Everyone says they want community.

But most people don’t have it.

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron pick up where last week left off and break down why the word community has been diluted—and what it actually takes to build something real.

Community is not a follower count.
It’s not a group chat.
It’s not “good vibes.”

Real community is embodied, relational, and reciprocal. It requires participation, structure, boundaries, and repair. If it doesn’t ask anything from you, it’s not community—it’s proximity with branding.

Kyle shares a practical framework for building communities that last (paid or unpaid), including mission/vision, agreements, member selection, leadership, feedback loops, and the containers that create trust over time. Tori breaks down the biggest myths that cause people to crave community while resenting the effort it requires.

Because the future doesn’t need more online audiences.
It needs villages.

• Why “community” has been watered down in the digital age
• The truth: community is inconvenient by design
• Why aligned communities still cost energy (and why that’s normal)
• The myth that a community should meet all your needs
• What makes communities fragile—and how to protect them
• A step-by-step framework to build a real community where you live

Anywhere Clinic
Virtual psychiatric care from the comfort of your home. Support includes medication management and ketamine therapy options (where eligible). Appointments can start as low as $120. Check if your insurance covers it.
Visit: anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Function Health
Get clear, comprehensive lab testing and real data on what’s happening inside your body so you can make smarter decisions with your health. USE CODE: TORIG25 for $25 off your membership. 
Learn more: FunctionHealth.com/torigordon

If this episode hit, follow the show and share it with one person you want to go deeper with this year.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CW60wbPxLzr5zOBRAB0jR?si=c1b37dab534a4704
YouTube: https://youtu.be/jber8KlebnU?si=HKmU-nUFX_X9vLad
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-stay-human/id1475408897?i=1000747092963

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In the most connected generation in human history, why are so many people quietly falling apart in isolation?

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Kyle and Tori unpack the loneliness epidemic—and why it’s not just a “sad feeling,” but a real threat to our physical health, mental wellbeing, and long-term resilience. If you’ve ever had a lot of people around you but still felt alone, this conversation is for you.

Kyle shares a shocking insight from a health longevity conversation: loneliness is one of the most lethal forces impacting human health today. Together, they explore how our culture has traded depth for breadth, why adult friendships often dissolve into “surface-level proximity,” and how social media can create a false sense of closeness that leaves us even more disconnected.

You’ll also learn a practical framework for rebuilding real connection: the Four Circles of Relationship—a way to map the people in your life so you know who is truly core, who is inner circle, who is outer circle, and who is simply an acquaintance. This episode invites you to stop taking friendship for granted and start treating your most important relationships with the same intention you give to your career, goals, and romantic partnerships.

Because real friendship isn’t something you “luck into.” It’s something you build—through consistency, vulnerability, reciprocity, and care.

• Why loneliness impacts physical health (stress, cortisol, heart disease, and more)
• The difference between being “connected” online and being known in real life
• Why adult life makes friendship harder (survival mode, busyness, and the dopamine scroll)
• A story that reveals how much we’ve confused audience for friendship
• Why closeness isn’t history, proximity, blood, or nostalgia—it’s access + truth

The Four Circles of Relationship framework:

• Acquaintances
• Outer Circle
• Inner Circle
• Core (chosen family)

The real test of friendship: who answers when life falls apart

A powerful exercise to audit your relationships and name where dissonance exists

Why vulnerability is leadership—and why you can’t be loved if you can’t be seen

How deeper relationships become a form of resistance in a dividing world

Who do I call when I’m not okay?

Who thinks they’re close to me… but doesn’t actually have access to my real life?

Which relationships am I maintaining out of habit, history, or image?

Who is on the edge of my outer/inner circle—and do I want to deepen it?

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, a virtual mental health provider offering expert support from the comfort of your home. Whether you’re exploring ketamine therapy, need medication management, or want a supportive psychiatric guide, you can prioritize your mental health today.
Book an appointment for as low as $120 or check whether your insurance covers it at www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

In the next episode, we go deeper into the how: how to build real community, what it means to be a good friend, and what sustainable connection actually requires.

