Hélène Biandudi Hofer shares a story about navigating an awkward meeting where a client tried to sideline her in favor of her business partner, Amanda Ripley. She teaches us how storytelling, staying curious, and asking the right questions can help us turn conflict into a good thing.

From a young age, Hofer learned the value of storytelling from her great-grandmother and father. In 2018, after a successful career in broadcast journalism, she took a leap and partnered with Ripley to create Good Conflict, which helps people and organizations embrace conflict as a tool for growth.

Hélène Biandudi Hofer is a conflict navigator, storyteller, and co-founder of Good Conflict.

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links

Good Conflict website - https://www.thegoodconflict.com/

Good Conflict Master Class - https://www.thegoodconflict.com/master-class

Good Conflict Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thegoodconflict/

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Constance Scharff takes us on a ride from food tours in Turkey to overcoming a personal battle with trauma and addiction. She opens up about the uncomfortable journey that led to discovering the transformative power of somatic therapy and how it helped heal her deep emotional wounds. So, whether it’s feeling out of place while traveling or tackling deep-seated issues, this chat is all about embracing discomfort to grow and heal.

Constance Scharff, dubbed the Indiana Jones of mental health research, travels the world learning from indigenous communities and recently spent a year visiting seven countries for her book on everyday bravery. She is also an author and the director of the Human Resilience Project.

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links

Constance Scharff’s website - https://www.constancescharff.com/

More on the Human Resilience Project - https://youtu.be/p0WbgrPErvo?feature=shared

More info on somatic therapy - https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-somatic-therapy-202307072951

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In this special bonus drop, four of our 2024 Uncomfy guests give some advice on how to stick with the discomfort that can come around the holidays. From potentially uncomfortable encounters with relatives to dealing with mental health struggles, we hope this advice helps you to get Uncomfy during this festive season.

Featured Guests: Vanessa Otero (Ad Fontes Media), Erik DaRosa (From Survivor to Thriver), David French (The New York Times), and Rich Harwood (The Harwood Institute)

Related Links:

Vanessa Otero’s Uncomfy episode – https://youtu.be/ms7b-aDHMjk

Erik DaRosa’s Uncomfy episode – https://youtu.be/aBTyU2UZeU0

David French’s Uncomfy episode – https://youtu.be/wD7V1_-0w2w

Rich Harwood’s Uncomfy episode – https://youtu.be/jCpJ1e2Uwj4

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Ali Muldrow and Bria Halama have nearly opposite views on abortion. But they signed up to sit with 12 other strangers looking for common ground. The four-day workshop was organized by Citizen Solutions in Wisconsin and resulted in five policy recommendations the whole group could agree on. It also turned Ali and Bria into friends. They found that listening, being vulnerable, and recognizing others’ humanity were transformative in these polarized discussions.

Ali Muldrow is the executive director of the abortion access nonprofit WMF Wisconsin. Bria Halama is a Catholic mental health counselor. Builders is a nonprofit equipping citizens globally to overcome toxic polarization to solve our toughest problems together. Citizen Solutions is a program of Builders that empowers ideologically diverse Americans to co-create state-level solutions to politicized issues suffering from hyper-partisan gridlock.

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links:

Citizen Solutions website – https://www.citizensolutions.us

Builders website - https://buildersmovement.org/

More on the Abortion & Family Well-Being solutions session - https://citizensolutions.us/citizensolutions/wi/issue/5

Top of Mind episode on the Abortion Talks - https://www.byuradio.org/top-of-mind-how-to-talk-about-abortion

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When Becca Obeng was involved in a car accident on a busy Florida freeway, she chose empathy over defensiveness. In response, the other driver opened up in a completely unexpected way, transforming a tense encounter into a moment of connection and an unlikely friendship.

Becca Obeng is the creator of Becoming Undaunted, a 100-day challenge where she takes on one uncomfortable task each day to build confidence and embrace growth.

