This episode is a deep dive into pathological demand avoidance in children (also known as PDA), which is typically defined as a pervasive developmental disorder that falls under the autism spectrum. It’s a label that’s frequently used in the United Kingdom, and it’s often defined as a complicated and misunderstood condition wherein some people have a heightened anxiety response to demands being placed on them. PDA isn’t universally recognized as a diagnosis, and it’s also a label rooted in controversy.

To talk with us about all of this is friend of the podcast Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment of ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and autism spectrum disorders, about the diagnostic process.

Melissa Neff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT. She conducts psychological evaluations for children and adults. She specializes in the assessment of giftedness, ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and typical and atypical presentations of autism.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve touched on the theory of self-determination on the show before, but today, I’m thrilled to dedicate an entire episode to this important topic. Joining me for this deeper dive is Dr. Gina Riley, an expert in self-determination theory and motivation. This conversation will resonate with so many of you because it beautifully ties into themes we often explore here, like low-demand parenting and fostering our kids’ natural passions and strengths.

In this episode, Gina explains the theory of self-determination and dives into the science behind why it’s so impactful, particularly for neurodivergent kids. We explore how it connects with autonomy-supportive parenting and discuss the three tenets of cognitive evaluation theory, which examines what fosters intrinsic motivation. We also tackle the hot topic of whether extrinsic motivators like stickers and rewards have a place and how to genuinely connect with our kids' interests—even when they differ from our own.

Gina Riley, Ph.D., is an educational psychologist, Program Director, and Clinical Professor of Adolescent Special Education at CUNY – Hunter College. She has conducted significant research on homeschooling and unschooling, an educational method and philosophy that advocates student intrinsic motivation as a primary means for learning. In addition to her research on self-directed learning environments, Dr. Riley has expertise in Supported Decision Making, an alternative to guardianship for students with disabilities. She is a faculty advisor for Supported Decision Making New York, promoting autonomy and self-determination for individuals with disabilities. 

Dr.Riley also has extensive experience in online, hybrid, and HyFlex education, having been actively involved in the field since 1998. Her contributions to educational psychology and alternative education models have been influential in shaping contemporary discussions on personalized and flexible learning approaches. Dr. Riley is the author of numerous academic articles and three books, including Unschooling:Exploring Learning Beyond the Classroom (Palgrave, 2020), The Homeschooling Starter Guide (Simon & Schuster, 2021), and The Joys of Self Determined Learning: A Collection of Essays (Ricci Publishing, 2022). She is the current President-Elect of the New York State Association of Teacher Educators.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sherri Cawn, a leading practitioner of the DIR/Floortime® model in speech and language development, explores characteristics, assessment, intervention of communication disorders in children.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know that parenting kids who are struggling with mental health challenges can sometimes feel overwhelming, as though we’re not equipped to handle what’s happening. When our kids are going through tough mental health moments, it can be isolating, scary, and exhausting. That’s why I’m so grateful for the work of my guest today, Dr. Christine Crawford, the associate medical director for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization.

Dr. Crawford is the author of the new book, You Are Not Alone for Parents and Caregivers: The NAMI Guide to Navigating Your Child’s Mental Health—With Advice from Experts and Wisdom from Real Families. It’s an incredibly helpful handbook for any parent navigating this challenging path. The book covers everything from how to talk to our kids about their mental health, to what to do if a long-awaited therapist doesn’t turn out to be the right fit. It also delves into practical and emotional concerns, such as recognizing signs of depression, understanding our critical role as parents in the mental health team, and learning about concepts like the “distress radius” to better gauge the impact of mental health issues.

Finally, a quick content warning: this episode includes discussions of suicidal ideation and other sensitive mental health topics. If these are difficult subjects for you, please prioritize your well-being while listening.

Christine M. Crawford, MD, MPH is the associate medical director for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) which is the country’s largest grassroots mental health organization. She is an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Vice Chair of Education at the Boston University School of Medicine. She also provides outpatient psychiatric care to children and adolescents at Boston Medical Center. Additionally, she’s the Medical Director for the Boston Public Health Commission’s School Based Clinician Program in which she provides direct guidance on how best to support the socioemotional wellbeing of children within the Boston Public School System. On behalf of NAMI, she regularly engages with the general public, as well as with organizations, companies, healthcare providers, and fellow clinicians and researchers. She is a trusted source of child mental health expertise for major media outlets including the New York Times, the Washington Post, NPR, the Boston Globe, NBC, and Medscape. She has made on-camera appearances for the Today Show, BBC, and local news affiliates of CBS, Fox, and ABC. She lives with her family in Boston, Massachusetts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rita Eichenstein, author of "Not What I Expected: Help and Hope for Parents of Atypical Children," talks about how parents can process the discovery that their child is neurodivergent.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Debbie Reber and parent coach Margaret Webb answer a listener's question about how to deal with chaotic energy among children during the bedtime transition (as well as other big transitions).

