Tiny Leaps, Big Changes

In this episode, we look at why trying something once and subsequently failing at it matters so much for finding success.

The Problem

What if I told you that there is a real reason why you are struggling to achieve your goals? Like a real, solid reason. Not some wishy washy excuse?

Well there is. It may not be the only reason, and it certainly isn’t some secret technique that you need to pay me money to learn. But there is a real reason.

The reason is simple, we don’t fully understand the process of setting goals and working towards them.

Digging Deeper

For years the self-help industry has touted the value of setting goals. There have been hundreds of books, podcasts, youtube videos, and speeches dedicated to the topic. We’ve created frameworks and processes and systems designed to make goal-setting easier or more straightforward.

I’ve been a part of this too. Because for a long time I bought into the idea that the biggest problem in goal-setting was just that the systems were broken. I thought that if we could just improve the process for people then more people would accomplish there goals.

That might still be true, but improving the system does nothing if it doesn’t consider the reality of the situation that the system deals with.

The Solution

So here’s my advice. Try things. Try them once. 

Use that initial motivation to fuel immediate action and take it. Fail at it. Let yourself go through the full process. 

Doing this will allow you to get an idea of the work involved and what kind of motivation is required to sustain yourself. It will also help you understand whether or not this is a goal worth trying again. 

The good news is that if you do decide to try again you’ll be approaching it with a much more balanced understanding of the effort required for that outcome. This should help reduce that burnout and keep you running much longer.

Instagram:

http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

Resources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuronarrative/202003/why-we-often-fail-reach-our-goals

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166432819313889

In this episode, we look at 3 podcasts I recommend for improving your mental health.

Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com

Part 1: The Problem

There are currently over 1 million podcasts out there for you to choose from with over 30 million episodes available. At least those numbers are from April so you can bet there are even more now.

So what are we to do??

This week I want to shine a spotlight on podcasts that I think are invaluable when it comes to our mental health. So without further delay let's get into the list.

Part 2: Digging Deeper

The first show I want to highlight is one you might already be familiar with. It's called Therapy for Black Girls. Now I've got a bit of a confession to make *deep breath* and I'm not sure how to say this so I'm just going to say it....I am not a black girl...

I know I know, shocking news. But I've never given this show a chance specifically because of that. I thought "I'm glad this resource exists for black girls and women but based on the name I probably won't get much from it".

Girl was I wrong and I'm happy I was.

Therapy for Black Girls is hosted by Dr. Joy Harden Bradford who is an actual licensed Psychologist and the podcast covers a number of topics that people of all races genders and ages should be exploring. A recent episode I listened to was on the importance of self-compassion.

Dr. Joy covers a lot of other important topics like embracing yourr queer identity, whether or not relationships HAVE to be hard work, Collective Grief, and Loneliness. 

The second podcast I want to recommend is Tori Dealing With...Hosted by Tori Deal who made a name for herself on the reality show The Challenge the podcast shares first hand perspectives on various challenges and issues that every day people face each day. Similar to what I try and do here on Tiny Leaps, Big Changes.

Tori talks about dealing with topics like anxiety, change, love, failure, forgiveness, cannibis and really anything else you might be thinking about on a day to day basis. In each episode she shares a story that helped guide her views on the subject, is crystal clear that she is just sharing her own experience rather than trying to push something on you,

There is a ton of value in this podcast that you'll be missing out on if you choose to avoid it.

Part 3: The Solution

So these are the two podcasts I'd recommend looking into for mental health topics. I'd love to hear from you, what podcasts are you listening to that have helped your mental health?

Useful Links:

https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

https://tori-dealing-with.simplecast.com/

Instagram:

http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we take a look at one simple habit you can build that can help you set up your day for success.

Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com

Part 1: Presenting the Problem

One thing we've always known is that starting our days off right can be the difference between feeling successful and productive or feeling like the day got away from you. But how exactly do you go about starting your day off right?

The common answer here is to develop a morning routine but morning routines can often be hard to keep up, long, and difficult to fit into our lives.

So I started asking myself....if I could only do one thing in the morning to get my day started what would it be? What is the tiny leap,  the smallest, most impactful step you could take?

Part 2: Diving Deeper

Well it turns out that the answer is stretching. Yeah, stretching first thing in the morning is one habit that, if done can have massive effects on your energy levels, mood, and overall experience throughout the rest of the day.

According to an article on South Dakota State University's website:

"Stretching first thing in the morning can relieve any tension or pain from sleeping the night before. It also helps increase your blood flow and prepares your body for the day ahead."

Overnight as we sleep our bodies are rarely moving. As a result our muscles get sore, our joints get tight, and our blood pressure goes down. When we wake our bodies naturally work to reset these but a good stretch can be an excellent short cut to help make this happen faster.

Here's what an article on Scientific American has to say about blood flow to the brain:

"Part of the reason exercise enhances cognition has to do with blood flow. Research shows that when we exercise, blood pressure and blood flow increase everywhere in the body, including the brain. More blood means more energy and oxygen, which makes our brain perform better."

Part 3: The Solution

All of that just from stretching each morning. Easy right? So while having a full morning routine that includes stretching would be a good thing, if you find yourself with less time to work with or if you find yourself struggling to be consistent with that routine just focus on stretching and you can still get some huge benefits.

Useful Links:

https://extension.sdstate.edu/benefits-stretching

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-you-think-better-after-walk-exercise/

Instagram

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In this episode, I share a snippet of my conversation on the Big Questions podcast with Cal Fussman. 

Listen to his podcast here: https://www.calfussman.com/podcast

Full Interview: https://bigquestions-calfussman.libsyn.com/gregg-clunis-taking-care-of-your-money

Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we look at simple ways to fit personal development into your day. Even if you only have 2 minutes free.

Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com

Part 1: Presenting the Problem

Making time for yourself can be difficult. Between work, your family, regular chores of being an adult, your friends...etc life can get hectic and time can fly by quickly.

Part 2: Diving Deeper

This is even worse in today's world thanks to the expectation from many employers to be constantly connected and always on.

So how can you build personal development into your day when you just can't find the time? Or what do you do when the only time you have is the moments at the end of the day when you are too exhausted to do anything?

Well here an easy way to integrate personal development into your day to day life.

Part 3: The Solution

1. How much time do you truly have?

Something I've talked about in the past is that many of us feel we don't have the time to do something, but in actuality it's just that the time isn't available in one block.

The issue is that these hours are not concentrated and so they either go unnoticed or, even if you are aware of them, they are difficult to utilize.

Well the first step is to get an accurate understanding of what time you have available, even if that time is spread out. I'd start with doing an audit of your day. That means to live your life as normal but to take note of the moments throughout the day where something else could be done at the same time or where it feels too short and so nothing valuable gets done at all.

Do this audit for about a week to get an accurate average of this free time.

2. Get focused

The trick with making progress even when time and energy is limited is to be as focused as possible. 

So improving our "life" is actually impossible. Instead, we need to aim to improve one area of our life at a time. Those improvements will trickle into the rest of your life thus leading to overall improvements.

So once you know how much time you actually have to work with it's time to pick an area like fitness, nutrition, finances, career, relationships, or mental health.

3. Pick your strategy

Certain activities and tasks are really not suited to limited chunks of time spread throughout the day.

When you have limited time, and that time is broken up throughout different moments of the day, you need to start thinking tiny and organized.

So if fitness is your focus, and you only have short, 5 minute sprints throughout the day, then finding routines that can maximize that time would be best.

It seems small and unimportant, but it's where the journey starts. Eventually it will become more of a priority in your life and you'll clear other things out to make it happen. But that won't happen unless you start where you are.

Instagram

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In this episode, we look at how to deal with personal development overwhelm.

Try Better Help: http://betterhelp.com/tinyleaps

[YouTube Video] How to Be More Productive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QhPUoVHkpQ

Part 1: The Problem

Personal development is an incredibly complicated and frustrating process. Our lives are so complex, there are so many areas to consider, and the list of constraints we face on a day to day basis are quite honestly insane.

