Thot Topics

Calling all white gays! Now is the time to make your voice HEARD! Take your ass out and paint #BLM on it! Draw a hammer and sickle on your abs! Drop a Gofundme link under a picture of you wearing nothing but a loincloth! Rise UP and do what must be done to save America!

The girls are joined in the Thot Topics plus-size creators headquarters by the one and only It Gay on Twitter, TikTok and beyond, Will Tanski! We clear the floor and allow him to clear his name over multiple CRISP cans of Zest Tea. What makes people online want to punish hot and fun people? What's so wrong about bringing man-titties to the game of opera? Does he REALLY not work out? ALL is revealed.

Then, we take on a thread of Crazy Gay Guy Greatest Hits-- the official canon of insane "problematic" gay Twitter takes. We get to the root of the issue and decide once and for all-- do they belong in jail, or did they have a point? We hit all the big gay classics: Age gaps! Fucking at pride! Virtue signaling! Being fat! Someone should put us in charge of something, honestly.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Say "Gay RIGHTS!" once and for all on Patreon.

Follow Will on Twitter @willtanski and Instagram @wjtanski. 

It's just the girls once more and this time, it's fucking mask OFF!

It was a busy week for music so we run (it's really more of a brisk jog) down the list of the most hyped releases of the week with no sports bra on. (Look out, you're in the splash zone!) We REDUCE Nicki Minaj's "Fractions," LIGHT UP Katy Perry's Pokemon movie theme "Electric," HUMILIATE Olivia Rodrigo, and say some nice things about Billie Eillish. It's a good time.

Then, we brace ourselves for the imminent reboot of Gossip Girl, and its showrunner's promise that the new version will feature no slut-shaming, fat-shaming or physical fights. Okay babe...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make us start seein' green on Patreon.

Read Nick's interview with Slayyyter in PopMatters.

Hey! (Hey!) What are you up to? (Mm, not much.) So I heard of this place, and it sounds like a dream... LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!

The dolls are joined in the Jacuzzi of the Spirit by the inimitable pop starlet MISS MADELINE for an in-depth discush of all things bubblegum-flavored, champagne-soaked, and bikini-clad. It's truly a girls' chat for the books. After getting our gay little fangirling out of the way, we get down to business: Does art lie beyond cringe? How do you take a stand for artistry in the face of TikTok gimmicks? Is the bimboification trend a return to female instincts? Can a human being alive name a single winner of The Voice? If Y2K aesthetics are over, what's next? ALL is revealed, especially our tits.

Plus, we get the oral history of Miss Madeline: standing by a parked Corvette until the owner returned and demanding a photoshoot inside it; taking the Business of Stupid deadly serious; and pushing the vision of a pop star into a sick, twisted and sexy future. CHEERS, bitches.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Write us a love song (fuck it, an album) on Patreon.

Follow Miss Madeline on Twitter, Instagram, and stream her genius discography on Spotify and Apple Music. 

No matter black, white, beige, chola, or orient, you are welcome at Thot Topics!

The girls are joined LIVE in the stu' with one of our favorite Chicago via NYC sisters Frank AKA @chlumbucket AKA Prolapsed Catholic! In an episode that can only be described as powerful and intentional female trauma-bonding, the ladies confront their demons, expunge their spiritual debts, and get them titties out once and for all. 

First, we review the new MARINA's state of the union address "Purge the Poison," and wonder if it's just regular bad or the ravings of a schizophrenic genius. Then, we welcome former Bachelor Colton Underwood out from the closet and into the light, and discuss his forthcoming Netflix show with "gay guide" Gus Kenworthy. Is there ANOTHER man up to the task of opening sweet Colton's eyes to the harsh realities of his new life? 

Lastly, we strap on our sexy once-piece lifeguard suits and take a deep dive into Lady Gaga's ARTPOP-- unpacking the psychology of the woman herself, and wonder what makes it so much more embarrassing than other "gay music."

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Take us to your planet on Patreon.

Follow Frank on Twitter @chlumbucket.

LIVE from the Men in Women's Business Conference, it's Thot Topics baby!

For the first time in a long while, it's just the girls coming together over some pretzel chips and purple Gatorade to get into the hottest issues of the week. Both of our pets got sick this week so we recount the TAIL in excruciating detail and touch base, yknow, as sisters.

