Thot Topics

By Thot TopicsComedy Society & Culture Music Music Commentary

Thot Topics episodes

September 08, 2021 Camilla Caballers! (feat. Harry Tafoya)
A dream is a wish your hole makes, and Thot Topics dreamz DO come true!
We're back after yet another extended hiatus (we promise to have less of those, but we were like reeeeaaaally hungover :/) and we're doing it in style. The girls are joined by the lovely and sensual HARRY TAFOYA in a high tower away from the clutches of the male gaze. But a princess can't help but let her hair down as she makes her way to the balls...
We recap the Billy Porterfied Cinderella with munchy-crunchy Zoom audio for your nerve (we forgot to press record
1 hr 38 min
August 21, 2021 RuPaul's Girl Race!
I'm not a girl... not yet a drag queen...

This week, we convene for an international crisis panel to address the troubling military occupation in the middle east-- and after much consideration, we've decided to TaliSTAN! With that settled, we dive into much more pressing issues affecting underserved populations: the new Lizzo and Cardi B song, Lorde's comeback album Solar Power, and Hasan Piker's $3 million dollar house.

But wait! There's soooo much more. We take on the OnlyFans porn ban and draw a big, hard, veiny and throbbing line in the sand on sex work; plus, we talk about the casting of a cis woman on the upcoming season of Drag Race UK. We wonder: can women do drag? (No) Is drag even worth defending? (Also maybe not, but we'll let YOU decide) We let the A/C unit run and let our freak flags fly as we uncover the answers.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Match us with the right college for free on Patreon.
1 hr 43 min
August 11, 2021 Bring Your Child to Steamworks Day! (feat. Rare Candy)
The planet's getting hotter and hotter, sexy and hotter, let's shut it down!
We're joined by the elegant, demure, emotionally complicated and tantalizing G Rock and Crypto Psi of the Rare Candy podcast for a riveting roundtable of global proportions. We discuss Tan France's new baby and whether or not there needs to be a mom; the UN's climate change red alert and being haunted by your litter like in the Campbell's soup commercial; and lastly, a crash course in hyperpop as Charli XCX warns of its end. We use Glen Rockney's palette as the ultimate taste test-- who transcends the boundaries of niche gay club songs, and who fails? We talk Ayesha Erotica, Charli herself, Slayyyter, SOPHIE, 100 gecs and GFOTY.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Follow the Rare Candy Boys and listen to Rare muthafuckin' Candy. Find our beach on Patreon.
1 hr 34 min
August 04, 2021 Fatt Gaymon!
Oh my God, somebody HELP! Matt Damon is chasing me down the street and calling me a fucking FAGGOT!
Welcome back to our Barbie Dream House of cosmic justice to all little thotties and recent converts. We welcome you with open, warm, and supple bosom to take a look back at all things gay-as-in-stupid online this week. We're sorry we took a little break, but we explain our brief sabbatical in extensive detail. Now take your bra off, throw on a nightgown, and grab a pillow-- it's about to get naughty!!
This week, we discuss the gay equivalent of storming the beach at Normandy, AKA the death of fleets on Twitter; DaBaby's totally valid and possibly even true feelings on gay men with AIDS; Lil Nas X's beautiful dark twisted prison shower fantasy; whether Jack Harlow is hot; and finally provide a definitive list of who is and who is not allowed to say "the f-slur." It's chock full of flavor-- take a BIG, DECADENT, SINFUL bite, and then spit it out. Every calorie counts!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us financially recover from Matt Damon's abuses on Patreon.
1 hr 19 min
July 16, 2021 Gopiss Girls!
You know you love us... XOXO, The Thot Topics Girls...
Peppa who? Pig girl. We're back with a vengeance to review the dreaded Gossip Girl reboot, and it's a boot indeed. We answer all the burning questions: Can you make a good TV drama that revolves around iPhones? Is this literally just The Shade Room? Is it actually better to cast horny teens that are actually teens? ALL is revealed.
Plus, we illegally enter the White House rose garden to confront Olivia Rodrigo over her "collab" with Joe Biden. We discuss whether we regret being vaccinated, but are soon sidetracked by all the times that we have lied to Uber drivers.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make us the newest members of Manhattan's elite on Patreon.
It's not too late to buy merch! We had to jack up the prices a little bit because of supply shortages but we promise we'll get everything to you ASAP.
1 hr 20 min
July 09, 2021 Edward Vaginafingers! (feat. @yourfriendmyles)
On the first day, God fucked him all night. On the second day, God fucked him all day. On the third day, God fucked him on sight. On the fourth day, God fucked him all ways. We come to you in radical faith to spread His word. Amen, baby.
The Thot Topics e-lounge was starting to collect dust so we decided to shake out the curtains and let in the LIGHT, better known as beloved Twitter gay and friend of the pod MYLES for an excruciatingly thorough girls chat of Byzantine proportions.
First, we unpack feeling gaslit by the Azealia Banks comeback single "Fuck Him All Night." THEN, we discuss the CDC warning on poppers and the subsequent faggot panic: Nick unveils some childhood trauma and the girls settle the great Poppers debate once and for all in the process. Last but not least, we take on QUEERBAITING (!!!) Can women even do it? What makes men do it besides weird exhibitionist kinks? ALL is revealed-- especially our breasts.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Donate to the American Poppers Lobby on Patreon.
Follow the lovely and kindhearted Myles @yourfriendmyles.
1 hr 17 min
July 01, 2021 Is This Seat Theyken?
Oh fuck!! I just spilled genderfluid all over the IKEA loveseat! Sure would be a shame if someone were to... soak it up... with THEIR big ass...
We took a little break, but now it's back to us. The docket is long. The docket is thick. The docket will not be important in three days. GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT. After a riveting discussion of our teenage employment histories, we launch into the nitty-gritty: first, the IKEA pride couches. Which one would be the most comfortable for a nap? Which niche gender has the best style? What would the gay guy couch REALLY look like?
Then, we take a firm stance on the Delta Variant (known to the medical community as the Derrick Barryant), Freeing Britney, and Lil Nas X's Egyptacular gay performance.
OUR SUMMER MERCH LINE IS OUT!! Cop you a piece right now at thottopics.bigcartel.com. Use promo code BIGKAHUNA for a free I ❤️ Bussy wristband with the order of any T-shirt.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us buy a sound effects machine on Patreon.
1 hr 6 min
June 17, 2021 Thotline: ReLOADed!
You better axe somebody! (That somebody being us!)

