After a decade of developing disdain for her alcoholic husband, the disease transformed Sheri into a bit of bitch. And now, looking back, no one is happier about the bitchiness than Matt.

Sheri and Matt talk about the internal pain that Matt required in order to finally make it over the hump to permanent sobriety. The alcohol-induced depression and anxiety were debilitating, but the extremely cold shoulder from his wife was painful as well. And it was a major contributing factor in his eventual recovery. Sheri set boundaries and detached before she knew what either of those terms meant. We hope our story can speed along the progress of your story.

Our new book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage is available on Amazon for Kindle pre-order. Join our book launch team and receive an advance copy pdf version now.

Join the soberevolution Book Launch Team

Socializing sober is not just a challenge for alcoholics in recovery. Everyone impacted by this disease has to find a groove in a society that depends on alcohol for all social occasions. In this episode, Matt complains about stinky beer breath while Sheri glares in disbelief that he has the nerve to verbalize such a complaint from the same hole that used to ruminate in stinky beer breath. Matt also makes a regrettable comment about how with a world full of men like him, he’s surprised every woman isn’t a lesbian. It isn’t Matt’s best day, but still, the truth about socializing sober in a booze-soaked world is raw and enlightening. It just proves that we, as a culture, have a long way to go.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

Sobriety doesn’t fix anything, but it is a prerequisite for recovery from an alcoholic marriage. Once we realize we have removed alcohol, and our relationship is getting worse, we’ve got a lot of work to do. And the journey is a bitch. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about how much scarier recovery is than addiction, learning to listen to our instincts, moving past insecurities and why trust isn’t just something you push through and make yourself feel. This one is deep, and we hope our stumbling and fumbling will make the task of recovery a little smoother for the relationships just getting started on the journey.

Sheri also gives Matt a double-barrel salute, and we talk about recovery words Matt hates (like recovery), so it’s not all super heavy.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

We asked a group of loved ones of alcoholics to read a chapter of our book, soberevolution, that will be released on September 23rd. The chapter is titled “Healing Wounds,” and it is about working through the resentments of an alcoholic marriage, dealing with damage done to the kids, rebuilding trust and the important role of patience. The focus group described the chapter as a fairytale. They did not feel like their alcoholic relationships could ever reach the goal of repair.

In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the long and arduous process of making the fairytale a reality. We talk about how emotionally immature I was, and how far away I was from understanding what was happening to our marriage, before I was in long-term sobriety. Our story is not an impossible fairytale, but it does require work and patience.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

We talk a lot of the trauma and pain of living with an alcoholic, but we rarely share the details. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the emotional struggles of confronting alcoholism head on, trying not to engage because it is pointless, and the triggers that make ignoring the problem impossible. The advice of experts is helpful, but human instinct sometimes makes following best practices impossible. Sheri relives the emotional moments and the reactions they caused.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

Recovery is not a binary choice. You are not a success if you are sober, and a failure if you relapse. The same is true for the loved ones of alcoholics. Perfection should not be the goal. Progress should. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the impact that we make on the people around us in our pursuit of recovery from our alcoholic marriage. Sheri calls it transformation (helpful), and Matt talks about Olympic javelin throwers stabbing themselves in the foot (less helpful). They both agree the destination is worth the effort when it comes to transforming out of an alcoholic marriage.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

I thought I was so funny, cute, smart and charming when I was drinking. Little did I know, I was just a loud and boorish bloviator of intoxicated rambling. Now I’m sober. Now I see it.

In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the stark reality of sobriety, and the honest challenges that come along with the good of no longer poisoning my brain. As our roles in our relationship shift, and our contributions to the marriage come into balance, the reality is emotional.

If you would like to connect with others who are going through the same emotional navigation of loving an alcoholic, we’d love for you to join us in the Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it is easy to blame poor lifestyle choices and lack of willpower for the jam your abusive drinker has gotten the both of you into. But it is far more complex than that, and tragically misunderstood. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the brain chemistry of alcoholism. We especially look at it from Sheri’s perspective as her opinions changed through her education and understanding of what was really going on in Matt’s noggin.

If you resonate with this conversation, and you are seeking support for your recovery as the loved one of an alcoholic, we hope you’ll check out our program of connection, empathy, compassion and healing:

Echoes of Recovery

A dry drunk is a label associated with someone who white-knuckles his way through sobriety. A dry drunk might not be drinking alcohol, but he is not learning, growing or seeking the enlightenment of recovery. Sheri and Matt are in the middle of a raw and traumatic dry relapse in their relationship recovery. Alcohol has had no place in their marriage for 3 1/2 years now, but the lack of trust and need to be trusted has sent us reeling into a pit of despair as though we are still in active alcoholism. The pain and hopelessness is palpable in this episode recorded during the depths of the conflict. Here we explain in vivid reality the number one reason most marriages in recovery from alcoholism end in divorce.

If you resonate, and you want a safe place to share your story of loving an alcoholic, please check out our Echoes of Recovery Program.

Echoes of Recovery

One of the most common concerns Sheri and Matt hear from the loved ones of alcoholics is, “He’s a drunk asshole now, but what if he sobers up, and he’s still an asshole?” The processes of alcoholism sobriety and relationship recovery are long and arduous, and they take as much patience as they require effort. Just as alcoholism is a progressive disease, there is a progression to recovery. We don’t lose our asshole-ness as soon as we put down the drink. It takes time, and the final destination isn’t perfect. But it’s a good, normal, asshole-free messy.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and you would like to connect with others who know what you are going through, please consider joining our Echoes of Recovery program. Check out the link below:

Echoes of Recovery