Not much time is wasted before we unpack Lil Mama's proposed Heterosexual Rights Movement against LGBT Internet bullies. Can you grow tits from touching too many receipts? Should gay guys just marry ugly chicks and have a slampig on the side? Who REALLY should've won America's Best Dance Crew? All is revealed.

Then, we talk about Krispy Kreme's free donut deal for the vaccinated-- and wonder for how much less we'd sell our morals. PLUS, we talk Keiynan Lonsdale's "tree/treeself" preferred pronouns. At first we thought we should LEAF it alone, but we decided to go NUTS!

AND this high holiday weekend episode would not be complete without a retelling of the story of Passover. We get to the bottom of what REALLY happened when the girls fled Egypt and put it on a period hoe. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Buy us an additional Krispy Kreme donut on Patreon.

Just snorted a pill, feelin' goooood!

The gals are joined by none other than singer, rapper, producer, label owner, former e-girl and current it-girl KITTY for a once-in-a-generation girls' chat. Careers are documented, names are NAMED with no hesitation, Diet Dr. Pepper is absolutely slammed and NOTHING is off the table. Point blank, babe.

First, we catalog Kitty's discography in excruciating detail, from Okay Cupid to Charm and Mirror, and things are kept strictly buck: Are white girl rappers the harbinger of an empire in decline? Why is it stupid to write lyrics first? And that's not all: scamming ass producers, shitty boyfriends, an elite ring of airline baggage thieves, and a music video director whose parents were on set. Every era is cracked open sisters!

Then, we give Kitty the Thot Topics experience and review the week's new singles. We talk Justin Bieber's protestant banger "Hold On," psychoanalyze Gwen Stefani's "Slow Clap" and get to the evil heart at the center of [non-rap game] Taylor Swift's re-recorded "Love Story."

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Count all our starfish on Patreon.

Follow Kitty on Twitter @kittaveli and her label Pretty Wavvy on YouTube.

Girls... I'm not really even sure what to say about this one...

We WERE joined by the iconic Jordan AKA @goodboygremlin on Twitter for the bitchfest of a lifetime regarding Nick being bullied for being PrEPphobic-- but we forgot to press record and literally flapped our nasty little gums for AN HOUR before realizing that we were not recording anything whatsoever. 

But God guides our hands when we need it most, and we're pretty sure that we're left with something far better: over an hour of three young women keeping it buck, 100, and totally real with each other in an uncertain world.

First, Jordan joins the elite team of Thot Topics legal eagles in order to get to the bottom of why asexuals, aromantics and pansexuals are not protected by the new Equality Act. Then, the girls come bravely forth in defense of throuples and their right to have a baby-- but not before deciding which of them might be most qualified to have a baby themselves. And that's not all: panties with pearls for a crotch, Aromantic Hooters, which Powerpuff Girl they would be, when the last time they cried was, Super Follows, what song they would perform on American Idol if forced, and how often they're clocked as gay. It's erotic; it's medically accurate; it's Thot Topics baby!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make the Incomparable House of Pancakes a reality on Patreon.

Follow the good gremlin on Twitter @goodboygremlin.

In this house, we believe: Jack Lives Matter, Lena Dunham rights are human rights, Azealia Banks is Jewish, science is gay, love is pussy, and kindness is cunt. And like it or not, house rules are in FULL effect. Run and tell that!

The divas are joined by Jack from The Perfume Nationalist for a divalicious roundtable on all things fly, hot, and sexy. When did it become unremarkable to hear Lady Gaga playing at CVS? What makes people want to call Lana Del Rey a white supremacist? Is Tony Soprano hot, or are there too many scenes of him diarrhea shitting? We ask, and God provides the answers.

In the main event, in what can only be described as Gay Men's Business, the gals deliver the ultimate defense of both Lena Dunham AND Girls-- cataloguing their favorite episodes, which characters they relate to most, and the lie you people tell yourselves when you say you hate Lena. 

Plus, we get Jack to come out as a Carrie/Hannah. You're welcome!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. All we are asking for is $1,100 dollars, a month, for the next two years on Patreon. 

Follow Jack @lotus__point, and support TPN on Patreon, as all adventurous women do.