Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

What I Discussed With Gaylen Wilson

- How erectile dysfunction changed Gaylen's sex life and marriage.

- Why he believes men should take ED seriously rather than ignore it.

- How couples can stay connected when erections become unreliable.

- Why intimacy doesn't have to be centred around performance.

- How shame and withdrawal can damage relationships.

- The connection between ED, attachment and fight-or-flight.

- How Gaylen and Heather developed the Monument Method.

- Why lifestyle, fitness and overall health still matter.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod https://www.ohmibod.com/ + Introduction

01:58 Gaylen’s Experience With Erectile Dysfunction

03:33 Rebuilding Intimacy Through Serious Illness

04:34 Erectile Dysfunction and the Importance of Heart Health

06:02 Stroke, Viagra, and Cardiovascular Health

08:42 Sex Beyond Erectile Dysfunction

09:46 What Men With Erectile Dysfunction Struggle With

12:35 Porn, Performance, and Sexual Connection

14:06 When Erectile Dysfunction Leads to Withdrawal in Relationships

15:12 The “Tough Nut Letter”

16:11 Removing Shame and Facing Erectile Dysfunction Together

17:29 Attachment Theory and Relationship Safety

19:21 The Monument Method

20:13 Repairing Conflict and Rebuilding Connection

21:41 Why Some Men Withdraw After Developing Erectile Dysfunction

22:53 Why Erectile Dysfunction Can Have Many Causes

24:36 Beyond the “Blue Pill”: Lifestyle and Erectile Dysfunction

26:18 Erectile Dysfunction Treatments, Injections, and Long-Term Health

28:28 The Mission Behind the Monument Method

29:36 Healthy Aging, Exercise, and Intimacy

31:48 The Sanctuary Bond

33:26 Keeping Desire Alive After 20+ Years Together

34:31 Sobriety, Connection, and Personal Change

35:30 Keeping Long-Term Intimacy Alive

36:42 Outro

Show Notes

Erectile dysfunction can affect much more than sex. It can change confidence, intimacy and the way couples relate to each other.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, Suzanne talks with Gaylen Wilson, a heart transplant survivor, relationship author and founder of the Monument Method Institute. Gaylen shares his long experience with ED and how he and his wife stayed connected when serious illness changed what sex looked like in their marriage.

They also talk about what happens when shame causes men to withdraw, why sex doesn't have to be centred around performance, and how the Monument Method grew out of Gaylen and Heather's own experience of protecting their relationship through difficult periods.

Key Takeaways

- ED can affect a relationship as much as it affects sex.

- Intimacy can continue even when erections become unreliable.

- Shame and withdrawal can create additional problems for couples.

- Talking openly can help partners approach ED as something they can work through together.

- The Monument Method uses a shared cue to interrupt conflict and reconnect.

- Health, fitness and lifestyle are part of the wider conversation around sexual wellbeing.

About Gaylen

Gaylen Wilson is a heart transplant survivor, relationship author and founder of the Monument Method Institute. His work focuses on erectile dysfunction, intimacy, emotional safety and helping couples protect their relationships.

You can find Gaylen and Heather's work at Monument Method Institute. Their site describes the Monument Method as a relationship system built around interrupting destructive conflict, restoring safety and protecting the bond.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Gaylen

Website https://www.monumentmethodinstitute.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/monumentmethodinstitute/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@MonumentMethodInstitute

TikTok tiktok.com/@monumentmethod

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/1aXxBYJ9kw/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

He Helped Invent Viagra: What's Next for Men's Sexual Health? | Dr. Arthur Burnett https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/he-helped-to-invent-viagra-whats

Toxic Masculinity in Men's Groups | Chris Hands

https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-118-toxic-masculinity-in

What I Discussed With Rockne O'Leary

- How fitness can affect sexual performance, confidence and overall health.

- Why strength training and consistency become even more important as we age.

- How to start exercising again when you've been out of the gym for years.

- The connection between fitness, stress, lifestyle and sexual health.

- Why men need places where they can talk honestly about relationships and life.

- How Rockne's men's group is trying to create a space without judgment, including eventually bringing younger and older men together.

Show Notes

We often talk about fitness as something we do to look better. But as we get older, it becomes much more about staying strong, having energy, feeling confident and looking after the body we actually have.

In this episode, I talk with Rockne O'Leary, a sports performance coach, about fitness after 50 and the connection between exercise, confidence and sexual health. We talk about what happens when men stop training, how to start again after years away from the gym, and why consistency matters more than going all out.

We also get into something I found particularly interesting: men's groups. Rockne runs a virtual group where men can talk openly about relationships, stress, confidence and the things they don't always feel comfortable discussing elsewhere.

