Flying Free

When Coercively Controlling Fathers Sabotage Mothers' Relationships With Their Children [305]


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In this deeply insightful episode, I sit down with Dr. Emma Katz to discuss the phenomenon of coercively controlling fathers sabotaging mothers' relationships with their children. Dr. Katz introduces the term “child and mother sabotage” (CAMS) to replace the often co-opted term “parental alienation,” highlighting its roots in coercive control and its frequent targeting of mothers.

Dr. Katz explains how societal sexism plays a critical role in these dynamics, amplifying the harm done to mothers and perpetuating harmful stereotypes. She also touches on the challenges survivors face in escaping abuse and emphasizes the strength and resilience it takes to rebuild after experiencing coercive control.


Key Topics Discussed:

  • CAMS Explained: Why “child and mother sabotage” is a more accurate and protective term than “parental alienation.”
  • The Role of Societal Bias: How sexist stereotypes are weaponized against mothers in cases of coercive control.
  • Global Gender Bias: Findings from UN research that show the pervasive bias against women worldwide.
  • Survivor Recognition: Why victims of coercive control deserve societal recognition akin to war heroes.
  • Practical Guidance: How survivors can use CAMS terminology in legal and advocacy settings.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

  • Read Dr. Katz’s book, Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives.
  • Read the article that Dr. Katz quoted from in today’s interview. 
  • Check out Dr. Katz’s Substack and connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook
  • Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote another book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.
  • My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. 
  • Flying Free is my online membership program designed for Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we want to equip and support you through this program.
  • Flying Higher is my online membership program for Christian women interested in 10Xing their self-development progress. 

Dr. Emma Katz is a researcher in domestic violence and coercive control, whose work has helped shape legislation and professional practice globally. Her book, Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives (Oxford University Press), is widely acclaimed. Emma also brings her research to the public in an accessible and influential way on her platform "Decoding Coercive Control with Dr. Emma Katz", which is read by 10,000s of people in more than 90 countries around the world. Emma's research has illuminated children's experiences of coercive control, which had previously remained largely invisible. She argues that children are affected by many forms of abuse inherent to coercive control, including the breaking down of close relationships with loved ones, deprivation of resources, constrained behavior and isolation from the outside world. Her research has been described as "pioneering work" that "will change how we understand and respond to children’s experience of domestic abuse.”

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Flying FreeBy Natalie Hoffman

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