Thrive Solo

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In this week's minisode, I'm talking about our tendency to think that we'll be happy when...we meet the guy / get the promotion / finish the kitchen etc.

But the danger with this way of thinking is that it means our happiness is always conditional, always dependent on something or someone outside of ourselves. And when you think about it, this is doesn't make rational sense. 

The truth is that we are all responsible for generating our own happiness, and the good news is that all of us have everything we need in order to do this. And the cherry on the cake? When we generate good feelings inside of ourselves, we tend to attract more of what we want into our lives.

 

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

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In this week's episode I talk to writer, Christina Campbell. 

Christina lives in Northern Virginia, USA, with her cats. She writes about invisible illness, singles’ rights, and the inexorable onslaught of entropy. Her book, And Sarah His Wife, won the Michigan Writers’ Cooperative Press Chapbook Contest in 2017.

After earning her Master of Fine Arts in Creative Nonfiction from George Mason University, Christina co-founded the singles’ advocacy blog, Onely, with her MFA classmate, Lisa Arnold. The site deconstructs cultural stereotypes about single hood, such as the myth that unmarried people die alone, eaten by their cats!

Christina’s writing on Onely has been featured, quoted, or referenced in numerous publications, including The Atlantic.com;  PsychologyToday.com; the book Going Solo: the book Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It by Bella DePaulo; and the book It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single, by Sara Eckel.

Topics that Christina & I cover are: 

• What motivated her and her college classmate, Lisa Arnold, to start their blog, Onely;
• Why Christina started writing about systemic singlism and discrimination against single people;
• How Christina has been affected personally by systemic singlism;
• Bereavement leave, how even that seems to favour those who are married, and how Christina wasn’t entitled to take bereavement leave for two of her close relatives;
• How single people aren’t able to choose recipients of certain benefits, whereas married people are automatically allowed to benefit their spouses;
• How single hood has meant that Christina has been hugely financially disadvantaged in respect of her health care;
• The project Christina worked on which found that single people, at a certain salary rate, finish their life at least $1,000,000 worse off than their married counterparts;
• How both Christina and I have been asked by 6 year old girls why we’re not married, and why we live alone; and how important it is to show little girls that it’s ok to be alone.
• Despite several relationships, Christina has always been very content on her own and never really felt the need to couple up;
• The stigma around childless women and how they are often perceived as ‘selfish’.
• Bella DePaulo’s term ‘single at heart’ and how Christina and I feel about it.
• How our ‘women’s intuition’ is our strongest tool against the patriarchal narratives;
• Last but not least, our beloved ‘fur baby’ cats! 

Christina’s Website:
https://christinadc.com/ 

Onely blog:
https://onely.org

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

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This week's minisode is the second part of a workshop I did on Valentine's Day.

Following on from last week, I talk more about living an intentional life, the incredible power of the mind and what that means for us, how we have more agency over our lives than most of us realise, the importance of leaning into the things that make us feel good, how many of us don't dare to dream because we often don't believe that the things we truly want are possible for us, and much, much more.

I hope you enjoy it!

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

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In this week's episode, I talk to writer and presenter, Bev Turner. 

Bev has had a hugely successful career as a writer, author, radio and TV presenter. She is also mum to three kids and girlfriend to her gorgeous boyfriend, James. 

She has her own TV show - Bev Turner Today - on GB News, and has been a regular on ITV’s This Morning and Good Morning Britain, BBC Breakfast, Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine Show as well as many others. Her radio work includes 5 years hosting her own show on LBC, as well as three years co-hosting with Eammon Holmes on BBC Radio 5 Live. She co-hosted her own podcast, As Good As It Gets, for a year with her friend, Marina Fogle, and has guested on Marina’s own podcast, The Parent Hood, and Lorraine Candy and Trish Halpin’s Postcards From Midlife podcast.

Bev is also the author of three books, Touching Distance, The Pits, and The Happy Birth Book. Plus, she has written for multiple publications including The Times, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail, The Sunday Mirror and Good Housekeeping Magazine.