Key Takeaways

- You don't need to go all out. You need to find something you can do consistently.

- Fitness should give you energy rather than constantly leave you exhausted.

- Starting small can help build momentum.

- Sexual health isn't separate from the rest of your health.

- Asking for help can be the first step towards changing both your fitness and sex life.

About Rockne O'Leary

Rockne O'Leary is a sports performance coach whose work combines physical training with mindset, confidence and personal development. He also runs a men's group focused on creating a space for men to have more open conversations about relationships, personal challenges and growth. His fitness work includes strength, speed, power and athletic performance.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Rockne O'Leary

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rockoleary/

YouTube @youcantfoolyou

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rockne.oleary/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

What Most People Get Wrong About Sex and Ageing | Dr. Justin Lehmiller https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-hidden-shame-men-feel-about-sexual

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction?utm_source=publication-search

Toxic Masculinity in Men's Groups | Chris Hands https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-118-toxic-masculinity-in?utm_source=publication-search

What I Discussed With Dr. Maria Sophocles

- Why sexual burnout can happen in midlife.

- What menopause changes physically and sexually.

- Vaginal estrogen and why it can help.

- Spontaneous vs. receptive desire.

- The five M's for reconnecting with sexuality.

- Testosterone, “scream cream” and newer treatments for female sexual arousal.

- How GLP-1 medications may affect libido and sexual health.

- Practical ways to reconnect with sex and pleasure.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod + Introduction

01:38 What Is Sexual Burnout?

05:29 The Midlife Sexual MOT

08:19 The Orgasm Gap and the Clitoris

10:07 Why Women Fake Orgasms

12:32 Talking About Sexual Pleasure

13:47 Vaginal Estrogen After Menopause

15:06 Stress, Sleep and Loss of Desire

17:58 Spontaneous vs. Receptive Desire

20:47 The Five M's for Reconnecting With Desire

22:19 Testosterone and Scream Cream

24:56 New Treatments for Female Sexual Arousal

25:15 GLP-1s, Ozempic and Libido

28:51 Three Ways to Reconnect With Your Sexuality

30:11 The Midlife Sexual MOT

Show Notes

Menopause can change the way sex feels, but changes in desire, comfort and arousal don't have to mean the end of your sex life.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, Suzanne talks with Dr. Maria Sophocles, gynecologist, author of The Bedroom Gap, and women's sexual health advocate, about sexual burnout, menopause, vaginal estrogen, desire, orgasm and what women can do to reconnect with pleasure.

Key Takeaways

- Menopause can affect sexual comfort and desire, but there are ways to address these changes.

- Desire doesn't always have to come first; sometimes it develops after intimacy and stimulation begin.

- Vaginal health is an important part of sexual health after menopause.

- Stress, sleep, relationships and medications can all influence libido.

- Reconnecting with sexuality can start with small, practical changes.

About Dr. Maria Sophocles

Maria Sophocles is a gynecologist, author and public advocate for women's health. Her mission to close the gendered healthcare gap inspired her viral TED talk and book, The Bedroom Gap, about what happens to sex in midlife. Her efforts to provide access to contraception in New Jersey changed the state’s constitution. Her virtual clinic serves women in eleven US states and internationally. She is currently working on a documentary about sex and menopause. She is married with four grown children.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Dr. Maria Sophocles

Website https://mariasophoclesmd.com/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmoad996Gk-PwijqRziGX5g

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mariasophoclesmd/

The Bedroom Gap https://mariasophoclesmd.com/book/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572766203987&ref=NONE_xav_ig_profile_page_web#

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different

Why Women Lose Their Libido (And How to Get It Back) | Pauline Ryeland https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/pauline-ryeland

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

What I Discussed With Dr. Justin Lehmiller

- How men's sexual health and desire can change as they get older.

- Why erectile difficulties become more common with age and where Viagra fits in.

- Why sex toys can be useful for men and how to choose the right kind of stimulation.

- How to introduce sex toys into a relationship without making things awkward.

- What penis pumps can do for erectile difficulties and sexual function.

- Why masturbation and orgasm may have benefits beyond sexual pleasure.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod

01:46 How men's sexual function changes with age

04:27 Why men don't talk about sexual problems

05:46 Erectile difficulties and Viagra

07:28 Sex toys for men

09:03 Vibratory toys and penile health

12:43 Finding the right toy

14:53 Introducing toys into a relationship

18:01 Penis pumps and erectile difficulties

21:53 Sexual activity and aging

24:15 Sex, orgasms and cognitive function

25:42 Masturbation and better sleep

26:55 Choosing and caring for sex toys

28:59 Researching sex and aging

Show Notes

Men's sexual health changes as we get older, but that doesn't mean we stop being sexual.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want, to talk about men's sexuality, aging, erections and pleasure.

