Plus: why giving your spouse a heads-up before a necessary financial move can protect your credibility, your negotiation, and your long-term outcome.

4 TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

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In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with Chicago family law attorney Jessica Marshall for a candid conversation about what really protects you during divorce — and where people often put themselves at risk without realizing it.

Jessica shares an attorney’s perspective on why clients sometimes leave good lawyers, how poor communication can derail trust, and why financial preparation can completely change the attorney-client relationship. Together, Karen, Catherine, and Jessica explore what happens when clients walk into divorce without understanding their documents, assets, compensation, or long-term financial consequences — and why attorneys are not always the right professionals to explain the full financial picture.

The conversation also dives into the growing use of AI in divorce. Jessica explains the risks of relying on AI-generated legal documents, inaccurate case law, unsupported conclusions, and AI-driven “diagnoses” around narcissism or coercive control. While AI can be a useful tool for education and question-building, this episode makes one thing clear: it should never replace professional legal or financial guidance.

You’ll also hear an honest discussion about attorney hopping, when switching lawyers may make sense, when it may raise red flags, and why the duration of the case, the number of attorneys, and the reason for the switch all matter.

This episode is a powerful reminder that divorce cannot be navigated passively. The more financially clear, organized, and prepared you are, the better equipped you are to communicate with your attorney, understand your options, and make informed decisions about your future.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Guest:

Jessica Marshall is a family law attorney based in Chicago, Illinois, known for her strong advocacy, courtroom confidence, and commitment to protecting clients and their children through complex divorce and family law matters.

Connect with Jessica:
Website: IllinoisLawForYou.com

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Is inherited money really "yours" in a divorce? Not necessarily — and the details of how that money was handled can make or break your case. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan tackle one of the most misunderstood topics in later-in-life divorce: inheritance.

Sparked by a recent Business Insider article on how baby boomer divorce is "rerouting inheritance" and reshaping retirement, Karen and Catherine break down why common assumptions — "it came from my parents, so it's mine" — often don't hold up once documentation, commingling, and state law enter the picture.

They cover:

Why inherited property isn't automatically protected, and how commingling and transmutation can change everything

The three categories of documents you need: source documents (wills, trusts, probate records), path documents (account statements, deeds, business records), and forward-looking documents (tax returns, beneficiary designations, prenups/postnups)

Why "spreadsheets are not source documents" — and what actually holds up in a settlement

The unique financial stakes of gray divorce, where inheritance and retirement often overlap and there's less time to rebuild

The emotional side of inheritance disputes — caregiving, expectation, and adult children's role (or lack thereof) in a parent's divorce

How one inherited asset can ripple through an entire settlement: affecting home division, equalization payments, cash flow, support, and taxes

Why estate planning — beneficiary designations, retirement accounts, life insurance, powers of attorney — needs review after divorce, especially when generational wealth is involved

Karen and Catherine's bottom line: inheritance in divorce isn't just about where the money came from — it's about documentation, title, use, tax consequences, and long-term stability. Before you agree to divide or waive anything tied to an inheritance, get the full financial picture first.

This conversation is for educational purposes only and is not legal, financial, or tax advice. Every state handles divorce and inheritance differently. Please consult your attorney, financial advisor, or other divorce professional before making decisions.

Learn more at MyDivorceSolution.com

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Is what you’re experiencing actually gaslighting? In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with narcissistic abuse expert Tracy Malone — author of Divorcing Your Narcissist — to answer that question with real examples, practical tools, and language you can use right now.

FREE COMPANION RESOURCE

➡️ MyDivorceSolution.com/gaslighting-guide

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After 200 episodes and a decade of helping thousands of individuals navigate one of life’s most difficult transitions, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan step back from the typical divorce topic to explore the deeper patterns they have witnessed over the last 10 years.

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When people think about divorce, they often assume they can just "choose" an uncontested process. But what most people don't realize is that uncontested divorce requires more than goodwill — it requires preparation, financial transparency, and a clear understanding of your legal rights. Without that foundation, the most well-intentioned divorces can quickly become expensive, adversarial, and emotionally devastating.

Question everything. Ask for clarity. Take the time you need.

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A divorce settlement agreement may be the most important document you'll sign during your divorce—and one of the least understood.

In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan unpack what a Divorce Settlement Agreement (also known as a Marital Settlement Agreement or MSA) actually covers, why so many costly mistakes happen at this stage, and how to protect yourself before signing anything final.

