When Our Adult Children Walk Away

What is the Difference: Gaslighting vs Reframing


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The concept of gaslighting has become a common term over the past few years. So what is it and why is it that our adult children are quick to accuse parents of gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when someone says something convincingly and with authority puts into question another's perspective and experiences. Gaslighting pushes others to change their own thinking, beliefs, observations, and values. That, my friends, is gaslighting.

There are people in the world who believe the earth is flat (no offense if you are one of those people) even with all the evidence to the contrary. People have been to space and seen our planet - round and rotating. And, still, there are people who will argue and debate to convince others that we live on a slab.

More importantly, to how we communicate and interact with our adult children, we are often caught off guard when events, experiences, exchanges, and other aspects of family history are (seemingly) suddenly are described as hurtful, shaming, painful and perhaps even abusive. 

It isn't unusual for parents to push back, and try to persuade their adult child that they "simply don't remember correctly". That might be true, and still we are called to listen and consider their perspective. So, how do we listen, consider and acknowledge there are different perspectives to what, for parents, has been factual and true?




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For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!

The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

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When Our Adult Children Walk AwayBy Dr. Janet Steinkamp, EdD

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