Have you ever left a conversation thinking, “They didn’t hear me at all”?

Journalist and author Mónica Guzmán shares stories from her own life, from not fully listening to her daughter, to navigating emotional disagreements with her mom, to setting intentional conversations with people who see the world differently.

She unpacks what’s really going on in our heads when we stop listening and how small shifts can completely change the way we connect, especially with our loved ones.

ABOUT GUEST

Mónica Guzmán is the author of “I Never Thought of It That Way,” an advisor with Braver Angels, and the founder of Reclaim Curiosity (https://linktr.ee/moniguzman).

Check Mónica out on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/moniguzman/

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(1:31) Mónica’s Call with Mom

(3:35) What She Needed from Mom

(4:47) Acknowledge Good Points

(5:37) Three Conversations at Once

(7:03) Spanish at Home Lesson

(9:24) Critical Listening Trap

(10:34) Repairing Missed Moments

(12:36) Scheduling Disagreement Talks

(15:15) Wrap Up and Resources

What would you do if you planned an event and nobody showed up?

Michael Wilker knows exactly how that feels. One night, after years of organizing a monthly meetup, he sat alone at a bar waiting for people that never came. It was awkward, humbling, and it almost made him quit.

But he didn’t.

Instead, Michael kept showing up, and, over time, that simple decision helped grow a small gathering of six dads into a thriving community of more than 400 men in his neighborhood.

ABOUT GUEST

Michael Wilker is one of the co-founders of Del Ray Dads, a grassroots community of 400+ men in Alexandria, Virginia.

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(0:48) Nobody Showed Up

(3:37) How Del Ray Dads Began

(4:50) The Listserv

(6:40) Support in Grief

(8:54) Bollywood Dance Rehearsals

(12:15) Rules That Prevent Drama

(13:37) Why It Lasts

(15:05) Conclusion

What if the people who seem the most “put together” are actually struggling the most?

Clinical psychologist Dr. Margaret Rutherford unpacks something she calls “Perfectly Hidden Depression” — the kind of struggle that hides behind achievement, perfectionism, and a life that looks flawless from the outside.

Dr. Rutherford shares how perfectionism can become emotional armor protecting us from pain, but also disconnecting us from real feelings, real relationships, and even ourselves.

ABOUT GUEST

Dr. Margaret Rutherford is a clinical psychologist, TEDx speaker, and author of several books. Her latest is “The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook” (https://drmargaretrutherford.com/).

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(0:49) Therapist Tells Her Truth

(3:31) Fear of Being Judged

(5:43) What is Perfectly Hidden Depression

(7:21) Perfectionism as Armor

(10:45) Emotional Range Shrinks

(12:33) First Steps Toward Change

(15:09) Transparency Over Vulnerability

(16:52) Julie Reflection and Conclusion

When someone calls 911, they’re not just asking for help, they’re handing over everything.

Author and former paramedic Kevin Hazzard takes us inside his very first cardiac arrest call: a Thanksgiving dinner, a grandmother collapsing at the head of the table, and a room full of people waiting for a miracle that might not come.

But the moment that stayed with him isn’t what you’d expect.

ABOUT GUEST

Kevin Hazzard is an author, journalist, TV and film writer, and former paramedic. His memoir is called “A Thousand Naked Strangers.” His new book is “No One’s Coming: The Rogue Heroes Our Government Turns to When There’s Nowhere Else to Turn” (https://a.co/d/0eVCVDLA)

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(1:00) Meet Kevin Hazzard

(1:25) Thanksgiving Cardiac Arrest

(4:29) Aftermath and Family Grace

(5:48) Medicine on Display

(7:30) Why the Job Hooks You

(9:47) Tourist to True Believer

(12:03) Mortality and Presence

(13:09) Burnout and Wake Up Call

(16:09) What Heroism Really Means

(18:37) The New Book

(20:00) Conclusion

What if the goal of disagreement isn’t to win but to build a bridge to the next conversation?

Harvard Kennedy School professor Julia Minson studies one thing: how to disagree better. In this episode of Uncomfy, she shares why most of us confuse disagreement with conflict and how that mistake quietly damages our closest relationships.

From ballroom dancing arguments with her husband to a life-and-death disagreement with her mother’s oncologist, Julia explains the powerful difference between being receptive and being persuaded.

“You don’t have to give in to make someone feel profoundly heard.”

ABOUT GUEST

Julia Minson is a professor of public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government and author of the new book, “How to Disagree Better” (https://www.juliaminson.com/)

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(0:56) Meet Julia Minson

(1:30) Kitchen Dance Disagreement

(4:12) Disagreement vs Conflict

(6:07) Studying Disagreement

(7:18) Receptive Not Persuaded

(8:43) Mom’s Doctor Story

(13:01) Listen With Your Mouth

(15:08) HEAR Framework Breakdown

(19:12) Authenticity and Practice

(21:03) Conclusion

What do you do when you hear your child’s teacher maybe treating them unfairly — and you hate confrontation?