If this episode hit home, share it with someone you love—and take one small step toward connection this week.

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If you’ve been feeling behind, stuck, or like your goals keep slipping through your fingers, this episode will reframe everything.

Tori shares her original framework, The 7 Seasons of Becoming Human, to help you identify where you are right now and stop forcing strategies that don’t match your current season. Because growth isn’t linear. You don’t “graduate” into constant momentum. You cycle. You rebuild. You reorient. And when you learn to work with your season instead of fighting it, your life gets clearer and more easeful.

Kyle joins as a student in the conversation, sharing real examples of moving through disruption, liminality, experimentation, devotion, and founding, and how seasons shape our ability to create goals that actually stick.

At the end, Tori shares how to take the 7 Seasons quiz and where to go deeper with the Substack series.

- Why “linear growth” is a myth (and what’s actually true)

- How to identify the season of life you’re in right now

- Why you can be in different seasons across different areas (business, health, relationships, faith)

The 7 Seasons breakdown:

• Comfort (belonging, structure, conformity)
• Disruption (initiation, rupture, awakening)
• Liminality (the in-between, surrender, identity dissolving)
• Discovery (curiosity, experimentation, aliveness)
• Decision/Devotion (choice, integrity, cutting off other paths)
• Founding (systems, discipline, sustainability)
• Stewardship (legacy, service, wisdom)

- The question each season asks you (so you stop shaming yourself and start listening)

- How to stop “swimming upstream” with your goals

- Why your friends’ advice might be wrong for you (they’re often in a different season)

- How to communicate your season to your partner, friends, and team for better support

Take the 7 Seasons of Becoming Human Quiz: https://torigordon.com/seven-seasons

Read the 7 Seasons Substack series: https://torigordon.substack.com

Contact: [email protected] or [email protected]

Today’s episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — a mental health clinic offering a holistic approach to well-being with psychiatric care, medication management, ketamine therapy, TMS, talk therapy, and peak performance coaching. Anywhere Clinic supports anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, insomnia, and more, with personalized care plans across multiple U.S. states.

If you’re looking for support that blends modern clinical care with a whole-human approach, check out Anywhere Clinic and explore their services.

Visit www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

If this episode helped you, subscribe for new weekly episodes of How to Stay Human.
Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or watch the full episode on YouTube.
And if you take the quiz, share what season you’re in — it changes how you set goals in 2026.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

As 2025 comes to a close, Kyle and Tori invite you into a more human way to plan your next chapter—one that honors your energy, your nervous system, and the natural rhythm of life.

We reflect on the state of humanity in 2025—polarization, system breakdowns, and the quiet revolution of people choosing a more conscious path. Then we shift into a practical framework for 2026: why New Year’s resolutions often fail, how winter is meant for reflection, and how to create goals that are simple, measurable, meaningful, and aligned with your inner authority.

Kyle shares the SMART goal framework, breaks goal-setting into personal vs. professional, and maps personal goals through the seven energetic bodies (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, primal, social, financial) plus life logistics. Tori grounds the conversation with the core reminder: don’t follow the crowd—follow your truth, your body, and your season of life.

If you’ve been forcing goals that don’t stick, this episode will give you a new map.