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Allie Ticktin, a licensed occupational therapist with a specialty in sensory integration and early childhood development, talks about how to tap into the power of play to support a child's learning and development.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ll say right upfront that this is a different kind of episode for the podcast, but stick with me, because today, we’re diving into digital decluttering. I know firsthand the toll digital clutter can take. Raising neurodivergent kids means managing a ton of information — from school communications and teacher emails to scheduling appointments, handling assessments, and organizing documentation. It’s a lot to keep track of, and it can really weigh us down.

If you can relate, this episode is for you. I invited tech and productivity coach Amanda Jefferson, affectionately known as the Tech Whisperer, to help us tackle digital clutter. Amanda guides busy people through streamlining their digital lives and speaks about silencing society’s noisy “shoulds.” She’s a TEDx speaker, one of the world’s first KonMari consultants, and co-host of the Good Enough-ish podcast. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Harper’s Bazaar, and Good Day Philadelphia.

In our conversation, we discussed the importance of digital decluttering, particularly for neurodivergent families. Amanda shared strategies for securely storing essential documents, organizing email to reduce stress, managing passwords, and using what she calls “free assistants” on our devices to make daily routines run more smoothly.

Even if you consider yourself tech-savvy, I think you’ll learn something new in this episode. Enjoy, and hopefully, you’ll walk away with some actionable steps!

Amanda Jefferson is a tech and productivity coach, TEDx speaker, one of the world’s first KonMari consultants, and host of the top-rated Good Enough-ish podcast. She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Harpers Bazaar, Good Day Philadelphia, and more. She was recently named a Top 50 Women Speaker of 2024 by renowned speaker and author Jess Ekstrom. Known affectionately as the Tech Whisperer, Amanda helps busy people declutter their digital lives and talks to audiences about how to quiet the noisy shoulds of society.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Debbie talks with four differently wired adults who share their stories of discovering and/or learn more about their own neurodivergence as a result of parenting their differently wired children.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m thrilled to finally welcome Drs. Brock and Fernette Eide to the show! They’re the authors of the groundbreaking, recently updated book The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain. As leading experts in dyslexia, Brock and Fernette have reshaped our understanding of dyslexia through a strengths-based lens. They continue this work through their nonprofit, Dyslexic Advantage, and their social purpose company, Neurolearning. Rather than viewing dyslexia as a disorder, they advocate for understanding it as a unique learning and processing style. In today’s conversation, you’ll hear how their approach brings out the exceptional qualities and talents in dyslexic individuals.

In our discussion, we explored their new approach to dyslexia that begins not with definitions but with how the dyslexic mind functions. We covered the various ways dyslexia can manifest beyond reading challenges, why some twice-exceptional dyslexic kids are often overlooked under traditional definitions, and the importance of embracing dyslexia as part of one's identity. We also dove into strategies for advocating with schools to secure accommodations and discussed different ways students can thrive academically.

This updated edition of The Dyslexic Advantage also highlights how a strengths-centered framework is gaining traction in schools and workplaces, plus new insights into the neurobiology underlying dyslexia and its associated strengths. As you’ll hear from Brock and Fernette, understanding dyslexia more fully allows us to open up conversations with educators about alternative learning strategies that may benefit not just our kids, but all students in the classroom.

Leading experts on dyslexia and authors of the groundbreaking book The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain, Brock Eide, MD, MA, and Fernette Eide, MD, have been at the forefront of redefining our understanding of dyslexia. In the updated 2023 edition, they incorporate the latest research and modern techniques to highlight a strength-based approach to dyslexia, moving away from traditional deficit-focused models. This revision features 20 new interviews, insights into how a strengths-centered framework is being implemented in schools and workplaces, and fresh information on the neurobiology that underpins dyslexia and its associated strengths.

The Eides advocate for viewing dyslexia as a unique learning and processing style rather than a disorder. Their influential work has played a pivotal role in transforming conventional views on dyslexia and has inspired countless individuals. Together, they are the authors of The Dyslexic Advantage and The Mislabeled Child, and they founded the nonprofit organization Dyslexic Advantage and the social purpose company Neurolearning.com. They reside in Edmonds, Washington, with their son.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices