Unapologetically Sensitive

Bonus Episode 49

TITLE

What Happens When We Get Triggered by Multiple Things

GUEST

Solo Episode

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Sometimes it's hard enough to manage getting overwhelmed or triggered, but when there are multiple things are that causing us stress or triggering us, it really can be much harder to manage. I talk about some recent triggers that happened at the same time, and how I managed (very imperfectly, and the negative, fearful, and judgmental thoughts that came up). The use of self-compassion is SO important especially when we are having human experiences.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are deep thinkers and deep feelers. This means we are likely to respond more to things than others do.
• There is nothing wrong with having a strong emotional reaction to something
• We can learn tools to master how we choose to respond (which is different than the reaction that we have)
• When we find ourselves having a strong emotional reaction, it's really important to name what's going on
• This doesn't mean we have to DO anything. The practice of observing what's happening; identifying it, and stating what's going on (naming it), is the first step
• To me, the word reaction is what happens automatically. I don't have control over my initial reaction. It's what happens internally. I don't have to DO anything about my initial reaction
• What I do after I have a reaction is what I call my response. I have time to feel my feels, think about my reaction, and then I choose how I want to respond
• Often we have expectations that we're not even aware of. Then when something unexpected happens, we find ourselves upset, frustrated, disappointed, and we don't understand why we're feeling this way.
• When this happens, it's not uncommon for us to go into self-blame—there's something wrong with me; I shouldn't be feeling this way.
• We also tend to negate our experience because we're having strong feelings
• Often when we're having uncomfortable feelings, the mind wants to make up stories to match our intense feelings, and this often begins what I call circling the drain. This is NOT a helpful place that we go
• We often judge our feelings, and THAT'S what makes us feel badly!
• When we can just allow our feelings to be, and curiously observe them, they are not as strong and powerful.
• When we judge our feelings, we feel worse, and we tend to stay in those uncomfortable feelings longer, and we continue to make up stories in our head to justify the uncomfortable feelings
• We can look with curiosity—what happened? What came up for you? What were your expectations?
• When we don't name our feelings, the feelings can feel bigger than we are—that can be scary and overwhelming
• We are bigger than our feelings
• Feelings are just feelings—they come and go
• We may still be having feelings; that's ok. The goal is NOT to get rid of the feelings. It's to observe them; feel them; name them and honor them
• We CAN tolerate uncomfortable feelings
• We can also predispose that when we engage in certain activities, we may feel disappointed, frustrated, low energy etc. This helps to "prepare" us for feelings that may come up
• I've found it really helpful to "set the bar really low" so that no matter what happens, we experience success
• Many HSPs tend to have really high expectations, so we often feel frustrated and angry with ourselves due to perceived failure, when in fact, we just have really unrealistic expectations
• When you find yourself reacting, you can get really curious and think about how is it you think you're "supposed" to be feeling, or how you want to be feeling
• It's important to allow yourself a LOT of grace for where you're at
• It's temporary; you will feel differently later on. It's just a blip on the radar
• When we fight the feelings/reactions/responses we're having, it causes US more suffering
• It can be messy, uncomfortable and it takes a lot of practice to learn to be with our feelings, but there are so many gifts on the other side of the discomfort
• The more we practice, the more we get mastery over being with our feelings and moving through them

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.

LINKS

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE

Some Ways Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) Tend to Cope; Soothing vs. Nurturing

