversion, which many find deeply thrilling. Or not.

When it comes to pegging, my personal experience is that it’s like Marmite - the sticky brown stuff that the British love to put on their bread that tastes of beef stock. It’s personal whether you love it or loathe it. (Maybe that’s not quite the right analogy but I’m certain you know what I mean). And same goes for pegging. I know men whom became obsessed after a pegging session and a bigger group that think that any form of anal play means they are almost certainly gay.

My personal opinion is that exploring our errogonous zones is one of life’s greatest pleasures so why should bums be off limit? However, when it comes to pegging, there are a few ground rules that make the whole experience much more pleasurable.

Here are Luna’s practical tips:

* Preparation Matters: Start small, warm up with external stimulation, and always use plenty of lube. As Luna says, “If you think you have enough lube, add more.”

* Communication is Key: When bringing up pegging, focus on the feelings or desires behind the fantasy. This opens the door to mutual exploration without pressure.

* Aftercare is Essential: Emotional and physical check-ins post-pegging are vital. Whether it’s cuddling, talking, or a warm bath, aftercare helps everyone feel grounded.

We also discussed how societal attitudes toward pleasure and masculinity are shifting, with younger generations embracing curiosity and shedding shame.

This conversation was a reminder to stay curious and open to new experiences. Luna was an absolute hoot, and I can’t wait to have her back to dive into more topics like Femdom. Until next time, take care and remember: desire doesn’t retire!

00:00 Introduction to Pegging and Its Appeal

02:51 Understanding the Mechanics of Pegging

05:38 The Emotional Aspects of Pegging

08:28 Power Dynamics in Pegging

11:19 Communication and Consent in Pegging

14:20 Tools and Techniques for Pegging

17:08 Building Confidence in Pegging

19:47 Aftercare and Recovery

22:50 Societal Changes and Attitudes Towards Pegging

You can find Luna Matatas here.

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review, podcast highlights or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend and to distribute printed booklets of ‘Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life.’

Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr Shirin Lakhani, a GP, trained aesthetic technician, and founder of Elite Aesthetics, whom I first encountered during a preview for an upcoming Menopause Event called Pause and met in person this past weekend!

Our conversation explored the often-overlooked topic of sexual health and intimacy as we age, a subject on which we have a mutual interest!

Dr Lakhani’s work, including her Check Your Vulva campaign, encourages women to understand and embrace their anatomy, helping them recognise what’s normal and advocate for their health. (During the preview event the audience, composed mainly of women, were handed hand mirrors with Dr. Lakhani demonstrating the correct way to ‘check our vulva’ - fully clothed, I might add!).

We also discussed the lack of adequate menopause training for healthcare professionals, which often leads to women being dismissed or misdiagnosed when seeking help for conditions like genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM).

One of the highlights of our conversation was learning about the O-Shot and P-Shot treatments, which use platelet-rich plasma (PRP) to regenerate tissues and improve sexual function for both men and women. Dr Lakhani explained how these therapies enhance sensitivity, lubrication, and blood flow, making them effective solutions for issues such as painful sex, erectile dysfunction, and even stress incontinence.

For women with hormone-sensitive conditions, such as breast cancer survivors, the O-Shot provides a non-hormonal alternative to treatments like estrogen. These cutting-edge therapies are a game-changer, offering hope and healing to so many.

We also spoke about the importance of pelvic floor health, particularly for recovery after prostate surgery or childbirth. Dr Lakhani introduced me to advanced devices she uses in her practise that deliver thousands of pelvic floor contractions in just minutes, allowing patients to strengthen their pelvic muscles in ways they couldn’t achieve on their own. For men recovering from prostate cancer surgery, this kind of therapy can significantly reduce incontinence and improve erectile function - a real game changer.

Finally, we addressed the challenges of diagnosing and treating lichen sclerosus, a condition that can cause severe discomfort and is often mistaken for other issues like thrush. Dr Lakhani shared how PRP and radio frequency microneedling can restore tissue health and improve the quality of life for those affected.

This episode reinforced for me the importance of normalising conversations about sexual health at any age. We need better education, improved communication with healthcare providers, and greater access to treatments that can restore intimacy and joy in our lives.