Topics that Bev & I cover are:

• How Bev was “born broody” and knew from a very young age that she wanted kids;
• How she bought into the pronatalist view of having children which turned out to be quite different from the realities of motherhood;
• How her ex-husband went off to row the Atlantic Ocean when their first child was very young;
• How married women with children often look at single, childfree women with a ‘sliding doors’ view;
• Bev’s version of a blissful - but rare - Friday evening home alone which allowed her to reconnect with who she is;
• That lack of headspace and the incredible weight of responsibility are the two things Bev finds hardest about being a mum;
• How there is no lonelier place than a bad relationship;
• The story of how her ex-husband, James Cracknell, suffered a severe brain injury whilst cycling across America, and how the impact of the injury had a devastating effect on their marriage;
• The idea that being single does not equate to loneliness, and neither does being married equate to not being lonely;  
• How we should all be aiming to change, because if we’re not changing then we’re not growing;
• How there is no such thing as the perfect family life.

Bev’s website:
https://www.thebevturner.co.uk/

Check out Bev’s TV Show:
https://www.gbnews.com/shows/bev-turner-today/ 

Follow Bev on Instagram: @bevturner_thatsme

Follow Bev on Twitter: @beverleyturner

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

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This week's minisode is taken from a workshop I did on Valentine's Day.

I talk about my own journey of personal growth, the narratives around single, childless women and their impact on our lives, our subconscious beliefs, living a more intentional life, how we need to choose where we place our focus, the lens through which we look at life, and much, much more.

I hope you enjoy it! 

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's episode, I talk to financial planner, author, and founder of Childfree Wealth, Jay Zigmont. 

Jay is the founder of Childfree Wealth which focuses on helping childfree people figure out their finances. He has been a life and business coach for over a decade, has a PhD in Adult Learning from the University of Connecticut, an MBA from SCSU and is a certified financial planner and a Childfree Wealth Specialist. He’s also the author of the book ‘Portraits of Childfree Wealth’ and the co-host of the ‘Childfree Life and Money Podcast’. He and his wife are childfree and live in Water Valley, Mississippi.

Topics Jay & I cover are:

• Jay’s own story of him and his wife being childfree;
• How he thinks that the stigma around being childfree is harder for women than men, but how men are not exempt from judgement;
• How his state of Mississippi does not embrace the childfree, and is heavily judgemental regarding reproductive rights;
• The difference between financial planning for childfree and ‘permanently childless’ people;
• The term ‘solo ager’;
• How both of us dislike the question “Who’s going to look after you when you get older?”
• Why being a parent doesn’t guarantee that your offspring will take care of you in your old age;
• The ‘standard life script’ and the many assumptions that come with it;
• The concept of the ‘childfree midlife crisis’ and how the problem can often be too many choices;
• Grieving what you thought your life was going to be, and choosing a new one;
• Jay’s study, Being Childfree May Not Make You Rich, But It May Make You Happy, and how 94% of the childfree people involved said they were happy with their lives;
• How one of the growing reasons for not having children is environmental factors;
• Jay’s book, Portraits of Childfree Wealth, which unwittingly revealed people’s lack of regret at not having children.
• How the definition of childfree wealth means having the time, money and freedom to do what you want.

Find out more at:
https://childfreewealth.com/

Download your FREE copy of Jay’s book here:
https://childfreewealth.com/book

Free 30 Minute Session with Jay (US Only)
https://childfreewealth.com/30-minute-q-a-with-dr-jay

Follow Jay on Instagram: 
@childfreewealth

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's minisode, I'm talking about courage.

I was inspired by the following quote - "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage." - to talk about how we must learn to cultivate courage if we want to grow, change, and become more of who we want to be.

Whatever it is we desire in life, if it's something we've never been, done or had before,  then without doubt it will require courage. Whilst our comfort zones are safe, familiar and secure, they will never allow us to get to where we truly want to go in life. So we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

And it's worth remembering that those people who seem to be courageous are actually no different to the likes of you and I; it's simply that they have taken action in spite of their inevitable fears.

Although courage doesn't come overnight, we can start flexing that muscle by taking some baby steps - every day 'small' acts of courage - like making that scary phone call, buying that pair of shoes that are a bit more whacky than our usual taste, or saying hello to that old boyfriend standing a few people ahead of us in the supermarket queue! 

So go on...do something that scares you this weekend! And watch your confidence grow as a result.   