with Heather Dominic, Founder of A Course In Business Miracles

GUEST

Heather Dominic

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Founder of A Course In Business Miracles, Heather explains coping mechanisms and coping cycles as well as what she refers to as the two shadows, and the work that she does with Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs. We talk about how coping mechanisms tend to be unconscious. When we bring deliberation and intention into the equation, we can embrace our natural rhythms. Heather talks about the difference between soothing versus nurturing, and Tara Brach's RAINS Process.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Heather shares her story of when she discovered she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
• We discuss the importance of learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
• Heather tells us about her Course In Business Miracles and how it connects to her Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur movement
• Your ideal client is a version of you
• What Heather discovered when she gave her clients Elaine Aron's HSP self-test
• Heather discusses the challenges and strengths she notices when working with Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs (HSEs) through her training process
• Heather explains the HSE coping mechanisms and the HSE coping cycle
• We compare the differences between understanding and respecting our natural HSP rhythms and the coping mechanisms of HSEs
• Coping mechanisms tend to be unconscious; Bringing deliberation and consciousness into the equation is what allows us to embrace our natural rhythms
• Heather talks about the difference between soothing versus nurturing - Soothing is more reactive where nurturing is proactive
• Heather discusses Tara Brach's RAINS Process - Recognize, Allow, Inquire, Nurture, Surrender
• Heather shares her insights regarding extroverts and introverts in the HSEs that she works with
• We talk about Susan Cain's depictions of introversion, and how it overlays the traits of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), but does not name the trait
• Many people identify with what has been written about introversion but are unaware that those traits of introversion include the traits of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
• We discuss how we bring more to our clients as we level up in our HSP journey
• The importance of community, especially considering HSPs make up only 20% of the population
• Heather talks about the two HSE shadows - The shadow of perfectionism and the shadow of analysis paralysis
• Heather shares some of the challenges that she faces as an HSP
• We share some lighthearted stories about the growth in our marital relationships with non-HSPs.

BIO

Can you be highly successful in business and highly spiritual at the same time? Let's take this question a step further. Is there a direct relationship between your spirituality and great success?

Heather Dominick is a woman who is impressively successful, and highly spiritual. A former high school drama teacher who collaborated with none other than Bette Midler. A graduate of NYU where she received her first coach training. Heather is the winner of the 2015 Best of Manhattan Coaching Award and creator of the 2014 Stevie Award-winning virtual event A Course In Business Miracles®: 21-Day Discovery Series that attracted close to 6,000 official registrants from all around the world including: Iceland, Nigeria, Russia, Asia, South America, Australia, Europe and the U.S.

She has appeared on Lifetime Television and has been published in numerous books including Stepping Stones to Success alongside Deepak Chopra

An exceptional facilitator and teacher Heather is known for creating a safe, sacred community for true transformation whether she is teaching a Business Miracles® Class, delivering training online or in-person or mentoring members of her Business Miracles Community in her various Mentoring Programs. She has helped thousands of HSE®s release life-long limiting beliefs, overcome fears and learn how to build their business in a way that actually feels so good that they can't help but create solid, sustainable, high-level financial success.

Heather is also the founder and leader of the Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur® movement.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.

LINKS

Website - www.businessmiracles.com

Facebook - www.facebook.com/businessmiracles

Instagram - www.instagram.com/bizmiracles

Pinterest - www.pinterest.com/BizMiracles

Tara Brach Guided Meditation - The RAIN of Self-Compassion: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wm1t5FyK5Ek

Jacquelyn Strickland's article Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person:

www.hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person

Janet Masey Zentangle in San Diego:

www.tikitangles.blogspot.com

Zentangle

www.zentangle.com/pages/about-the-zentangle-method

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of stars
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Rhonda discusses the importance of having practitioners that are knowledgeable about the trait of being Highly Sensitive, and she shares an experience she had with an insensitive doctor and how she handled it.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Rhonda shares about realizing she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) after reading Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Person
• We talk about the analogy of HSPs and orchids--and the limitations of this analogy
• We share our experience with online facebook groups and how we came to meet each other through a facebook group I started for podcasters
• Sometimes, as HSPs, we don't realize the positive impact that we are having on the lives of others simply by showing up
• I share some of the ways that podcasting has been transformational that I did not expect
• Rhonda describes the various triggers that she has recognized as an HSP; how she navigates with this knowledge, and the emotional impact it sometimes has
• We discuss epigenetics and how emotional triggers can have generational echos
• Rhonda recalls early childhood memories of feeling ashamed or outcasted due to her highly sensitive traits
• We share our experiences as HSPs, with prescription medications and how HSPs tend to be more sensitive to medication than non-HSPs
• Rhonda talks about the dichotomy of growing up shy and self-conscious while being a courageous and bold person, starting her own business
• Rhonda explains her ability to somatically feel what is happening with her clients
• Rhonda recounts an interaction she had with an insensitive doctor, how she responded, and the result of their exchange

BIO

Rhonda Hess is an international business coach and founder of Prosperous Coach since 2006. Her clients say she has a superpower for helping coaches choose a smart niche and launch their business with confidence.