• How to reflect on 2025 using themes (integration, not pressure)
• Why winter is for slowness, stillness, and intention-setting
• How to create SMART goals that you can actually sustain
• The seven energetic bodies goal framework (plus life logistics)
• How to balance maintenance and experimentation
• Why inner authority matters more than dogma
• How to stop chasing someone else’s life and build your own

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, a mental health clinic with a holistic approach to care, including psychiatric care, medication management, ketamine therapy, TMS, talk therapy, and family counseling.
Learn more / book a consult:  www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Substack: torigordon.substack.com

Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod @thetorigordon @kyleaherron

Website: torigordon.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Relationship agreements only work if you actually use them. In this episode, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron share how to implement relationship agreements in real life: how to recognize when you’re drifting, how to regulate before you react, and how to build weekly check-ins that keep love practical, safe, and alive.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Use relationship agreements as guardrails (like bowling bumpers) to stay aligned with your shared vision
• Spot the signs you’re drifting (in your body, mood, tension, and motivation)
• Practice the “Sacred Pause” before reacting when you’re dysregulated
• Create emotional safety so vulnerability becomes a source of trust (and attraction)
• Use weekly check-in questions to prevent resentment and strengthen connection
• Track “ouchies” and wins so the little stuff doesn’t become the big stuff
• Ask for support in a way that improves efficiency, intimacy, and teamwork
• Bring play back into your partnership (without needing a “reason”)

Key Concepts & Frameworks

• Agreements as guardrails: A living manual for repair, regulation, and alignment
• The Sacred Pause: Pause → regulate → return to the agreement → choose your next step
• Ouchies: Naming small hurts before they stack into resentment
• Weekly rhythm: A light structure that becomes more fluid over time
• Mutual accountability: Repair is reciprocal, not one person “doing the work”

Weekly Check-In Questions (steal these)

• What did I do this week that you loved?
• How could I have loved you better this week?
• Do you have any “ouchies” we need to bring presence to?
• What support do you need from me in the coming days?
• What would be fun for you this week?
• Where are we aligned with our shared vision right now?
• Where are we drifting? What agreement isn’t being honored?
• What responsibility am I taking for how I show up this week?

Resources

Substack: Relationship agreements + check-in questions (paid subscribers get the full formats Tori & Kyle use): https://torigordon.substack.com

Get our Relationship Agreements Starter Pack: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcp

Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod | @thetorigordon

If you loved this episode:
Send it to your partner or best friend, and try one question together tonight.

Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic—your online destination for high-quality mental health and hormone optimization.

Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication management, or want ongoing support from experienced clinicians, Anywhere Clinic brings expert care to you—wherever you are.

💻 Book your first appointment or explore holistic mental health options now at:
anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you have ever wondered how healthy, conscious couples stay connected through conflict, grow without outgrowing each other, and build relationships that feel safe, passionate, and deeply alive, this episode is for you.

In one of the most intimate and practical conversations yet, Tori and Kyle pull back the curtain on the relationship agreements they created at the very beginning of their partnership — the same agreements that now serve as the foundation for their love, their communication, their emotional safety, and their shared vision for the future.

These are not rules. They are living, breathing commitments that help two sovereign individuals build a partnership rooted in truth, devotion, stability, and integrity.

Whether you are single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers a framework for how to create a relationship that does not rely on guessing, hoping, and wishing — but instead is built intentionally, consciously, and collaboratively.

You will walk away with a deeper understanding of:

Why every relationship needs its own “operating system”

How to create emotional safety and navigate conflict with clarity and compassion

The power of nervous system regulation and timing in your communication

Why openness, truth, and mutual understanding are pillars of intimacy

How to stop keeping score and create a partnership that feels like team, not competition

How shared vision, polarity, and sovereignty fuel long-term love

What it looks like to choose each other over and over again

This is a grounded, honest, spiritually rich conversation about love as a path of awakening — and partnership as a sacred container for growth.

• You want a conscious, mature, emotionally safe relationship
• You’re calling in a partner and want to do it intentionally
• You’re already partnered but want more stability, clarity, and connection
• You want tools for communication, nervous system regulation, or conflict repair
• You love hearing real, honest conversations about what it takes to build lasting love
• You’re tired of performing partnership and ready to practice partnership

• Why couples need written agreements (not just unspoken expectations)
• How to build your relationship like you build your business: with intention and clarity
• The difference between values and virtues — and why both matter
• What it means to create a relationship “container” and why it’s essential
• Regulation: the #1 building block for connection, intimacy, and repair
• The 5 regulation agreements Tori and Kyle use every day
• How to navigate conflict without collapsing or attacking
• Why timing matters more than you think
• The “heard, held, or helped” framework
• How to stop making your partner the enemy
• The truth about polarity — and why so many modern relationships lose it
• The power of shared vision and co-creating a future

Your mental health matters. Your nervous system matters. Your wholeness matters.