We talk about what happens to sexual function as men get older, including erectile difficulties and changes in desire. We also get into sex toys, vibratory stimulation and penis pumps, and why these can be useful tools for men who want to explore different ways of experiencing pleasure.

We also talk about masturbation, orgasms and sleep, and some of the research around sexual activity and wellbeing as we age.

Most importantly, this is a conversation about taking some of the pressure out of sex and being willing to explore what works for your body at different stages of life.

Key Takeaways

- Sexual function and desire can change with age, but there is no single experience of aging.

- Erectile difficulties can have different causes and shouldn't automatically be viewed as an inevitable part of getting older.

- Sex toys can offer men different forms of stimulation and can be part of partnered sex.

- Penis pumps can be one option for men experiencing erectile difficulties.

- Masturbation and orgasm can be part of sexual wellness at any age.

- There is still a need for more research into men's sexual health and aging.

About Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute, author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Website https://www.sexandpsychology.com/

Instagram @JustinJLehmiller https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller

TikTok @JustinLehmiller https://www.tiktok.com/@justinlehmiller

YouTube @JustinLehmiller https://www.youtube.com/@JustinLehmiller

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

He Helped Invent Viagra: What’s Next for Men’s Sexual Health? | Dr Arthur Burnett https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/he-helped-to-invent-viagra-whats

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

Men Who Fear Toys Have It Backwards | PhD Sexologist Explains https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/over-60-how-to-bring-toys-to-bed

What I Discussed With Mary Ellen Reider

- Why bladder leakage is common but should not be treated as an inevitable part of aging.

- What the pelvic floor is and why everyone has one.

- How childbirth, menopause, aging, weight, and other factors can affect pelvic floor strength.

- The connection between pelvic floor muscles, bladder control, sexual sensation, and orgasm.

- Why pelvic floor relaxation is just as important as strengthening.

- How the Yarlap device works and who may benefit from it.

- Why it is never too late to start caring for your pelvic floor.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod + Introduction to Mary Ellen Reider

01:40 What Is the Pelvic Floor and Why Does It Matter?

03:40 Why Bladder Leakage Is Common But Not Normal

05:46 How Pelvic Floor Weakness Affects Your Body

07:49 Introducing Yarlap: Pelvic Floor Training and Sexual Wellness

10:17 Why Pelvic Floor Exercises Are Difficult to Do Correctly

11:11 How Pelvic Floor Training Works Over Time

12:06 How Long Does It Take to See Results?

12:52 What Causes Urinary Incontinence?

14:12 How Bladder Leaks Affect Confidence, Dating and Intimacy

16:13 The Connection Between Pelvic Floor Strength and Orgasms

17:40 Female Sexual Wellness and Understanding the Body

19:51 Why Pelvic Floor Relaxation Matters Too

22:10 Understanding Pelvic Floor Tone: Too Tight vs Too Weak

25:00 Talking to Your Doctor About Pelvic Floor Health

26:46 It’s Never Too Late to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor

28:21 Closing Thoughts: Removing Shame Around Women’s Health

28:57 Visit Sex Advice for Seniors

Shownotes

Bladder leakage is common, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it as an unavoidable part of aging.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I speak with MaryEllen Reider, co-director of Yarlap, about pelvic floor health, urinary incontinence, sexual confidence, and what happens when those important muscles become weak or overly tight.

We talk about what the pelvic floor actually is, why both women and men have one, and how it supports the bladder, uterus, spine, and other parts of the body. Mary Ellen explains why leakage when you laugh, sneeze, exercise, or cough should not simply be dismissed as “one of those things” that happens after childbirth or menopause.

We also explore the connection between the pelvic floor and sexual pleasure, including why some women experience weaker orgasms or reduced sensation as their pelvic floor changes. And importantly, we discuss why relaxation matters just as much as contraction when it comes to pelvic floor function and intimacy.

MaryEllen explains how the Yarlap device is designed to support pelvic floor training, why Kegel exercises are not necessarily suitable for everyone, and why it’s important to understand whether your pelvic floor is weak, tight, or both.

Most importantly, this episode is about replacing embarrassment with information. Whether you’re dealing with bladder leakage, painful sex, reduced sexual sensation, or simply want to take better care of your body, it is never too late to start paying attention to your pelvic floor.

Key Takeaways

- Urinary incontinence is common, but it is not an inevitable part of aging.

- Everyone has a pelvic floor, and it supports both physical and sexual health.

- A weak pelvic floor may affect bladder control, posture, back pain, knee pain, and orgasmic sensation.

- A pelvic floor that is too tight may also cause pain and discomfort.

- Strengthening and relaxation are both essential for healthy pelvic floor function.