In 2001, she designed the certification program for Coach Training Alliance. After training 500 coaches herself she turned her focus to helping coaches with the marketing side because it doesn't matter how great a coach you are if no one knows about you.

After 8 years of award-winning blogging, last year Rhonda started Prosperous Coach Podcast to help more coaches earn more and market less. It's so fun!

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.

LINKS

Website - www.ProsperousCoachBlog.com

Podcast - www.ProsperousCoachBlog.com/topics/Podcast/

Facebook - www.Facebook.com/ProsperousCoach

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of stars
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Maureen talks about the emotional brain and allowing our feelings to just be feelings. We discuss discipline for Highly Sensitive Children (HSCs), and the importance of creating connections with our kids. Maureen shares tips and tools for bringing calmness and grounding to emotionally reactive situations.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Maureen shares her thoughts about the term Highly Sensitive Person
• Maureen discusses the work she does with children in her private practice and how the term HSP can sometimes be used as an excuse (in her estimation)
• She explains her belief that everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum of sensitivity and the benefits as well as downsides to labeling
• I share the freedom that I experienced when I was able to give my emotions a name and know that it's a researched trait, and it's how I'm wired; there's nothing wrong with me.
• Maureen discusses what is an emotionally healthy child
• We talk about The Emotional Brain
• Wholeness is more important than happiness
• We discuss how parents have the opportunity to model how we manage big feelings and how we calm ourselves in order to demonstrate this for our children
• Maureen gives the 3 steps to raising an emotionally healthy child
• The importance of authenticity in your relationship with a Highly Sensitive Child (HSC)
• Maureen answers questions from members of the Unapologetically Sensitive Facebook group (Amber Landsford and Kevin Thibault)
• Maureen talks about the importance of slowing down, getting emotions out, and bringing logic and calming to challenging situations
• The importance of giving your child a safe space to feel their feelings and for them to know that all feelings are acceptable
• Letting kids know that they are bigger than their feelings
• The importance of forgiveness and knowing how to forgive
• Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) have some gifts that non-sensitives do not have, and when we are able to gain mastery over our capacity to react emotionally, we can be powerhouses
• Surround yourself with people who really have the capacity to embrace who you are
• The more we expand on our capacity to feel uncomfortable things, the more that space opens up for more good things like joy and happiness and bliss

BIO

Maureen Healy is the author of The Emotionally Healthy Child and also Growing Happy Kids, which won Nautilus and Readers' Favorite book awards in 2014. A popular Psychology Today blogger and sought-after public speaker, Maureen runs a global mentoring program for elementary-aged children and works with parents and their children in her busy private practice. Her expertise in social and emotional learning has taken her all over the world, including working with Tibetan refugee children at the base of the Himalayas in Northern India to classrooms in Northern California. Visit her online at http://www.growinghappykids.com.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.

LINKS

Website - www.GrowingHappyKids.com

Facebook - www.twitter.com/MDHealy

Instagram - www.instagram.com/MaureenDHealy

Youtube - www.youtube.com/user/GrowingHappy

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of stars
6. click "write a review"

Website-- www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

EPISODE OVERVIEW

I share 2 recent experiences where I had an opportunity to learn how to navigate situations that previously were very difficult, but this time, were easier. I talk about going to Earth Day with my husband and how I used mindfulness to see what works and what is challenging. I also talk about a situation where I previously would get overwhelmed with information, and how I handled it differently. Due to previous experiences of being overwhelmed and overstimulated, we often don't know how to use tools to figure out how to "re-enter" these challenging situations.