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — the online psychiatric and mental health care team Tori has personally worked with for years. Whether you are exploring ketamine therapy, need medication management, or want long-term support, they offer compassionate, expert help from wherever you are.

Book your appointment at:
👉 www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

00:00 — Welcome, intention, and why relationship agreements matter
03:45 — Treating your relationship like a business (in the best way)
07:10 — How unspoken expectations sabotage intimacy
12:00 — Values vs. virtues and the foundation of partnership
17:40 — Openness, truth, and what Tori needs to feel loved
25:00 — Why emotional transparency requires safety
30:20 — Regulation: the first pillar of conscious partnership
37:55 — The 5 regulation agreements
45:30 — Timing, bandwidth, and energy awareness
53:00 — Communication, emotional safety, and repair
1:00:00 — Mutually balanced growth and ending scorekeeping
1:10:00 — Love, polarity, and partnership
1:18:00 — Shared vision and co-creating your future
1:30:00 — Choosing each other again and again
1:34:00 — Closing reflections and part two preview

To continue your journey with the concepts from this episode, we have created The Relationship Agreements Starter Kit. This is a practical, grounded toolkit for building a partnership rooted in clarity, connection, and love. It includes a translated version of our own agreements, a fill-in-the-blank template, and a step-by-step framework for creating and integrating your own. You can find it here: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcp

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle open a conversation that sits at the core of personal transformation — the difference between values and virtues, and why virtues are the true compass of the soul.

Values are often inherited… taught… or projected onto us by culture, religion, or institutions.

But virtues?
Virtues are embodied.
They live in the body, in the heart, in the soul. They are the qualities of your essence — courage, honesty, devotion, awe, patience, truthfulness, creativity, trust, and more.

Together, Tori and Kyle walk through:

• Why values often feel rigid, performative, or socially prescribed
• Why virtues are alive, adaptive, and deeply personal
• How virtues help you return to yourself during seasons of uncertainty
• How to identify your “home frequency”
• How to map your own virtue design (your soul’s operating system)
• What underdeveloped virtues are trying to teach you
• How virtues show up inside partnership and mirror your growth
• Why your virtues shape your reputation, impact, and spiritual expression
• How to use virtues as a framework for healing, clarity, and self-leadership

This is a foundational episode — one that will change the way you understand yourself, your relationships, and the path you’re walking.

If you’re feeling lost, unsure, or in transition… this episode will bring you home.

• Virtues vs. values
• Home frequency
• Virtue mapping
• Embodiment vs. performance
• Soul-led decision making
• Devotion vs. attachment
• Trust, surrender, faith
• Assertiveness, detachment, honesty
• How virtues support relationships
• How to stay grounded during uncertainty

0:00 — Welcome to Just Push Record Studios (Austin episode 2)
1:30 — Why this conversation is timely + alive
3:00 — The limitations of socially prescribed values
7:20 — Values vs. virtue signaling
9:30 — What virtues actually are (mystical, philosophical, psychological)
11:30 — Virtues as the language of your light
14:30 — Success vs. excellence (a major reframe)
17:00 — Your inherent worth and divine nature
18:50 — Values as performance vs. virtues as embodiment
20:45 — Innovation vs. creativity (doing vs. being)
22:30 — Attachment vs. devotion
25:45 — The Virtues Project + how to work with the cards
29:40 — Mapping your virtues + identifying your core essence
34:20 — Tori’s core virtue: Truth
36:00 — Virtue clusters in relationships & partnership mirrors
39:45 — Kyle’s hardest virtue: Assertiveness
42:40 — Detachment, trust, surrender
47:00 — When you feel lost, virtues bring you home
49:30 — How to navigate uncertainty using virtues
51:20 — Using virtues to solve problems & make decisions
53:00 — Appreciating virtues in others as a spiritual practice
54:30 — Final reflections + an invitation to choose a virtue this week

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — a modern mental health and neuroscience clinic offering psychiatric care, ketamine therapy, TMS, and holistic support for anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout, and more.

