Grief is the human body's natural response to loss. It's the emotional pain you feel when the person you love is taken away. Although we'll all grieve at some point or another, grief is very personal. It's not neat, nor is it linear. It doesn't follow any scripts, deadlines or schedules. You may become angry, cry, withdraw or feel lost. But none of these things are abnormal or wrong; everyone reacts to loss their own way.

In this episode, we'll discuss feelings and reactions to a significant loss, with the goal to help you understand that all your feelings are valid. 

What You'll Learn:

Remember that, although nothing can replace your loved one, you can gradually find a way to continue with life, while remembering the dearly departed with more love than pain.

Resources: 

There's a lot of advice out there about grief, but most people fail to understand that grief is personal and that there's quite a mixture of feelings involved. For example, when your spouse dies, you may feel numb, confused and fearful. You may feel angry at your spouse for leaving you. You may even feel guilty for being the one who is still alive. I'm here to tell you that all these feelings are normal. And because grief is a personal experience, there is no right or wrong way to mourn.

In this episode, we talk about grieving the proper way and why there's nothing wrong with you, even if people find your grief "weird." You have every right to grieve your way, grieving fully AND living fully.

What You'll Learn:

In your grief, it's really important to listen to what people have to say with an open mind. Take what feels good based on where you are in your journey and how you're feeling. But at the end of the day, grieve your way, the best way you know how. 

Resources: 

Regardless of age, a partner's death can be one of the most challenging events in a person's life. What saddens me most is when I see people expecting too much of themselves too soon. Navigating life without your partner is a process that takes time. And how you use that time is crucial to your ability to adapt and cope.

The good news is you don't have to do it alone.

My name is Karen Sutton, I’m a Widow Coach and the host of The Widow Podcast. In this podcast series, I'll support you through the loss of your life partner, so you can find a more positive avenue to navigate your grief. My mission is to give you hope after loss, to help you understand that everyone's grief is unique, there’s no right or wrong way, and that in time, it is possible for us all to create a meaningful life after loss. In today’s episode, I talk a little bit about the Widow Podcast, who it's for, what it can give you, and some practical tips to help you move toward healing.

What You'll Learn:

Remember, the death of a partner is not just about the loss of their physical presence, it’s much more than that. Moving forward is not a quick and easy process, it will take longer than you want, or even expect, it to, and this will be difficult for those around you to fully understand. It's your grief, and you have the right to sit in it however long it takes.

Resources:

When your husband dies you are thrown into a world you no longer recognise and you have no idea how you’re going to get through the next five minutes, let alone the next five days.

So what do you do now? This is the big question and something I want to talk about here in this episode.

There really are few things in life as painful as the death of a spouse and there will be times when you won’t know how you are going to survive this, or even if you want to some days.

Grief is an umbrella term for the amalgamation of the most powerful and painful emotions. It will affect you physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually, but I want you to know that everything you experience is natural and valid.

Do what feels right for you. Full stop.

Find people that you can grieve with, people that can hold space for your loss and witness your grief, this is a fundamental need but often doesn't get met.

Let your feelings guide, they are information if you can listen to them.

Be kind to yourself, you will hear this a lot so let’s explore what this means a little.

You won’t want to hear this bit, but this is all going to take a lot longer than you expect it to, or even want it to. You’re not doing it wrong, this is grief sadly.

I speak to so many people and read so many posts where people talk about the fact they hate having to call themselves a widow.

It wasn’t long after Simon died that I realised I was a widow myself, at 39, but I did not feel hatred for the term, even though it meant my husband was dead.

The term widow does not define who you are, it is a label that describes a part of your life, not your whole life.

I am actually proud to be a widow, I feel honoured to be Simon’s widow, it is an absolute privilege.

If you struggle with the word widow, if it adds more discomfort to your grieving journey that you just don’t need, take a listen to this podcast and learn how to think of it in a different way.

You are going to love this conversation, Heather is so honest and open in this episode and shares so much wisdom you will have a few aha moments I’m sure.

Heather shares her story of loss from when her husband, and childhood sweetheart, Larry died in 2018. Heather had to believe that her life could be good again after Larry died, the alternative was not an option for her.

Heather believes we have to reframe our reality and redefine things now we are widows.

Everything is so different after we lose a life partner, we are different, so how do we rebuild and re-invent ourselves and our lives so we can feel good again. 

This can feel like a daunting idea, accepting that our lives will be different and we will be different. It is uncomfortable and it fills us with fear, so how do we overcome this?

How do we intentionally create feelings that will move us forward rather than perpetuating our suffering, how do we make choices that allow us to live again?

As a widow we are constantly navigating so many decisions in our lives, from the grocery shopping to the finances, from which side of the bed to sleep on to what we do with the ashes, from how do we be both mum and dad to how do I get some peace? It’s relentless, no wonder we’re exhausted.

