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If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.

I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.

This episode is not about “how to argue better.”
It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.

You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…
why others shut down to survive the moment…
and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.

We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.

And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.

You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.
It is about state.

Get their new book on Amazon here.

Follow Rachel on Instagram

Follow Dr. Jessie on Instagram

Read our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments here

Support the show

Do you find yourself reacting in ways you wish you could change when your child is upset? Learn how to stay calm, manage your emotions, and respond in a way that actually helps your child.

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Or purchase our course, join the next 8 week group cohort in April 2026 below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/