I am so thrilled to be able to share this conversation with you, Jo is such a beautiful soul and I absolutely love talking to her, I could have carried on for hours.

I feel like Jo is a kindred spirit, her energy is so warm and full of optimism. I just wish we lived closer and could be friends in real life.

Jo’s husband Craig died at home in the middle of the night from an asthma attack in 2017. Jo talks very openly and honestly about how she navigated that  first year of her grief, and how differently she tells her story now compared to then.

After fighting the inevitable changes loss brings to our lives, Jo shares how she learnt to surrender and allow what was to be, ultimately learning how to grow around her grief and open her heart to new possibilities and opportunities.

We talk about the challenges of supporting grieving children, how relationships with our children change and the strong bond we can sometimes feel that may not have previously been there.

Jo tells us about how she learnt to trust herself and her ability to make decisions again, how she dealt with the identity crisis we all face and how she finds Joy in her life now.

So much of what Jo said in this conversation resonated so deeply with me, It was like she was talking about me at times, so I know you’ll feel the same.

If you want to follow Jo on instagram you can find her here;

https://www.instagram.com/jo.betz/?hl=en

And if you’d like to buy, or gift somebody, a copy of Jo’s journal here is the link;

https://www.jobetz.com.au/products/grief-a-guided-journal

I am thrilled to be able to share this conversation with you as it is so inspiring. Dana is a widow, cancer survivor and founder of The Forced Joy Project, and here she shares so much from her own journey through widowhood you can’t help but feel inspired by her.

Dana’s husband Brad died in January 2017 and since then it has become Dana’s mission to inspire and empower others to find joy in the midst of grief, teaching people to embrace the joy, even during times of great sadness.

The Forced Joy Project is a community of people who are willing to share in life’s brightest and darkest moments, which is something I love to do in my groups and what attracted me to Dana in the first place.

Dana shares with us where the inspiration for The Forced Joy Project came from, how she dealt with her early grief and the changes she made in her life after Brad died.

We talk about what Brad taught Dana and how she takes that forward with her honouring him in her new life, the importance of creating space for our grief and how it feels to be widowed with no children.

We also discuss how we learn to trust our intuition, the choices we make in life and how we have to ‘do the work’ in grief, plus the world of dating!!! 

It really is jam packed full of wisdom, hope and compassion, Dana is a woman I admire hugely and I know you’ll get so much from listening to this. Enjoy.

If you want to follow Dana on Instagram click on the link below;

https://www.instagram.com/forcedjoyproject/?hl=en

And here is a link to her book of stories,

https://www.forcedjoyproject.com/book-of-stories-intro

When we lose a life partner there are so many secondary losses but there’s one loss that often goes unnoticed and is hard to share with others, this can leave us feeling very alone and sometimes quite ashamed.

The loss of intimacy is a real loss, being touched, hugged, kissed or sexually fulfilled leaves us with a huge void. We were in a loving relationship with our person and all of a sudden they’re no longer here, but our feelings are still very much alive. We have wants, needs and desires that are no longer being tended to.

I wanted to talk about this important topic in this episode to help normalise these feelings, to open up the conversation, and to let you know that you are not alone in how you feel.

Whether you decide to act on these desires or not is absolutely ok, but whatever you decide to do make sure it’s not adding to your suffering.

Be aware of how you’re feeling and what’s driving you to make the choices you’re making, find somebody you can talk to that you trust, and know that all your feelings are completely valid.

The worries you have about the possibility of another partner are common, the guilt you’re feeling towards your person when you have these desires, and wondering when the time is right to explore intimacy again is something we all think about.

Learning to connect with ourselves and discover who we are is one of the most important factors I believe we need to work on. Building a healthy relationship with ourselves is at the heart of our healing journey, and it’s no different when it comes to the subject of intimacy.

I am so thrilled to be able to share this conversation with you as Lauren offers so much hope and wisdom from her own widow journey. I know a lot of it will resonate.

Lauren has shared her story on her instagram page @imsorrywerefriends which is where I first met Lauren a couple of years ago and have continued to be inspired by her.

Lauren's Husband Kevin was tragically killed whilst out cycling with friends in November 2019 and their son Lawson was only 14 months old at the time.

In this conversation we talk about the shock and devastation brought on by the sudden loss of a life partner and how our grief evolves over time.

Lauren tells us how there were times she felt claustrophobic in her own body, that nothing felt natural but how connecting with other widows helped her find her way, feeling seen, heard and understood.

We talk about;

Jealousy,

Panic attacks and depression,

Loneliness,

Finding joy,

Choosing to suffer,

Honouring your person,

Dating.

Lauren spoke about so much in this episode that truly resonated with my own journey, discussing how we are able to grow through our grief and use the lessons to help us create a meaningful life after loss.

This week's episode is an especially poignant episode as I speak to a very brave and special lady about the reality of navigating death in life.