HIGHLIGHTS

• My husband and I went to the Earth Day fair together
• How to navigate activities that are important to one partner, but not the other
• Using mindfulness to really notice what parts of a situation work and don't work
• • If I'm in a crowd, it helps if I hold my husband's hand, or loop my finger through his belt loop. He can navigate the crowds, and I just follow and I'm free to look around
• Often Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) don't do well in crowds, and it can be difficult to have to "push through" other people.
• If you go to an event with someone who has different needs, sometimes compromising so both people get their needs met (in this case, my husband chose to not spend as much time looking at the individual booths, and he was ok with this)
• See if you can agree on a specific amount of time to attend the activity. You can take separate vehicles, or you can touch base after a certain amount of time to reevaluate
• If you get overwhelmed, overstimulated or tired, sometimes having a comfortable place to sit and watch people (shady, not too noisy) can be a way to recharge.
• When we don't know we are highly sensitive, we go into these situations and feel overwhelmed without knowing exactly why
• Many HSPs have been so overwhelmed and overstimulated in the past, but didn't know why or didn't know they were HSPs, then we don't want to engage again. We can use mindfulness to figure out what things work, and what things need to be adapted. We are often capable of doing more than we think we can (without violating our boundaries or doing too much)
• When we can talk about our needs and our partner/friend/parent/child's needs, we can work together
• We can also set boundaries around how much information we want to receive, and we can be clear on how we will handle it if our boundaries aren't honored.
• We often are more capable than we think we are, which can be incredibly empowering.
• Being an HSP is really a strength, and when we're willing to use mindfulness and curiosity and to make necessary adjustments, we may be able to do more than we thought we could

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.

LINKS

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

EPISODE OVERVIEW

In order to make this podcast sustainable, I will be making changes moving forward. I talk about why it's been difficult for me to slow down, and how some of my sense of value and worth has been tied up in a rigorous production schedule. I have some fear about losing listeners, and I want to be able to provide great content over the long run. Self-care and setting boundaries are crucial for the well-being of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and I talk about how I plan to improve on both of these.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Sustainability - I want to do this for the long run
• Pushing myself and overriding my need for
• • Rest
  • • I haven't been sleeping through the night for months
  • Balance
  • • I haven't taken a weekend off since launching the podcast
• I'm taking a 4-day vacation with Steve and will probably record an episode or two while we're on vacation
• Self-care--why it's important
• Boundaries--why it's difficult
• The big picture - uncharted territory
• • The podcast was launched 6 months ago
  • Making major shifts in my business
  • Shifting from therapy to coaching
  • Launching groups
  • Splitting my website and creating a new coaching website
  • Listening to listeners and clients
• Learning, growing, failing, pivoting--this is what success looks like
• I share my fear of losing listeners
• We've really picked up momentum with the podcast
• This is a passion project
• Trying to be mindful of Brene Brown's phrase Hustling For My Sense Of Worth when I catch myself allowing my sense of value to be determined by the podcast numbers.
• Thinking long-term with the podcast
• I will be taking a month off from mid-June to mid-July
• • I will be attending a Silent retreat
  • The most popular episodes will play during my month off to give new listeners a chance to hear some great early episodes
• I will be taking a month off in December
• Shifting the format to only releasing episodes on Tuesdays
• • Alternating bonus episodes with interviews
• Recommended podcasts:
• • Woman Worriers with Elizabeth Cush
  • • https://www.progressioncounseling.com/woman-worriers-podcast
  • Hypnotize Me Podcast with Dr. Elizabeth Bonet
  • • http://www.hypnotizemepodcast.com or
    • https://drlizhypnosis.com/hypnotize-me
  • Emotions in Harmony Podcast with Dr. Carmen Roman (bilingual)
  • • https://emotionsinharmony.org

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a Life Coach in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPS providing coaching. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs.