- Pelvic floor health can affect confidence, dating, intimacy, and sexual pleasure.

- It is never too late to ask a doctor about your pelvic floor.

About MaryEllen Reider

MaryEllen Reider is the co-director of Yarlap®, the wellness device to treat urinary incontinence and improve feminine performance and experience through muscle control. MaryEllen spends a lot of time researching and finding out what’s new in the pelvic floor world and the social media realm.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with MaryEllen

Website https://yarlap.com/

Instagram @yarlap_otc https://www.instagram.com/yarlap_otc/

TikTok @yarlap_otc https://www.tiktok.com/@yarlap_otc

YouTube @yarlap_otc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/yarlapwautokegel

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different?triedRedirect=true

Why Women Lose Their Libido (And How to Get It Back) | Pauline Ryeland https://open.substack.com/pub/sexadviceforseniors/p/pauline-ryeland

What I Discussed With Amy Gabrielle

- How losing a partner can change our relationship with our body, identity, and desire.

- Why grief and pleasure can exist alongside each other after loss.

- Amy’s experience of rediscovering sexuality and confidence after becoming a widow.

- Dating after loss, including her experiences with dating apps and exploring new relationships.

- How women can reconnect with their own desires without shame or guilt.

- Why sexuality does not disappear as we get older.

- The difference between seeking connection, companionship, and emotional security.

- How society shapes the way women think about aging, relationships, and sexual expression.

- Why rebuilding a relationship with yourself can be an important part of healing.

- How honest conversations about sex and desire can create more freedom and confidence.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Amy Gabrielle on Desire After Loss

03:00 Losing a Partner and Rediscovering Desire

08:00 Dating After Loss and Starting Over

13:30 Sexual Desire, Relationships and Life After 50

18:00 What We Want From Relationships Now

22:00 Widow’s Fire: When Grief and Desire Meet

26:00 Sex, Aging and Challenging Expectations

30:00 Shame, Confidence and Accepting Your Body

34:00 Dating, Boundaries and Finding What Feels Right

37:00 Pleasure, Freedom and Owning Your Desire

40:00 Closing Thoughts and Amy’s Book Widow in the City

Shownotes

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by Amy Gabrielle, writer, digital creator, and author of Widow in the City.

After losing her husband to cancer, Amy found herself navigating grief, identity, and an unexpected return of desire. In our conversation, we explore what happens when loss changes the way we see ourselves, our bodies, and our relationships.

We talk about the complicated relationship between grief and pleasure, the experience of dating after loss, and what it means to rediscover yourself in midlife.

Amy shares openly about rebuilding confidence, exploring sexuality, and letting go of the shame that many women carry around aging and desire.

This is a conversation about much more than sex. It is about identity, healing, connection, and giving ourselves permission to continue growing and changing throughout life.

Key Takeaways

- Grief does not erase desire; both can exist at the same time.

- Rediscovering yourself after loss can be a powerful part of healing.

- Sexuality and intimacy continue to evolve as we age.

- Women deserve to explore their own desires without shame or judgment.

- Relationships after 50 do not have to follow traditional expectations.

- Confidence often comes from reconnecting with yourself first.

- Honest conversations about sex can help reduce shame and create deeper connections.

About the Guest

Amy Gabrielle is a writer, digital creator, and advocate for authentic self-expression in midlife women. Following her husband’s death from cancer, she began using memoir and social media to explore the complex intersection of grief and desire, cultivating a community of thousands drawn to honest conversations about life after loss. Her work appears in Absolute Pleasure on Substack, as well as Medium publications including The Memoirist and Slackjaw. She lives in New York City, where she enjoys photography, travel, and raising her son.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.

Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Amy

Website https://amygabrielle.com/

Instagram @amygabriellenyc https://www.instagram.com/amygabriellenyc/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/amygabriellenyc

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Sex and Dating when a Widower https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-83-sex-and-dating-when-a?utm_source=publication-search

Dating After Loss: Redefining Love and Intimacy After Widowhood

https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/sex-grief-and-starting-over-dating?utm_source=publication-search

What I Discussed With Dr Jess O’Reilly

- Why sex toys can help couples adapt to changing bodies, arousal, and sexual needs as they get older.

- How introducing a toy can create novelty and playfulness in a long-term relationship.

- Why a sex toy is a tool for pleasure — not a replacement for intimacy or a partner.

- How smaller, simpler toys can make introducing them into a relationship feel less intimidating.

- Why toys can reduce performance pressure when erections, libido, or orgasm become less predictable.

- How self-pleasure can help women understand what they like and communicate it more clearly.

- Why desire doesn’t always come before arousal, particularly in long-term relationships and later life.

- How shame and embarrassment can stop older adults from talking openly about sex.

