I actively choose happiness and joy every single day — and the more I share that, the more it seems to confuse people.

In this episode, I'm getting into the mindset behind everything I do on The Scarlet Edit. Why positivity is my baseline, how my upbringing shaped me in ways that defy the stereotypes people project onto women like me, and the specific moments in my life — from my divorce at 38 to ending a five-year affair to a situationship that wrecked me — that brought me to the decision to stop letting anyone else dictate my emotions.

I also talk about the moment in a hotel bathroom in Greece where I said "I value myself" out loud, why controlling only what I can control has been the single biggest contributor to my happiness, and the origin story of how The Scarlet Edit came to be — from a rough talk at a retreat in Austin to the lightbulb moment that changed everything.

Plus, I address shame head-on, share a wild YouTube comment exchange, and explain why the expectation that I should feel ashamed says more about society than it does about me.

If you've been wondering how to get to the other side of shame, grief, or starting over — this is the episode.

Related episode: The Role of Shame in Divorce, Affairs & Betrayal | Dr. Zoe Shaw

New episodes every Thursday.

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