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

Send us Fan Mail

***TRIGGER WARNING***

Towards the end of this episode, I talk about a very serious rape case, including some of the details of what happened. If you are in any way triggered by sexual assault, please stop the episode at  43" 58'.

In this week's episode, I talk to psychotherapist, Lisa Bruton. 

Lisa is a psychotherapist, trainer and guest tutor at Oxford University. With over 13 years experience in the field of psychotherapy, she is passionate about the potential of therapy to help people feel differently about their lives. At its’ best, Lisa believes that therapy is a tool that helps people relate to all parts of themselves, including as social beings with inherited norms about how to live, how to be etc.  With women, Lisa has found that this can result in shame and anger that life hasn’t turned out the way they hoped. 

With her clients, Lisa works to identify with women what some of their inherited dictates are, so that they gain some freedom from those beliefs, and subsequently engage with their lives with all their unique challenges and opportunities. She loves her work, and wants to help change the stereotype of therapy being a place of self-centredness and inaction, and rather see it as a place for real self-enquiry and authentic and grateful engagement with life. 

In this conversation, Lisa and I talk about her work as a psychotherapist with single and childless women; the internal narratives that impact the way women feel about themselves; how single women can sometimes feel as though they haven’t been ‘chosen’; and the concept of ’social parenting’ as a way to have meaningful contact with children.

We also discuss the grief that many women experience when they don’t end up having children; the importance of being mindful of what you’re consuming when going through grief around not having a baby, and how you can choose to not participate in e.g. social media; and the idea of shame, how it is felt in the body, and how the antidote to shame is contact and community. 

Our conversation also includes how negative feelings around being single are often more to do with missing regular contact than with actually wanting a relationship; how being alone is very different to the internal state of loneliness, and how the difference is whether it’s chosen or not; how the sense of failure that some women feel at being alone is often wrapped up in feelings of anger about life not having turned out the way they expected; and how important it is to forgive ourselves and understand that we’re not single because we’ve ‘done something wrong’.

Finally, we talk about Lisa’s experience of working with police officers.

Find out more / work with Lisa via her website:

https://www.lisabruton.com/

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

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In this week's minisode, I'm talking about '19 Rules For A Better Life' - at least in the mind of Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, who believed that "our life is what our thoughts make it." I couldn't agree more, Marcus.

Marcus Aurelius is known as one of the biggest proponents of Stoic philosphy, a philosophy practiced for centuries by the likes of  Ralph Waldo Emerson, Theodore Roosevelt, Walt Whitman, Thomas Jefferson and many others.  Stoicism is, among other things, a tool in the pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, wisdom and peace.

In this episode, I read out a newsletter from another great thinker, Ryan Holiday - author of Ego Is The Enemy and The Obstacle Is The Way - who picks out his favourite of Aurelius' rules for a better life, including 'never be overheard complaining', 'waste no time worrying about other people's opinions', and 'treat success and failure the same.' 

Listen, digest, implement, and you can't fail to see an improvement in your life. 

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!

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Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday, Spinsterhood Reimagined
Happy Birthday To You!

Believe it or not, my little podcast turns one...ok it's not actually today, but it's tomorrow!

On 22/2/22, I embarked upon an adventure which has changed my life. I've met so many wonderful women (and men), learnt a hell of alot along the way, and have grown in ways that I didn't anticipate. And...I've bloody loved every minute of it.

To celebrate, I thought I'd give you a little behind-the-scenes look at what producing two episodes a week actually involves; and also what I've learnt along the way during this crazy, bonkers, wild, amazing journey!

To all of you who have listened for the last year, thank you thank you thank you. I am grateful for every, single one of you.

Love,
Lucy x

Support the show

• JOIN MY ITALY TRIP IN APRIL 2027: https://www.explore.co.uk/thrivesolo-italy

• Buy my book, SHINY HAPPY SINGLES (UK) / THRIVE SOLO (US & Canada) at: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book

• Join my membership community for single women, Thrive Solo: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/thrivesolo

• Download my FREE PDF 'Top 10 Comebacks for the Most
  Annoying Questions Single Women Get Asked'
•  Go to: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/comebacks

• Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@thrivesolowithlucymeggeson 

• Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share

• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivesolowithlucymeggeson/

• Email me: [email protected] 

And thank you so much for listening!