Heather gets it, she understands and she has the tools to help us reframe our reality, so we can reduce our suffering and be that strong independent person we were before we were thrown into the world of grief.

Enjoy xx

If you want to follow Heather you can find her here on Instagram;

This week's episode is a conversation about blending life as a remarried widow and how it works for Jess and her husband Don.

Jess’s first husband Justin died tragically in 2014 when their son Jax was just three days old.

Jess moved back in with her parents and sold the family home whilst she worked through grief and being a new mum.

Around sixteen months after Justin died Jess decided to dip her toe in the dating pond, which led her to meet her now husband Don, about two years after Justin died.

We talk about the challenges of dating as a widow and also what kind of a person you need to be to open your heart to dating a widow.

Jess shares the importance of knowing your worth and having that inner confidence and belief that you can find someone good again. She shares the challenges her and Don have faced and how to blend parenting in a new relationship.

Meeting someone new is learning to love two people at once, it’s not always easy but it’s worth it for sure.

This is honestly such a powerful and meaningful conversation, I cannot wait for you to hear it.

Marie and I talk about how we discover who we are after the loss of a life partner and it is so good, Marie blows me away in parts.

This conversation left me absolutely buzzing, so much wisdom, honesty and mind blowing thoughts are shared, you will walk away feeling richer and more empowered for having listened.

Marie is the owner and founder of Empowered Through Grief gaining her over 30k followers on Instagram.

Her ability to put into words what we all feel and experience is awe-inspiring.

Marie shares with us in this conversation how the changes she felt happening within her grief felt natural, that they revealed who she is at her core. 

Marie went on to say that she followed what felt right throughout her journey, and still does. Not to say she gets it all right, but that she goes with what her instincts tell her, her inner knowing, it’s something we could all learn to do more of for sure.

We discuss;

-The importance of self awareness

-Creating a meaningful life

-How we define ourselves

-The difference between our values and our roles and identities

-How to reduce our guilt around living

-How to cultivate a life that feels good

-Processing the complexity of grief

This conversation is rich with compassion, empathy and inspiration, take your time to really listen, and then listen again.

I am so thrilled to be able to share this conversation with you, Jo is such a beautiful soul and I absolutely love talking to her, I could have carried on for hours.

I feel like Jo is a kindred spirit, her energy is so warm and full of optimism. I just wish we lived closer and could be friends in real life.

Jo’s husband Craig died at home in the middle of the night from an asthma attack in 2017. Jo talks very openly and honestly about how she navigated that  first year of her grief, and how differently she tells her story now compared to then.

After fighting the inevitable changes loss brings to our lives, Jo shares how she learnt to surrender and allow what was to be, ultimately learning how to grow around her grief and open her heart to new possibilities and opportunities.

We talk about the challenges of supporting grieving children, how relationships with our children change and the strong bond we can sometimes feel that may not have previously been there.

Jo tells us about how she learnt to trust herself and her ability to make decisions again, how she dealt with the identity crisis we all face and how she finds Joy in her life now.

So much of what Jo said in this conversation resonated so deeply with me, It was like she was talking about me at times, so I know you’ll feel the same.

If you want to follow Jo on instagram you can find her here;

https://www.instagram.com/jo.betz/?hl=en

And if you’d like to buy, or gift somebody, a copy of Jo’s journal here is the link;

https://www.jobetz.com.au/products/grief-a-guided-journal

I am thrilled to be able to share this conversation with you as it is so inspiring. Dana is a widow, cancer survivor and founder of The Forced Joy Project, and here she shares so much from her own journey through widowhood you can’t help but feel inspired by her.

Dana’s husband Brad died in January 2017 and since then it has become Dana’s mission to inspire and empower others to find joy in the midst of grief, teaching people to embrace the joy, even during times of great sadness.

The Forced Joy Project is a community of people who are willing to share in life’s brightest and darkest moments, which is something I love to do in my groups and what attracted me to Dana in the first place.

Dana shares with us where the inspiration for The Forced Joy Project came from, how she dealt with her early grief and the changes she made in her life after Brad died.

We talk about what Brad taught Dana and how she takes that forward with her honouring him in her new life, the importance of creating space for our grief and how it feels to be widowed with no children.

We also discuss how we learn to trust our intuition, the choices we make in life and how we have to ‘do the work’ in grief, plus the world of dating!!! 

It really is jam packed full of wisdom, hope and compassion, Dana is a woman I admire hugely and I know you’ll get so much from listening to this. Enjoy.

If you want to follow Dana on Instagram click on the link below;

https://www.instagram.com/forcedjoyproject/?hl=en

And here is a link to her book of stories,

https://www.forcedjoyproject.com/book-of-stories-intro