Tiny Leaps, Big Changes

In this episode, we look at how to be a supportive partner. 

Written By: Sophie Sumpter | https://www.instagram.com/sorosum/

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The Problem:

Choosing to share your life with a romantic partner looks different for everyone. Cohabitating, long distance relationships, choosing to have children or not. There are a lot of choices and none of them are necessarily “right” or “wrong”. However, there is one common denominator among every successful relationship: your partner will one day face challenges that are outside of your control and outside of your experience. So how do you support them when you can’t move a roadblock out of their path? Is it even your responsibility to move it?

Digging Deeper:

Throughout the course of your relationship, the type of support that your partner needs may change. Mental illness, chronic pain, cancer, or family deaths name a few of the unpredictable things that may throw your relationship for a loop. According to the National Law Review, stress about finances, parenting disagreements, and household responsibilities are some of the most common challenges faced in relationships. To make things worse, COVID-19 has heightened anxieties leading to an uptick in divorce rates (National Law Review, 2020). According to the New York Post, the number of people seeking divorce from March to June of this year was 34% higher than March to June of 2019 (Rosner, 2020). Newly weds seem to be the demographic seeking divorce at a higher rate than ever before (Rosner, 2020).

The Solution

Supporting your partner through a difficult situation involves first realizing that we all have problems that we go through. This seems like a general statement that we are all aware of, but it’s important to acknowledge and be reminded of. Our partner’s struggles may be similar to or the same problem as the ones we are facing, but their experience is entirely independent of our own. It can be easy to ignore this when we get so caught up in our own day to day struggle. We may experience the exact same thing as another person, such as the pandemic, but no two experiences are exactly the same.

SOURCES:

Medina, Raphael. Supporting Your Partner: Long Term Illness. (2020). Ultimate Love Counseling & Coaching. 

Retrieved from https://ultimatelovecc.com.supporting-your-partner-long-term-illness/.

Rosner, Elizabeth. (2020). Divorce Rates Skyrocket in US Amidst Pandemic. New York Post.

Retrieved from https://nypost.com/2020/09/01/divorce-rates-skyrocket-in-u-s-amid-covid-19/.

National Law Review. (2020). Divorce Rates and COVID-19. 

Retrieved from https://www.natlawreview.com/article/divorce-rates-and-covid-19.

Cramer, Duncan. (2006). How Supportive Partner May Increase Relationship Satisfaction.

British Journal of Guidance & Counseling. 

Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/03069880500483141

In this episode, we look at how we form habits.

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The Problem

I’ve mentioned on this podcast a number of times that the secret to moving forward is taking consistent action over long periods of time. I’ve also spent an enormous amount of time talking about how taking advantage of the habit system can make it significantly easier to do that.

The process for change becomes really simple when we break it down into these two things.

It’s basic, straightforward, and makes sense. But obviously simple and basic aren’t quite enough to create change.

Digging Deeper

You may already know this but let’s quickly cover what exactly a habit is. According to Oxford, a habit is defined as a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

In other words, they are the things you regularly lean towards doing when faced with a similar situation. This could be something good for you like brushing your teeth or it could be something detrimental like responding negatively to anxiety.

This is an important point. From the brain’s point of view, there is no difference between a good habit and a bad habit. There are just tendencies in our behavior that get reinforced.

So how do habits form? In a response on the website 1440.org Dr. Judson Brewer said this about habits:

“In brain speak, the habit loop needs a trigger, a behavior, and a reward.”

The Solution

Well the first thing to remember is that it doesn’t matter whether you are purposefully building a good habit or accidentally building a bad habit. The process is going to be the same. This means you need to be careful of how you respond to things.

But assuming that we want to purposefully build a good habit, one that aligns with the goals we’ve set, then we simply need to look at the process and try to create those outcomes.

We need a trigger of some kind and we need a similar context. This could be anything, just pick something that you can repeat on a close to daily basis. This is why tools like Habit Stacking, the process of piling a new habit on top of an existing habit work. The existing habit already has a trigger and so you piggy back your new habit with that existing trigger.

In this episode, we look at why working hard isn't enough to create the life you want. 

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In this episode, we look at why failure is such a big problem.

Sponsor: http://athleticgreens.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we look at how anxiety might be a habit. 

Sponsor: http://curology.com/tinyleaps

Resources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/worry-and-panic/201505/how-break-the-habit-being-worried-and-anxious

https://www.anxietycentre.com/FAQ/can-thinking-anxiously-turn-into-a-habit.shtml

https://www.1440.org/blog/is-anxiety-a-habit-talking-with-dr-judson-brewer

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/causes-of-anxiety

In this episode, we look at two different approaches to changing behavior and break down which is the “best”.

Get excited because you are now listening to Tiny Leaps, Big Changes.

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In this episode, we look at 3 personal finance podcasts that are worth checking out. 

Resources Mentioned:

https://network.tlbc.co/show/market-adventures/

https://www.investingfromthebeach.com/

https://martinisandyourmoney.com/

http://tinyleapsplus.com

In this episode, we look at a bad habit you should try to break asap. 

Resources Mentioned:

http://blinkist.com/tinyleaps

http://tinyleapsplus.com

In this episode, we look at 3 simple ways to stop hitting snooze. 

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In this episode, I share 3 habits you should consider building asap.