Their team blends cutting-edge science with compassionate, human-centered care to help you heal at the root and reclaim your clarity, calm, and confidence.

Learn more or book a consultation at:
👉 www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This is the story behind the biggest leap of our lives.

In this new episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle open up about the decision to leave Las Vegas, uproot their entire lives, and begin again in Austin — not from fear, not from pressure, but from alignment, trust, and truth.

This episode is an intimate look at what it means to follow your soul when the path is unclear, the timing feels inconvenient, and the stakes are high.

It’s about endings done well, beginnings done bravely, and learning to trust the signs that guide you into your next chapter.

We explore how to choose calling over comfort, how to maintain sovereignty inside relationship, how to honor the seasons of your life, and why true partnership never asks you to abandon yourself.

This is a conversation about alignment, courage, devotion, and the unknown — and what becomes possible when you say yes before you have all the answers.

The fear and excitement of starting over in a new city

Why all meaningful change begins with a single yes

How to know when a season of your life is complete

Why endings deserve intention, closure, and respect

How to live from calling rather than comfort

The difference between commitment and devotion

How to stay sovereign inside relationship

What it means to follow signs instead of logic

Why resistance to change creates suffering

Asking the question: What do you want to be known for in this chapter?

You feel a life change coming, but you’re afraid to act

You’re in a season of uncertainty, transition, or initiation

You want to learn how to hear and trust your intuition

You’re craving deeper alignment and more honesty with yourself

You’re exploring partnership, sovereignty, and conscious relating

You need permission to end a chapter — or begin one

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, your online destination for evidence-based mental health care.

Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication support, or want to work with a clinician who sees your whole person, Anywhere Clinic brings high-quality care directly to you.

💻 Learn more or book your appointment:
anywhereclinic.com/tori

00:00 — Welcome to Austin: the start of a new chapter
02:00 — The invitation of change and the discomfort of the unknown
04:30 — Saying yes even when the path isn’t clear
07:00 — The first nudge toward Austin (and why it took years)
10:00 — Spiritual awakenings, internal shifts, and following the call
14:00 — Signs, synchronicities, and trusting the higher self
17:00 — Ending a marriage, beginning a pilgrimage
20:00 — Listening to your soul vs. abandoning yourself
24:00 — Kyle’s dark-night-of-the-soul and major life reset
29:00 — Surrendering control and learning to swim with life
34:00 — The moment their paths reconnected
38:00 — Devotion vs. compliance in conscious partnership
42:00 — Why safety and sovereignty matter before big decisions
47:00 — Ending well: how to close a chapter with integrity
52:00 — Starting a new chapter without leaking energy
55:00 — What they each hope to be known for in Austin
58:00 — Final reflections: movement over fear, alignment over certainty

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What if health wasn’t just physical—but a full-spectrum experience of being alive?

In this continuation of The Seven Energetic Bodies, Tori and Kyle return to complete the holistic framework that’s shaped how they live, love, and lead. In Part II, they explore the social, financial, primal, and spiritual bodies—the energetic dimensions that connect us to belonging, abundance, vitality, and divine purpose.

This is a grounded, heartfelt conversation about how to build real balance in a world that glorifies hustle, isolation, and survival. Through personal stories, practical frameworks, and spiritual insight, they reveal what it means to live in alignment—body, mind, and soul.