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links:

Becoming Undaunted Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/becomingundaunted/

Becoming Undaunted website - https://www.becomingundaunted.com/

Becoming Undaunted Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/becomingundaunted

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While going to pick up some food in a “Everyone Watches Women’s Sports” t-shirt, Vanessa Otero was approached by a stranger with a loaded question about “men in women’s sports.” The following exchange could have easily turned hostile or dismissive, but Otero chose a different path. Drawing on her experience in discussing polarizing issues, she asked clarifying questions and introduced new ideas to the conversation, hoping to build better understanding.

Vanessa Otero is CEO and founder of Ad Fontes Media, known for its Media Bias Chart, which rates news outlets for bias and reliability.

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links:

Ad Fontes Media Website - https://adfontesmedia.com/

The Media Bias Chart - https://adfontesmedia.com/static-mbc/

Vanessa Otero’s LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessaotero/

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High school freshman, Malu Estevam, is used to doing well - very well - in school. So, when she struggled in her advanced math class, she panicked. As a first-generation immigrant, she hoped to make her parents proud and make their sacrifices worth it. But one friend’s determination and example ultimately helped her to see that intelligence and success aren’t just about grades.

We’d love to hear about an Uncomfy moment you’ve experienced. Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links:

Top of Mind episode on teen mental health - https://www.byuradio.org/top-of-mind-teen-mental-health-in-america-is-getting-worse-what-can-we-do

Top of Mind episode on how we decide who gets into college - https://www.byuradio.org/top-of-mind-the-changing-way-we-decide-who-gets-into-college-and-why-it-matters

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As a columnist for the New York Times, David French is used to public criticism. And he's used to sometimes getting things wrong, too. “At 55, I want to be a better person than I was when I was 35 or 25 or 15. So, if we're actually growing as human beings, we should be able to point back to multiple things that we concretely got wrong.” French shares the story of changing his mind on a hot button issue and telling the world about it in an article titled, “Why I Changed the Way I Write about Police Shootings.” He also offers insights on how to navigate the shame and embarrassment that can come when you have to admit you’re wrong.

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links:

David French’s New York Times profile - https://www.nytimes.com/by/david-french

David French’s book, Divided We Fall: America's Secession Threat and How to Restore Our Nation - https://www.amazon.com/Divided-We-Fall-Americas-Secession/dp/1250201977

David French’s September 2024 speech he gave at BYU - https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/david-french/why-america-went-crazy-and-how-you-can-stay-sane/

David French’s article on why he changed the way he writes about police shootings - https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/09/police-shootings-david-french-changed-writing/

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Tracy Saad spent her whole life avoiding politics, until the 2019 Lebanese revolution made her have a change of heart. She joined a nonprofit effort to educate and register voters where she faced the discomfort of realizing she had a lot of learning about politics to make up for and had to get comfortable saying, "Can you simplify that for me, please?"

Fueled by this experience, Saad, a lifelong expat and CEO of Commence Games, created Commence Games, which designs card games for political engagement that are fun for all ages and perspectives.

We’d love to hear about an Uncomfy moment you’ve experienced. Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast and we’ll share it!      

Related Links:

Commence Games Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/commence.games/

Commence Games Website - https://www.commence.games/

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After a series of mistakes on the field led to an embarrassing loss for the middle school boys’ soccer team he coaches, Shawn Tucker found himself wrestling with feelings of shame, self-blame, and the temptation to deflect his discomfort onto others. Rather than giving in to anger or excuses, Shawn chose to sit with his feelings of embarrassment, using the moment to learn and reassess his priorities.

Shawn Tucker is a professor of Humanities at Elon University and author of several books, including Humility: An Approach. He listened to Uncomfy and reached out to us to share his story—and you can, too!

Can you think of a time when you felt your perspective or worldview challenged and instead of getting defensive or bailing out, you chose to lean into the discomfort and stick with it – and you’re glad you did? Email your story to [email protected] or share it on Instagram and tag us @uncomfy.podcast, and we’ll share it!

Related Links:

Shawn Tucker’s book, Humility: A Practical Approach - https://www.amazon.com/Humility-Practical-Approach-Shawn-Tucker/dp/1948218453

Shawn Tucker Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/shawnlocotucker/

Top of Mind episode on Humor - https://www.byuradio.org/top-of-mind-funny-or-offensive-why-its-so-hard-to-draw-the-line-in-humor

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