What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

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Does a focus on acknowledging trauma and providing safety create more resilient or fragile people? That question is at the heart of many charged discussions about therapy and trauma work. Virtually every contemporary therapeutic modality recognizes the impact trauma has on our current struggles. But many people feel it's too much focus, and that the result is people who can't handle anything difficult and who call "trauma" on everything that's hard in life.

Chuck DeGroat has a lot to say about this. He has been a pastor, and is currently a therapist, author, and seminary professor (Western Theological Seminary) who specializes in pastoral & leadership health, abuse & trauma, and navigating spiritual & emotional obstacles on the faith journey.

Chuck is the author of multiple books, including When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and
Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and to God When You’re Weary, Wounded, and Wandering. He also authors a Substack page (Sit With Chuck), and a recent post is the subject of most of our conversation.

Chuck lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan with his wife. They have two grown daughters.

#chuckdegroat #sitwithchuck #connection #counseling #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #narcissism #sexuality #addiction #betrayaltrauma #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation

Chuck's personal page

Sit With Chuck (Substack page, see "Safety and Suffering" posted 1/22/26)

Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at Western Seminary

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For anyone who has ever said, "A part of me wants to ________, but another part thinks it might not be a good idea..." This episode is for you.

People actually ARE made up of many complex parts...it's part of how we reflect the image of God. And a counseling modality know as Internal Family Systems (IFS) that began in the 1980s has helped countless people better understand themselves and how they experience the world around them.

Jenna Riemersma is a therapist who has become one of the world's leading experts in IFS. She is a Certified Sexual Addiction (CSAT) and Certified Multiple Addictions (CMAT) Therapist, and has written multiple books on IFS, including the groundbreaking Altogether You.

Greg and Stacey got a chance to have a conversation with Jenna in which she gave a crash course in IFS - what it is, how it works, and how it helps people understand  and approach all their parts with curiosity and compassion.

Jenna's website

Jenna's books (on Amazon)

Insight Timer app (Jenna has meditations in the app)

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Our guest for Episode 57 is a recognized expert in biblical sexuality. Dr. Juli Slattery has decades of experience as a therapist, author, and founder of the organization Authentic Intimacy. For years she has been helping women and men move toward healing from painful experiences with sexual brokenness, and developing a healthy view of their sexuality.

Her podcast Java With Juli offers great, thought-provoking perspectives on sex and relationships, and her new book Surrendered Sexuality helps people better understand the significance and design of our God-given sexuality. In it she writes about how Jesus gave His life not primarily to change behavior, but to renew our identity—which is rooted in our union with Christ, not our wounds, feelings, desires, past or present sins, or purity. Embracing this will help us experience sexuality in the way God intended.

#julislattery #drjulislattery #javawithjuli #surrenderedsexuality #connection #counseling #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #sexuality #sexualaddiction #betrayaltrauma #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation

Authentic Intimacy website

Java With Juli podcast

Surrendered Sexuality on Amazon

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Since the late '90's / early 2000's, Passion Music has been blessing the Church with song after song to sing together. And one of its primary worship leaders is our guest Kristian Stanfill.

Kristian is the voice you've heard on songs like "One Thing Remains," "Death Was Arrested," "Glorious Day," and "Come to Jesus." He is a passionate, enthusiastic worshipper and worship leader who leads at Passion conferences and at his home church, Passion City Church in Atlanta.

There's another part of Kristian's life that became known over the past few years. In November 2020, a few of his closest friends confronted Kristian about his alcoholism. What had started as a crutch/escape from stress and difficult emotions had developed into an addiction and was out of control. What happened next is an amazing story of grace, healing, and recovery.

After stepping out of the spotlight for a couple years, Kristian released Make It Out Alive, an album of songs written in his time with God in recovery. More recently he released Come to Jesus, a new collection of worship songs and real-life encouragements.

Kristian lives in Atlanta with his wife Kerri and their kids.

#kristianstanfill #passionmusic #cometojesus #makeitoutalive #worship #passion #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversation

Kristian's website
Passion Music website
Kristian on Instagram

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RE-RELEASE. This episode originally released July 22, 2024.

For men and women seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, few people have been as influential or helpful as Michael John Cusick. Michael is a therapist,  author, and Founder/CEO of Restoring the Soul, a counseling practice that provides opportunities for life-changing breakthrough with licensed and experienced therapists. Their holistic approach creates an atmosphere of safety and grace where people can explore their relationships, identity, emotions, and spirituality.

In 2012 Michael released the book Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggles. It, along with Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, has been extraordinarily powerful in helping people discover what needs they are actually trying to meet when pursuing broken behavior. The book contains a story (that Greg and Michael talk about) that's part of the reason for our podcast's name!

In early 2025 Michael released his second book, Sacred Attachment: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion and Trusting in Divine Love. This book explores how an understanding of attachment theory can help tired and wounded Christians get "unstuck" in our relationship with God and experience the closeness he intended us to have with him.

Restoring the Soul offers individual and group intensive therapy experiences, as well as a blog, podcast, and other resources.

Check out Michael's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!

Restoring the Soul website
Restoring the Soul podcast
Surfing For God and Sacred Attachment (on Amazon)
Training Session at Beeson Divinity School (2014)

#MichaelJohnCusick #RestoringTheSoul #SurfingForGod #SacredAttachment #attachmenttheory #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

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The scariest thing about kids and tech isn’t just what they can find—it’s what can find them. Greg & Bobby sat down with Chris McKenna, founder of Protect Young Eyes and president of Better Tech, to map a practical path through the chaos: clear relational scripts, layered technical guardrails, and a mindset that trades “set it and forget it” for steady, confident presence.