To find out more about Dr. Shirin Lakhani, visit her website here.

00:00 Introduction to Menopause and Sexual Health

02:39 The Importance of Sexual Health Education

05:43 Understanding Menopause and Its Impact

08:22 Innovative Treatments: O-Shot and P-Shot Explained

11:12 Addressing Concerns: Hormones and Cancer Risks

14:09 The Role of Communication in Sexual Health

17:11 Success Stories and Future Campaigns

19:25 Understanding Gender Differences in Anatomy and Perception

20:05 The Importance of Pelvic Floor Health

23:59 Exploring Lichen Sclerosis: Causes and Treatments

28:34 Misdiagnosis and Awareness in Women's Health

33:23 Addressing Vaginal Atrophy and Its Treatment

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review, podcast highlights or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend and to distribute printed booklets of ‘Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life.’

Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

Marianne Power is the author of Love Me, a book chronicling her journey to reclaim her sexuality and confidence through exploring tantra and workshops on intimacy. Marianne shares her initial hesitation when first invited to a tantra retreat, describing it as terrifying, especially given her Irish Catholic upbringing and years of feeling disconnected from her sexuality. However, curiosity and a desire for deeper self-understanding led her to attend, and despite her fears, it became a life-changing experience.

She recounts her first retreat with tantra teacher Jan Day, whom I have interviewed for the podcast previously, where she faced exercises that challenged her preconceptions about touch, intimacy, and vulnerability. From walking toward strangers and making eye contact to simply saying "yes" or "no" to touch, she learned to confront insecurities and discover her true desires. For Marianne, the experience wasn’t just about sex; it was about reconnecting with her body, understanding her boundaries, and realizing that others shared similar fears and struggles.

Through this journey, Mary Ann also explored other tools and perspectives, such as reading The Ethical Slut, which helped her embrace a non-traditional lifestyle of "friends and lovers." She’s now confident that happiness doesn’t have to follow the societal script of marriage and children. Writing her book allowed her to share this message openly, despite initial fears about how her family and friends might react. She found that being honest about her experiences has inspired others to reconsider their own paths to intimacy and self-acceptance.

Looking ahead, Marianne continues living her unconventional life while working on her next book, Pay Me, which will explore her relationship with money and financial struggles. Her journey serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to explore intimacy, challenge societal expectations, and live authentically. Whether through tantra workshops, self-help books, or simply honest conversations, Marianne’s story demonstrates that reinvention is possible - no matter what your age!

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of talking with Juliette LaMontagne, the creator of the Substack newsletter Touch Me There: Reclaiming Desire, Power, and Purpose in Midlife. Juliette shared her inspiring journey of rediscovering intimacy and connection in her long-term marriage after years of estrangement, using a transformative framework called the Wheel of Consent.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your relationship or disconnected from your own pleasure, Juliette’s story is proof that it’s never too late to reignite desire. For me, it was a pleasure to talk to someone who had lived experience of being in a sexless marriage rather than the person counselling others on how to reignite intimacy in their relationship.

Juliette explained that the Wheel of Consent, developed by Dr. Betty Martin, is a tool for exploring intimacy through four dynamics: serving, accepting, taking, and allowing. She and her husband, after years of struggle and separation, used this framework to rebuild trust and connection.

They started with small, structured exercises, like simply placing hands on her sock-covered feet, and gradually worked through deeper layers of intimacy, including exploring desires they hadn’t known how to express before. As Juliette described, it’s not about grand gestures but about learning to communicate touch as a gift and rediscovering each other in new ways.

We also talked about how important it is to start with yourself. Juliette shared her personal journey of healing, which began with somatic sex work and even psychedelic-assisted therapy to reconnect with her own body and desires. She emphasized the importance of curiosity, whether it's through exploring frameworks like the Wheel of Consent or diving into shadow work and archetypes to uncover hidden longings. For her, this journey wasn’t just about saving her marriage but about rediscovering her own vitality and purpose.

Juliette’s story is inspiring and proof that desire can be maintained in long-term relationships if you’re both committed to working on it!

And if you’re curious about the Wheel of Consent or Juliette’s work, don’t miss her Substack, Touch Me There, for more wisdom and inspiration.