We welcome our precious, misguided and predominantly gay male listeners onto the back porch for an in-depth therapy session for the second THOTLINE episode. After a riveting conversation about various fast sandwich chains, we launch into our listener's quandaries. We explore our listener base's psyche with an emphasis on CUNT: CARING for the broken spirit. UNLEARNING our psychic traumas. N-GAGING on a human level, and TASTING an assortment of snacking cheeses. It's a tried and true method informed by Jung, Lacan, and the mom who is a therapist in Love, Simon.

We cover a lot of ground here, folks: How does one motivate themselves to get social again after being a Covid shut-in? Is it okay to be gay and not want to fuck and suck all the time? What should you do if your romantic interest has taken to wearing statement hats? Is Jack Antonoff a total psyop? All of this and MORE is laid bare, sweetheart.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make our hotline bling on Patreon.
1 hr 21 min
June 10, 2021 Ace and Based!
What's black and brown and intersex all over? Wait, I think I fucked that up...

In one of the sweatiest episodes of all time, the girls return after a weeklong sabbatical to tackle this year's truly monstrous early pride-month discourse while eating a military ready-to-eat meal. We take on the NEW new pride flag piece by r-worded piece, from the new intersex circle, to the trans colors, to the black and brown stripes, diagnosing each group with a disease of the spirit. Then, we endure Nina West's Blue's Clues pride parade video, and finally decide whether gay people should be on TV at all.

But that's not all: is it still hard to be gay? What's the gayest branch of the military? Are adults entitled to express their sexuality once they have kids? (No) It's an extremely juicy one.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Crack us open an ice cold Michelobeon on Patreon.

Don't forget to submit your questions to the THOTLINE for next week's episode: [email protected] or call us at (872) 239-6261.
1 hr 27 min
May 28, 2021 Themme Fatales!
CALLING ALL PSYCHOS!! The Thot Topics THOTLINE is officially open once again!! We need more of your burning love and sex questions, your career dilemmas, your complex psychodramas, and your bad takes by phone and by email to be addressed on an upcoming episode. Call in at (872) 239-6261 or email us at [email protected].

Welcome to the Thot Topics Gender Terrorism and Trauma Bonding Hour. Join us as we crack open an ice cold Genderbeer and take smooth, slow sips and feel the septum piercing grow in.

This week, the girls talk about Demi Lovato's nonbinary coming-out, why gender is falling out of style, the new and improved *racially charged* Pride discourse, the Lollapalooza lineup, and the worst Drag Race cast in history! It's a spicy one, ladies.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Ass and titties. Ass and titties. Ass and titties on Patreon.
1 hr 29 min

About Thot Topics

From the publisher's feed

Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture,…