In this week’s episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener who shares a heartfelt question about feeling invisible and struggling with self-acceptance while growing older.
Together, they explore how societal pressures around youth and beauty can erode our confidence and sense of self, and they offer compassionate, practical ways to rebuild a healthier relationship with ageing. They discuss how to reconnect with inner vibrancy and joy, reflect on cultural differences in how older generations are valued, and share thoughtful resources - including the book Wise Women: Myths and Stories for Midlife by Sharon Blackie and the Instagram account @thebirdspapaya which focuses on body positivity and self-acceptance.

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This week on Therapy Works, I speak with Tracey, a 55-year-old mother of three, whose story is one of heartbreak, courage, and ultimately, liberation.

Tracey describes the moment her marriage of 21 years ended in the most shocking and devastating way - a sudden revelation of her husband’s long-term infidelity. What followed was a period of deep grief, shame, and secrecy as she tried to protect her children while coming to terms with a truth that had completely upended her world.

What struck me most in our conversation was Tracy’s honesty about the years that followed once the crisis had passed. She shared how, despite managing the practicalities of divorce with great competence, she carried the emotional weight of what had happened for far longer than she expected. Through therapy, friendship, and self-reflection, she began to release the shame that wasn’t hers to hold and, in doing so, discovered new aspects of herself, including her sexuality.

Tracey’s story reminds us that even from the most painful experiences, something new and life-giving can emerge. When we stop pretending to be “fine,” when we tell the truth about what’s really happened, we make space for healing and, as Tracy beautifully puts it, for becoming “more you.”

More from Therapy Works:

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice

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In this Agony Aunties episode, they respond to a listener’s question about managing social anxiety within a relationship. They explore how to communicate openly using “I” statements and metaphors, the importance of self-compassion, and taking small, manageable steps to expand comfort zones. The conversation touches on how exposure therapy can help reduce anxiety over time, and the delicate balance between seeking understanding from a partner and accepting that they may not fully experience your feelings.

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In today’s episode, I’m joined by the wonderful Lulu - a woman whose energy fills any room she walks into.From global fame at 15 to finding peace at 77, Lulu shares her remarkable journey of learning to let go of performance and finally come home to herself.

She talks honestly about the parts of her she left behind in Glasgow, the years she spent saying yes when she wanted to say no, and the deep work of reconnecting with who she really is.We explore the power of therapy, sobriety, and meditation, and what it truly means to accept yourself - not the version the world sees, but the one you’ve spent a lifetime running from.

This conversation is about forgiveness, authenticity, and the quiet strength that comes when you stop pretending and start becoming.
Find Lulu:
Instagram: @lulukc

More from Therapy Works:

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: The Samuel Therapy Practice

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.

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In this episode, the Agony Aunties address a listener's question about the challenging nature of therapy. They discuss the misconception of therapy as a 'quick fix' and explain why the therapeutic process can sometimes feel more difficult as buried emotions resurface. The Agony Aunties emphasise the importance of pacing in therapy and the benefits of communicating feelings of overwhelm to one's therapist. They also acknowledge that while therapy can't change certain realities, it can help individuals process their experiences and foster healthier relationships with themselves and others.

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In this episode, Eve shares her deeply personal story of coming out of a 23-year relationship, including 10 years of marriage, which ended in divorce due to not having children. She reflects on the red flags she missed in her youth, the challenges of poor communication, and the emotionally abusive dynamics that developed over time.

Despite her loving family and strong support system, Eve grapples with feelings of grief and complexity regarding her ex-husband. She discusses the immense pressure she felt around having a child and how her identity and self-esteem were affected in the process. Ultimately, Eve seeks understanding and a way to move forward, emphasising the importance of being heard, valued, and having open communication in relationships.

More from Therapy Works:

Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠

Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠

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In this episode, the Agony Aunties return to address a listener's concern about potential infidelity, offering advice on distinguishing between anxiety and genuine red flags. The hosts suggest approaches for starting calm and honest conversations with partners, discussing the importance of addressing relationship anxiety, maintaining personal well-being, and considering couples therapy. The episode underscores the value of open communication and exploring underlying relationship issues before jumping to conclusions.

More from Therapy Works:

Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠

Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠

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In this powerful and tender conversation, I speak with Olia Hercules - author, chef, and activist - about her journey from Ukraine to the UK and the personal and collective challenges she has faced in recent years.

Olia reflects on living with Fragile X syndrome, both in her own life and with her son, and shares the deep psychological impact of the ongoing war in Ukraine. She speaks movingly about the importance of family, culture, and heritage, and how traditions of food, art, and gardening can offer strength and continuity even in times of great upheaval.

Her new book, Strong Roots, is both a celebration of family history and a testament to the power of creativity and nourishment as acts of therapy and resistance. Through our conversation, Olia shows how self-care, cultural memory, and connection to the land can sustain us through pain and uncertainty.

This is an episode about resilience, belonging, and the healing role of tradition in the most difficult times.

Find Olia:
Instagram: @oliahercules
Book: https://amzn.eu/d/htX5MKtWebsite: https://oliahercules.com/

More from Therapy Works:

Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠

Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠

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The Agony Aunties tackle a listener's question about managing the stress of a full-time job, parenting two young children, and caring for an ageing parent. They discuss the importance of self-compassion, prioritisation, and setting boundaries without feeling selfish. They suggest considering personal limits and adopting the concept of 'essential maintenance' instead of 'self-care'. Additionally, they emphasise the importance of repairing moments of irritability with children and collaborating with partners to manage household tasks.

The episode also references resources such as the 'Motherkind Podcast' and the 'Fair Play' book by Eve Rodsky for better task distribution.

More from Therapy Works:

Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠

Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠

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In this fascinating and candid conversation, I speak with Deepa Paul — a Filipino Indian author, mother, wife, and girlfriend about the complexities of love, identity, and open relationships.

Deepa shares her experience of a 17-year marriage alongside a 5-year relationship with her boyfriend, reflecting on the different needs these partnerships meet and the honesty required to sustain them. Her book, Ask Me How It Works: Love in an Open Marriage, answers the questions so many are curious about, while challenging misconceptions around polyamory and ethical non-monogamy.

We talk about the importance of self-reflection, the “emotional housekeeping” needed to maintain multiple relationships, and the courage it takes to live authentically in the face of cultural expectations and societal judgment. Deepa’s story is one of resilience, curiosity, and a deep commitment to love in its many forms.

This is a conversation about freedom, boundaries, and what it really means to build relationships with integrity and care.

Find Deepa:

Instagram: @storiesbydeepa

Book: https://amzn.eu/d/2xGUhRI

Website: https://www.storiesbydeepa.com/

More from Therapy Works:

Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠

Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠@juliasamuelmbe ⁠for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠

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