Christmas is a difficult time of the year when grieving the loss of a life partner, we feel the heavy weight of expectation and our grief can feel even more invisible than ever.

And, as a widow, it is incredibly hard for us to talk about our grief and how we are truly feeling, we fear being a greater burden on everyone else and darkening their Christmas with our sadness.

So often, as a result, as we navigate our way through the holidays we can feel incredibly alone with everything that we are thinking and feeling.

I want you to know that what you are feeling is a natural response to your loss, and I want to give you a few ideas on how you can support yourself through the festive season, so you can understand how to be a little kinder to yourself at this time of year.

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When those around you tell you you’re being so brave, you're doing so well, we are so proud of

you, is your first instinct to say, ‘What choice do I have?’

As a widow the grief we endure often leaves us feeling we have no choice in what we do or feel.

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When will I feel better? This is a question most widows ask after losing a partner. The truth is, no one knows how long grief will last. Some people find peace within months. For others, the journey can take years. We can all agree that nothing can replace your person, but that is not reason enough to lose hope. 

If you feel like there is no hope in your journey through widowhood, remember your person has died, but your love for them has not. You can continue loving them and honouring them and in time, it will become with more love than pain.  

In this episode, we'll discuss how to find hope in widowhood. Tune in to learn how you can honour your loved one and create a life you truly love again.

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How long should grief last? For some people, 12 months may still feel as fresh as the first day. For others, a month may feel like everything happened a lifetime ago.

A lot of people are shocked by how different the stages of grief can look like. But what every widow learns to understand is that grief takes work. It's not something that just goes away on its own. Time might heal a broken bone, it might heal a cut on the skin, but time alone doesn't heal wounds of the hearts. 

In today's episode, we'll break down the myths of how long grief should last and the steps you can take to comfortably navigate the different stages of grief.

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How soon is "normal" enough for a widow to start craving intimacy? Is it even possible to have a genuine desire for someone new after the death of a loved one? The simple answer is yes. But unfortunately, widowhood has traditionally been constructed as an asexual period. A widow may look to move forward, but not without the risk of being judged. A widow may crave intimacy from another, but not without feeling guilty. 

So, how can widows find space in their hearts to be intimate with somebody else and still love and grieve their person? 

In this episode, we'll discuss sexual desires and the loss of intimacy in widowhood. We'll also go through some practical tips to help you reconnect with your desires and rediscover your sexuality.

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As weird as it sounds, jealousy during grief is normal. It's certainly not malicious jealousy, neither is it jealousy that causes anger or outbursts. But it's real and many of us feel it after losing a loved one. 

The big question is, why do we feel so jealous of people who still have their loved ones? Why is jealousy such a big part of the grieving process? In today's episode, we'll talk about feeling jealous in our grief and how we can use our jealousy to appreciate the good times we had with our person and learn to cope with our emotions.

What You'll Learn:

The truth is, grief and jealousy are closely intertwined. The jealousy you feel is an ache for the love of your person. We think of jealousy as a negative trait, but in reality, it's the most vulnerable part of ourselves asking to be heard. 

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One of the most unsettling emotions during grief is guilt. People feel guilt for several reasons, many of which don't make sense. Unfortunately, grief has a way of manifesting toxic personal blame and shame. In today's episode, we'll tackle why we're likely to feel guilty after the loss of a loved one. We'll also explore the roots of guilt and learn how to break free from its claws.

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After losing a loved one, it's very easy to look back with hindsight and recognise the things we didn't do well enough, the things we should have said, or the things we could have changed. But actually, all these feelings only distract us from everything we did to love and support our person.

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Whether real, imagined, or received from interactions with people in their lives, grieving widows often feel like a burden to those around them. When internalised repeatedly, these messages can cause people to conclude that their physical and emotional needs are invalid. Yes, our grief is our responsibility. Yes, we have to take responsibility for our grief because nobody's coming to save us. But that doesn't mean we have to do it alone. In fact we can’t do it alone, we cannot heal in isolation.

In today's episode, we discuss how widows can reframe that feeling of being a burden to others after losing a loved one. We'll also go through unique ways you can use to ask for help without sounding overly needy. 

What You'll Learn:

Remember, people want to help, and those who genuinely care about you don't see you as a burden. You have a burden; a burden that is too heavy to carry on your own.

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Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Almost everyone has heard about the five stages of grief. However, these 5 stages were first proposed in 1969, which is why many people question their relevance in today's world. Plus, despite their popularity, grief researchers have continuously demonstrated that everyone handles grief in their own distinct way. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the creator of the 5 stages of grief, herself said it was never meant to be prescriptive; it was meant to be descriptive. 

So why are people still following a framework that is obviously not correct?

In this episode, we'll talk about the five stages of grief and the controversy around them. We'll also discuss frameworks to help you explore your emotions the best way you see fit after the passing of a loved one.

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Grief is the human body's natural response to loss. It's the emotional pain you feel when the person you love is taken away. Although we'll all grieve at some point or another, grief is very personal. It's not neat, nor is it linear. It doesn't follow any scripts, deadlines or schedules. You may become angry, cry, withdraw or feel lost. But none of these things are abnormal or wrong; everyone reacts to loss their own way.

In this episode, we'll discuss feelings and reactions to a significant loss, with the goal to help you understand that all your feelings are valid. 

What You'll Learn:

Remember that, although nothing can replace your loved one, you can gradually find a way to continue with life, while remembering the dearly departed with more love than pain.

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