I was afraid to get better. And when I say "I", I mean my ego. I thought if I got better, no one would care about me anymore. No one would ask me how I am or think about me. That if I was well people would get on with their lives and I'd be left on my own. Sounds fkd up, and it is, however I appreciate the ways of the ego and the lengths it'll go to, to keep me in a box of, "this is just the way life is!"

So when Professor Jackson, my Neurologist said to me, "you can be pain free if you choose to really put your mind and actions towards it", my ego felt threatened. And it felt threatened because he spoke to something in me that said, "YES, he's right!" His words woke up a dormant power inside that would eventually give life to self responsibility, freedom and choice.

My ego reminded me of all the times I tried to get out of pain with no successful outcome, telling me, "there's no use, no point, it won't work, what does this guy know?" I now know it was trying to protect me from being powerful, which would then lead me to being well, free and happy. It was time for me to let go of getting love from something being wrong with me and choose to receive love just as I am. That no particular state would make me more loveable or gain more attention.

Letting go of ego stories and reframing can be a hard slog as all my coaching clients will know too well. But fk, it's worth it.

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