- Why conversations about sex don’t need to be perfect to be useful.

- How the Yes/No/Maybe checklist can help couples explore sexual interests together.

Chapters

00:00 Introducing Dr Jess O’Reilly and the conversation about sex toys

01:30 Why sex toys can improve intimacy in long-term relationships

02:34 The importance of novelty as our bodies change with age

04:36 Why some men feel threatened by sex toys

06:20 How toys can reduce performance pressure

07:14 Choosing versatile, accessible toys for different bodies

08:38 How sex toys open up better conversations

09:03 Using toys when erections or sexual performance are unreliable

10:30 Why pleasure matters more than performance

10:51 Choosing toys for different sensations and mobility needs

11:59 Why simple controls can make toys easier to use

13:58 The best couples’ sex toys for beginners

15:21 How air-pulse pleasure feels different from vibration

16:08 Understanding the clitoris and changing sensations

19:45 Why desire can begin after arousal

21:17 Learning to trust your body and your capacity for pleasure

22:47 Why satisfying sex and communication need to come first

24:06 Shame, aging, and the pressure placed on older women

25:20 Why talking about sex can protect long-term relationships

27:59 How to start a conversation about sex toys with your partner

30:52 A simple way to introduce a new toy without pressure

33:45 The Yes/No/Maybe checklist for couples

35:05 Dr Jess introduces the Womanizer Enhance

36:10 Where to find more from Dr Jess and Suzanne

Show Notes

I’ve always been fascinated by sex toys. I was first given one when I was a blogger in the early 2000s, and these days I have boxes of them perhaps more than I really need.

But sex toys aren’t just about novelty or having a large collection. They can be genuinely useful as our bodies change, especially when arousal takes longer, sensitivity shifts, or erections and orgasms become less predictable.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by Dr Jess O’Reilly, a globally recognised sexologist and relationship expert. Jess has a PhD in human sexuality and has delivered workshops in more than 45 countries.

We talk about how couples can introduce sex toys without making either partner feel inadequate or threatened. We also discuss why starting with something simple can make all the difference, how toys can take the pressure off performance, and why pleasure should be viewed as a shared exploration rather than a test that someone has to pass.

Jess and I also talk about the changing nature of desire. Sometimes we don’t feel spontaneously “in the mood”, but that doesn’t necessarily mean our desire has disappeared. With patience, touch, communication, and the right kind of stimulation, arousal can sometimes come first and desire can follow.

We explore the role of masturbation, shame, sexual communication, and the importance of understanding what feels good in your own body before trying to explain it to someone else.

And if you’re not sure how to bring up the subject of sex toys with your partner, we have a simple suggestion: blame us. Tell them you heard about a product or idea on this podcast and ask what they think.

Key Takeaways

- Sex toys can help couples adapt to changing bodies and sexual responses.

- Introducing a toy does not mean that a partner is inadequate.

- The simplest toy is often the best place to begin.

- Pleasure and connection matter more than sexual performance.

- Desire may develop after arousal, rather than appearing beforehand.

- Self-pleasure can improve communication between partners.

- Talking about sex may feel awkward, but avoiding the conversation can create greater distance and resentment.

About the Guest

Jess O’Reilly is a sexologist & relationship expert (PhD, MSc) who has delivered thousands of workshops in 45+ countries. She’s the author of 5 books, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast and a regular in media outlets ranging from Oprah Magazine and The Today Show to Playboy and Forbes.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.

Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Dr Jess O’Reilly

Website https://happiercouples.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithdrjess/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithdrjess/

The Sex With Dr Jess Podcast https://happiercouples.com/podcasts/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Women Are Ashamed of Sex Toys | ft. Dr. Shamyra Howard https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-are-women-over-50-ashamed-of

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

What I Discussed With Eric M. Resnick...

- Why the swipe apps trained women to chase the dopamine hit of a match, and stopped everyone from looking at who they were actually matching with

- The one word Eric uses for Tinder and Bumble, and why he calls them exactly that

- What ChatGPT admitted to Eric, in its own words, about why it's bad at writing dating profiles

- Why my own list of dealbreakers might be doing more damage than the men on it

- The reason women over 50 still hesitate to message first, and why Eric says the men who get put off by it were never worth the risk

- What dating apps actually do to your visibility if you don't log in for two weeks

- Why a naked photo without a face has no value, and a naked photo with a face is a liability

- What made my late partner Bob's Tinder profile the most authentic one Eric's ever heard described to him

Chapters

00:00 – Sponsor spotlight: OhMiBod https://www.ohmibod.com/

00:20 – Introducing dating profile veteran Eric Resnick to tackle why most online bios fall completely flat.

02:17 – Looking back at how online dating evolved from early matchmakers to addictive swipe culture.