LINKS

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

TITLE

Happiness & Rewiring Your Brain Through Mindfulness & Self-Care

GUEST

Anne-Kathrin Walter

EPISODE OVERVIEW

I talk to Anne-Kathrin Walter, founder of HiSensitives. We talk about what sensitivity looks like in Europe and The Netherlands compared to the United States. Anne talks about happiness and Positive Psychology and we separate this from the act of escaping our negative feelings. We talk about how our brains want to keep us in a comfortable place and how this can potentially lead to being stuck in patterns. We talk about how to use gratitude as a tool for building a positive environment as well as other exercises we can utilize in our daily lives.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Anne-Kathrin shares her experience with the perception of sensitivity in her home country, The Netherlands
• • More people are coming out of their HSP closet as a result of more attention being paid to the topic
• We can often make the mistake of confusing our wounds with traits of being an HSP
• Anne-Kathrin discusses how sensitivity comes with strengths:
• • Creativity
  • Intuitiveness
  • Empathy
• We talk about the importance of dealing with trauma in our lives
• Anne-Kathrin shares the benefits she has experienced through therapy, and her initial struggle with opening up to a stranger
• Anne-Kathrin talks about how discovering she is an HSP has offered perspective on so many aspects of her past
• Anne-Kathrin prefers the term 'Highly Perceptive Person'
• Anne-Kathrin explains the symbol that she created for her business HiSensitives. This symbol was so meaningful to her, that she has a tattoo of the logo she created
• We carefully navigate a discussion surrounding the importance of Positive Thinking and how it can be used as a tool of preparation to face our traumas, not a replacement for addressing traumatic experiences
• Anne-Kathrin shares the personal story of her negative spiral that lead her into what she does today with Positive Psychology
• Anne-Kathrin explains how negative thoughts can become patterns/safe spaces for our brains that become challenging to break away from
• How we can use gratitude to examine what is going well in our lives to rewire our brains away from negative spirals
• Depending on our background, some people need Positive Thinking and some of us need to address and honor uncomfortable feelings
• Anne-Kathrin shares the story of a traumatic fire that changed her life
• Anne-Kathrin explains guided meditation and the process of grounding
• Anne-Kathrin talks about using shower meditation, standing in the shower and visualizing everything that is not of positive use to you, and being cleansed of those thoughts and having them washed down the drain
• We discuss box breathing
• Anne-Kathrin encourages 21 Days of Gratitude - Reach out to 1 person a day to express something you are grateful to them for
• We talk about how writing down your thoughts can be a helpful exercise for letting things go
• We discuss the importance of surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive people
• We talk about Examining your daily habits, and trying to eliminate daily detractors to your mental and physical health
• We talk about Evaluating your daily consumption: diet, entertainment, news, social, etc.
• Anne-Kathrin discusses the challenges she faces as an HSP
• Dr. Elaine Aron suggests that HSPs get 2 hours of quiet time per day
• Anne-Kathrin shares her superpowers that come with being an HSP

Resources

Dr. Kristin Neff:

https://self-compassion.org/

Christopher Germer:

https://chrisgermer.com/

Shawn Achor:

http://www.shawnachor.com/

Meditation Minis Podcast with Chel Hamilton

https://meditationminis.com/

Brene Brown Super Soul Sunday on trust:

http://www.oprah.com/own-supersoulsessions/brene-brown-what-to-do-when-you-struggle-with-trust

BIO

Anne-Kathrin Walter is a young, highly sensitive entrepreneur from the Netherlands. In 2018, she founded the brand HiSensitives, which is a brand for highly sensitive people that aims to increase awareness and acceptance of the trait and to connect highly sensitive people worldwide. By diving into the world of positive thinking and changing her own thought patterns, Anne-Kathrin managed to transform her life and to dare to chase her

dreams. Through the right relationships, a change of direction when it comes to her career and daily self-care she managed to create a HSP-friendly life for herself.

.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a coach & therapist in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California, and she provides coaching to people all over the world. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy or coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out.

