Raising Elite Competitors

Unleashing the Beast in Shy or Timid Athletes


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In working with thousands of female athletes, I’ve been able to see a wide range of personalities and behaviors on and off the court/field. 

One that tends to baffle coaches and parents alike?

Athletes that are shy, timid, or hold back during competition. 

Sometimes accused of being “too nice,” these athletes have a tendency to back down when the competition gets fierce. They pull it back instead of going for it. They let others take the lead and set the tone for the competition. 

As a parent and a coach, it’s probably hard not to just tell your athlete things like “be aggressive!” or “Go for it!!” and hope for the best. 

Sound familiar? If your athlete tends to be more on the shy side or holds back in competition, there are a few reasons why that might be. 

Learn what they are in today's episode, as well as my go-to strategy she can use to unleash her inner beast on the court/field! 

First...Why is she holding back?

In my experience, there are a handful of reasons why female athletes tend to back down or become more timid in competition. Usually it's because of...

1. Her physical characteristics (or perceived limitations)

Too short. 
Too tall. 
Too slow. 
Too young. 
Too big. 
Not big enough. 
Not enough experience.

The list goes on...

Athletes can be quick to decide that their physical characteristics or experience don’t set themselves up for whatever sport/activity they are competing in. 

I'll talk about how can athletes still show up and play all-out even if they might be undersized or slower than their competition.

2. Her personality

Some player’s personalities are naturally a bit more reserved, shy, and introverted. Maybe they prefer others to take the lead and don’t mind taking a more supportive role. Maybe they feel like others will think they are “mean” or “rude” if they are more aggressive. 

There is nothing wrong with being more reserved and introverted! (It’s important that athletes know this). 

3. Fear

Lastly, some players hold back and are timid during competition because of fear. 

Fear of making a mistake. 
Fear of disappointing teammates. 
Fear of what the coach might think. 
Fear of the spotlight and being better than others. 

These fears can take over and cause athletes to fly below the radar in hopes they don’t mess up or get noticed. 

Enter: The Alter Ego Technique

One strategy that applies to all the situations above is called the Alter Ego Technique. Athletes can implement this strategy to help them separate who they are on the court/field from who they are off. Listen in as I describe how your daughter can use this strategy today!

There you have it! Three reasons why athletes may be more shy/timid on the court/field and my favorite strategy to help them unleash their inner beast on the court/field. 

Helpful Links:

  • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
  • Download the free resources we've created for you
  •  Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

Help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes by leaving a rating and review. It's THE BEST way to help our podcast be seen and heard! Thank you!

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Raising Elite CompetitorsBy Coach Bre

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