Have you ever caught yourself spiraling and thought, "Why am I doing this again?" This episode is about what happens when we stop trying to get rid of the pattern and start listening to what it's trying to tell us.

We explore why self-sabotage isn't actually the problem, how triggers point us toward unmet needs, and the powerful question that can completely change the way you relate to your patterns.

What you’ll learn…

* The question that helps you understand your triggers* How to identify what your patterns actually want and need* How shadow work helps us move through triggers with compassion

This episode is for you if...

* You struggle with self-sabotage* You judge yourself when old patterns resurface* You feel frustrated that healing isn’t happening “fast enough”

Your invitation…

Take a moment to ask yourself these questions and type them out in the comments (or write them in your journal). Just make sure do somehow do this reflection somewhere that isn’t just in your head, it’s important to witness ourselves in these contemplations.

What is one thing I keep doing that I wish I would stop doing?

Then ask:

* What does that part of me want?* What does that part of me need?* How would that part of me feel if it got that need met?

Notice what comes up, because maybe the pattern isn’t the problem. Maybe it’s showing you exactly where healing wants to happen.

If you’re wanting support exploring these questions more deeply, you’re invited into the Codependency Alchemy membership where we practice this work together through live shadow work sessions, inner child healing practices, monthly AMAs, and community support.

Click here to learn more and join our growing Codependency Alchemy community on Substack.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe