Untethering Shame

★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

"I finally started putting myself first. Boundaries, saying no, protecting my time. And instead of feeling better, I feel worse. My relationships are tense. People are pulling away or frustrated. Now I'm wondering if this whole taking care of myself thing is just selfish. How do I deal with the fallout of finally choosing myself?"

We look at the concept of "Unspoken Contracts" and why setting healthy boundaries often leads to friction rather than immediate relief. This conversation examines how systems push back when you change your role and why choosing yourself is not the same as being selfish.

Inside This Episode

• Disrupted Systems: Why things getting harder does not mean you are doing something wrong.
• Unspoken Contracts: The invisible agreements in your relationships and what happens when you stop honoring them.
• The Shame Spiral: How shame disguises itself as conscience to make you feel bad for growing.
• Navigating the Fallout: The three typical responses to change (resistance, negotiation, and exit) and how to tolerate the discomfort of holding your ground.

If you have ever felt guilty for setting a boundary or worried that taking care of yourself is ruining your relationships, this episode will help you renegotiate your connections with radical responsibility.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name; whatever feels safest for you.
👉 Submit Here: https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

💬 If this

Listen in on another vulnerable conversation between Bronwyn and Kyira, both therapists, as they share their own challenges and insights on engaging with their parents. This conversation broaches the conflict many feel as we see how our unhealed wounds of childhood affect us today. Which begs the question: how do we have a relationship with that parent? What do we do with all our resentment so it doesn't spill out on our own children? How do we have empathy for our parent while still having boundaries for ourselves? How do we give grace while also holding accountability? When do we decide to cut off a parent?

Bronwyn leads Kyira in an Integration exercise with her young self in order to accept her mom as she is, not as Kyira wants her to be. Bronwyn also leads Kyira in a Grief exercise to say goodbye to the mom she had in her early childhood, which helps Kyira accept the mom she interacts with now.

Episode Chapters:

00:00:00 Introduction & Welcoming Bronwyn
00:01:00 Bronwyn's Background & Path to Therapy
00:05:00 The Physical Cost of Suppressing Anger
00:07:30 Understanding Triggers & Emotional Repression
00:22:10 The Integration Exercise: Healing the Inner Child
00:33:36 Live Integration Exercise with Kyira
00:48:43 Daily Rituals for Emotional Regulation
00:56:46 Why Flourishing is Never Selfish

About the Guest:
Bronwyn is a licensed marriage and family therapist, podcaster, and self-described "anger expert". As the host of the Angry at the Right Things podcast, she helps people understand the profound connection between suppressed emotions, physical illness, and mental health challenges. Drawing from her own lived experience navigating severe, debilitating depressive episodes, Bronwyn transitioned into counseling as a second career to offer the kind of deep, root-cause healing she once sought. She holds a master's degree in counseling psychology and another master's degree in nutrition.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/

Get Connected.

• Subscribe to my YouTube channel
• Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list
• Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c

Take the Next Step.

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. https://www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call
• Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
"I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do. I sleep, I take breaks, I even started saying no to things. But I still wake up exhausted and drag myself through every day. I feel like I’ve tried all the things and none of them are working. Is something actually wrong with me, or am I just bad at resting?"

We explore the concept of the "Invisible Load" and why chronic exhaustion often remains even after we add rest to our schedules. This conversation shifts the focus from managing your time to relating to your energy.

Inside This Episode

• Rest as a Ratio: Why adding more routines cannot restore what is being continuously drained.
• The Invisible Load: The high cost of monitoring emotional temperatures, performing competence, and rehearsing conversations.
• Energy Audits vs. Productivity Audits: Shifting the question from "how do I get more energy" to "where is my energy actually going?".
• The Armor of Patterns: How making yourself smaller to keep the peace creates a heavy, draining weight you might have forgotten you are wearing.

If you have ever felt like you are doing everything "right" but still feel completely depleted, this episode will help you identify the leaks in your container and move toward radical responsibility for your own restoration.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). Submit your question anonymously or with your name; whatever feels safest for you.
👉 Submit Here: https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection: I’d love to hear what came up for you.

Take the Next Step

• ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit
• ★ Download the FREE Handout: "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break the cycle keeping you stuck in a negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient
• ★ Book a Free 25 Minute Discovery Call: Discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call
• ★ Sign up for Liberated Living: Implement the Radical 3 practice (Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility, and Radical Authorship) to reclaim your life. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In this episode, we explore shame not just as a feeling, but as a deeply ingrained training system. Ingrid Hu Dahl returns to unpack how silence, obedience, and performance are often learned early as survival strategies, especially in families shaped by heavy cultural expectations or generational trauma.

If you grew up learning how to perform for love instead of how to actually be safe, this conversation is exactly what you need to hear.

Inside the Conversation:

• The Shame Rulebook: How hidden shame dictates our adult behavior and decisions.
• Conditional Love: The painful difference between spoken unconditional love and lived conditional love.
• Emotional Shielding: Why children subconsciously learn to protect adults emotionally.
• Performance as Safety: The exhausting reality of proving your worth, and the heavy toll it takes on your nervous system.
• Untethering: How to break these patterns and find freedom without blaming yourself.

