In this episode we are talking about our person's possessions.

I get asked a lot, ‘When should I clear out their stuff’?

This is something that adds a lot of confusion, upset and pressure onto us in our grieving journeys.

Others tell us we ‘should’ clear out, or move their stuff because it’s been too long.

However, as with everything in grief we have to remember that we are all different, and we should never feel pressured to do things a certain way or within a certain time period. 

I share my own story in this episode of what I chose to do with Simon's possessions, not because that’s the right way, just because that was what felt right for me.

What I've learned is that there’s only really one thing to consider when we are thinking about sorting through our person's belongings, and that is to ask ourselves whether it is serving a purpose or is it prolonging the pain?

If seeing the slippers by the door, the toothbrush in the bathroom, or their wedding ring on your finger is bringing you some comfort, and helps you feel connected to your person then that’s a positive thing. However, if every time you see this it adds to your pain, causes you greater sadness or feels like a stark reminder of their absence then maybe it is time to reconsider.

Debbie lost her husband Paul in March 2018 when he had a heart attack whilst at the local gym, he was 53 years old and left behind Debbie and their two daughters, Kelly and Jodie who were 23 & 27.

The shock and devastation catapulted them all into a life they did not know or understand, but Debbie’s incredible outlook, and sheer determination not to become a victim of this tragedy, has led Debbie to a place where she feels she can embrace her widowhood and what that brings.

I have watched Debbie flourish over the last eighteen months and it has been incredible to see, she truly is an inspiration and so much of what she says resonates with me and my story, I felt compelled to ask her onto the podcast so she can share her story with you.

You will learn a lot from this conversation. It is heartwarming and uplifting, offering hope, comfort and an understanding that what you are feeling right now is not permanent. Debbie shows us that it is possible to look forward, and believe that the future can be good again, whilst still loving and honouring your person.

As Debbies so eloquently put it, “People say time heals……. but I think healing takes time”.

It really does, take a listen to this wonderful conversation so you too can learn how to use your time to help your healing journey.

We can all learn from Debbie and I just know you’ll love her as much as I do.

I am delighted to share with you this week's podcast guest, straight-talking, no-nonsense, self-development coach Holly Matthews 🎙️

Holly is the founder of ‘The Happy Me Project’, helping you feel less crappy and more happy, and is absolutely brilliant at what she does 😊

Holly is a TV actress, Widow, mum to two gorgeous girls, and all-round amazing human.

In this podcast, we talk about how Holly entered the world of self-development, her acting career, and how everything changed when her husband Ross got diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2014 🤍

This life altering event changed the trajectory of Hollys life, leading her to where she is today. Holly shares so many golden nuggets in this conversation, even I had a breakthrough!

Every time you listen to Holly you break down more of the barriers you build in your own mind, she is so empowering and like a breath of fresh air

We talk about so much in this episode including:

🌻 How the foundations of who we are shift after the loss of a life partner

🌻 Understanding what REALLY matters in life

🌻 What life teaches us

🌻 The science behind our thoughts

🌻 Resilience

🌻 Learned behaviour and what we can change

🌻 The power of finding the good

🌻 Allowing space for everything within our trauma and grief

🌻 Listening to what your body needs

🌻 Acknowledging how differently we all do grief

🌻 Solo parenting

🌻 Community and connection

🌻 Drowning out the noise of everyone else's thoughts/judgements

🌻 It’s ok to not have all the answers

Since the death of her husband, Holly is on a mission to help more people deal with the challenges life throws at us, become more resilient, and ultimately take back control of their lives

Holly offers 1:1 coaching, on-line courses, a membership programme and has her own podcast sharing so much of her wisdom, you really can learn so much from her. and if you’re not already following her on Instagram you absolutely must, her content is super powerful

www.iamhollymatthews.com

@iamhollymatthews

In this week’s episode of The Widow Podcast, I had the absolute pleasure and privilege of speaking with the inspirational Gary Andrews. 🎙️

💛 We had such a heart-warming conversation filled with love, hope and Joy.

✏️ Gary is best known for his daily doodles on social media, illustrating his life after the death of his wife Joy in 2017. These wonderful drawings have amassed Gary a huge following, offering so much comfort and support to so many in their own grieving journeys

💛 They say a picture speaks 1000 words, and in this case it’s true. Gary found a unique way of coping on his grief journey, through his doodle diaries, which have now been made into the most heart warming book, Finding Joy.

🌈 Gary starting doodling prior to his Wife’s passing, but he has carried this on, a tradition he realises helps not only him but his family, friends, and followers too

💛 Over the years of following Gary myself, and listening to him speak, I have drawn so much strength and wisdom from him that I hope you’ll be able to do the same from listening to our conversation.

 🌈 Gary has a wonderful and unique way of approaching grief, and life, that I believe we can all earn so much from him…

💛 We talk about a number of things including;

The Grief Demon

Releasing feelings and emotions

The doodle diaries

Solo parenting

Support networks

Trusting your instincts

The importance of laughter

What grief teaches us

Finding love after loss

Guilt

Honouring your loved one in your new life 

And much much more……..