 What We Cover

The social body: building conscious relationships rooted in truth and boundaries

The financial body: transforming your relationship with money and self-worth

The primal body: reconnecting to nature, movement, and instinct

The spiritual body: deepening your connection to the divine

Why balance begins with awareness

How avoidance, neglect, and disconnection show up across all seven bodies

The importance of co-elevation and growing with your community

How money mirrors your internal state of value and trust

Practices to return to your primal and spiritual intelligence

Why awareness—not perfection—is the first step toward wholeness

This Episode Is For You If:

You feel off balance or out of rhythm in your body or relationships

You’re craving deeper connection—to yourself, others, and Spirit

You’ve been avoiding your finances or feel disempowered with money

You sense that your modern life has disconnected you from nature

You want to live with more purpose, stability, and spiritual integrity

🧬 Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic—your online destination for high-quality mental health and hormone optimization.

Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication management, or want ongoing support from experienced clinicians, Anywhere Clinic brings expert care to you—wherever you are.

💻 Book your first appointment or explore holistic mental health options now at:
anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome back to Part II: Expanding into wholeness
03:00 – The social body and the power of boundaries
08:00 – Conscious relationships and energy management
15:00 – How your community reflects your identity
20:00 – The financial body: money as energy and mirror
27:00 – Awareness, avoidance, and taking responsibility
32:00 – Building systems for financial stability and sovereignty
40:00 – The primal body: returning to instinct and nature
46:00 – The cost of modern disconnection and overstimulation
51:00 – The spiritual body: rediscovering inspiration and divine guidance
56:00 – Integration and daily awareness practices
59:00 – Closing: The journey of self-mastery is infinite

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What if you could see your entire life on one dashboard—your health, your mind, your emotions, your relationships, your finances—and know exactly what was in or out of balance?

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron introduce a new model for holistic success: the Seven Energetic Bodies.
They explore how physical vitality, mental clarity, and emotional regulation form the foundation for all other aspects of a fulfilled life.

You’ll learn:

What the 7 energetic bodies are and how they interact

Why systems don’t limit freedom—they create it

How to identify imbalance and restore harmony in your life

Practical steps to strengthen your physical, mental, and emotional bodies

The difference between reactivity and intentional creation

Why emotional expression (especially for men) is a gateway to freedom and connection

This episode will help you come home to yourself—body, mind, and heart—and build a life that supports your purpose, vitality, and peace.

00:00 – Introduction: The infinite game of self-mastery
04:45 – Outgrowing your old self & the messy middle
08:20 – Kyle introduces the 7 Energetic Bodies framework
14:30 – Why systems create sovereignty
19:10 – Physical Body: Movement, sleep & nutrition as gateways to vitality
24:30 – Tori’s journey with Function Health and personalized data-driven wellness
34:00 – Mental Body: Mastering your mind and inner dialogue
40:10 – The cost of stress and information overload
44:50 – Emotional Body: Awareness, regulation & the courage to feel
55:00 – Healing masculine conditioning around emotion
1:02:00 – Authenticity, congruence & embodied leadership
1:08:30 – The Emotional Guidance Scale & the Map of Consciousness
1:10:00 – Closing reflections & what’s coming next (Part 2)

🎧 Brought to you by Anywhere Clinic
Your modern hub for holistic mental-health care—psychiatric support, therapy, medication management, and integrative solutions to help you feel clear, calm, and connected.
👉 https://www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

🧬 Optimize your health with Function Health
Get 100+ biomarkers tested and understand your body like never before.
Go to www.functionhealth.com/torigordon
Use code TGORDON15 for $100 off your membership.

Follow How to Stay Human on Instagram → @howtostayhumanpod
Follow Tori Gordon → @thetorigordon
Follow Kyle Herron → @kyleaherron
Watch full episodes on YouTube → How to Stay Human Channel
Subscribe to the How to Stay Human Substack for deeper reflections → www.torigordon.substack.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.