LINKS

Anne-Kathrin Walter:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/i.am.anne.kathrn/

HiSensitives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hisensitives/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hisensitives/

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/Hisensitives/

Website: https://hisensitives.com/

E-Mail: [email protected]

Dr. Elaine Aron's website— https://hsperson.com/

HSP Self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

HSP Child self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com

Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Jen and I talk about perfectionism, boundaries, self-care, HS superpowers, communication, vulnerability, authenticity, demystifying emotions, creating a lifestyle that honors the HSP, and mindfulness. These are some of the things that we notice Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) struggling with. Our primary intention is to give you an idea of what to expect in our upcoming online groups. Whether you are considering taking a group or not, this episode is a great way to identify your HS strengths and maybe see if there are areas you want to focus on.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Jen explains why working with HSPs is a passion of hers
• We share our excitement about the groups and why we feel they are important
• I share the story of my first meeting with Jen
• Jen shares her initial impression upon our first meeting and the benefit that comes with creating a safe space to openly share our needs
• We discuss our goal of making the groups a safe space where productive communication can happen, and we create community
• Setting boundaries in relationships is not about changing the other person; it's creating a space for yourself by communicating your needs
• We discuss the plan for our upcoming groups to give you an idea of what to expect:

• Group culture / Expectations
• • Creating community guidelines
  • Creating and maintaining a safe environment
  • Everyone is seen and heard
  • Everyone is treated respectfully
  • Everyone's goals for the group
  • Getting to know each other
  • Basic education about the trait
  • • Questions and discussion
    • Building pride in HSP
    • Applying the pride
  • Recognizing this is a non-HSP world, and we get to assert our HSP traits/needs
• Identifying negative messages and turning them into superpowers
• • Things we struggle with
  • • Too sensitive
    • Too needy
    • Need to get thicker skin
    • Not social
    • No fun, can't take a joke, no sense of humor
    • Too picky
    • Overthink things
    • Worry too much
    • Too nice
    • Over responsible for everything
    • Feeling fatally flawed, not good enough
    • Mistfit--I'm the only one; There's no one like me
    • Deep sense of not belonging and shame
  • Outcomes
  • • Embracing our traits
    • Identify and verbalize what traits resonate for us
    • Feeling confident in what our needs are
    • Naming our strengths
    • Seeing comments as being about the other person
    • Identifying when we get triggered, and having tools to manage
    • Proper care and feeding of the HSP
    • Skillfulness around boundaries
    • Finding ways to live peacefully with non-HPSs and honor everyone's needs
• Self-care is non-negotiable!
• • Things we struggle with
  • • People pleasing
    • Putting others needs ahead of our own
    • Feeling guilty when we take care of ourselves
    • Feeling resentful when we meet other's needs and not our own
    • Feeling drained
    • Feeling depleted
    • Feeling unappreciated
    • Feeling overwhelmed
    • Feeling irritable, negative, easily annoyed, less patient, more critical of self and others, intolerant
  • Outcomes
  • • Becoming comfortable with self-centering
    • It's ok to be the center of your universe
    • You can't pour from an empty cup
    • Self-care is an imperative--which is ultimately a selfless act
    • When we take care of ourselves, everyone benefits in the long run (not always immediately, but the overall benefit is for everyone)
    • Listening to what we need and want
    • Trusting what we need and want
    • Wanting to take care of ourselves
    • Knowing that when we take care of ourselves, we have more to offer others
    • Feeling out of balance (or at least aware) when we are ignoring our own needs
    • Having richer deeper relationships because we are fulfilled and coming from a place where we have more to offer
• Boundaries are an imperative part of self-care
• • Things we struggle with
  • • Feeling uncomfortable with conflict
    • Feeling guilty--picking up on other's feelings that we might disappoint others (or they will get angry or frustrated)
    • • The guilt is not necessary (we haven't done anything wrong--we're supposed to set boundaries--it's healthy, and boundaries are a natural and necessary part of any healthy relationship)
      • Guilt is the best word we have in the English language, but it's not really an accurate description
    • Feeling not seen, not heard or not honored
    • Not expressing our wants and needs
    • Feeling resentful
    • Feeling powerless
    • Feeling taken advantage of