04:40 – The brutal swipe statistics between men and women that broke app dynamics.

05:40 – How meeting his wife on a niche site proves there really is someone out there for everyone.

06:14 – Reflecting on early dial-up dating sites and the modern shift toward casual hookup apps.

08:04 – Why incognito mode is a total game-changer for women navigating overwhelming inboxes.

09:07 – The biggest profile writing traps men fall into when trying to sell themselves.

10:05 – Why letting AI tools like ChatGPT write your dating bio completely kills authentic chemistry.

12:10 – Sponsor spotlight: GITM Playbook.

12:45 – The hidden danger of listing red flags and past relationship baggage on your profile.

15:40 – The hard truth about why dating success comes down to who you choose, not who chooses you.

17:00 – Why making the first move as a woman over 50 is an empowering shortcut.

18:03 – How dating app algorithms track daily logins and quietly lower your visibility.

20:50 – Why dystopian AI avatars and paid profile boosts keep daters hooked on the screen.

22:50 – Turning your profile into an authentic conversation starter instead of an empty checklist.

26:23 – Why a great dating profile acts as a window into your world rather than a sales pitch.

28:55 – The blunt truth about unsolicited photos and the golden rules of photo etiquette.

31:30 – Suzanne and Eric wrap up with key strategies for showing up authentically and finding connection.

Show Notes

I've been on dating apps since 2000, same as my guest this week. So when Eric Resnick, founder of ProfileHelper.com, told me he's read more than 40,000 dating profiles and consulted for the platforms themselves, I knew this was going to be a conversation I couldn't have with almost anyone else.

We started with how different online dating looked in 2000, back when it was Match.com and dial-up modems, and how Tinder changed everything the moment it made swiping possible without writing a word. Eric calls swipe apps a dopamine slot machine, and he means it literally: they train you to chase the feeling of a match, not the person behind it.

Then things got personal. I admitted my own profile has a list on it. Bad teeth, beer bellies, things I don't want. Eric didn't let me off easy. He explained exactly what that list has been doing to the men who read it, and why the healthiest ones see it as a red flag before they've even said hello.

We also got into why AI can't write a profile that means anything, because AI aims for the middle, and if you're acceptable to everyone, you're not special to anyone. And we talked about the algorithms themselves, the visibility rankings, the fear of missing out tricks, and why Eric thinks the newest AI matching features are the most dystopian thing he's seen yet.

This one runs a little short because I had to get to the theatre. Eric's already agreed to come back for a whole episode on photos.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Swipe apps like Tinder and Bumble train people to chase matches, not connection. Eric calls them a dopamine slot machine.

- Lists of what you don't want in a profile read as unresolved baggage. Healthy matches see it as a red flag, not a filter.

- AI-written profiles fail because AI aims for the widest possible appeal, and being acceptable to everyone means being memorable to no one.

- Success on a dating app comes down to who you choose, not who chooses you, on any app with a search function.

- Dating apps use visibility tiers to keep you logging in daily, and some allegedly rank profiles by popularity.

- An authentic profile is a window into your world, not a sales pitch. Specific details invite conversation; vague ones don't.

- Never post nude photos. A photo without a face has no value, and one with a face is a blackmail risk.

- Women over 50 are often the most hesitant to message first, a habit Eric says has nothing to do with how it will actually be received by the right person.

About the Guest

Eric M. Resnick is the founder and lead profile advisor at ProfileHelper.com. He has worked with more than 40,000 individual daters since 2000 and has consulted for major dating platforms on what actually makes a profile work.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Eric M. Resnick

Website: https://profilehelper.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profilehelper

X: https://x.com/profilehelper

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Dating Apps Fail Older LGBTQ Singles and What a Matchmaker Does Instead: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/hiring-a-matchmaker-as-a-gay-person

Breaking Taboos: Sex and Dating in Midlife: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-154-from-taboo-to-truth-redefining

What I Discussed With Dr Shamyra Howard...

- What a man actually hears when his partner tells him she needs a toy to finish

- The three words she gives every couple before they open the box

- What happens to the clitoris once the estrogen goes, and why nobody warned us

- The one question to answer before you look at a single product

- What a manufacturer found when it stopped testing on twenty-five-year-olds

- Why she keeps a box of lube next to her desk and gives it away to everyone

- What a partner did with my vibrator that I have not stopped thinking about since

- The belief about women's sexuality after 50 she would destroy tomorrow

Chapters

00:00– Sponsor spotlight: https://www.ohmibod.com/

00:28 – Breaking the silence on why midlife intimacy is due for a serious upgrade.

02:06 – Looking at the outdated societal scripts and the hidden pleasure gap affecting mature women.

