What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Ashley Chesnut moved to Birmingham with a certain future in mind. Graduate from seminary, then get a job as a professor and/or Old Testament commentary writer. But you know what they say about "the best laid plans..."

During her time in seminary, Ashley led a small group at her church, for single women. During that time, some of these women began to share about secret struggles with unwanted sexual behavior: things they'd never been able to share with anyone before.

Ashley began to discover both a gifting and a desire to walk alongside these women and support them toward healing and freedom. She has followed up that desire by getting additional degrees and certifications around trauma and counseling. In 2021 Ashley published a book, It's Not Just You: Freeing Women to Talk About Sexual Sin and Fight It Well. We talked about the way many people "send up test balloons" to see if we're going to be safe, and about the privilege and opportunity it is to be trusted with another person's story.

We have a great conversation with Ashley about how her path to where she is today, the joy of helping hurting people learn to connect with authenticity, her love for her "second home," Birmingham AL, and a lot more.  Ashley is also the author of Down in the 'Ham (a children's book about Birmingham), and accompanying coloring books.

Check out Ashley's author link below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Ashley's books on Amazon

#ashleychesnut #itsnotjustyou #downintheham #counseling #therapy #gospel #sexualaddiction #sexaddiction #women #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

What is a sexual betrayal trauma workshop? And why - if you are a woman going through the pain of having been betrayed by your husband/partner - should you consider attending one? In this BONUS episode, Greg & Stacey are joined by Paige and Brittney, two friends who are part of our Awaken community in Birmingham AL, to talk about their experiences in recovery and having attended our workshop.

Like we did when we addressed our Roots Retreat Men's Intensive in Episode 6 (with Adam, James, and Jason), we talked about the shared experiences of people who attend these weekend events, and why they can be so helpful in the process of recovery.

In this episode, Greg, Stacey, Paige, and Brittney talk about the two primary focuses of the Roots Retreat Women's Workshop: Understanding trauma and  addiction. Trauma is an experience shared in some way by basically everyone, but many of us don't recognize the parts of our life that introduced us to trauma long before we were in relationship with our partner. Women who are sexually betrayed often experience that trauma "stepping on the exposed nerve" of unprocessed trauma they already carried. And coming to understand addiction can help women see that the inexcusable things their husbands/partners did often came from patterns that started long before they were together. All of this new or fuller understanding can help her as she heals and moves forward.

If you are a woman struggling in the aftermath of what you've discovered about your partner and are trying to determine what you need to do, and you think the Roots Retreat Women's Workshop may be helpful for you, please reach out to us. We'd love to help you in any way we can!

Check out our links below (including the workshop), and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

#betrayaltrauma #trauma #healing #affairs #sexualbetrayal #therapy #counseling #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Tullian Tchividjian is a name that elicits strong reactions from people, some positive and some negative. As the grandson of Billy Graham, he grew up in a family that was very familiar with public ministry. For years he has been a provocative voice in evangelical Christianity, writing books, preaching sermons, and using social media to promote a consistent and loud message of grace.

Then, in 2015, his life blew up. Revelations of an affair, the loss of his pastoral ministry, and a divorce added up to an extreme public humbling. And by Tullian's own admission, he did not handle it well. From a place of hurt, anger, and fear, he lashed out and received widespread criticism and condemnation within the Christian community.

At the same time, a few friends who were not willing to throw stones came around Tullian, loved him, spoke grace and truth into his life, and were instrumental in his repentance and healing. In 2019 Tullian returned to pastoral ministry as part of the founding of The Sanctuary, a church in Jupiter FL, where he hosts an annual conference called Fallen & Free.

We talked about his story, his fall, the "infamous" Washington Post statement from 2015, his healing & recovery, mixed motives, what recovery communities offer that the church is missing, and how the church could move toward becoming a safer and more gracious place for broken people.

Tullian's latest book, a memoir called Carnage and Grace: Confessions of an Adulterous Heart, was released in March 2024.

Check out Tullian's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Tullian's website
Tullian's books on Amazon
Fallen & Free conference info
The Sanctuary (church) website

#tullian #tulliantchividjian #carnageandgrace #counseling #therapy #gospel #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Gordon Bals has a bit of a reputation around Birmingham Alabama. Many people have referred to him as "that counselor who cries with you." I can't think of too many higher compliments a person could receive.

Gordon founded Daymark Pastoral Counseling in Birmingham AL, and is on faculty at Beeson Divinity School. In the Fall of 2024, under Gordon's direction, Beeson has launched a new program, a Master of Arts in Christian Counseling. This new program provides a context where Gordon can train men and women to show up with the same empathy and kindness he has modeled for decades with his own clients.

We talked about how purposeful presence is more important than sharpening our skills, and about the joy Gordon now has training the next generation of helpful Christian counselors. And we talk about crying a good bit, too. 😊

Check out Gordon's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Daymark Pastoral Counseling (Birmingham AL)
Master of Arts in Christian Counseling program at Beeson Divinity School

#gordonbals #daymark #daymarkpastoralcounseling #beesondivinityschool #beeson #counseling #christiancounseling #therapy #gospel #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Whether you're just discovering the podcast now, or have been listening since the very beginning, this episode is for you! We're giving you a bonus that recaps the first 13 episodes we've released so far. Covering experiences like recovery, honesty, friendship, self-awareness, trust, affirmation, forgiveness, ownership, and interdependence, these first episodes shine a bright light on many ways we can pursue healthy connection.
 
