This week, Nate chats with Nate. Nate is an Out of the Cave group coaching alum, who is affectionately known as half of “Nelly,” as he and his wife, Kelly, went through the 14 week program together. Nate dreamed and planned very seriously to be an astronaut and fly fighter jets as a child, and recounts how that dream falling apart led to fifteen years of yo-yo dieting.

Topics include:

[2:45] Nate recalls his early memories after his parents divorce, living with a single parent as an only childhood, self-esteem issues, being in counseling as a child, spending a lot of time on his own, learning to cook from watching Emeril, and how as a child he was able to eat intuitively and food and eating wasn’t an issue, but recalls early habits would go on to affect his habits around food later– all while feeling the pressure to be the “perfect kid”

[17:00] Nate is accepted into the Air Force Academy, where he is pushed past his limits in their “break you down to build you up” model, and his life was shattered when he found he not be physically able to be a pilot, and for the first time in his life, he was unsure about his future and faces unhappiness, he slowly starts to gain weight

[20:00] Nate joins a traveling theater company, working backstage and also meets Kelly and begins to gain weight rapidly, as he distracts himself with fun and food

[30:00] Nate attempts to “fix” his weight problem by joining a gym, working with a trainer, and following a meal plan, which was the beginning of his yo-yo-ing dieting, along with Kelly, that would last 15 years

[34:00] Nate works with a doctor and drops a tremendous amount of weight, and gets a job as a commercial airline pilot, within three years he gained all the weight back and then some, and he and his wife find the anti-diet movement and gain around 30 more pounds, and they decided as a couple that there had to be something in the middle

[38:00] Kelly and Nate join group coaching together, and he recalls his early mindset and how he came to the awakening that this is a lifelong process

[45:30] Nate discovers embraces his flawed humanness, learns how to identify and cope with feelings, and explains the origins of his fear of conflict and how he’s worked through that, using the tools he developed during group coaching

[1:00:00] Nate talks about the changes and progress he’s made around food and eating, hunger and fullness, and his mind-body connection after graduating group coaching, and what he is still faces and how he plans to address those obstacles in a way that feels safe

[1:10:00] Practicing self-compassion and letting the journey take time and connecting with the inner-child

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