While mediation and negotiations may produce broad settlement terms, the formal agreement is where those terms become legally enforceable. Unfortunately, many people discover after the fact that critical financial details were never fully addressed. Missing assets, vague language, overlooked tax consequences, retirement account errors, and unrealistic real estate provisions can create expensive problems long after the divorce is finalized.

Karen and Catherine explain why understanding the financial implications behind every provision matters just as much as understanding the legal language. They share real-world examples of agreements that appeared fair in the moment but later created confusion, conflict, and unintended financial consequences.

If you're approaching mediation, reviewing a settlement proposal, or preparing to sign a Marital Settlement Agreement, this episode will help you understand what questions to ask before making one of the most important financial decisions of your life.

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If divorce is something you've been thinking about — even quietly, even just as a possibility — this episode is for you.

Karen and Catherine sit down with Cindy Stibbard, certified relationship and divorce coach and creator of the Relationship Audit, to explore what it looks like to approach one of life's hardest decisions with intention, preparation, and clarity rather than fear or reaction.

Too many people wait until they're in crisis before they start gathering information. But there's a better path. Cindy shares how her research-backed Relationship Audit helps individuals get an honest, data-driven picture of where their relationship stands across 12 core areas — from values alignment and emotional safety to finances, intimacy, and trust. When paired with the MDS Financial Portrait, people have both the emotional and financial picture they need to make a truly informed decision: whether that means investing in their marriage, pursuing a post-nuptial agreement, or moving toward divorce with a clear and intentional plan.

The conversation also covers why how you begin the divorce process determines so much of what follows — from legal cost to co-parenting

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Divorce mediation, settlement conferences, and court-mandated hearings are among the most searched — and most misunderstood — steps in the divorce process. People want to know what to bring, what happens in the room, and what it means if things don’t settle. But there’s a critical piece most people miss: mediation is not the place to discover you don’t have the documents, don’t understand the numbers, or don’t know whether the proposed settlement actually works for your future.

Key Takeaways

If you’re calling for help two days before mediation, reschedule.

Read the companion blog post: What to Bring to Divorce Mediation — and Why Financial Preparation Changes Everything

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What happens when silence becomes survival?

In this deeply personal and powerful episode of My Divorce Solution’s We Chat Divorce, co-founders Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author Colette Jane Fehr for a conversation about emotional suppression, financial vulnerability, and the hidden cost of staying quiet in marriage and divorce.

Colette shares her own divorce story — from a marriage that looked “perfect” on the outside to navigating emotional disconnection, postpartum anxiety, financial uncertainty, and fear-driven decision-making during divorce. Together, they unpack how silence often shows up as avoidance, people-pleasing, emotional suppression, and fear of conflict — especially for women navigating major financial and life decisions.

This episode explores why so many people stay quiet about money, avoid difficult conversations, and enter divorce negotiations without fully understanding their financial reality. The discussion also highlights the emotional patterns that keep people from advocating for themselves — and how financial clarity can become one of the most empowering tools in divorce preparation.

You’ll hear honest conversations about:

Emotional safety and communication in marriage

Fear of asking financial questions

The connection between silence and financial vulnerability

Why financial clarity changes negotiation outcomes

The danger of making decisions from survival mode

Reclaiming your voice during divorce

Building emotional and financial independence after divorce

How unresolved patterns from childhood impact adult relationships

Why preparation matters before legal negotiations begin

Colette also discusses her new book, The Cost of Quiet, which explores how self-silencing impacts relationships, emotional health, and personal empowerment — and how learning to communicate directly and vulnerably can change the trajectory of your life.

Throughout the episode, Karen and Catherine reinforce a core message of MDS: Divorce is a legal process — but financial in impact.

This conversation is for anyone:

Considering divorce

Feeling financially overwhelmed

Afraid to ask questions

Struggling to advocate for themselves

Trying to decide whether to stay or leave

Wanting to prepare before making major legal or financial decisions

If you’ve been living in silence, this episode is a reminder:

You are allowed to ask questions.

You are allowed to gather information.

You are allowed to reclaim your voice — at your own pace.

Learn More About Colette Jane Fehr

Colette Jane Fehr Official Website

The Cost of Quiet

About My Divorce Solution

My Divorce Solution helps individuals and families prepare financially for divorce through expert analysis, verified financial data, and strategic preparation before negotiations begin. Their signature process, the Divorce Financial Portrait™, provides clarity around assets, liabilities, income, expenses, and settlement scenarios so clients can make informed, confident decisions during divorce.

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