Then, when we finally make the decision to take charge and gain control, we're met by a thousand different "teachers" or "guides" in the space each sharing their "unique process or system" designed to help you change your entire life....all for just $1,997 dollars and .97 cents.

You know you don't need all that...shit you couldn't even afford it if you wanted to. If you had that kind of money just sitting around things would honestly be a little easier.

So you decide to just put in the time. You start taking some action and you start seeing some results and you feel good.

Then one day you wake up and.....you don't know what to do.

You have no idea what to focus on. Where to spend your time. What's important and what isn't.

All of a sudden you're overwhelmed.

Overwhelm is a major problem in personal development and it only gets worse the more ambitious or driven you are, but what can we do about it?

Part 2: Diving Deeper

Well we first have to look at what's going on when we get overwhelmed.

According to the abstract of an article published by Amy F. T. Arnsten

"The prefrontal cortex (PFC)—the most evolved brain region—subserves our highest-order cognitive abilities. However, it is also the brain region that is most sensitive to the detrimental effects of stress exposure. Even quite mild acute uncontrollable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities, and more prolonged stress exposure causes architectural changes in prefrontal dendrites."

Here's how the article describes the role of the pre-frontal cortex:

"The prefrontal cortex (PFC) intelligently regulates our thoughts, actions and emotions through extensive connections with other brain regions. It creates a “mental sketch pad” through networks of neurons that can maintain information in the absence of environmental stimulation"

Part 3: The Solution

The solution here is to move slower and give yourself the room to rest

Look at the process of change as one of starts and stops? Why not let it be okay to try and fail and try again and fail again? Why not embrace the fact that we are going to get overwhelmed because our poor, squishy little brain is dealing with A LOT and that that is okay. 

Instagram:

http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

Resources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2907136/

In this episode, we look at why the outcome of your actions matter far less than you think.

Try Blinkist: http://blinkist.com/tinyleaps

Part 1: Presenting the Problem

When focusing on improving some area of our lives we tend to get caught up in the outcomes that we create. Did we eat well or not? Did we save money or not? Did we lose weight or not?

This makes sense, focusing on the outcomes allows us to measure progress and gives us a guide for what direction to go in.

The problem is that focusing exclusively on outcomes ignores the very real value that exists just from the decision itself and the process that follows.

Part 2: Diving Deeper

Here's what I mean. When you make a decision to pursue something. Like truly make a decision. Not one of those half baked decisions that you never act on but when you finally get to a place where action because natural.

That kind of decision causes massive shifts in the way you view yourself. In your identity.

No, you don't identify as a runner. But all of a sudden you are a person who could be a runner.

No you don't run a successful business. But all of a sudden you are a person who could do that.

No you don't have a lot of money saved up. But all of a sudden you are a person who could.

The act of making a decision. A real, meaty decision, shifts the way you view yourself. It shifts what you view as possible for yourself. It shifts your entire sense of self. Even before action is taken.

Then, once you start taking action another shift occurs.

You start to realize just how possible it is.

Whereas before you became a person who could, in theory, accomplish your goals, now you start to a wrap your head around it. You start to see what's required more clearly. You start to see the path.

When you take action..that is, trying things, failing, experimenting, reading, learning, trying again, asking questions...etc...you start to find you way.

It's almost like stumbling through the darkness trying to find your way out. All you can do is take a step, hold out your hands, and feel your way forward.

That's exactly what taking action does for you. With each step you start to form a slightly more clear mental picture of your surroundings. Of what's required.

Between these two things....making a decison, and starting to take action, you experience massive growth as a person. You become a better you, one more prepared, more confident, and more capable than ever before.

Whether or not you successfully accomplish the goal, abandon it, or fail trying doesn't really matter.

Part 3: The Solution

So let's shift the way we view success. Let's start place more emphasis on the part of things that truly matters. Making a decision and taking action. If we do those things, we win. No matter the outcome.

Instagram

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In this episode, we look at 2 concrete things you can do today to start building your self-confidence.

Try Raycon: http://buyraycon.com/tinyleaps

Part 1: Presenting the Problem

So much of our lives and our ability to take consistent action comes down to our levels of self-confidence.

If we have it, we feel more comfortable taking certain actions, trying new things, and going for what we want. This relationship to ourselves leads to more successes which leads to an increased level of self-confidence.

If we don't have it, we are less likely to take action. That reduced level of action leads to fewer successes which leads to decreased levels of self-confidence. Or at the very least, reduce the overall list of successes you can pull from to create that self-confidence.

Part 2: Diving Deeper

Unfortunately building self-confidence can be challenging. Ultimately confidence comes through taking action and achieving success. Building a history and building a sense of trust with yourself.

But it's a catch 22. If you want to build self-confidence you need to take action, but if you want to take action you need to have self-confidence.

So what can you do?

Part 3: The Solution

Well if you find yourself in this catch 22 situation then you need to find a workaround. So let's look at what's required here.

Self-confidence is ultimately about trust. If you trust yourself and your ability to follow-through on things you will have a higher degree of self-confidence and therefore take more actions. It will also affect you less when you screw up.

Well the first unique approach would be to re-frame your history.

One easy way to do that is simply to start writing down all of the successes and good things from our day. It's easy, at the end of the day start creating an "I Did It" list which just collects all of the successes you had. All of the good things you do.

Don't worry about the failures or the areas of improvement, let those die with history. Let yourself focus on the wins. Doing this can help shift the frame you look at things from and can provide just enough trust in yourself to start taking action.

The second really unique way of building trust is to borrow it. Let's look at the financial industry as an example. If you need to borrow money to buy a house or go to school or whatever else. If you don't have a high enough credit score or don't make enough money you can often still get access to the loan by bringing on a co-signer. A co-signer is a way for the lender to increase their confidence that they will get their money back.

If you are stuck in a catch 22 where you don't have enough self-confidence to take action then find yourself a cosigner.

In this case a co-signer would be someone willing to help keep you on track, hold you accountable and, if needed...clean up any messes you make.

So it's a little more than an accountability partner and will require someone you truly trust since you can't trust yourself.

Instagram

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In this episode, we look at the state of flow, what it is, how it works, and how to take advantage of it.

Try Athletic Greens: http://athleticgreens.com/tinyleaps

Part 1: What is Flow

Definition:  An altered state of consciousness in which the mind functions at its peak, time may seem distorted, and a sense of happiness prevails. In such a state the individual feels truly alive and fully attentive to what is being done.

Part 2: What's Going On?

In an article for Psychology Today, Steven Kotler (the same steven kotler) writes:

"during flow, the brain releases an enormous cascade of neurochemistry. Large quantities of norepinephrine, dopamine, endorphins, anandamide, and serotonin flood our system. All are pleasure-inducing, performance-enhancing chemicals with considerable impacts on creativity. Both norepinephrine and dopamine amp up focus,  boosting imaginative possibilities by helping us gather more information..."

Part 3: How to Get Into Flow

Let's look at the requirements for flow.

The first requirement would be a degree of skill in the activity. Flow as a state allows for quicker thinking, faster information process, and a more effortless feel. In order for these things to happen though you first need to be good at the task.

Another requirement is a distraction free environment. Some research has been done on this that states that being able to work distraction free for at least 10-15 minutes is required in order for your mind to get into the space that a flow state could be possible.

Optimize your body and mind. Having internal "distractions" like hunger, being tired, stressed...etc will make it harder to reach a state of flow as well.

Instagram

http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

Resources Used:

https://time.com/56809/the-science-of-peak-human-performance/

https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/flow+state

https://www.stevenkotler.com/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-playing-field/201402/flow-states-and-creativity

https://www.stevenkotler.com/book-pages/the-rise-of-super-man

https://medium.com/personal-growth-lab/how-to-reach-flow-state-using-10-flow-state-triggers-473aa28dc3e5