When our kids reach a certain age—as young as eight, some experts say, and definitely well before thirteen— they suddenly don't think their parents are as great as they once did. Congratulations, you're officially the parent of a tween!

This week we're talking about what tweens are going through emotionally and psychologically... and how we can give them room to grow while still seizing opportunities to connect with them as (big) children.

Margaret and Amy discuss:

We may feel the urge to defend our actions or intentions to our tweens when they spar with us, but we don't actually have to get down "in the mud" with our kids whenever they push our buttons.

Links!

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Should we avoid talking about our children when spending time with friends who are having difficulty conceiving? A member of our Facebook group asks:

"I’m having lunch with a lifelong friend who I don’t see or talk to frequently. I do know that she recently started IVF. My life is currently extremely overwhelmed because I have 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 year-olds that I was fortunate enough to conceive very quickly. How do I support her and also talk about my life, without seeming like I’m complaining about what she wants so badly? I’ve never been nervous to see her in my life and I just feel like I’m going to indirectly hurt her feelings in some way."

Your friend can both be sad about her difficulty conceiving children and excited to hear about yours. The best thing you can do, Amy explains, is to be open with your friend - explain that you want to respect her feelings about the situation and be there for her. She may cry, and that's ok, because it means both that she's letting out her feelings and that she feels you're a safe space to have those feelings.

Once you talk about the elephant in the room, you can have a wonderful visit where you both talk about and receive support for whatever you're going through right now.

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From playing the "Newman" character on multiple sitcoms to keeping the Steve Harvey show audience off hard drugs, Amy and Margaret have had some wild times in the business we call show. In this month's bonus episode, they tell some of their juiciest tales.

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Why does it feel like our career and our family are pulling us in different directions and making it hard to be fully present in both arenas? In her book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much). Dr. Yael Schonbrun explains how we can move from a zero-sum mindset to a life in which our work life and our family life are enable to enrich each other.

Yael Schonbrun is also the co-host of the "Psychologists Off the Clock" podcast, an assistant professor at Brown University, and a mother of three little comedians. In this "Best Of" interview Yael and Amy discuss:

Here's where you can find Yael:

Twitter: @DrYaelSchonbrun

#WorkParentThrive

Buy Yael's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781611809657

Links!

Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on how to manage anxiety

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There are certain phrases that many of us pepper our conversation without a second thought, never pausing to think that we might be working the listener's very last nerve.

We have quite a few phrases we'd love to never ever hear again, and our listeners brought a lot more. In this episode we make the humble request that phrases like "at the end of the day" and "fur babies" be permanently retired from the lexicon. Is that too much to ask?

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How do you keep your very active kids safe when they constantly want to roughhouse with each other? Someone in our Facebook group asks:

Boy moms… help! The fighting, the yelling, the running, hitting, jumping, climbing…I have a 4.5yo and a 3 yo… Any advice or tips? We separate them to different levels when it gets out of hand. Or we say any running needs to happen outside, but it’s difficult to execute when I’m home alone (which is often). How do you all handle it?

Margaret, who has two boys of her own who love roughhousing, explains the house rules around the "sport" that work for her family.

There are actually a lot of benefits to letting kids roughhouse with each other once there are certain safety parameters in place. It gives kids the joy of physical touch, the opportunity to explore and set boundaries, and the benefit (for you!) of tiring them out! You may find that MORE, not less, roughhousing is just the ticket for your active kids!

Here are links to the resources Margaret references:

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If someone asked you "What do you need right now?" would you even be able to articulate it? In her new book NEEDY: How To Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty, intuitive coach Mara Glatzel lays out a roadmap for how to ascertain our needs as human beings, how to ask for it, and how to be comfortable with receiving it.

Mara's work helps humans stop abandoning themselves and start reclaiming their humanity through embracing their needs and honoring their natural energy rhythms. In this episode, Mara and Amy discuss:

Mara argues that the more in tune we are with our own needs, the more we are able to peacefully coexist with others and form authentic relationships.

Here's where you can find Mara:

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The Instagram account @mindfulmadre recently went viral with this post:

"We are becoming less tolerant of the pace of childhood. In a million ways we tell children: hurry up. Grow up. You are already behind." 

Sometimes we rush our kids because we're rushing ourselves—or because we fear our kids will fall behind if they don't keep up with the increasing demands the world has of children, even very small ones.

But who decided that precocious preschoolers are really what we should be aiming for? What are the costs to rushing children? Are there small daily ways in which we can let kids do their own thing at their own paces?

In this episode we discuss:

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

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Is your child who seemingly overreacts to ever minor scrape and bruise really suffering, or are they just looking for some extra attention? Amy explains what could be behind this behavior and how to address it constructively.

A listener in our FB group says:

"I have a 5 year old boy who cries wolf. He's constantly crying as if he broke a bone or has been severely injured after minor bumps and falls. It's gotten so frustrating that I've stopped responding altogether. Has anyone had a kid like this? What did you do/find helpful?"

Amy explains that it's important to contextualize your child's emotionality. When during the day are they acting out - when they're tired and rundown or when they're well-rested? Are they truly experiencing a sensory overload because they have a naturally sensitive nervous system? Are they easily redirected when you offer distractions like a snack or a show?

You can't ignore or diminish the sensitivity out of your kid, but when navigating this issue, it helps to frame your child's reactions as coming from an authentic place that warrants investigation, rather than a devious one that warrants suspicion.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

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Raising a child with a disability is complicated, especially when you're navigating an ableist world on their behalf. Beth Leipholtz is an inclusion and accessibility advocate who believes in creating a more accepting world for our children.

As the hearing mother of a deaf child, Beth is raising her son, Coop, bilingually in both hearing and Deaf cultures. Beth shares her parenting journey on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram @bethandcoop, where she has built a community of more than 1 million people around disability inclusion.

Beth's new new children's book is THE ABCs OF INCLUSION.

Beth, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

Encouraging your kids to ask questions about other people's differences - and letting those people lead the conversation - is one of the best ways to teach them that everyone has value no matter who they are and what they can do.

Here's where you can find Beth:

In this episode Beth mentions the "Welcome to Holland" poem by Emily Perl Kingsley

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