Caitlin Kindred shares the phone call that left her shaking… and forced her into “mama bear” mode. What started as an uncomfortable school conflict led to something unexpected: her son’s ADHD diagnosis — and ultimately her own diagnosis at age 38.

ABOUT GUEST

Caitlin Kindred is a mom, former middle school teacher, and co-host of the podcast “How to Be a Grownup: A Humorous Guide for Moms” (https://www.ckandgkpodcast.com/)

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(0:46) A Call from A Concerned Parent

(3:09) Avoiding Confrontation

(4:18) Email and Meeting Plan

(5:32) ADHD Discovery

(7:40) Late Diagnosis Validation

(9:49) ADHD Traits and Time

(11:30) Parenting With ADHD

(13:15) News Stress and Boundaries

(16:22) Conclusion

What if one big question could change your life?

Kalina Silverman became known around the world for walking up to strangers and skipping the small talk. Instead of “How’s the weather?” she asks questions like:

- What are you proud of?

- What’s been the darkest time of your life—and how did you get through it?

- What do you want to do before you die?

She calls it Big Talk, and she thinks everyone should be doing it.

ABOUT GUEST

Kalina Silverman is the creator of Big Talk (@makebigtalk on Instagram and Tik Tok) and author of the new book, “Big Talk: How to Skip the Small Talk, Make Meaningful Connections, and Enrich Your Life” (https://www.kalinasilverman.com/)

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(0:41) Meet Kalina Silverman

(1:39) The First Big Talk Experiment

(2:59) The Simple Intro That Works

(4:35) The Magic of Talking to Strangers

(6:16) Big Talk 101

(7:31) Big Talk Conversations After Disasters

(9:42) Listening Without Fixing

(10:20) Who the Book Is For

(11:39) Personal Impact

(12:57) Conclusion

What happens when someone you love doesn’t react the way you do to something that feels viscerally wrong?

After the fatal shooting of Renee Good by an ICE agent in Minneapolis, Anne Marie Denman texted her mom, and what followed was a conversation that could have deepened a painful divide. Instead, it deepened their connection.

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(0:42) Meet Anne Marie Denman

(2:05) Mom Checks In—And the Reply That Stung

(4:34) Catching Dysregulation & Choosing a New Response

(5:32) Naming the Real Issue

(8:03) The Risk of Uncomfy Conversations

(8:59) Her Mom’s Response (and Why It Was Enough)

(10:07) A Troubled History and What the Email Changed

(13:18) How Their Family Stays Connected Through Deep Differences

(15:52) Why Anne Marie Shares Her Story

(18:27) Conclusion

What if the problem isn’t disagreement — it’s how we ask the question?

Shira Hoffer was a freshman at Harvard when she asked what she thought was a simple, honest question and got completely shut down. That moment launched her into studying and helping others with something all of us are wrestling with right now: how to stay curious when conversations get tense.

ABOUT GUEST

Shira Hoffer is the Executive Director of The Viewpoints Project (https://viewpointsproject.org).

Episode transcript - https://uncomfypodcastbyu.blogspot.com/2026/02/why-asking-questions-feels-so-risky.html

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(1:04) Meet Shira Hoffer

(1:25) Shira's Classroom Experience

(5:19) The Viewpoints Project

(6:27) The Science of Curiosity

(9:49) Navigating Difficult Conversations

(14:12) A Disagreement Gone Wrong

(19:26) Conclusion

What happens when three people with completely different identities and perspectives speak up in the same room, each saying they don’t feel safe?

In this episode, Raj Vinnakota shares a powerful moment from a university auditorium where tension was thick, fear was real, and the stakes couldn’t have been higher. He unpacks what it actually takes to create spaces on campus (and in everyday life) where people with deeply different views can stay present, curious, and human.

We’re all in the same boat. The question is: how do we stay in it together?

ABOUT GUEST

Raj Vinnakota is the president of the Institute for Citizens and Scholars (https://citizensandscholars.org/).

Episode transcript - https://uncomfypodcastbyu.blogspot.com/2026/02/free-speech-fear-and-fixing.html

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(1:12) Meet Raj Vinnakota

(2:20) The Conservative Student's Question

(4:28) The Pro-Choice Lesbian's Perspective

(7:04) Safety and Engagement on Campus

(9:19) Creating a Culture of Productive Conversations

(11:46) Personal Practices for Better Conversations

(13:52) Raj's Personal Experience with Disagreement

(15:58) Conclusion