If you've ever stared at a text from your abusive ex — cortisol flooding your body, hands shaking, entire day derailed before it even started — then this episode was made for you. In this powerful conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Rina Groeneveld, a certified high conflict divorce coach, mother of four, professional translator, and author of the forthcoming book AI Armor. Rina brings a rare and deeply personal expertise to the intersection of technology and trauma: she is not just a coach who helps domestic violence survivors navigate custody battles and high conflict divorces — she is someone who has lived it. And now, she has found a way to use one of the most powerful tools of our time to protect the people who need it most: AI.

Rina's book, AI Armor, grew out of something she noticed in her own Facebook support group for women navigating high conflict separations — the exhausting, triggering, mentally consuming experience of having to read, decode, and respond to messages from an abusive ex. What started as a workshop experiment — using AI prompts to "decode" a narcissistic ex's texts, similar to the beloved NARC Decoder concept — quickly evolved into a full system. In this episode, Rina walks us through exactly how AI can act as a buffer between a survivor and their abuser: allowing them to process messages without being ambushed by trauma responses, helping them identify patterns in communication for court proceedings without having to relive years of abuse, and crafting legally strategic, emotionally boundaried responses without burning through hours of precious mental bandwidth. She also addresses the real concerns people have — from AI hallucinations to the possibility of AI chat logs being subpoenaed — with the same measured, nuanced clarity she brings to all of her coaching work.

The mindset shift at the heart of this episode is this: you are not alone in the room with your abuser's words anymore. Whether you are in the middle of a high conflict custody battle, still receiving abusive texts years after separation, or preparing to face your ex in court, there are tools — and people — that can help carry the weight. Rina's encouragement to listeners is both practical and deeply humane: reach out, use every support available to you, and know that no matter how long the tunnel feels, there is light at the end of it. For anyone navigating coercive control, narcissistic abuse, or the grinding emotional labor of a high conflict divorce, this episode offers not just hope — but a concrete new strategy.

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