I’m thrilled to welcome back two favorite podcast guests and just all-around wonderful humans, Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson. You might know them from their bestselling book The Self-Driven Child, which I often refer to on this show as one of the most important resources in my parenting life. Well, Bill and Ned have a new phenomenal resource that I can’t wait to share with you — a workbook based on their beloved book called The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child. 

Today’s episode features a rich and deep conversation about some of the concepts they support parents in navigating in their new workbook, like why fostering autonomy is key to motivation, emotional well-being, and long-term success, why connection matters more than control, how to support our kids without trying to change them, and ways we can create a home environment that builds confidence and trust. They also share practical strategies for effective communication, including how to guide our kids through challenges without adding pressure or anxiety.

As parents, it is scary to let go of control and to trust our kids to navigate their own problems, but as you’ll hear in this conversation, this is exactly what they need to be motivated. We know we can’t change them, but we can support them in finding the reason to change for themselves.

William R. Stixrud, Ph.D., is a clinical neuropsychologist and founder of The Stixrud Group. He is a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Additionally, Dr. Stixrud is the author, with Ned Johnson, of the nationally bestselling book, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, What Do You Say: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home, and The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook.

Ned Johnson is president and “tutor-geek” of PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring and standardized test preparation. A battle-tested veteran of test prep, stress regulation and optimizing student performance, Ned has spent roughly 50,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests, learn to manage their anxiety, and develop their own motivation to succeed. Ned is the host of the The Self-Driven Child podcast. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, NPR, The Guardian, Wall Street Journal, US News, Seventeen, and many others.

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Children's picture book author / illustrator Samantha Cotterill discusses her new book series, Little Senses, which highlights the experience of children with sensory issues or ASD, and also shares her own journey of growing up as a girl on the spectrum.

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Today, we are talking about one of the most accessible and impactful tools we’ve got to help our kids thrive. But this tool is so simple and obvious that we may not even realize its immense power. I’m talking about WORDS, as in, the words we use when talking with our children. The language we use with our children can make a profound difference in the way our kids relate to themselves and how their brains process situations. 

We’re going to explore this concept with Lily Howard Scott, an educator, speaker, and author of the new book,The Words That Shape Us: The Science-Based Power of Teacher Language. Lily has spent nearly a decade teaching elementary school and now helps educators create classrooms where children feel known, valued, and empowered. She’s passionate about the ways language can influence how kids see themselves, process emotions, and build resilience, and she wrote this book to help teachers, parents, and any other adults who work with children positively transform how students think, feel, and achieve through effectively tapping into this tool that everyone has access to.

During our conversation, Lily shares how small shifts in the way we speak to children—both at home and in the classroom—can make a huge difference in their confidence, emotional intelligence, and ability to navigate challenges. We talked about practical strategies, like using metaphors to help kids manage emotions and reframing how we talk about mistakes and setbacks. Lily also explained the role that words play in fostering a sense of belonging and emotional safety in children, which is essential for learning and growth, especially for neurodivergent kids who may struggle with self-perception.

These are small shifts that can make a huge difference, so I hope you can take these suggestions and apply them right after you finish listening to this episode. Enjoy my conversation with Lily Howard Scott.

Lily Howard Scott (MSEd) is an educator and author. Her work is centered around helping children navigate their inner lives, connect with each other, and take the risks that lead to meaningful learning. Scott presents regularly at national conferences, and her writing about the importance of a child-centric, holistic approach to teaching and learning has been published in Edutopia and The Washington Post, among other publications. For nearly 10 years, Lily taught elementary school in both public and independent settings. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two young children. The Words That Shape Us (Scholastic) is her first book

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Eileen Devine, a neurobehavioral therapist and support coach, discusses supporting children with brain-based neurodevelopmental challenges resulting from pre-natal exposure to drugs or alcohol, as well as the unique challenges for adoptive parents raising atypical children.

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​Today I’ve got a really interesting conversation for you about a relatively new instruction model that is designed to create learning environments that truly meet the needs of every student. It’s called the Modern Classroom Project, and my guest is Robert Barnett, is the co-founder of the model as well as the author of the new book that describes this approach called Meet Every Learner’s Needs: Redesigning Instruction So All Learners Can Succeed. Rob has spent years teaching across different subjects and age groups, and he’s passionate about transforming education to be more flexible, engaging, and student-centered.

In this episode, you’ll hear Rob broke down the Modern Classroom instructional model, which gives students more agency over their learning by allowing them to move at their own pace and collaborate with each other to achieve mastery. He also explained why instructional videos can enhance accessibility, how mastery checks help confirm readiness before advancing to the next lesson, and how, ultimately, this model prioritizes the critical role of teacher-student relationships in fostering engagement and trust. Rob also shared insights into why traditional education systems often struggle to meet the needs of all the learners, as well as how parents can share the Modern classroom resources with their kids’ teachers or school administration.

I love talking with people who are on a mission to shake up big systems, and this is definitely one of those inspirational conversations. I hope you enjoy this conversation with Rob Barnett.

