What Does Forgiveness Really Look Like?

Guest Bios

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Guest Bios

Show Transcript

When someone hurts you, and never owns his sin, or apologizes for what he did, are you obligated to forgive? This week on The Roys Report, Pastor Chris Brauns, author of “Unpacking Forgiveness,” will join me to discuss what forgiveness is—and what it isn’t. Brauns wrote his book after a devastating church planting experience with Harvest Bible Chapel. And forgiveness is something he not only teaches—but something he’s wrestled with and applied.  I really hope you can join us for The Roys Report, this Saturday morning at 11 on AM 1160 Hope for Your Life and on Sunday night at 7 on AM 560 The Answer!

This Weeks Guests

Pastor Chris Brauns

Rev. Dr. Chris Brauns is a pastor, author, and ministry consultant. He has served for 14 years at Red Brick Church in Stillman Valley. Chris earned a Doctor of Ministry degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary studying under Dr. Haddon Robinson. Chris is the author of Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep, When the Word Leads Your Pastoral Search: Biblical Principles and Practices to Guide Your Search andBound Together: How We are Tied to Others, in Good and Bad Choices.

Chris and his wife Jaime have four children.

Show Transcript

Note: This transcript has been edited slightly for continuity.

JULIE ROYS: Well, spiritual abuse. It’s become a popular buzz word following the recent scandals in the church. But what is it? And how can you tell if you’re a victim of spiritual abuse? Welcome to The Roys Report, brought to you in part by Judson University. I’m Julie Roys. And today, we’re going to be exploring a topic that rarely gets discussed in Christian circles. And yet spiritual abuse has become this huge issue, with some Christian leaders abusing their power. But they often cloak their abuse in spiritual language. And they take Scripture out of context. And many of us, instead of being able to name what’s happening, we find ourselves in a kind of spiritual and relational vertigo. We’re confused, we’re hurt, manipulated. And by the time we figure out what’s going on, we’re in so deep, that we don’t know how to get out. Well, some of you right now are probably thinking, “Hey, that’s me.” I know a little bit about this because I’ve spent the past 12 to 18 months reporting about spiritually abusive churches and megachurch pastors who have engaged in spiritual abuse. And yet, spiritual abuse really can happen at churches and Christian institutions of any size. And I truly believe, that the best way to battle it is education—not just for lay people like me. But also, for pastors, and Christian leaders. Some of us may resort spiritual abuse without even knowing it. And that’s why I’m so excited about today’s program. And I’m thrilled that Dr. Wade Mullen, the head of the D-Min program at Capital Seminary and Graduate School in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, is joining me. Wade is a passionate abuse advocate. And he’s someone who actually did his entire doctoral thesis on how evangelical organizations use impression management strategies—often spiritually abusive strategies—when they’re faced with a crisis. Wade also will be a keynote speaker at a conference I’m hosting Saturday, November 2nd, at Judson University called Restore Chicago. And I’ll be talking more about that later—but Wade, welcome! I’m just so glad that you could join us this morning! 

DR. WADE MULLEN: Thank you, Julie. It’s great to be on the show.

JULIE ROYS: So, Wade, let’s just start with a definition. Because I think a lot of people have maybe heard, maybe, spiritual abuse. But they’re not really sure what it is. And some of you listening have probably never heard this term. So, what is Spiritual abuse? 

DR. WADE MULLEN: I define it as an attempt by a person to use all that encompasses another person’s spiritual life—their beliefs, their faith, their experiences, their hopes—the person uses that to coerce and control