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There is a difference between helping with love, versus being the person who is allowing the continuation of dysfunction to happen by enabling.
I recently watched a movie called ‘To Leslie’ that was an unexpected success in my book, Andrea Riseborough played Leslie and knocked it out of the park as an alcoholic mom. The reason I say this is because as an adult child of an alcoholic, I could relate! This story hit so close to home and was an accurate depiction of how many times I would try to help my mom but it became enabling.
I learned that healthy boundaries may seem harsh, but are necessary for the health of your personal well-being and your family's.
You should never feel guilty for setting boundaries with a parent who is unstable and damaged in their thinking and posture. Giving them help does NOT help in the long run. When their actions show that they are changing, then you may pop in to see if they really want to get healthy. Change takes time, and it may never happen, wait and see.
Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity
Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered
The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/
Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/
*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.
 By Phylis Mantelli
By Phylis Mantelli5
2525 ratings
There is a difference between helping with love, versus being the person who is allowing the continuation of dysfunction to happen by enabling.
I recently watched a movie called ‘To Leslie’ that was an unexpected success in my book, Andrea Riseborough played Leslie and knocked it out of the park as an alcoholic mom. The reason I say this is because as an adult child of an alcoholic, I could relate! This story hit so close to home and was an accurate depiction of how many times I would try to help my mom but it became enabling.
I learned that healthy boundaries may seem harsh, but are necessary for the health of your personal well-being and your family's.
You should never feel guilty for setting boundaries with a parent who is unstable and damaged in their thinking and posture. Giving them help does NOT help in the long run. When their actions show that they are changing, then you may pop in to see if they really want to get healthy. Change takes time, and it may never happen, wait and see.
Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity
Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered
The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/
Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/
*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

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