About the Guest:
Ingrid Hu Dahl is an author, speaker, and guide for those breaking generational patterns. Her work focuses on dismantling the deep-seated rules of shame and obedience that dictate how we operate in adulthood. By bringing awareness to these hidden survival strategies, Ingrid helps high-performers transition from seeking conditional approval to creating genuine, lasting safety in their lives and relationships.

Connect with Ingrid Hu Dahl:

• Website & Book: https://www.ingridhudahl.com/
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/ingridhudahl and https://instagram.com/sunshiningonmorningsnow
• LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/ingridhudahl

Resources Mentioned:
Where the Past Begins by Amy Tan: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Past-Begins-Writers-Memoir/dp/0062688197?&linkCode=sl2&tag=kindakreati0e-20&linkId=eabce7ca9f1ae5a59e93cb4557cffbaa&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl

Get Connected:

• ★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel
• ★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list
• ★ Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c

Take the Next Step:

• ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient
• ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call
• ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In this powerful conversation, we welcome back Elizabeth Kipp for the third time to discuss the missing puzzle piece in addiction and recovery: shame. Rather than viewing shame as a mindset issue or a moral failing, Elizabeth explains the biological reality of our nervous system. This episode breaks down what happens when the body senses a threat, why we seek out immediate soothing mechanisms, and how the mind creates stories to explain physical dysregulation.

Whether you are navigating addiction, struggling with parenting stress, or simply feeling overwhelmed by modern life, this episode offers a practical, science-backed approach to finding your center again.

Key Topics Covered

• The Biological Root of Shame: Why your nervous system is acting exactly as designed to keep you safe.
• Understanding the Polyvagal Lens: How the body cycles through sympathetic activation, dorsal shutdown, and ventral calm.
• The Anatomy of Addiction: Why the body seeks the fastest possible route to soothe a dysregulated nervous system.
• Trauma Loops: What happens when you bounce between fighting your circumstances and completely detaching from them.
• Real-Life Dysregulation: Kara shares a vulnerable story about parental panic, highlighting how "micro-doses" of shame compound during high-stress moments.
• The 40-Day Reset Protocol: A highly accessible practice using deep breathing for three minutes, five times a day to actively rewire the brain.
• Meeting Your Resistance: Why the urge to avoid this practice is actually your evolutionary edge.

About the Guest: Elizabeth Kipp

Elizabeth Kipp is a Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist, Certified Addiction Recovery Coach, Ancestral Clearing Practitioner, and international best-selling author of The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing Power.

Elizabeth blends neuroscience, somatic awareness, and spiritual wisdom to help people release ancestral and personal patterns of suffering. By integrating these modalities with meditation, breathwork, and energy healing, she guides others toward balance and inner harmony. Having healed from over 40 years of chronic pain, anxiety, and addiction, Elizabeth’s mission is to help others reclaim their inner freedom, embody resilience, and live from their highest truth.

Connect with Elizabeth

• Website: https://Elizabeth-Kipp.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.kipp.3
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizi.kipp/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethkipp/

Get Connected.

• Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list
• Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c 

Take the Next Step.

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call
• Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“I decided to separate from my partner after years of feeling unheard and emotionally unsafe. Now that I’ve pulled away, they’re suddenly being kinder and doing things I begged for in the past. It’s messing with my head. Does this mean I gave up too soon?”

We explore the intersection of shame, attachment, and self-trust — and how late effort can trigger old hope, grief, and self-doubt all at once.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why sudden kindness after separation feels so destabilizing
• The difference between crisis-driven change and sustained repair
• The grief of realizing “they heard me all along”
• How to focus on patterns over moments when making hard decisions

If you’ve ever questioned yourself because someone started showing up differently after you pulled away, this episode will help you separate hope from reality — and return to self-trust instead of shame.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠

Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.

Take the Next Step.

★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient

★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call

★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In this episode, I sit down with Andy Regal, a former television executive producer for major networks including MSNBC, CNBC, and Court TV, to discuss the pervasive issue of workplace bullying. Andy shares his deeply personal experiences with toxic leadership, detailing the severe psychological toll that covert and overt corporate abuse takes on high-performing professionals.

From the inherent limitations of traditional HR departments to the deep shame that victims internalize, our conversation exposes the realities of a problem that costs companies billions of dollars annually. Most importantly, Andy outlines a practical framework to help targeted employees reestablish their self-esteem, find psychological safety, and reclaim their joy.