Robert Barnett co-founded the Modern Classrooms Project, which has empowered 80,000+ educators in 180+ countries to meet every learner’s needs. Before that he taught math, computer science, English, social studies, and law, from the middle-school to university levels, at public and private schools in the U.S. and abroad. He is the author of Meet Every Learner’s Needs: Redesigning Instruction So All Learners Can Succeed and he hopes his children will learn in Modern Classrooms someday!

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Nutritionist Jess Sherman shares ideas for how parents can bring more nourishment into their children’s lives, including, or maybe especially those with food sensitivities, picky or aggressive behavior.

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If your child has extreme food aversions, anxiety around eating, or struggles with a very limited diet, you won’t want to miss this conversation. Today we’re diving into ARFID — Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder — or as my guest calls it, “picky eating on steroids.” To talk about ARFID, I circled back to Zoë Bisbing, a licensed psychotherapist and the director of Body-Positive Therapy NYC who specializes in treating eating disorders and body image concerns with an affirming, neurodiversity-friendly approach. Zoë holds a Master of Social Work from New York University, a Bachelor of Arts from Smith College, and a certification in Family-Based Treatment from the Institute for Child and Adolescent Eating Disorders. Today, she’s sharing her expertise on the unique ways ARFID presents in neurodivergent children.

In this fascinating conversation, Zoë broke down what ARFID is, how it differs from other eating disorders, and why she sees it as a form of neurodivergence in its own right. We talked about how sensory sensitivities, anxiety, and even trauma can contribute to restrictive eating, and how the pandemic exacerbated these challenges for many kids. Zoe also explains why traditional eating disorder treatments often don’t work for ARFID and why a child-centered, individualized approach is key to building a positive relationship with food.

And a small ask before I play the episode — if you enjoy this episode, please hit the share episode button on your app and send it to a friend or post a link to it in a community of parents with neurodivergent children. I know that when families are struggling with complex challenges like ARFID, it can be difficult to find neurodiversity-affirming resources.

Zoë Bisbing, MSW, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist, speaker, and content creator. She is the director of Body-Positive Therapy NYC, a group therapy practice, and Body-Positive Home, a learning and healing hub for parents and professionals who want to nurture a more embodied and inclusive next generation… and heal their own food and body stuff while they are at it. You can follow her on instagram @mybodypositivehome for bite-sized body-positive basics and body image healing and her forthcoming Substack, Body-Positive Home.

Zoë holds a Master of Social Work from New York University, a Bachelor of Arts from Smith College, and a certification in Family-Based Treatment from the Institute for Child and Adolescent Eating Disorders. A native New Yorker, Zoë lives in a fiercely neurodivergent-affirming, body-positive home in Manhattan with her husband, three children, and two dogs.

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My guest this week is autism and neurodiversity support specialist Kristy Forbes of In Tune Pathways. Kristy is the parent of four autistic children, and has an abundance of emotional, practical, and lived experience both working with and raising children who are neurodivergent. She has an extensive background in early childhood education and psychology, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, is passionate about radical acceptance without the need or intention to fix, change or cure, particularly in regard to children.

Kristy was diagnosed as autistic at age thirty-three herself, and has committed herself to working with children and adults on the autism spectrum, with a special interest on people who, like her, have a PDA expression. In this episode, we share a deep conversation about how parents can truly tune in to who their children are and show up for them in a way that reflects true respect for their children’s neurodivergence. We cover a lot of ground, including the PDA profile of autism, how parents can get clear about their intentions when exploring interventions for their children on the spectrum, how to support families through periods of intensity and very difficult behavior, and the trauma that can result when children are perpetually in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode because they’re being forced to conform to a way of being that isn’t true to who they are.

Kristy is a wise and genuine spirit who is doing healing work for so many families… I’m grateful to be able to share this conversation with you.

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Listen to an episode of Understood.org's podcast ADHD Aha!, a podcast about ADHD. Hear the unexpected and emotional ways ADHD symptoms surface for kids and adults, and the moments when it clicks that ADHD is real.

Learn more here.

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Today’s conversation feels both important and timely, because they’re tackling a challenge so many parents are facing: how to help disengaged teens reconnect with learning. My guests are Jenny Anderson, an award-winning journalist focused on learning and parenting, and Rebecca Winthrop, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution specializing in education innovation. Together, they’ve been diving deep into the science of student engagement, and today, they’re sharing what they’ve learned about reigniting curiosity and motivation in kids who have checked out of school and their excellent new book, The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better.

In our conversation, Jenny and Rebecca broke down why engagement isn’t just about academics—it’s an intricate mix of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral factors, often even more complex for neurodivergent children. We discussed the connection between technology and disengagement, why traditional models of education often fail to meet kids where they are, and how parents can foster curiosity by modeling a love of learning. Jenny and Rebecca also walked us through the four modes of learning and offered strategies to help kids switch from resistor, passenger, or achiever mode into explorer mode, which is the mode where kids learn best.

One of the most powerful takeaways from this discussion is the reminder that resistance in learning doesn’t equal a lack of interest in learning—it’s often a signal that the context is not working for the student.

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