Chris breaks the work into two buckets—relational and technical—and shows how the ratio shifts as kids grow. For little ones, lock down devices and avoid exposure; for teens, double down on agency and honest talk. 

We explore the five habits of a tech-ready home (you'll want to get to know these). Chris outlines layered protection—router, device, location, and app—and explains why your router is the most important device you own. If your teen already has social media, you’ll get “ridiculously direct” scripts for sextortion-proofing and an approach that invites confession without shame.

We also touch on policy and the broader movement: how Better Tech equips classrooms and pushes for laws that protect kids and hold platforms accountable. You don’t need a computer science degree to lead your family well—you need small, consistent actions and language your kids can remember when it matters.

#chrismckenna #protectyoungeyes #bettertech #delayistheway #families #parenting #childhoodtrauma #adolescenttrauma #digitalresponsibility #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #recovery #connection #conversation

ProtectYoungEyes.com

The Better Tech Project

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Anytime we can encourage people in caring professions we love to do it! If you walk with, pastor, or counsel people going through hard times, this is a conversation you're going to want to hear.

Karrie Garcia is a pastor, life coach, and author who inspires change in others by boldly sharing her journey to freedom. She has seen firsthand how God’s true redemptive purpose for our lives does not begin once we’re free from pain, rather it stems directly out of that pain.

Since 2014, her nonprofit Freedom Movement has offered people the chance to process and heal on the road to freedom through offerings like workshops, certificate program and one-on-one coaching.

By learning how spirituality and the body (particularly the brain & nervous system) are impacted by trauma, we can be more confident that the help we provide is truly helpful and addressing not only surface symptoms, but more importantly what's going on under the surface. Healing and freedom involve the brain, the body, and the Bible.

#karriegarcia #freedom #freedommovement #freeandfullyalive #neuroscience #storywork #connection #counseling #caregivers #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #vulnerability #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation

Karrie Garcia website

Freedom Movement website

Free & Fully Alive (Karrie's book on Amazon)

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It can be scary to examine spiritual messages we've heard all our lives, but it sometimes can also be the path to experiencing God more truly, deeply, and biblically. 

Steve Cuss is an author, speaker, and pastor who has a passion for understanding what drives Christians to feel anxiety, fear, and exhaustion about their faith & relationship with God. He has written books that examine the role anxiety plays in leadership (Managing Leadership Anxiety), and the troubling gaps we notice in our spirituality (The Expectation Gap).

In an illuminating conversation, Steve talks about the importance of...

• Leaders and caregivers being spiritually and emotionally healthy.
• Realization that not every dramatic spiritual story is meant to be an exact template for exactly how all Christians should react.
• Understanding that self-condemnation about lack of spiritual progress actually keeps us stuck and frozen.
• Discovering gentle steps we can take to increase resilience and move in the directions we desire.

#stevecuss #expectationgap #managingleadershipanxiety #humansized #spirituality #growth #change #curiosity #kindness #selftalk #spiritualpractices #therapy #healing #trauma #vulnerability #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation

SteveCussWords (Steve's website)

Steve's books (Amazon)

Five Steps to Christmas Sanity PDF (signup download)

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It's December, and just like last year, we're giving you something extra for the holidays. Each week in December we'll release a new episode for you to enjoy! Please remember to follow/subscribe to the show, write a positive review, and share us with others. ALSO, if the show means something to you, please consider a financial gift to help us continue! (Link to give below)

For the first December episode, we caught up with a friend who is both a therapist and a lover of Christmas! Thaddeus Heffner lives in Franklin TN, and has been practicing therapy there since 2009. Many of Thaddeus' clients are people who have also connected with Awaken.

In addition to helping people, Thaddeus loves Christmas and he loves his community. A few years ago he and a friend started a Christmas tradition connected to the lighting of the Franklin Christmas tree. It has grown into something the people of Franklin look forward to each year. Thaddeus has even written a children's book about the tradition.

We talk about Christmas, we talk about therapy, we talk about walking with people as they heal, grow, and begin to take agency and ownership over their own process. It's a rich conversation and we hope you'll be encouraged by it.

Merry Christmas!

#thaddeusheffner #franklinchristmastree #christmastraditions #beersandcheers #therapy #agency #trauma #healing #addiction #vulnerability #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation

Franklin Christmas Tree Facebook page

The First Franklin Christmas Tree book (Amazon)

Thaddeus Heffner’s therapist website

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It's critical for ministry leaders to understand their responsibility and opportunity to help people in their churches who are sexually struggling. That was a key theme in our rich conversation with Sam Black, Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes. Sam explained that empathy plus action breaks porn’s grip, and how churches can become truly safe communities for strugglers and spouses. We talked about practical tools, trauma-informed insights, and a clear path toward allyship, healing, and prevention.

Some of the themes from our conversation included...
• Early exposure + repetition + pain = a common pathway into pornography.
• Allyship and accessibility work better than traditional accountability.
• How mind-body-spirit healing helps interrupt the addiction cycle.
• What constitutes safe people in safe places with a safe process.
• How church leaders often unintentionally add harm to betrayed spouses.
• Sex (or more sex) is not the solution to porn use.
• How to find available, practical, ready-to-use tools for pastors and leaders.
• How healing it is when leaders  admit mistakes & repair ruptures.

#samblack #covenanteyes #thehealingchurch #pornographyaddiction #therapy #healing #addiction #trauma #vulnerability #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation

Covenant Eyes website

Five Stones pastor kit (FREE from Covenant Eyes)

The Healing Church book (Amazon)

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