04:11 – Why physical body changes after 50 make intimate aids essential tools rather than afterthoughts.

05:10 – Why male partners often feel replaced by bedroom aids and the crucial mindset shift that changes everything.

07:54 – How to smoothly invite a hesitant partner to explore intimate devices together without making it awkward.

11:02 – The surprising clinical research showing how certain stimulation devices can actively reduce menopause symptoms.

12:18 – Choosing the right sensation when navigating internal versus external stimulation options.

13:53 – How targeted clitoral air technology is transforming arousal and natural blood flow in post-menopausal bodies.

15:07 – Sponsor spotlight: GITM Playbook http://gitmplaybook.com/SUZANNE20

15:53 – A compelling study on how regular orgasms can meaningfully protect and boost your mental health.

17:17 – Creative ways to use a multi-use massage wand across the entire full body's erogenous zones with a partner.

19:37 – Why investing in high-grade intimate wellness tools is just as essential as your regular self-care routine.

20:12 – The non-negotiable rule about pairing the right body-safe lubricants with medical-grade silicone.

22:04 – Overcoming the persistent stigma around dryness and why lubrication is basic physiology, not a personal failure.

24:04 – Combining topical solutions with daily bedroom habits to turn intimate comfort into a completely seamless experience.

25:50 – Letting go of performance anxiety and completely redefining what pleasure feels like after 50.

26:48 – The single most damaging myth about ageing women’s sexuality that needs to be completely dismantled.

27:31 – Wrapping up with community resources and practical ways to keep prioritising your intimate life.

Show Notes

Most women over 50 were handed a script that said sex was something we provide rather than something we receive. Then our bodies changed, nobody explained why, and we quietly decided the problem was us.

In this episode I'm joined by Dr Shamyra Howard, an award-winning sexologist and licensed therapist who founded On the Green Couch. She spends her working week with couples over 50 who cannot say one sentence out loud to each other, and she has heard every version of how that silence ends.

I told her something I do not say often. I need a toy about 80% of the time to get there. I have also been with a man who told me toys were not coming into his bedroom, and that put more strain on the relationship than the toy ever could have. Shamyra explained what he was hearing that I had no idea he was hearing.

She is just as direct about the industry. Most sex toy companies still design for the average twenty-five year old, and she names the two that stopped and started asking menopausal women what they actually want instead.

There is no clinical distance in this conversation and no coyness either. If sex has quietly got harder and you have been waiting for it to sort itself out, this is the episode that tells you what you are waiting on.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- The oral medications for men release the brakes. Sex toys do the same job for women, and Shamyra's line for partners who feel replaced is that tools don't compete, they assist. The toy is a teammate, not a rival.

- Estrogen, progesterone and testosterone all fall from around 50. Lubrication drops, clitoral sensation drops and arousal needs more input than it used to. Most male partners have never been told any of this, so they keep doing what always worked.

- Invite, don't surprise. Bring your partner into the decision before the toy arrives, frame it as an us thing rather than a me thing, and be clear that if pleasure matters to both of you, this is not optional.

- Do not start with the catalogue. Decide where you want the sensation first. Shamyra finds women over 50 are moving away from penetrative options and towards clitoral ones, which narrows hundreds of products to a handful.

- Womanizer and We-Vibe are running their market research with menopausal and post-menopausal women rather than twenty-five year olds. Womanizer reports that users of one of its pleasure air devices experienced fewer menopause symptoms, including poor sleep and irritability.

- Clitoral suction increases blood flow to the area, and blood flow is where the arousal problem sits. Plenty of women are not orgasming for the simple reason that they were never sufficiently aroused.

- A wand earns its price outside the bedroom. Neck, shoulders, feet, behind the knees, the inside of the thighs, and on a partner's body too. Shamyra treats good toys the way we treat hair and nails, as something worth paying for.

- Water-based lube only with silicone toys, or the material breaks down. Check the ingredients for glycerin. And needing lube is not a verdict on you or your partner. Wetness depends on hormones and arousal, and the hormones are leaving.

About the Guest

Shamyra holds a Doctorate in Social Work, she's an international award-winning Sexologist, Professor, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist who exposes people to what they're missing from intimacy, so they can have a great relationship and better sex!

She's a sexuality media maven featured in major digital and television productions, such as CNN, VOGUE, The New York Times, Peacock, OWN and many more, and she's the Founder of On the Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Dr Shamyra Howard

Website: onthegreencouch.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexologistshamyra

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexologistshamyra

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shamyralcsw/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Lovehoney discount code ADVICE15 for the toys and lubricants discussed in this episode.

Related Episodes

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

The Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It | ft. Malia Lazu - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

What I Discussed With Dr Arthur Burnett...