Diane reached out to me as she has been listening to the podcast to give her the reassurance that after her own death, her husband, son and loved ones will be able to carve out a new and happy life for themselves.

Diane is living with metastatic ovarian cancer and wanted to come and talk about the reality of living with cancer from her own lived experience, as the patient, and the grief and loss she is experiencing and what she wishes for her loved ones when her time comes.

Diane openly shares how her work as a palliative care clinical nurse specialist, has helped her face her own diagnosis, and be able to talk about the things a lot of us would find very overwhelming and distressing.

That’s not to say it’s easy for Diane, far from it, but it provides a coping strategy allowing Diane to talk about it in a professional capacity stepping back, for moments in time, from the reality she is talking about herself.

However, in this podcast Diane shares a lot of her own grief within her diagnosis, how she feels about death and dying, and the reality of saying goodbye to those she loves dearly.

We discuss;

The different ways people grieve,

Anticipatory grief,

Guilt,

New relationships in widowhood,

The importance of communication,

Hopelessness and depression,

Existential crisis,

The healing power of nature,

living with uncertainty,

What death looks like,

And wishes for her loved ones in life after loss.

I have to say, this is one of the most powerful conversations i’ve had, and one of the bravest. Diane is incredible, her wisdom, kindness and openness offers so much to so many and I feel honoured to have been able to share this time with her.

As Diane so eloquently states, live life simply, find joy in simplicity, look for the good, find gratitude and always be kind. Wise words we could all learn from.

Thank you so much for your time Diane, it has been an absolute pleasure. 

If you wanted to reach out to Diane or find one of her support groups here are the links to all her offerings.

Website: https://dianeevanswood.wordpress.com/

Podcast “Living with Ovarian Cancer Podcast” which is available on all usual podcast platforms:  https://anchor.fm/diane-evans-wood

Cancer Support Group can be found on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1428310030743872/

Diane Evans-Wood on Facebook:  https://m.facebook.com/diane.evans.773

Instagram - Faery_realm:  https://www.instagram.com/faery_realm/

What we expect from ourselves and what is reality are often two very different things in grief, specifically widowhood.

In this episode I explore some of the more common expectations we place on ourselves Vs what’s realistic.

These are things I have learnt from my own journey, but also from what i’ve seen when working with widows in my groups and on a 1:1 basis.

I talk about;

How we expect life to carry on as it was,

Expecting ourselves to have all the answers to everything,

Expecting ourselves to be mum and dad,

Expecting nobody to have a say on how you grieve,

Expecting the grief to be better within a certain time period,

Expecting those around you to know how best to support you,

Expecting grief to always look like sadness and pain.

We’re not always aware of the expectations we are placing on ourselves, they are subconscious. They are learnt from others but we take them on as our own beliefs without questioning them.

What I want to do is help you bring awareness to some of your own beliefs and expectations, and ask yourself the questions, Are they realistic, are they fair, are they kind?

Once we create this awareness we can learn how to be a lot kinder to ourselves in our grieving journey.

In this week's episode of The Widow Podcast I am honoured to be talking to special guest Kendra Rinaldi.

Kendra is the host of ‘Grief, Gratitude And The Gray In Between’ podcast, which explores grief that occurs at different times in our lives and the gratitude that can come from growing through it. 

This is a podcast not just about death, but acknowledges all the changes and transitions that shift our life.

Kendra Lives in Texas now but is originally from Columbia where she grew up as one of four siblings. At the age of 21 Kendra’s younger sister died suddenly in a tragic car accident shifting Kendras life and everything she knew.

Ten years later in 2006 Kendra’s first pregnancy sadly ended in miscarriage, and then ten years after that in 2016 Kendra’s Mum died of pancreatic cancer, after being diagnosed nine months earlier.

We talk about so much;

Anticipatory grief,

Continuing bonds,

Beliefs around what happens next,

Having our grief witnessed,

allowing the emotions,

Waves of grief,

How others respond to our loss,

What grief teaches us,

Expectations,

The importance of talking about our losses.

We cover so much and to be honest I could have talked to Kendra for so much longer, I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it.

Grieving positively is often a term people don’t understand.

It is not about dismissing grief, or minimising it, on the contrary, grief is hard work and has to be felt. It’s about learning how to support ourselves, mentally, physically and emotionally in the best way that we can.

As a society we are not good at meeting our needs, or caring for ourselves throughout life and its challenges.

We keep on pushing through, we have ridiculously high expectations, and we can be our own worst enemies.

The idea is not that there is a right way to do this, or that you have to be perfect at it, it’s about learning how to lean into your needs, and learn the tools to support yourself throughout your healing journey.

There is no right or wrong way, there is only your way, and you have to learn how to find your way through your grief in the most positive way that you can

Grief is now a companion for life and we need to learn how to nurture ourselves through it in a kinder way, without expecting ourselves to be perfect.