    • Feeling like everyone else gets their needs met or what they want
  • Outcomes
  • • Trusting our feelings
    • Boundaries will directly reduce our overwhelm
    • • Learning how to set boundaries without emotion
      • Boundaries make you a happy human; When we have an emotional flare, it's because a boundary has most likely been violated (or a need has not been met)
      • Learning how to compassionately, but kindly state what is and is not acceptable
    • Seeing boundaries as creating safety for ourselves and others
    • Seeing the benefits of setting limits
    • Owning our power and KNOWING that our wants and needs are perfectly acceptable and reasonable
    • Developing flexibility--not about the rule, but about the relationship and the context
• Perfectionism
• • Things we struggle with
  • • Feeling not good enough
    • Comparing
    • Feeling inadequate
    • Not starting things, paralysis
    • Not pursuing dreams
    • Overworking/overdoing trying to get a sense of "enoughness"
    • Constant unease
    • Critical of self and others
    • Perfectionism is a myth
    • Imposter syndrome--if people really saw who I am, they would leave
    • Brene Brown says Whenever you have perfectionism driving, shame is riding shotgun
    • • Hustling for your sense of worth
      • "Doing" for a sense of value instead of knowing we have value because we live and breathe
  • Outcomes
  • • Knowing done is better than perfect
    • Busting shame
    • Brene Brown--Our vulnerability is what actually connects us
    • • Sense of belonging and connection comes from allowing ourselves to be seen imperfectly
      • That's where connection begins
      • Living from our values--regardless of whether goals are met or not. It can be about the process and not the outcome
    • More self-acceptance
    • More ease in relationships because the standards are more realistic
    • Learning how to set goals that are achievable
    • More contentment
    • More satisfaction
    • Actually accomplishing more due to acceptance
• Communication, vulnerability, authenticity
• • Things we struggle with
  • • Afraid to say what you're thinking
    • Not trusting what you're thinking
    • Fear of judgment, criticism, being ridiculed
    • Feeling like your point of view is wrong or not popular
    • Afraid to really show up in relationships and allow yourself to be fully seen
    • Being afraid to upset someone
    • Being afraid to stir up problems in the relationship
    • Not trusting that ruptures are repairable, and this actually points at growth
    • • We grow in relationships after a rupture
      • Ruptures are a natural part of attachment--it doesn't mean that there isn't attachment
    • Outcomes
    • • Educate others about the trait
      • Why we need the lights low,
      • Less stimulation
      • Quiet areas
    • Model healthy communication, authenticity, vulnerabilty
    • More depth, closeness and trust in relationships
    • Marshall Rosenberg's non-violent communication
    • • All behavior is an attempt to get a need met
      • Feelings and needs are never in conflict
      • Strategies to get them met can be in conflict, and that requires creative problem-solving
    • Life is figure out-able
• Creating a lifestyle that is HSP friendly and honors our HSP needs
• • Things we struggle with
  • • Overwhelm
    • Fatigue
    • Resentment
    • Feeling drained
    • Overworking
    • Living in a non-HSP world and trying to live like a non-HSP
  • Outcomes
  • • Proper Care and Feeding of HSPs
    • • Getting enough rest, down time, quiet time
      • Exercise
      • Spirituality
      • Just enough socializing
      • Feeling a deeper sense of connection
      • More meaning in your life
      • Social justice work HSP style ~ having activist mentors
      • Connecting with nature
      • Learning how to do non-HSP events in manageable chunks
• Mindfulness
• • Things we struggle with
  • • Overwhelmed and scattered
    • Urge to numb out (TV, social media, Netflix)
  • Outcomes
  • • Basic meditation instruction
    • • Formal and informal practices, moving meditation, guided meditation
    • Learning how to curiously observe what comes up and to use it as information instead of reacting to things
    • Self-acceptance
    • More self-compassion and compassion for others
    • Being more emotionally responsive vs emotionally reactive (Pause button)
    • Meeting life on its terms instead of arm wrestling with it
• Demystifying emotions
• • Things we struggle with
  • • My emotions overwhelm me
    • I can't control my emotions
    • I'm emotionally reactive
    • I'm embarrassed by my emotions
    • Affect-phobia
    • I don't want to feel my emotions, they won't go away
    • My feelings will hurt me / others
  • Outcomes
  • • Basic education about emotion theory
    • Emotions can't hurt us
    • Emotions are to be honored and felt
    • Emotions are impermanent
    • Emotions are not something we can control
    • Creating safety to feel our emotions
    • Emotions can inform our actions/behavior but do not need to drive our behavior
    • Mindfulness
    • Feelings come and go - just energy moving through us
    • Deep sense of connection when we get comfortable having our feelings