- Why the pill has never once started an erection, and what that means for the nights it did nothing

- The name he would give erectile dysfunction if he could rename it tomorrow

- What his lab found when they went looking for the same response in women

- Why the men who most want the pill to work are the ones it helps least

- What he thinks of a prescription that takes four clicks and no conversation

- The sentence surgeons skip before a prostatectomy, and why he takes the blame for it

- What he does when he finds his own name on a supplement bottle

- What he refuses to write a prescription for, no matter who is asking

Chapters

00:00 – Intro & Sponsor Spotlight (https://www.ohmibod.com/)

00:26 – Redefining Intimacy After 50: Welcoming Johns Hopkins Urologist Dr. Arthur Burnett

01:33 – Is Erectile Dysfunction Inevitable? Why Unreliable Erections Don’t Mean the End of Your Sex Life

02:18 – The Real Science Behind Viagra: What a Pioneering Researcher Wants Men to Know

04:29 – The Hidden Danger of Quick-Fix Online Prescriptions & Skipping Root Causes

07:24 – Removing the Shame: Why Men Must Stop Suffering in Silence

08:30 – Erectile Dysfunction as an Early Warning Sign for Heart & Vascular Health

10:19 – Does Viagra Work for Women? The Truth About Female Clitoral Blood Flow

12:31 – Sponsor Spotlight (GITM Playbook)

13:10 – Why the Blue Pill Doesn’t Work Without Mind-Body Synergy

16:23 – Rethinking Performance: Shifting Focus Beyond Penetrative Sex

17:06 – The Unspoken Trauma: What Doctors Often Miss in Prostate Cancer Care

19:39 – Innovations in Prostate Surgery: Preserving Nerve Function & Recovery

20:58 – Post-Surgery Rehabilitation: Do Vacuum Pumps & Therapy Devices Actually Work?

22:29 – How to Talk to Your Partner About Sexual Decline Without Losing Attraction

23:33 – Lifestyle Habits That Naturally Improve Blood Flow & Performance

24:30 – Nitric Oxide Supplements: Separating Hype from Real Medical Science

28:01 – Authentic Health: Ditching the “Marlboro Man” Myth & Taking Charge

Show Notes

Most men over 50 assume their erections changed because they got older. Dr Arthur Burnett has spent forty years trying to tell them otherwise, and for most of those years he has been shouting into the wind.

In this episode I'm joined by Dr Arthur Burnett, a urologist at Johns Hopkins, where he has worked for more than four decades. His laboratory did the discovery work in the late 1980s that made the blue pills possible. So I opened by asking him whether he regrets what men have done with them since.

Two of the men I loved died. Both of them started here, and I read it as age. One had diabetes and told me flatly that the pill wasn't working, and I believed him. Dr Burnett listened to that story and told me what had been going on inside that man's body while I was busy blaming the wrong thing entirely.

He is just as blunt about his own profession. He has watched surgeons treat the cancer and skip the man, and he does not exempt himself from it.

There is no shame in this conversation and no bravado either. If your erections have changed and you have been waiting quietly for them to sort themselves out, this is the episode that tells you what you are actually waiting on.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- The oral medications release the brakes on an erection. They cannot start one. Arousal has to be driven from the brain and the body first, which is why a man can take the pill, feel nothing, and wrongly conclude he is finished.

- Dr Burnett would call it penile vascular dysfunction. An erection runs on blood vessels, nerves and hormones, the same system that runs the heart, and it usually falters before anything else does.

- His lab found the same nitric oxide response in clitoral tissue. The mechanics are close to identical, but female arousal involves hormones and other factors, so one pill was never going to be the answer.

- Diabetes damages nerve and blood vessel tissue and behaves in the body almost like premature ageing. These men need more stimulus to drive the response, and the drugs work measurably less well for them.

- The online questionnaire skips the health workup. Erectile dysfunction should send a man for a full check, and Dr Burnett calls home delivery without a clinician an unfortunate development in his field.

- Nerve sparing surgery lifted recovery rates above zero. Surgeons now map the nerve pathways during the operation, man by man, though the results are still not where he wants them.

- He has little faith in nitric oxide supplements and has found his own name on products he knew nothing about. His position comes from society guidelines rather than his own opinion.

- Sleep, weight, smoking, movement, stress, cardiovascular health, checkups. He will not be asked for a miracle by a man smoking three packs a day, and says this layer comes

About the Guest

Arthur L. “Bud” Burnett II, MD, MBA, FACS, is a globally recognized Johns Hopkins urologist, researcher, Viagra Pioneer, and educator whose pioneering work in men’s health and erectile function has transformed care worldwide.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Dr Arthur Burnett

Website https://drarthurburnett.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.arthurburnett/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DrArthurBurnett

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrArthurLBurnett/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what