We laugh a lot in today's episode, sharing what we would adjust about the other if we had a magic wand. In the many laughs, there are also some good truths to listen to, truths that we can tap into and, pardon the pun, adjust. 

When you listen, see if you can hear where we can consider that other a little more, respect the other a little more, communicate with the other a little more gently. We of course can choose whether or not to adjust our ways, or not, either way, the truth is there. 

Enjoy today's episode. We hope it brings you laughter, relatability and some home truths into your relationship. 

Kat & Steve. 

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This episode is my honest answer to a listener question (thank you, Sarah from Toronto): How did you land at the decision not to have children?

I’ve always known I wanted deep love, but I never felt that same undeniable, biological, aching pull toward having children. I assumed I’d probably have them one day but it was never a soul-deep calling for me.

When I met Steve who was very clear he didn’t want any more children, the question came to the front of the table. Is this something I genuinely want? Or something I think I should want? Can I be at peace with his door being closed while mine is maybe open, but not exactly active?

Becoming a step-mum gave me a real, unfiltered taste of parenthood. The joy. The mess. The demands. The shifts. It didn’t make the decision for me, but it did make me reflect deeply on the life I want to live and the woman I want to be.

But if I’m honest, my biggest tension wasn’t about biology or longing. It was guilt.
Guilt about not giving my mum a grandchild because she would be the most loving Lola on this earth.

The conversation I had with my mum softened everything. When I cleared that guilt with her, I finally felt free to choose the life that is true for me.

This episode is for anyone navigating choice, pressure, timelines, guilt, or the quiet knowing in your gut that doesn’t match what the world tells you you “should” want.

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Steve and I share our learnings (and laughs) from Scenic Sundays - a day once a month we set aside with no agenda, no plan, and no rush. Just faith, flow, and following what feels good.

Scenic Sundays have brought us some of the greatest memories and moments in our relationship. They're the kind of days that remind you what presence actually feels like: deep chats in the car, spontaneous detours, belly laughs, and finding new places we never would’ve discovered if we’d stuck to a plan.

We talk about:

• How Scenic Sundays began and what it’s taught us
• Letting go of rigidity and trusting intuition to lead the way
• The balance between structure and spontaneity
• How creating space for flow opens up new ideas and opportunities

This three year ritual we've committed to leans into our motto, 'adventure awaits'. It's probably one of my most favourite things in our relationship.

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You know how you want to live. You know how you want to feel in your body, in your relationship, in your life. You do know.

But so often, we tell ourselves we don’t. We tell ourselves we’re confused, unsure, not ready. We hide behind stories that keep us stuck in the same patterns, even when something inside us is screaming for change.

The gap between what we know and how we’re living is often the very thing keeping us disconnected, tired, resentful, or restless.

Isn't it about time you did something about calling yourself home to what you already know and taking the next real step toward living it? Listen to the episode if you are in need of the reminder that you, already know. 

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Before I knew about perimenopause, Steve had never even heard the word either. Like a lot of men (and women), it just wasn’t on his radar until it started showing up in real time, through my body, emotions, and energy. And now, thankfully, medical professionals talking about it out loud. 

We talk about:

• What this season has looked and felt like from his perspective
• The changes he’s noticed in me and in our relationship
• How we keep the conversation open so he knows how to best support me
• Why it’s so important for couples to talk about this, even when it’s uncomfortable or unknown

This episode is for anyone who’s in or around this stage of life. You don't have to be in a relationship with someone going through it. It could be your mum, your sister, your aunt, your friend. 

Perimenopause doesn’t just affect the person going through it. It affects the people around us too. And when we talk about it openly, it becomes something to navigate together.

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As I approach my 40th birthday, I wanted to take a moment to honour the decade that’s brought me here, my 30s. The years of building, pushing, proving, creating, and doing the deep work to come home to myself.

In the two weeks leading up to my birthday, I sat down with myself and wrote out some powerful reflection statements and journalled out the answers. A moment to say thank you for everything that’s shaped me, and to consciously step into what’s next; a decade I want to feel rooted, easeful, aligned, and full of quiet significance.

This episode is for anyone standing at a threshold. A birthday, a life change, a transition, that in-between space where you can feel something new calling you forward.

If you’ve ever felt the pull to stop pushing and start allowing… to stop chasing “more” and start honouring “enough,” this one’s for you.

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Steve and I talk about the season we’re in as his girls turn 16 and almost 19, a chapter we used to ache for when they were little and life was full-on. They're more independent, seeking their own adventures and opportunities, and the this time of life we never thought could come fast enough, is here. 

Back then, we dreamed about what freedom would look like. We talked about moving to Europe the minute they turned 18, chasing adventure, and living this big, wide-open life. But now that we’re actually here, something’s shifted.

We’ve changed. We love adventure and I've no doubt we'll pave our own path once they fly the soup. But we've also found contentment and peace in our reality and have realised more and more that we love the lives we lead. And what we once pined for doesn’t have the same pull it used to.

Enjoy this episode of us discovering our new phase of life.

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How do you let go of the old way when it’s the very thing that built you? How do you trust a new rhythm when the old one got you here?

Today, I share ...

• The 'doing' voice that tells me stay on it, stay in it, don’t you dare let go
• The fears that if I slow down I’ll disappear, become invisible, waste my potential
• The soul voice that whispers, there’s another way
• What it feels like to be wedged between don’t-let-go and surrender-darling

This is the work of the soul. To risk being smaller in the eyes of my own ego so I can be bigger where it actually counts, inside my own life.

If you’re terrified of letting go, yet aching for something softer, truer, and more sustainable… you’ll feel this one.

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After eight years together it’s easy for Steve and me to fall into the rhythm of everyday questions like what’s for dinner? how was your day? and forget to ask the kind of questions that keep curiosity and intimacy alive.

Recently, we’ve been using Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? cards as a way to speak more deeply about topics and explore conversations we wouldn’t usually tap into. In this episode, we pulled a card that asked:

What is one thing you wish you had been told as a child?

We each share our answers, the reflections that came with them, and what this kind of intentional curiosity does for our relationship.

This episode is an invitation to remember that love doesn’t just grow on autopilot. It grows when we keep showing up with openness, playfulness, and a willingness to learn about each other, even and especially, years in.

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I sit with Ashley Hayball-Heald, a previous client of mine, who is a widowed, brave woman, who let love in again after her husband died. She tells the story of how she navigated grief, kids, other people’s opinions, signs from her husband who died, and what it looks like to say yes again to love. 

Ashley is the founder of Team Hayball and Find Your HOPE. She coaches widows to find their hope again amidst tough times. She’s remarried now, but that didn’t come easily. She’s been through the dark nights, the silence, the judgments, the doubts. She knows what it looks like when life breaks you, and what it takes to slowly piece your heart back together. 

If you’ve lost someone, or you’re holding space for someone who has, or you’re just someone who believes love always has the capacity to show up again, this one’s for you. 

Check out Ashley here:
Love after loss
Substack

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