BIO

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping highly sensitive people thrive in love, work, and parenting highly sensitive children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. She can be reached at [email protected] or 215-292-5056. Learn more

at heartfulnessconsulting.com or facebook.com/Heartfulnessconsulting.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young is a coach & therapist in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California, and she provides coaching to people all over the world. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy or coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out. Patricia also facilitates online specialty groups for HSPs. For more information, go to https://patriciayounglcsw.com/hsp-online-groups/

LINKS

www.heartfulnessconsulting.com

Facebook:

www.facebook.com/HeartfulnessConsulting

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com

Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

TITLE

My Husband and I Talk About How We Met and Some of the Challenges We Have in Our Marriage

GUEST

Steve Young

EPISODE OVERVIEW

My husband, Steve Young, and I have a candid discussion about our origin story, detailing our lives before we met; first impressions upon meeting each other, and the challenges we experience as a couple, who have been married for more than 21 years. We talk about our differences being an HSP and non-HSP, and how we navigate those areas.

HIGHLIGHTS

• We discuss how we met, and our first perceptions of each other
• Living as an HSP with a non-HSP
• We share different examples of how we are wired differently, and how differences in our family upbringing may have contributed to our wiring
• The traits that we love about our partners can also be the traits that just drive us crazy sometimes
• We discuss the ways that we navigate those moments of frustration or tension
• We share specific examples, from both perspectives, of when the differences in our personalities create challenging situations
• Communication is key - Discussing and naming our feelings and fears
• Steve shares his thoughts about learning I was a Highly Sensitive Person--we look back on our relationship after learning this
• We talk about how being able to name the challenges we experience has helped with acceptance in our daily lives
• We discuss the importance of recognizing and honoring each other's differences

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young, LCSW is a coach & therapist in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California, and she provides coaching to people all over the world. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy or coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out.

LINKS

Dr. Elaine Aron's website— https://hsperson.com/

HSP Self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

HSP Child self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com

Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures

TITLE

Overwhelm & Perfectionism - I'm in the Middle of the Struggle

GUEST

Solo episode Patricia Young

EPISODE OVERVIEW

I've been struggling with overwhelm, perfectionism and feeling not good enough. I feel vulnerable sharing when I'm in the middle of the struggle, but the way to break shame is to name it. When we are growing and doing new things, our gremlins will come up. I talk about and name what my gremlins are saying, and I talk about the things I do when I'm struggling in spite of the desire to sit on the couch and numb out.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young, LCSW is a coach & therapist in California. Patricia works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California, and she provides coaching to people all over the world. We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy or coaching from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can't face sitting in traffic or going out.

LINKS

To write a review in itunes:

1. click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2
2. select "view in itunes"
3. chose "open in itunes"
4. choose "ratings and reviews"
5. click to rate the number of starts
6. click "write a review"

Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com

Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/

Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/

Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

e-mail-- [email protected]

Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Editor -- David Petlansky of Pitseleh Pictures - www.facebook.com/PitselehPictures