Check out all our guests' links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Episode 3 (Andy Gullahorn & Gabe Scott)
CBS story on the High Five
Andy's website
Ladybird Taco (Gabe's restaurant)

Episode 4 (Phil Herndon)
Tin Man Ministries website

Episode 5 (Isaac Adams)
Iron City Church (Birmingham AL) web site
United? We Pray web site

Episode 7 (Jill Gullahorn)
Jill Gullahorn website (counseling site)
Jill Phillips website (artist site)

Episode 8 (Steve Brown)
Steve Brown's books on Amazon
Key Life (radio shows, articles, etc.)

Episode 10 (Drew Boa)
Husband Material Community web site
Drew's personal web site

Episode 11 (Michael John Cusick)
Restoring the Soul website
Surfing For God book (on Amazon)

Episode 12 (Sharon Hersh)
Sharon's website
Sharon's books on Amazon

Episode 13 (Nate Larkin)
Samson Society website
Pirate Monk podcast (with hosts Nate Larkin & Aaron Porter)

#NateLarkin #SharonHersh #Mic

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

When people tell stories of early recovery, and talk about special individuals whose help and presence was indispensable, there may be no name that comes up more often than Nate Larkin. Literally thousands of men can say they've sat across from Nate in a coffee shop, hearing his story of sexual brokenness & healing, and taking the risk of sharing theirs for the very first time.

Nate is the founder of The Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility & recovery. Like many ministries, organizations, and fellowships (including Awaken), Samson Society came into existence because of the personal history of its founder. For over 20 years Nate has been walking in recovery from sexual addiction. He experienced the life-changing benefits of living in community with trustworthy traveling companions.

Nate wrote a book, released in 2007, called Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood. In the years since, that book has provide helpful guiding principles for many people and organizations pursuing addiction recovery.

Greg and Nate talk about how authentic community provides safe space for people to learn to live in interdependence, a key experience of healthy connection. Nate and his wife Allie live near Columbia TN.

Check out Nate's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Samson Society website
Pirate Monk podcast (with hosts Nate Larkin & Aaron Porter)
Samson and the Pirate Monks book on Amazon

#NateLarkin #SamsonSociety #PirateMonks #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

We're really excited to welcome a guest who has been really helpful and influential in our lives, even though we'd never met before the podcast interview. Sharon Hersh is a therapist and author, whose book The Last Addiction: Why Self-Help is Not Enough was one of the first ones Stacey read when our lives changed in 2009.

In addition to being a therapist, author, and college professor, Sharon is also a recovering alcoholic. She has openly shared her story of addiction, recovery, and lessons learned about connection vs. isolation.

The conversation we had is NOT just for people with addictions. It's also for those who love people with addictions. It's for people who desire escape from and control over life's painful realities. In other words, it's for all of us.

Sharon is the author of several other books and a sought-after speaker. See the links below for her other resources and social media presence.

Check out Sharon's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Sharon's website
Sharon's books on Amazon
Sharon's Facebook page
Sharon's Instagram page

#SharonHersh #LastAddiction #Belonging #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #alcoholism #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

For men and women seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, few people have been as influential or helpful as Michael John Cusick. Greg, Stacey, and Bobby all share some of our experiences with how Michael's book and podcast have been invaluable in our own path forward. Greg first met Michael in 2014 when he spoke at Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, AL.

Michael is a therapist,  author, and Founder/CEO of Restoring the Soul, a counseling practice that provides opportunities for life-changing breakthrough with licensed and experienced therapists. Their holistic approach creates an atmosphere of safety and grace where people can explore their relationships, identity, emotions, and spirituality.

In 2012 Michael released the book Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggles. It, along with Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, has been extraordinarily powerful in helping people discover what needs they are actually trying to meet when pursuing broken behavior. The book contains a story (that Greg and Michael talk about) that's part of the reason for our podcast's name!

Restoring the Soul offers individual and group intensive therapy experiences, as well as a blog, podcast, and other resources.

Check out Michael's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

 Restoring the Soul website
Restoring the Soul podcast
Surfing For God book (on Amazon)
Training Session at Beeson Divinity School (2014)

#MichaelJohnCusick #RestoringTheSoul #SurfingForGod #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Anyone who has interacted with Drew Boa knows he's a very special man. Drew loves people, and he has a gift for helping people realize how valuable they are. Some people's encouragement involves empty platitudes. Others give back-door advice disguised as encouragement. People who get to know Drew know he's paying attention - his words are thoughtful and specific.

Drew founded Husband Material, a community that helps men outgrow porn and become mature through podcasts, videos, community, courses, and coaching. For men seeking freedom from unhealthy & unwanted sexual behavior, Husband Material provides a safe place to tell your story, ask questions, request prayer, make new friends, learn how to heal, and celebrate progress.

When I was talking with Drew about how this episode's focus on connection was going to be encouragement, he told me he prefers to use the terms "affirmation" and "blessing." Before you dismiss this distinction as just semantics, listen and you'll see why the distinction is important. Our words have the power to build or tear down, and carefully chosen words of affirmation and blessing call out the glory of God in each person who is made in his image.

Check out Drew's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Husband Material Community web site
Drew's personal web site

#DrewBoa #HusbandMaterial #outgrowporn #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

I'm really grateful to be able to share this conversation I had recently with my friend Darren. He is an alumnus of the Roots Retreat, and for the past several years has been actively growing in freedom and recovery from sexual addiction.

Darren shares very openly and vulnerably about some of the struggles he had that contributed to his life of addiction, and how his initial experience with recovery was half-hearted, primarily seeking to avoid consequence. He talks about his time at the Roots Retreat, and how it was pivotal to him getting in touch with deep wounds that had previously kept him from really seeking help and close, supportive connection.

Darren's story has helped many people in his own recovery community where he lives, and we hope it will encourage you to seek out the people who will support you no matter what you're walking through.

Check out our links below (including to the Roots Retreat), and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

#RootsRetreat #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)