Everyone says they want community.

But most people don’t have it.

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron pick up where last week left off and break down why the word community has been diluted—and what it actually takes to build something real.

Community is not a follower count.
It’s not a group chat.
It’s not “good vibes.”

Real community is embodied, relational, and reciprocal. It requires participation, structure, boundaries, and repair. If it doesn’t ask anything from you, it’s not community—it’s proximity with branding.

Kyle shares a practical framework for building communities that last (paid or unpaid), including mission/vision, agreements, member selection, leadership, feedback loops, and the containers that create trust over time. Tori breaks down the biggest myths that cause people to crave community while resenting the effort it requires.

Because the future doesn’t need more online audiences.
It needs villages.

In this episode:

• Why “community” has been watered down in the digital age
• The truth: community is inconvenient by design
• Why aligned communities still cost energy (and why that’s normal)
• The myth that a community should meet all your needs
• What makes communities fragile—and how to protect them
• A step-by-step framework to build a real community where you live

Sponsors

Anywhere Clinic
Virtual psychiatric care from the comfort of your home. Support includes medication management and ketamine therapy options (where eligible). Appointments can start as low as $120. Check if your insurance covers it.
Visit: anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Function Health
Get clear, comprehensive lab testing and real data on what’s happening inside your body so you can make smarter decisions with your health. USE CODE: TORIG25 for $25 off your membership. 
Learn more: FunctionHealth.com/torigordon

Follow + Listen

If this episode hit, follow the show and share it with one person you want to go deeper with this year.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CW60wbPxLzr5zOBRAB0jR?si=c1b37dab534a4704
YouTube: https://youtu.be/jber8KlebnU?si=HKmU-nUFX_X9vLad
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-stay-human/id1475408897?i=1000747092963

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.