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The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.
• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath
Watch this on YouTube!
https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY
Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.
Support the show
Learn more with Curious Neuron:
Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Email: [email protected]
By Cindy Hovington, Ph.D.5
215215 ratings
Send us a text
The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.
• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath
Watch this on YouTube!
https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY
Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.
Support the show
Learn more with Curious Neuron:
Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Email: [email protected]

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