00:00 Introduction to Intergenerational Dialogue

01:50 The Wheel of Consent: A Transformative Tool

07:17 Personal Journeys: Healing Through Crisis

11:06 Exploring Touch: The Dynamics of Consent

17:05 The Evolution of Intimacy: A Three-Year Journey

22:13 Understanding Desire: Following the Ache

27:23 Finding the Right Framework for Connection

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of chatting with Susan Morgan Taylor, a somatic sex therapist from beautiful North Carolina. Susan works with couples to help them reconnect with their bodies and each other, using somatic methods to explore desire and intimacy. If you’ve ever wondered how to reignite the spark or expand your idea of pleasure, this episode will inspire you!

Susan explained that somatic sex therapy focuses on the body and sensations rather than just talking things through. She shared how couples can learn to notice what feels good, express their desires, and explore different types of touch—beyond the obvious areas. It’s about slowing down, paying attention, and creating space for pleasure to unfold naturally. I loved Susan’s reminder that pleasure and orgasm aren’t things someone gives you; they’re already inside you, waiting to be unlocked.

We also tackled the common issue of mismatched libidos in relationships. Susan’s take? Stop blaming each other! Instead, understand how you’re both wired differently and learn to meet in the middle. She shared some brilliant tips, like finding your voice to express what you want and being open to what your partner needs. As Susan said, “What would change if you took 100% responsibility for your own pleasure?” A game-changing question, right?

If you’re curious to learn more, check out Susan’s website, pathwaytopleasure.com, where you’ll find her retreats, masterclasses, and even a free ebook. She also hosts a great podcast called Sex Talk Cafe. This conversation was such a fun and eye-opening reminder that it’s never too late to explore new paths to pleasure and connection.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Somatic Sex Therapy

02:57 Understanding Somatic Practices

04:45 Benefits for Older Couples

07:30 Exploring Erogenous Zones

09:50 The Pleasure Keys Process

12:01 The Power of Light Touch

15:45 Types of Touch in Intimacy

16:22 Desire Discrepancy in Relationships

20:03 Navigating Sexual Expectations

21:23 Finding Your Pathway to Pleasure

24:31 The Importance of Communication

27:06 Empowerment in Relationships

29:10 Feedback and Desire

31:04 Finding Your Voice

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Joli Hamilton, a jealousy expert who’s spent twelve years unraveling the messy, powerful, and often uncomfortable emotion of jealousy, especially in relationships. If you want to know everything there is to know about jealousy, Joli is your woman!

We dove into why jealousy can feel so unbearable, how it’s hardwired into us, and why the idea of "just getting over it" is total nonsense. Spoiler alert: jealousy isn’t a bad thing -it’s actually a tool for deeper self-awareness and connection.

Joli shared her own journey, which started when she opened up her relationship years ago and found herself (and her partners!) swirling in jealousy without a clue how to handle it. Instead of running away, she leaned in, studied the emotion for over a decade, and discovered that jealousy has a purpose: it’s there to keep us connected to those we value. But the trick is learning how to slow down, notice what’s happening in the body, and reframe the stories we tell ourselves about jealousy.

We also explored how jealousy and envy often show up together, especially in open or polyamorous relationships. Joli explained how comparing yourself to others, whether it’s someone who’s funnier, younger, or more sexually adventurous, can trigger envy and self-doubt. The key? Stop feeling ashamed of these emotions, slow down, and address them head-on. It’s all about communication, self-awareness, and getting honest about your needs and boundaries.

If you’re curious about opening up your relationship or just want to understand jealousy better, Joli offered some great advice: start the conversation with your partner before you’re in the thick of it. Don’t wait for jealousy to blindside you! Her insights were a brilliant reminder that relationships, whether monogamous or not, are all about navigating complex emotions with care and curiosity.

Thanks, Joli, for such a fascinating and eye-opening chat!

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

Have you ever thought about packing it all in - giving up your home and hitting the road with no long terms plans in sight?

Recently I’ve met a few people, in their 40s and above, who have done this, adopting the nomad lifestyle. One is my friend, whom I met when he came to live with me for three months, which has become an annual occurrence, Kevin Sessums.