✨ There is so much in this conversation that will leave you feeling a little more hopeful and maybe inspired, that life after loss can still be beautiful

 🙏🏻 As Gary says “you are not alone” 

In this week’s episode of The Widow Podcast I am joined by John Webb, founder of Embark2 🎙️

John is the founder of Embark2, a wonderful support network for widows and widowers offering holidays and events on a not for profit basis.

John’s wife Joyce sadly died in 2013 which has taken him on a journey where he now helps so many on their own grieving journeys make meaningful connections, experience new opportunities and achieve things they never dreamed possible.

In this episode we talk about the devastating effects the loss of a life partner can have on us, and how we are able to work through these challenges by surrounding ourselves with like minded people and pushing ourselves to try different things.

John offers a safe, supportive space for widows and widowers to travel and explore the world whilst being surrounded by people who just know.

This can have a hugely positive impact on our healing journeys, allowing us to still live life whilst also honouring our loved ones, taking them forward with us, not leaving them behind.

Embarking on our chapter two is scary, we feel vulnerable and alone, but John has a wonderful way of helping those grieving the loss of a life partner realise that life after loss is still possible, offering so much hope in a dark place, and that is a gift.

I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it.

If you would like to get in touch with John you can do so by emailing him at;

[email protected]

Visit the website;

www.embark2.co.uk

Or call the helpline on 

+447498 623819

Guilt is the unwanted companion of grief and is something that shows up for so many of us in our grieving journeys.

We feel guilty for what we did or didn’t do.

what we said or didn’t say.

For not being enough.

For surviving.

For life

We feel guilty for feeling guilty….

It’s endless.

In this episode we explore guilt and why we find it easier to feel guilt than we do to feel powerless. I want to help you understand that it is common, and a natural part of the grieving process, to explore all the shoulda, woulda, couldas, within your loss, you are not alone and nor are you going mad. However, by understanding a little more about it we are able to shift our perspective and change our thought patterns enabling us to take back some control and reduce our suffering.

Making sense of death is hard, trying to fathom the enormity of the loss leaves us with the realisation that the world is unpredictable and chaotic, and that’s uncomfortable, so we invite guilt in instead, it’s still uncomfortable but it allows us to feel we have some control.

Have a listen and let's explore this subject a little more and help you free yourself of some of the guilt.

We are back 💥

The first episode of The Widow Podcast of 2022 is here and i'm so excited🎙️ 

💛 In this week’s episode I talk about feeling stuck in grief . 

I speak to so many people that say they feel stuck and can’t move forward, I felt it myself in my own grief, and its horrible.

However, on my journey, I have learnt a lot of the time, we feel this way because of the expectations we place on ourselves. The idea that we should be doing it better, or differently, or that we are not where we are 'supposed' to be.

When we start out on our grieving journey, I think we subconsciously cast a timeline in our minds of how long it is going to take to grieve, maybe there’s this silent notion that after the first year it’ll get easier, and when it doesn’t, we feel stuck, because we aren’t where we think we should be . We are often so intent on looking ahead, that we forget to look at how far we’ve come 

🌻 So, have a listen to this week’s podcast, as I share with you some of my thoughts and feelings around feeling stuck in grief and let me know what you think.

This week I am talking to the wonderful Julie New. 

Julie is an experienced personal recovery coach specialising in helping people after difficult and sometimes traumatic life change. Prior to starting her coaching Julie spent 20 years in the NHS as a senior nurse and midwife, she also worked on various pioneering NHS community projects.

Since becoming a professional coach in 2006 she has developed a unique New Chapter recovery program which has helped many people to reach new fulfilling phases in their lives, which they hadn’t thought possible.

Julie is an author of popular unique personal growth gift books including ‘The Grief Garden path and is a well-known inspirational and motivational wellbeing conference speaker.

In this episode Julie shares her own personal stories of loss, how she supported her two girls through grief towards health, healing and happiness and also shares her golden nuggets of wisdom.

We discuss anger, widowhood, rebuilding and finding glimmers of sunshine in a dark place.

Julie now supports others in their own journeys of grief and helps them to create something truly meaningful after loss.

‘Change is forever, but the pain doesn’t have to be…’

Email me:  [email protected]

Telephone me: 07967135870

Website: Julie New – Personal recovery coach

Follow my journey on Instagram: Julienewpersonalrecoverycoach

Join me on Twitter: @julienewcoach

Like my Facebook page: Julie New – Personal recovery coach

You are welcome to join my private Facebook group ‘Forever Flowers’, a place for people who care for ongoing motivation, inspiration, support and understanding:

https://facebook.com/groups/ForeverFlowers/?ref=share

Writing New Chapters with Stacey Macdonald

In this week's episode I speak to an incredibly honest and inspiring lady, Stacey Macdonald. Stacey’s husband Chris died suddenly in December 2013 from a heart attack when their daughter was only 12 years old.

Stacey shares her journey of loss and how she navigated her way through her grief in her own unique way, a way in which we could all learn a lot from.

We discuss; 

This really is such a wonderful conversation and I know you’ll be able to draw so much from this.

We got unexpectedly cut off at the end (the joys of living on a small island), so there is an abrupt finish to the conversation. We contemplated arranging another time to record an ending but I actually felt that Staceys final words of wisdom were so beautiful, it felt like the perfect end to a wonderful conversation, so we left it at is was.