• The Definition of Bullying: We define workplace bullying as repeated, targeted conduct that provides no benefit to the employee or the business.
• The Target Profile: We explore why toxic managers rarely target underperformers; they typically direct their abuse at the most productive, devoted, and loyal employees.
• The Heaven's Fallacy: Doing everything right and working incredibly hard does not guarantee a fair, supportive, or safe environment in the corporate world.
• The HR Problem: We discuss how Human Resources departments often lack the autonomy to protect employees because their salaries are controlled by the executives perpetuating the abuse.
• The Cost of Silence: Allowing a toxic culture to thrive costs US companies an estimated $300 billion a year due to employee burnout, absenteeism, and healthcare expenses.
• The Six Tenets of Healing: Andy shares how true recovery requires establishing psychological safety, rebuilding self-esteem outside of your job title, finding renewed purpose, reigniting joy, practicing positive self-talk, and finding forgiveness.

Download Andy Regal's free Bullying Recovery Guide: https://bullyingrecoveryguide.com

Regal worked his way up to Executive Producer, Executive Vice President of Programming, and VP of Original Programming at major media organizations such as Court TV, CNBC, and MSNBC. He served as Global Head of Video at The Wall Street Journal, overseeing journalists in New York, Washington, San Francisco, London, and Hong Kong.

He garnered honors, including the Loeb Award for Excellence in Business Journalism, the Associated Press Media Editors Award, "Innovator of The Year," and Emmy nominations for Obamacare "Prescribed" and "Consumer 101" on NBC.

• Website: https://andyregal.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyregal-nwb/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/noworkbullies
• Substack: https://substack.com/@aregalmedia
• Link to the book: https://amzn.to/4slDzp9
• Workplace Bullying Recovery Guide: https://andyregal.com/tenents/

• Subscribe to my YouTube channel
• Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list
• Listen to my Podcast: Spotify Link

• Download the FREE handout: "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace: www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call: Discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs: https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call
• Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice (Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility, and Radical Authorship): https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

keep thinking I’ve found the answer.

The habit. The routine. The practice. The mindset shift.

I go all in, hoping this will finally fix my burnout, loneliness, resentment, or anxiety.

And when I’m not magically better a few weeks later, I feel defeated and stop.

It makes me wonder if I’m broken or if nothing actually works for me.

Why does change feel so impossible?

And how do I stop chasing fixes and actually create real, lasting change?

”We explore the intersection of shame, radical acceptance, and sustainable growth — and why healing isn’t about finding the perfect tool, but about building a long-term relationship with yourself.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why “fix it” culture keeps setting us up to feel broken
• What radical acceptance actually looks like in everyday life
• The power of 1% shifts over dramatic overhaulsHow to take responsibility for your healing without drowning in self-blame

If you’ve ever felt exhausted by trying everything and still feeling stuck, this episode will help you reframe change as incremental, human, and possible — even when it’s slow.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠

Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?

Take the Next Step.

★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient

★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call

★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a special re-release of a conversation where I was a guest on The Empowered Journey podcast, hosted by Chris Mamone.

Together, we explore shame not as something to eliminate or overcome, but as a deeply human experience that shapes how we relate to ourselves, our boundaries, and our sense of worth.

This conversation moves beyond surface-level insight and into the quieter dynamics that keep people stuck — including overfunctioning, people-pleasing, burnout, and the belief that safety must be earned rather than embodied.

Inside this episode, we talk about:

What shame actually is (and what it isn’t)

How shame drives self-abandonment and chronic over-giving

Why boundaries feel threatening when worth is conditional

What it looks like to shift from performing healing to practicing agency

How curiosity and self-trust support lasting change

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the right things” but still feel disconnected from yourself, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate reframe — one that invites you back into choice instead of pressure.

🎙️ About Chris & The Empowered Journey

The Empowered Journey podcast, hosted by Chris Mamone, is a space for thoughtful conversations about growth, self-awareness, and personal agency. Chris brings a grounded curiosity to each episode, creating room for reflection without rushing toward quick fixes or performative solutions.

His approach centers on asking better questions, slowing down the process of change, and honoring the complexity of being human — which is exactly why this conversation felt so aligned and meaningful to share here.

🎧 You can explore more episodes of The Empowered Journey: https://empoweredgriefjourney.podbean.com/

Get Connected.

★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel

★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list

★ Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c 

Take the Next Step.

★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient 

★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call

★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

How are we supposed to be mentally well in a world that feels this broken?It feels wrong to be okay when so many people are suffering.It feels wrong to smile, rest, or enjoy my life.

But I also can’t function if I’m constantly submerged in everything that’s happening.I don’t want to turn away.

I don’t want to be numb. I don’t want to pretend things are fine.But I don’t know how to hold all of this and still live.

How do you stay aware without drowning?

And how do you live a normal life without feeling like a terrible person?”We explore the intersection of shame, moral exhaustion, and collective responsibility — and how caring deeply about the world doesn’t require living in perpetual despair.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

Why the idea of simply “turning it off” is rooted in privilege — and what to do with that awareness

The difference between staying informed and doom-consuming

Shifting from rage and helplessness into values-aligned action

How to balance engagement, rest, and sustainable care for yourself and others

If you’ve ever felt crushed by the weight of everything happening in the world — while also feeling ashamed for wanting moments of peace — this episode will help you find a more honest, grounded, and sustainable way to care without destroying yourself.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.

Ready to take the next step?

★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient

★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call

★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living