A woman whom I met via a Lovehoney campaign in which we featured, Tina Pemberton, whom is active on TikTok, is shortly going travelling with her son for a few months and then exploring the world on her own.

Marni Battista, my latest guest is another, who shared her on transformative journey of self-discovery, including a life-changing RV trip that revealed the importance of facing fears and embracing change. Together, we discussed how to shake up long-term relationships, the application of design thinking to life changes, and the significance of curiosity, openness, and optimism in fostering intimacy and personal growth.

Marni’s story is inspirational and, as someone who is now considering my next winter destination (currently looking like Thailand), emphasises the importance of taking small steps towards change and how to empower others to embrace their own transformations.

You can find Marni’s website here.

Her Substack is here.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Life Transformation

01:57 The RV Experience: A Journey of Self-Discovery

09:44 Shaking Up Long-Term Relationships

11:02 Design Thinking for Life Changes

14:44 Reviving Intimacy Through New Experiences

19:15 Empowering Others to Embrace Change

22:48 Applying Design Thinking to Relationships

28:53 Curiosity, Openness, and Optimism in Life

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

This week’s conversation is with Lucy Rowett, a sexologist who works with women who struggle with shame around their sexuality, especially those who come from a religious background that did not recognise a woman’s right to experience sexual pleasure.

Together we unravel the intricate layers of shame surrounding sexuality, especially for women and vulva owners. Discover how faith backgrounds shape sexual identities and the vital role of understanding one's body and desires.

The episode also highlights the unique challenges older women face, particularly during menopause, and the societal pressures around female pleasure and duty sex.

Lucy passionately advocates for community support and open dialogue to dismantle shame, encouraging listeners to reconnect with their sexuality through diverse practices and resources.

Find out more about Lucy here.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Shame in Sexuality

02:50 The Impact of Faith on Sexual Identity

05:26 Unpacking Sexual Shame and Body Awareness

07:58 Navigating Sexuality in Later Life

10:57 The Role of Duty Sex and Female Pleasure

13:52 Reframing Menopause as an Invitation

16:42 The Importance of Community and Conversation

19:36 Tools for Reconnecting with Sexuality

Here’s a free gift from Lucy!

Feel Again: A guided practice to help you feel again during sex, from numbness and shutdown to pleasure: https://lucyrowett.com/heart-v-integration-practice/

Hi, I’m Suzanne — the proud host of Sex Advice for Seniors and a 365-days-a-year champion for the right of older folks to experience sexual pleasure. No matter your age, size, shape, or the state of your knees, hips, back, you should feel free to embrace your sexuality. If you don’t wanna have sex anymore, that’s cool. But if you do? You absolutely shouldn’t feel ashamed about it.

I’m on a mission to smash one of life’s last, stubborn taboos: the idea that older people can’t be sexy or sexual. SCREW THAT.

Every week, I record at least one podcast where I sit down with an expert on sex, dating, or relationships.

My podcasts are free for all listeners, but for my discerning readers who enjoy a little extra spice in their lives, I offer paywalled posts. These juicy extras might include sex toy reviews (yes, I test them all myself, so don’t say I don’t go the extra mile), personal stories from my sexploits, or deep dives into more intimate topics. I accept guest posts too.

If you’re a paid subscriber, you’ll also receive my 32-page booklet, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life,’ and gain access to a private chat room where me and my readers swap stories, share tips, and ask questions. All this for what I think is a very reasonable £6.99/month—or, if you’re feeling savvy, you can snag the Senior Discount with an annual subscription at £49.99/year.

So, whether you’re here for the laughs, the learning, or just the libido boost, welcome aboard.

If you want to help support me in smashing one of the final taboos - the idea that older people can’t be sexy or sexual, it’s £49.99/year or £6.99/month. That’s only a cup or two of coffee per month (depending on where you live).

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

“Love the honesty and humour and the vulnerability too.”

“I like that you acknowledge so openly and joyously that older people can still want and need sexual satisfaction. And that it can be better and more satisfying than when you were younger! But we also need open, honest, non judgemental advice in order to get the most out of sex in later years.”